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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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Must get me one of those Nectar cards...

 

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4 hours ago, ballpoint said:

More from the late great Dick Emery.

 

 

Accompanied in the first sketch by Sam Kydd, a man who popped up in hundreds of movies from the 1950s on, nearly always in a "bit part"

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It's all in the best POSSIBLE taste!!

 

Could it even be made today, let alone be broadcast prime-time??

 

 

"I don't want to know why you can't. I want to know how you can!"

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A cop pulled me over and said, "Papers."

I said, "Scissors," and drove off.

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Why don't witches use popular dating apps?

I don't know, why?

Because their ancestors had a bad experience with matches on tinder.

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2 hours ago, Crossy said:

 

 

It's all in the best POSSIBLE taste!!

 

Could it even be made today, let alone be broadcast prime-time??

 

 

 

They did have some standards.  He originally called the character Mary Hinge, but the BBC wouldn't allow it.  They must have used up all their brain power working that one out, as Cupid Stunt passed inspection.

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What does “intelligent stupidity” mean?

 

A man has a tyre blowout right in front of the insane asylum.

 

He struggles to pull the car over to the side of the road.

 

Then the usual routine : jack, spare tyre, lug wrench…as he starts removing the wheel.

 

But the four lug nuts roll away and fall into the street drain.

 

The drain can’t be opened; the nuts are gone.

 

The man looks around helplessly, sits down discouraged on the curb.

 

An inmate, who has been watching the whole thing through the barred windows of the asylum from the beginning, calls out:

 

“Hey, you fool! What are you doing?”

 

“ Don’t ask, my friend. The tyre blew, and when I was changing it, the lug nuts fell into the drain.”

 

“ Why make things so complicated? Take one lug nut from each of the other wheels. Then you’ll have three per wheel. That’ll hold until the next workshop !”

 

The man does as he’s told, and shouts back to the inmate:

 

“And you , what are you doing in the asylum ?”

 

The answer is legendary...

 

“We’re here for madness, my friend , not for stupidity !”

 

Madness is one thing, stupidity is another !

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