"Darling, I know I am not going to be around much longer, but will you promise not to dispose of my cloths when I'm gone"..?

 

"Of course honey, they won't fit Jack anyway".............????

 

HOW TO HAVE SEX WHILE ON LOCKDOWN WITH THE KIDS IN THE HOUSE.

The only way to pull off a lockdown afternoon 'quickie' with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the street activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
'There's a car being towed from the car park,' he shouted.
'An ambulance just drove by!'
'Looks like the Andersons have company,' he called out.
'Matt's out on his bike and his mum is telling him off'
'Looks as if the Sanders are going into full isolation!'
'Jason has had his skate board taken off him
After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are having sex!!'
Startled, his mum and dad shot up in bed!
Dad cautiously called out,
'How do you know they're having sex?'
'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Mars Bar'

Seeing as I'm stuck at home, I decided to do some maintenance around the house...

As I looked into her eyes I felt my knees go weak and my stomach turned to butterflies...

 

That's when I realised I'd drugged the wrong glass!

This is the number 1 joke told in India at the moment:

 

Why don't the Chinese play cricket?

Some <deleted>'s eaten all the bats.

1

 

After getting hit with an armour piercing shell Chuck Norris’s cat was slightly annoyed !!