1 minute ago, tomazbodner said:

Stop bragging! ????

Thanks!  But just remember you taught me all I know.

 

PS;  Your slot is round the other side!

Long time friends Sylvia & Wanda meet up in Heaven!!

SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda.

WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?...

SYLVIA: I froze to death.

WANDA: How horrible!

SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

SYLVIA: So, what happened?

WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer -- we'd both still be alive.

18 minutes ago, tomazbodner said:

I would take that with a pinch of (blue bag) salt!

 

PS;  That one is for the older Brits!

55 minutes ago, Zyxel said:

 

 

     IN

 

 

 

 

You 

are here

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11 hours ago, Zyxel said:

I better get another BJ Parking sign made!

A little boy was excited when his father finally agreed to take him to the zoo. When they got home, his mother asked whether he had a good time. 
 ‘It was great,’ said the boy, ‘and Dad really enjoyed himself too especially when one of the animals came in at 20-1.’ 
 

A man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. 
'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' 
So he tied her up and went down the strip club. 
 

 "The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks." 
"And did he?" 
"Yes, I had to sell the car to pay his bill." 
 

“I was in the army once and the Sergeant said to me: ‘What does surrender mean?’

I said: ‘I give up!'”
 

“This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.’

I said: ‘Is that a fret?'”
 

Chat-up Line:-  • If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put U and I together. 

WORST JOKE....yesterday's Belgian Grand Prix result.    555