Daughter of Alzheimer's mum hits back at "keyboard warriors" - praises Philippines immigration

[webfact]

Daughter of Alzheimer's mum hits back at "keyboard warriors" - praises Philippines immigration

 

 

 

The daughter of a 77 year old woman with Alzheimer's who said that her mum had been forced out of Thailand because of changes in financial rules has slammed critics online as "keyboard warriors" who are "lost souls who feel powerful behind a computer screen".

 

While appreciating that online forums are for sharing ideas she slammed some posters as "crazy, negative, aggressive and accusatory".

 

Meanwhile she had nothing but praise in a statement issued to Thaivisa about her initial experiences at immigration in Manila calling it "a breeze' with her mum's case handled in just one hour.

 

Deanna Denis left Chiang Mai with her mother Anna Padgett, 77, earlier in the week. She claimed that immigration requirements needing 800,000 baht to be lodged in a Thai bank were making it impossible for her mother to stay.

 

She had been paying 86,000 baht per month at Chaing Mai's Care Resort and was happy with this. But needing extra money for her and her husband's retirement in Nakorn Sri Thammarat forced her to seek cheaper options in Metro Manila.

 

There the fees for long term Alzheimer's care are a third of Thailand, she told Thaivisa.

 

Her case has received much comment on Thaivisa forum and Facebook both of a positive and negative nature.

 

Mrs Davis, 57, told Thaivisa in an email that she did not want to comment on the forum as she was not a "keyboard warrior" and her mother was her focus.

 

In her statement she said she had no reason to defend her actions. She said forums were meant for free comment but she accused some members of being "negative, aggressive and accusatory".

 

She said that work in animal rescue in Thailand had helped her understand that "emotional topics tend to make people crazy".

 

She spoke of "lost souls who feel powerful behind a computer screen".

 

She said that her mum has settled into her new surroundings well. Whether it was Thailand or the Philippines it was better than the USA.

 

The Atlanta native said she was not angry with Thai immigration - the family just couldn't keep their mother here when the rules changed.

 

She said that immigration in Manila was a breeze. There were many helpers on hand and her mother - who has had Alzheimer's for 15 years and been in Asia for two - did not need to attend in person.

 

 

A sign at immigration in Manila promises service - even at lunchtime

 

Her case was dealt with in an hour and she can renew at six month intervals up until three years when a card will be issued.

 

"For now, I am happy to have my Mom settled in the new place! She is safe and well cared for,” Mrs Denis told Thaivisa in an email.

 

“We want everyone to know that, despite the inconvenience, we are incredibly happy that we made the decision to move her to Asia 2 years ago, as we feel the care here (whether Thailand or Philippines) is superior to what her fate would have been in the states.

 

"While the immigration situation in Thailand was frustrating, I can't be upset about it. It's their country and we are mere guests. We will follow the rules they set out, and at whichever point we can't ... we will leave. Being angry about it doesn't make sense to me, and at this point in my life, I will not use my valuable time for anger or negativity.

 

 

People at immigration in the Philippines

 

"Immigration in the PH was a breeze. I call it "controlled chaos". There are helpers called "liaisons" in purple vests everywhere! There are hundreds! They help with questions and to direct people where to go. So while there are tons of people, it magically moves very quickly. I didn't have to physically take my Mom, and was completely done within 1 hour. She has to renew every 6 months, and can keep doing that for up to 36 months, at which point, she can pay for a "card" (about 3000 pesos). I still need more details about the card. Bottom line .. she will be able to stay here as long as she lives".

 

#noregrets #LifeWithAlzheimers

 

 

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[Seth1a2a]

Alzheimer's patient forced out of Thailand: 

 

This headline was probably the source of the negative backlash because it implies that she was forcibly removed by Immigration in some sort of callous and heartless fashion  as opposed to the actual family decision to make better arrangements for her care.  A fair and true statement: 

Alzheimer's patient relocates to the Philippines due to financial constraints

 

Would have been received with a completely different overall response and there certainly would have been an outpouring of well wishes and congratulations on your success in finding a solution to your dilemma .  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[crazygreg44]

"The Atlanta native said she was not angry with Thai immigration - the family just couldn't keep their mother here when the rules changed"

 

 . . .the Thai Immigration rules never changed.

 

It was the U.S. Embassy that stopped issueing "Income Affidavits" for the 86,000 THB she paid monthly for her Mum's care home. Actually the Embassy had in the meantime lied on her behalf - the payments were in no way any "income" of her Mum. She even mentioned this hard fact in her first statement, but this got snowed under in all the following comments.  

