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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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Err, no thanks!

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4 hours ago, roo860 said:

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Ask a married man 😎😆

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Get married they said,you will be happy for the rest of your life!

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1 hour ago, jvs said:

Get married they said,you will be happy for the rest of your life!

image.jpeg.e2e02efd9141204bf07db47e697025ad.jpeg

There's a word gone missing. Should be "Get married, they said. You will be happy for the rest of your single life!"

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A Surgeon goes to visit his patient after her operation, and he asks her how she is feeling.

 

“I’m feeling fine” she replied.

 

“Well, have you any questions you would like me to answer?” he asked.

 

“There is one thing” she whispered with a red face, “When will I be able to resume my sex life?”

 

The surgeon was taken aback and thought for a moment, but then said “I am not sure, I have never been asked that before, after a Tonsillectomy”. 😀😀

 

"I don't want to know why you can't. I want to know how you can!"

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An elderly man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive European sports car…

Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man.

He yells, "Look what you did to my car…!!!”
"You're going to give me $10,000 right now or I'm going to beat you to a pulp!"

"Oh my…" the old man said nervously, "I don't have that kind of money.”

“Let me call my son…,” he said with hope, 
“he trains dolphins and he will know what to do."

"Dolphins..!?!?!" the other driver huffed, while rolling his eyes.

The old man pulled out his phone, dialed his son, and just as his son answered, the irate man snatched the phone away from the old man.

"So, YOU'RE a dolphin trainer, huh..?!?!” The irate man yelled, “Well, your old man here just rear-ended my car and I need TEN GRAND right now, or I'm going to beat you AND your old man to a pulp…!!"

"I'll be there in 10 minutes," says the voice calmly on the other end.

Exactly 10 minutes later, a Jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a heap on the side of the road.

When he finished, he walked over to his father and said….

"For the last time dad, I train Seals… 
Navy Seals.”

“NOT dolphins..!!”

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