2 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

same goes for Grand Prix, etc etc    maybe the Olympics as well?

> Man's best friend

 

 

Brainstorming possible Karma outcomes, from the Toilet Rolls fiasco:

 

 

Laxatives sell out as hoarders try to make use of excess toilet paper

 

There has been a run on laxatives in stores today as shoppers frantically try to justify the 200 rolls of toilet paper that they have stashed in their basements.

 

“When I saw everyone else loading up on toilet paper I thought it must have been important so I did the same,” said one frantic laxative shopper John Bog. “But then when I got home I realised people were just buying it for the coronavirus, and I felt like a right idiot. Now I’ve gotta justify having 50 multipacks of toilet paper in my bathroom or the wife is going to have a fit.”

With laxatives in short supply shoppers were said to turn to other, equally effective products, with service stations across the country selling out of their pre-packaged ham sandwiches in minutes. “This oughta do the trick,” said one happy shopper as he bit into a fresh sandwich from Marrickville’s Vietnamese Roll store. “Oh god, oh no, it’s too powerful, quick, get the napkins!” ???? 

 

 

Very sad when people have to go about their daily routine unroutinely.

 

Just had to share this great news, Corona Cruises are doing a special offer for one month only, you pay for one week and you get two weeks free, I said you pay for one week and get two weeks free.

 

 

Meanwhile in the uk !!

 

Used to be a new car was the way to show off to the neighbours !!

.... oh how times have changed !!

 

From a friend...

"Today’s comedy moment. Currently in the Costa on Great Portland Street. Elderly couple next to me: ‘This virus thing is causing people to not do hand shaking. What is it they’re doing now, fisting or something?!’ Latte now all over my MacBook!"

 

In which case handwashing would be a must I would have thought.

 

Meanwhile back in the uk !!

 

Due to the toilet paper shortage these are selling like hot cakes !!

 

Meanwhile on Bondi Beach !!

 

9 minutes ago, vogie said:

Are you kidding? 

9 minutes ago, Isaanbiker said:

Are you kidding? 

Come on fella, the only way to get through 5h1t like this is to laugh at it.

 

As they say, laughter is the best medicine ???? 

3 minutes ago, Mike Teavee said:

Come on fella, the only way to get through 5h1t like this is to laugh at it.

As they say, laughter is the best medicine ???? 

Talking of which:

 

WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS?

A man smelling of booze and cigarettes sat down on a subway next to a priest. His tie was stained, there was red lipstick on his collar and face and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Tell me Father, do you happen to know what causes arthritis?"
The priest replies, "My son, it's caused by loose living, consorting with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."
The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned", then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong.  How long have you had arthritis?"
The man answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope suffers from it."
MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.
 

HONESTY
It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon.
All the children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said,
"That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
 
 
WHO’S YOUR DADDY
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,
"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
 
 
A PREDICTION
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake.
The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."
She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."
 
 
RESERECTION
The minister started his Children's Sermon with a question, "Who knows what the Resurrection is?"
Without missing a beat a young boy says, "If you have one lasting more than 4 hours call your physician."
The pastor is still laughing.
 
 
REALITY
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class,
"And what do you think that farmer said?"
One little girl raised her hand and said,
"I think he said: 'Holy sh!t! A talking chicken!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.