 

Personally I had wished for a solution offered by an Immigration Boss, because they are entitled to be lenient with some individual cases, and that sadly never happened

Edited May 30, 2019 by crazygreg44

[smedly]

Move on honey

 

I cannot imagine I would ever put my mother on a center social media stage for anything 

 

there were actually solutions to your situation if you had asked the right people

 

you are saying you are seriously pissed off with Thailand and yet you still choose to live here and ship your mother off to another country - sorry but ……………………..am I stating the obvious here...…………..your mum would have been better in Thailand as a dependent  spouse - for baht85k you could have hired a team to look after her in Thailand instead of dumping her to another country - am I missing something   

 

with respect - Just as well your mother has no clue what is going on

[YetAnother]

2 hours ago, webfact said:

the family just couldn't keep their mother here when the rules changed.

we are not wanted here and a whole lot of people are now understanding that; thais want our money but they do not want us livng here

[Odysseus123]

24 minutes ago, smedly said:

Move on honey

 

I cannot imagine I would ever put my mother on a center social media stage for anything 

 

there were actually solutions to your situation if you had asked the right people

 

you are saying you are seriously pissed off with Thailand and yet you still choose to live here and ship your mother off to another country - sorry but ……………………..am I stating the obvious here...…………..your mum would have been better in Thailand as a dependent  spouse - for baht85k you could have hired a team to look after her in Thailand instead of dumping her to another country - am I missing something   

 

with respect - Just as well your mother has no clue what is going on

I thought that the thread was rather putrid,lacking either compassion or grace on the part of some posters and she is certainly quite correct in her description of "keyboard warriors".They are what they are.

 

Far,far, too many smug little foreign kapo's in Thailand.

Edited May 30, 2019 by Odysseus123

[ukrules]

Good luck in the Phillipines, I'm sure everything will be just fine over there.

 

Thailand is going down, has been for years and will continue to do so for years to come.

 

[smedly]

21 minutes ago, Odysseus123 said:

I thought that the thread was rather putrid,lacking either compassion or grace on the part of some posters and she is certainly quite correct in her description of "keyboard warriors".They are what they are.

 

Far,far, too many smug little foreign kapo's in Thailand.

do you have a mother ?

 

If you had would you ……………………………………….

 

out of respect I will leave it there

[sqwakvfr]

“She has to renew every 6 months, and can keep doing that for up to 36 months, at which point, she can pay for a "card" (about 3000 pesos). I still need more details about the card. Bottom line .. she will be able to stay here as long as she lives".”

 

So the mother now has a 3 year Visa that can be renewed every 6 months?  The “Card” she is talking is about is an ACR card.  I did not know such a PI visa existed and did not have financial or income requirements.  If what she claims is true then I might be there next year when I Extension expires?  

 

I do know of many foreigners who are on the Tourist Visa Extension scheme that can last for 36 months.  After the 36 months a “Visa Run” has to be executed and then the 36 month cycle can be begin again.  Tourist Visa’s in the PI can be extended for 1 to 2 months?  These foreigners in the PI that I know of normally go to Immigration up to 5 times a year for Tourist Visa extensions.  

[LomSak27]

1 hour ago, crazygreg44 said:

It was the U.S. Embassy that stopped issueing "Income Affidavits" for the 86,000 THB she paid monthly for her Mum's care home. Actually the Embassy had in the meantime lied on her behalf - the payments were in no way any "income" of her Mum. She even mentioned this hard fact in her first statement, but this got snowed under in all the following comments.  

 

This is a broken record, romper.  After how many months and you are still stuck here?!  Why not get out of the parents basement. Go kick some pigeons.
 

[Bert got kinky]

 

As far as I can see this woman put herself in the firing line of the 'keyboard warriors'.

She decided to try to garner sympathy online but does not like the posts being made.

If you don't want your 15 minutes of fame, step away from the spotlight.

[notasmartassknowitallfarag]

Thailand seems to have a high proportion of these type of individuals.

 

For example Bangkok expats facebook users, who if they can’t help a situation, would rather be negative than be silent. 

[Gecko123]

Some of the hostility expressed surprised me as well. I think that talking about caring for an infirm parent can sometimes trigger a lot of negative emotions in people. People feel guilty for not being there when they were needed. There's resentment towards others who maybe didn't help out as much as they might have, but also resentment towards the caregiver who was there because it makes those who weren't feel guilty. That's my guess about what was behind some of the hostility directed towards the daughter.

Edited May 31, 2019 by Gecko123

[BritManToo]

36 minutes ago, sqwakvfr said:

So the mother now has a 3 year Visa that can be renewed every 6 months?  The “Card” she is talking is about is an ACR card.  I did not know such a PI visa existed and did not have financial or income requirements.  If what she claims is true then I might be there next year when I Extension expires?  

