16 hours ago, roo860 said:

I let slip to them, there's a mouse in the house... (they got very emotional) 

1 hour ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Good news guys, due to lockdowns and quarantines another 2 months have been added to 2020 ????

 

that's okay these days, as everyone is now buying those 18 Month calenders

1 hour ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

apparently those ancient Nephilim girlies had big jugs? 

Modern Confucius:

Man who wants pretty nurse
must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web,
leads to undoing of fly.

Lady who goes camping must be
aware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg
will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps
to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets
tired. Man who runs behind car
gets exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get
good run for money.

War does not determine who is right
It determines who is left.

Man who fight with wife all day get
no peace at night.

It takes many nails to build a crib
but only one screw to fill it.

Man who drives like hell is
bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet
is high on pot.

Second hand car prices are going through the roof!

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A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. “I’m doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?”

She said, “Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.”

“If you don’t mind my asking,” he said, “what do you use it for?” “We use it when we make love,” she said.

The researcher was a little taken aback. “Usually people lie to me and say they use it on a child’s bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you’ve been so frank so far, can you tell me exactly HOW you use it?”

The woman said, “I don’t mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the doorknob and it keeps the kids out.”

11 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg
will not find nuts.

In Thailand it might!