Pressure pressure

[What to do now]

HELP! After several months of talking to a Thai lady on the net I flew to Thailand to meet her. We spent some together ,and before I left she already was talking about getting married ( yes I know a RED flag ). But I do care about her and told her maybe in the future this could happen. In her mind I guess this was as good as a proposal.

Now she's heavily pressing that we marry a.s.a.p. 

  I have many concerns, 1- she wants to come to the USA where I live. This wouldn't be a major problem for me if she didn't have children. that's right...she wants to leave her children with family while comes to the USA. I have never met the children and do not feel it is right to marry her without some sort of connection with them. 2- I'm seeing she does have huge emotional swings. One minute I am her one and only, next she tells me I do not care about her and do not love her ( this happens usually when i tell her we need to slow down on the getting married part). 3- I think she wants to come to the USA ,get a job and send all her money back home, while I am expected to pay all the bills her and I aquire. 

    So...do i follow my heart and press forward with a woman I have grown to love , or follow my mind and run like hell from a potential disaster? 

[timendres]

Grow a pair. Dump this nightmare before it gets out of control. As for #3, she is coming to America to get positioned to divorce you and get whatever compensation she can, once she lines up the next sucker. You will not likely get her to the USA without a fiance Visa. Have you actually read the agreement that you are making with the Federal Government if you bring her to the USA to marry? If that does not scare you out of your shorts, then you don't understand it.

[Inn Between]

Okay, I'll take the bait, even though I can't believe this is a legitimate post.

 

Read you own words again, OP, and I think you'll see the only possible answer is very clear. Any woman who will dump her own children, has wild mood swings and starts pushing to get married basically from day one should set the alarms ringing and red lights flashing dangerously. Run Forest, run!!!

[andux]

Way too many red flags. 

 

You can try telling her the truth, which is that you don't even know each other yet, and getting married at this point is way too fast. Tell her you need to date for at least a few years to really get to know her and her children. My guess is that she will cry or try to manipulate you again, but don't give in.

 

[Traubert]

That's the third one today.

 

We need a Dear Dierdre forum.

[DaRoadrunner]

So many similar posts "Weird wife" ... "Wife out of control" ... etc. Yep, Thais are weird. Their behaviour in any given situation makes no sense to a foreigner.

 

As for this one, I'd do what I do best.... a runner!

[Puchaiyank]

Marrying an expat is akin to winning the national lottery.

 

If you want to see just how much she loves and cares for you...tell her you have experienced some financial setbacks and will have to carefully plan your expenses...which excludes having money for her...

 

Her response will indicate if this relationship is primarily a business deal...

 

Good luck!

[madmen]

This time never got past the first word "HELP!" 

[steven100]

here we go again .....   bla ...bla ...bla  what should i do.

 

Answer: Just get married ... what could possibly go wrong.

[PatOngo]

Buy her a house and a car in Thailand and she'll be happy, don't forget to throw in some gold as well...everything will work out fine!....Oh, did I mention a new iPhone?

[jerojero]

Run Forest run! Immediately cut her loose!

[CharlieH]

Off topic posts removed.

[david555]

Sometimes a single man feel lonely …..but oh so worry free ... reading about the married or in a steady relation ones ….

[david555]

1 hour ago, jerojero said:

Run Forest run! Immediately cut her loose!

and brush away your trail & footsteps 

[petermik]

This lady sounds a keeper..ideal for you,marry her ASAP and spend the rest of your life in bliss

[thaibeachlovers]

Seriously? Run. Don't tell her where you are going to live, but far away from her. Change your phone number.

They have mind control when you are with them. After you have left you will realise how close you were to disaster.

Never get involved with a Thai woman that will leave her family and move to another country permanently. In my experience they wouldn't do that, so it's a temporary thing in her mind, whatever she says ( my wife said a lot of things before we got married that she didn't mean, like "I will love you forever" ). Had I taken my wife to home country, she'd have been on next plane home had her mother got sick and gone to hospital ( which she did frequently ).

[wisperone]

Cough...troll post...Cough

[cornishcarlos]

Seems these newbie troll posts are becoming a regular part of TVF... 

I would say it's someone that has something to gain !!