A woman goes to a counsellor, worried about her husband's temper.

The counsellor asks, "What's the problem?"

The woman says, "I don't know what to do. Every day my husband loses his temper for no reason. It scares me."

The Counsellor says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems your husband is getting angry, take a double shot of Jack Daniel's and swish it in your mouth. Swish and swish, but don't swallow until he either leaves the room or calms down."

Two weeks later, she goes back to the counsellor, looking fresh and reborn.
She tells the counsellor, "That was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband started to get angry, I swished the Jack. I swished and swished, and he calmed down. How does swishing Jack Daniel's in your mouth do that?”
The counsellor says, "The Jack Daniel's does nothing. Keeping your mouth shut is the trick."

• Those who  jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
• A man's home  is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
• Dijon vu - the  same mustard as before.
• Practice safe eating - always use  condiments.
• Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or  death.
• A man needs a mistress just to break the  monogamy.
• A hangover is the wrath of  grapes.
• Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor  play.
• Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
• Condoms  should be used on every conceivable occasion.
• Reading  while sunbathing makes you well red.
• When two egotists  meet, it's an I for an I.
• A bicycle can't stand on its  own because it is two tired.
• What's the definition of a  will? - (It's a dead give away.)
• Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.
• In democracy your vote counts,  In feudalism your count votes.
• She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
• A chicken  crossing the road is poultry in motion.
• If you don't pay  your exorcist, You get repossessed
• With her  marriage,, He got a new name and a dress.
• The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
• You  feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
• Local  Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
• Every  calendar's days are numbered.
• A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
• A boiled egg in the morning  is hard to beat.
• He had a photographic memory that was  never developed.
• A midget fortune-teller who escapes from  prison is a small medium at large.
• Once you've seen one  shopping centre, You've seen a mall.
• Bakers trade bread  recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
• Santa's helpers are  subordinate clauses.
• Acupuncture  is a jab well done.

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That your...

Best joke i've heard all year...

 

 

Thailand

9 hours ago, roo860 said:

Not me! I saw both dogs immediately.

The wife said I should get in touch with my feminine side.

So I shouted at her for no reason and went out and crashed the car.

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The Royal Navy Fisheries Protection squadron, are equipped with three River-class patrol vessels, HMS Tyne, Mersey and Severn. On the map below please indicate, with a cross, where you think they should be best deployed.

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Government preparing to tax the British public in 2021 for all the cash spent in 2020