ahhh - maria! 

 

 

Oldies revisited:

 

If, like me, you were just making some progress with your diet ...

I saw a homeless bloke living in a tyre. I did him a favour and punctured it. He now lives in a flat.

Thailand is developing its own C-19 vaccine. Basic ingredients are Lao Khao and somtam. The lab had a pallet load of each delivered. Lab workers ate the somtam at lunch time. And the doctors drank the Lao Khao. Back to square one.

 

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We were in the back of my Ford Cortina. "Sharon dear; put something behind your ears to excite me." She put her ankles. Looking down I just had to say; "In that position you look just like your sister." She said. "Funny you should say that. Most of your friends say I resemble your mum."

 

I was really annoyed with the wife. She didn't want me to go to the pub, and was making a row. But I was determined. As I was shutting the gate, she opened the bedroom window to shout out something obscene. The neighbors were all watching and listening. But I got in first. "I shagged you before we were married!" That'll shut her up I thought. "So did all your mates." She shouted back.

 

Feeling very nostalgic. I spoke to the wife; "Remember that first time, in the railway siding? In the dark it was? First you pleasured me, then you gave me your cherry and then you got on your hands and knees and let me into that special place. Then as we got up you ripped your panties on that bit of metal that I kept, and showed everyone down the pub. Can we do it again soon dear." She relied; "So that was you was it?"

 

Can't keep these Essex girls quiet.