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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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A guy goes into his local bank and says to the manager, "I'd like to borrow £100,000 to open a cheese factory in Cheshire. It's gonna be great."
" Hold on a minute", says the bank manager. "There's already a company called Cheshire Cheese - you're gonna have to come up with something better than that."
The guy comes back next week, and says, "Right I've got it. I want to borrow £200,000 to open a cheese factory in France. It's gonna be called Brie Cheese."
"I'm afraid that one's already there too," says the bank manager. "Brie Cheese is world famous, so I can't lend you the money for that."
In a last ditch attempt, the man comes back in the following week. "Right", says the man, "I've got it. I want to borrow £500,000 to open a cheese factory in Israel."
"Oh, now we're talking," says the bank manager. "What are you going to call it?"………..
The man smiles proudly and says, "Cheeses of Nazareth....”

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Guy walks into a bank with a shotgun and says to the cashier

“Fill this bag with money or you’re Geography”.

“Don’t you mean History?”

“Don’t change the f-in' subject!"
 

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The other day a guy asked me if I wanted to pet his cocker spaniel.
Feeling kind of weird about the whole thing now… I think I should’ve chosen the spaniel.

Guy calls for an ambulance in the middle of the night.

“Quick, the baby is coming we need an ambulance right away. Quick!”

“Calm down sir, have your wife’s waters broken?”

“Yes yes! Hurry!”

“How dilated is she?”

“Well, we’re both over the moon, but we need a f-in’ ambulance!"

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May be an image of text

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May be a black-and-white image of 1 person, car, phone, parking meter and text that says "PHONE IFROM PHONE FROM CAR INEL NER ANDC DIESEL FUEL AMOCO"

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This is bot he works for Facebook bot does not like people to have an

opinion Bot is a <deleted>

 

image.jpeg.aa9511a004e14f1461a1d13cc7e6f2a0.jpeg

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1 hour ago, Crossy said:

That reminds me, I have my old Sooty and Sweep puppets to give away.

Don't want any money, I just need someone to take them off my hands.

 

 

 

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May be an image of text

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