As a young boy I was blessed with a nine and three quarter inch penis . . ..
Unfortunately it belonged to Father O'Malley

The wife came out of the bathroom and said: “I have just shaved my pussy and you know what that means don't you”?
I said. “Yeah, the bloody plug hole is blocked again”!

 

Some people are complaining about these lockdowns but they have been a godsend for me.

Finished the extension and even had the time to make myself a hammock ............

 

 

............. time to put my feet up and have a cold beer before the house warming guests arrive.

I used to have a job cutting holes to make trapdoors for theaters...

It was just a stage I was going through.

Olaf the Viking is shopping at a supermarket when he comes across an old lady in a wheelchair, almost in tears.
"What's the matter?" asks Olaf.
"Oh," sobs the old lady. "I want to have a look at the frozen puddings but, as you can see, there are three steps down into the chiller cabinets."
"No problem," says Olaf, lifting her onto his back. "I'll take you."
Olaf strolls through the chiller cabinets with the old lady on his back. She selects several puddings and puts them in the basket he is carrying for her.
At the other end the old lady's husband is waiting with her wheelchair.
"I'd really like to thank you," says the old lady as Olaf sets her back down in the chair, "but I don't even know who you are!"
Olaf just waves and walks off.
"I was really worried about you," says the old lady's husband. "What have you been doing?"
She replies: "Well, I've been through the desserts on a Norse with no name."

On 4/16/2021 at 6:13 PM, billd766 said:

That reminds me of Lt Phillips in "The Navy Lark" on Sunday afternoons back in the middle of the last century.

 

On 4/16/2021 at 7:02 PM, doctormann said:

Left hand down a bit.  No, your other left!

Crash, bang, HMS Trout bridge has docked .

Ps I think it is still aired on Radio 4 extra. 

11 hours ago, kickstart said:

 

Crash, bang, HMS Trout bridge has docked .

Ps I think it is still aired on Radio 4 extra. 

No currently available episodes, unfortunately.

13 minutes ago, doctormann said:

No currently available episodes, unfortunately.

Although there seem to be a lot of episodes her <https://www.radioechoes.com/?page=series&genre=OTR-Comedy&series=The Navy Lark>

89 Year old...