On 6/11/2021 at 11:35 PM, roo860 said:

????????????????????????????????

 

 

 

They ain't speaking Thai.

15 hours ago, tomazbodner said:

Darn... a bear that can turn into lion!

Damn it that find and replace didn't work after all!

 

PS;  I was just testing your reading and concentration skills-you got 10/10 for accuracy and 0/10 for showing off and embarrassing me!????

 

PPS;  I did the edit as I could not think of a country/scenario that had Dobermans, squirrels and lions all in the same area!

6 hours ago, Zyxel said:

I suppose those with a sore throat might appreciate some toast and "special" jelly!   

11 hours ago, Doctor Tom said:

a lot of tarts 

I didn't know the French army had female soldiers.  That must make their retreats slower or do they just leave the women behind?

A non medical student attended a Medical exam by mistake.

See his answers... 

 

1. Antibody - One who hates his body .

2. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure.

3. Bacteria - Back door of a Cafeteria .

4. Coma - Punctuation Mark .

5. Gall Bladder - Bladder of a Girl .

6. Genes - Blue Denim.

7. Labour Pain - Hurt at Work .

8. Liposuction - A French Kiss .

9. Ultrasound - Radical Sound that is above human hearing capacity, such as wife's talk.

10. Cardiology - Advanced Study of Playing Cards .....

11. Dyspepsia - Difficulty in drinking Pepsi.

12. Chicken Pox - A Non-Veg. continental dish.

13. CT Scan - Test for identifying person's
city

14. Radiology - The study of how Radio works

15. Parotitis - Information about the parrots.

16. Urology - The  study of European people
 

 Me behave badly?  No wonder - look at the examples I had to follow! As a child I saw 
Tarzan almost naked, 
Cinderella arrived home after midnight, 
Pinocchio told lies, 
Aladdin was a thief. 
Batman drove over 200 miles an hour in a built up area. 
Snow White lived in a house with 7 old men. 
Popeye smoked a pipe, consumes weird hormone therapies and had tattoos, 
Pac Man ran around to digital music while eating pills that enhanced his performance, 
Shaggy and Scooby were mystery solving hippies that always had the munchies. 
The fault is not mine If you had this kind of childhood and loved it

I was offered sex today, with a 21 year old girl. 
In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. 
Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a strong willpower. 
Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. 
Now available scented with lemon or vanilla.
Please see the next page of my FB profile for more details.

PS; Yes she was great-you could say I cleaned up!
 

SHAMPOO WARNING
Urgent please read and pass along
Do not wash your hair with shampoo while in the shower!
 
Many people use the shampoo in the shower.
However when doing so the shampoo runs down the body 
Printed clearly on the shampoo label "for extra body and volume".
No wonder people gain weight. 

Stop using shampoo - start
Using dishwashing liquid!
It's label reads "dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove" Problem solved!
If I don't answer any phone calls or texts, I'll be in the shower!
   
 

 A 70 yr old man asks his wife 
"Do you feel sad when you see me running after young girls?" 
Wife replied, 
"No not at all. Even dogs chase cars they can't drive!
 

 Food inspector in a bakery catches Paddy using his false teeth to do the design on the edge of the apple pies.
She roars "Have you not got a tool?" 
"Yes," replies . Paddy.
"But I use that  for the doughnuts."

Chat-up Line:-  • There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you. 

What kind of monkey can fly? -

A hot air baboon. 

20 minutes ago, fangless said:

Chat-up Line:-  • There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you. 

 

Got two nipples for a dime?

22 hours ago, Beachcomber said:

What do you call a camel with three humps?

Humphrey.

 

22 hours ago, Beachcomber said:

What do you call a camel with a flat back? -

Humphrey. 

I just got it Doh! 

 

One is HumpThree

And the other is HumpFree 

 

Think I'll go back and try crack some of the others I missed 

Mick and Paddy are driving home, both quite alcohol intoxicated, when all of a sudden Paddy starts shouting:

 

Mike! Slow down...The wall! BRAKE!! THE WALLLLL!!!!!! *CRASH*

 

Next morning they both wake up in hospital, when Paddy turns to Mick and says:

 

What the hell is wrong with you, Mick?! I was telling you that you're driving towards wall and to brake but you just kept going!

 

Mick: Why are you yelling at me? It was YOU driving!

3 hours ago, ravip said:

There are probably more airplane (wrecks) than active submarines in the ocean.