19 minutes ago, Yellowtail said:

Or they made it on their home computer & printed it off 

 

A Kiwi farmer goes to Australia to visit his Aussie farmer cousin. They drink heavily in the outback pub…Flying down a gravel road in the Holden ute heading back to the farm , the Kiwi screams out “STOP THE UTE” His inbred , redneck hillbillly cousin skids to a halt. The kiwi jumps out and goes up to a sheep , his head caught in a wire fence. The Kiwi drops his daks (trousers) and starts giving the cute little sheep , what can only be described as , a jolly good rogering. He is pounding the fleecy victim , when the Aussie says “Can I have a go?” His magnanimous Kiwi cousin replies “Yeah mate” … and the Aussie goes over , and sticks his head in the fence…..

A rather posh Englishman finds out that he has been left the farm in outback Australia, by a distant cousin who has recently passed away, so he decides to visit it.

 

As he is standing on the porch of the farmhouse, he spies a cloud of dust in the distance which gets closer by the minute and eventually an Australian in a Ute (truck) screeches to a halt right in front of him.

 

"G'day mate, how ya goin (with an Aussie drawl)? You must be my new neighbour and as we don't get many newcomers round here, what about coming over to my place tomorrow for a BBQ – – simply head due west, then turn right for 30 km and you'll come to my place".

 

"I tell you what, I'll throw a few steaks on the barbie, get a few beers in, and we'll have a bit of singing, a bit of dancing and a bit of rooting"!!!

 

Oh, that will be rather lovely said the Englishman, what should I wear?

 

The Aussie replied: – "doesn't really matter, there'll only be the two of us".