No,

You can just rock up to the Philippines and stay for 3 years without leaving. Then you have to leave for one night and can stay another 3 years. You just hand your passport to an agent and they will process the extensions every 2 or 3 months and never need to see immigration during that time. About $300/year. Friend of a friend was elderly and a bit unsteady, so he went along to immigration near the end of his 3 year stay and told them he was a bit worried about the night away, they said "no problem sir, we'll just make a note in your passport that you don't need to leave, and you can stay another 3 years".

 

Great place the Philippines, they don't force the old and the sick to comply with silly rules.

Thailand immigration are a nightmare, this lady is better off in a country that has flexibility and compassion towards foreigners.

[Crash999]

Not sure what visa the mom is on for now but the Philippines embassy website lists a $20k deposit requirement for those without a pension and who want to retire. 

 

After the 36 months runs out she may be back to square one. 

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, Crash999 said:

Not sure what visa the mom is on for now

She''l be on VISA waiver on entry (30 days), extendable for 3 years (extensions cost around $300/year).

Western people don't need a VISA for the Philippines.

Edited May 31, 2019 by BritManToo

[nobodysfriend]

4 hours ago, webfact said:

But needing extra money for her and her husband's retirement in Nakorn Sri Thammarat forced her to seek cheaper options in Metro Manila.

The cheapest option would be to take care for her old mum herself ....!

[Bayrat]

Loser.  Looking after your family, especially your parents is #1, 

[mikebell]

The bottom line; Thailand lost 86,000 a month because no one in authority has a brain.  The country will continue to lose money to neighbours until jobs are awarded on merit not family connections.

[Pravda]

1 hour ago, ukrules said:

Good luck in the Phillipines, I'm sure everything will be just fine over there.

 

Thailand is going down, has been for years and will continue to do so for years to come.

 

 

Yet the baht is going up. Below 40bgp even at super rich

[ezflip]

I still don't understand what "Alzheimer" and "Thai Immigration" have to do with each other. Someone suffering from Alzheimer will not get a free pass from immigration, right? So why the screaming headlines about an Alzheimer patient being forced out of Thailand? The two have nothing to do with each other.

 

Don't get me wrong. I sympathize with the daughter as I, myself, left Thailand to take care of my step-father who is also suffering from Alzheimer. But I would never use his ailment of as a mean to vent my frustration at a situation that is not to my liking.

Edited May 31, 2019 by ezflip

[Cabradelmar]

There is a lot of pent up something (anger, hostility, etc.) going on on this forum. Just a microcism of the larger Internet / social media experience 

[cheapcanuck]

Good to see it worked out for all involved.

Edited May 31, 2019 by cheapcanuck

[BritManToo]

8 minutes ago, ezflip said:

Someone suffering from Alzheimer will not get a free pass from immigration, right?

Not in Thailand, but everywhere else probably.

Funny that the country that insists on respect for the elderly, in reality offers none.

[dotpoom]

4 hours ago, webfact said:

While the immigration situation in Thailand was frustrating, I can't be upset about it. It's their country and we are mere guests. We will follow the rules they set out, and at whichever point we can't ... we will leave. Being angry about it doesn't make sense to me, and at this point in my life, I will not use my valuable time for anger or negativity.

Exactly.....so what was all the fuss about?

[essox essox]

my mother died from this deadly disease.....and I know what the daughter is going thru.

I WISH he all the best in the Fils, and hope the Mother is happy and content with the new surroundings......

[smedly]

52 minutes ago, tomster said:

I brought my mother to the same care home as she did. This was in 2016, she died there in 2017.

 

Best thing I ever did - it was bloody difficult to organise but I gave her a great death, way beyond anything she could have hoped for in the UK.

 

To get around the Visa issue I just ignored it and she went on overstay, worked fine back then but no way I would do that now with all the crackdowns.

 

I also didn't post about my experience on TV, just got on with. Made my Mum very happy in the end, Alzheimer care in Asia is way, way beyond anything available in the UK, at about half the cost.

Tom a wonderful contribution to this sensitive issue - big respect and thanks for sharing 

 

[essox essox]

30 minutes ago, nobodysfriend said:

The cheapest option would be to take care for her old mum herself ....!

have you tried to take care/look after someone with this disease...??

It IS NOT EASY AT ALL.....and i speak from experience....

[Powder]

i wish you and your mother all the best and i hope your mom will be well taken care off. God bless you and good luck

[robblok]

No rules change what so ever, just 4 embassies that had to stop giving out letters because they did not check the letters just let people swear the money was there and the income was there. 

 

I commented how unfair that was before to people of embassies that actually had to prove they had the money. Just a matter of time until the Thai immigration would see the same thing.

 

All the other embassies go on with those letters and keep doing checks. The embassies could have changed and preformed checks like other embassies then things would be all good.

 

When I was married I had the money in a Thai bank and if I retire I had planned to put the money in a Thai bank as per the rules. Nothing has changed in that way.