Birth Control for Grandma
The doctor that had boon seeing an 80 year old woman for most of her life finally retired At her next check-up, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.
 As the doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as be realized Grandma had a prescription for a continuous supply of birth control pills
’Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are birth control pills?
 ‘Yes. they help me sleep at night'
'Mrs Smith. I assure you there is absolutely nothing in these that could possibly help you sleep!
The old lady reached out and patted the young Doctor’s knee ..’
Yes. dear. I know that.

But every morning. I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter, who I have to care for after her parents were killed in an awful car crash, drinks and believe me. it definitely helps me sleep at night’.

 

 

You gotta Love Grandmas logic’
 

1 hour ago, sanuk711 said:

He might even be an ex president of the USA!

34 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

What is work, apart from walking to the Liverpool dole queue and then to the pub?

Just now, fangless said:

What is work, apart from walking to the Liverpool dole queue and then to the pub?

 

Have to stop at the methadone clinic for breakfast....

1 minute ago, Yellowtail said:

 

Have to stop at the methadone clinic for breakfast....

Check your spell cker!  I think you meant Buckfast!

 

PS;  I will leave the non Brits to use Mr Google, if they are sober enough to get this one!

 

 

One for Britman..

 

.

A ventriloquist was touring Sweden and was doing a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his lap, he started going through some of his standard dumb blonde jokes.

 

After several rounds of joking and laughter, a blonde woman stood up and started shouting,  "I've heard enough of your stupid jokes.  What makes you think you can stereotype Swedish women that way? What does the colour of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?

 

It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, from reaching our full potential as equal humans. It's people like you who make others think that all blondes are dumb!

 

You and your kind continue to pathetically discriminate against, not only blondes but women in general; all in the name of humour!"

 

The stunned ventriloquist started to apologise, but the blonde interrupted and screamed,  "Now, YOU stay out of this! I'm talking to that little 5h1t sitting on your lap.