Getting into a relationship with a bar girl

[thisisrascal]

This has not happened to me, nor do I want to, as far as I'm concerned bar girls are there to serve a purpose whilst you're in Thailand, but I have just had a rather threatening call from an English bloke telling me to stay away from a bar girl who was a good girl, and I a good customer, as he is now in a relationship with her. 

 

Beyond hoping that she is fit and healthy I couldn't care less about the girl but of course it's nice that she sends me topless pictures of herself, so I was happy for her to have my Line ID. Anyway, my question is why on earth would anyone want to get into a relationship with a bar girl, surely the bloke must know that the chances are she's not going to be at all loyal to him when he's back in the UK? 

 

Sorry if this topic has already been covered and if I come across as ignorant, I'm just puzzled. 

[scubascuba3]

Sponsors are crazy, let's call it naivety.

 

The girls are just unlucky to be born poor and need money to support the family

 

 

[madmen]

What happened to newbies first few posts being simple questions like how much is a rub n tug or where is the cheapest beer in pattaya. So much drama coming from newbs 

[SenorJorge]

"Relationship" isnt the term you want to use.  Not for prostitutes and even former prostitutes in Thailand.

 

I would go as far to say that any Thai woman who speaks even a moderate amount of English in a farang-dominated area may fall into this category.

 

Your "relationship" isn't a relationship at all, it is a BUSINESS TRANSACTION.  Remember that.  Even if you marry, its a business transaction.  Forever.

[CharlieH]

Simple, it's what can happen when the little head takes control, coupled with "pretty woman" syndrome !

 

Ever seen the movie "pretty woman" ? The rich guy "saves" the street girl ! Or White Knight syndrome is another version. You get the idea.

 

[RichardColeman]

Be fair to him, I think most of us have done similar stupid things in the past thinking that a bar girl would be as true as their first love before reality and understanding set in

[Swedenlars]

Be fair to him, I think most of us have done similar stupid things in the past thinking that a bar girl would be as true as their first love before reality and understanding set in

Very true. I was one them 20 years ago. Looking back I can't believe how naive and stupid I was at the time. But I think as new comers and greenhorns we lost our instincts and brains meeting these bar girls. Just not used to these nice words from a girl anymore. Never mind. Marry a former bar girl can go well. But the chances are very slim. I know. Because I know a immigration officer from my home country. Any advice ?Yes. Take a Filipina. But not from the bar. I didn't make the mistake twice. Now married for 17 years already. But up to you.

Gesendet von meinem SM-N950F mit Tapatalk

[SenorJorge]

The Doors had a great song about Pattaya and Pattaya girls.. 

 

Maggie M'Gill

 

Quote

Miss Maggie M'Gill, she lived on a hill

Her daddy got drunk and left her no will

So she went down, down to Tangy Town

People down there really like to get it on

 

Now if you're sad and you're feeling blue

Go out and buy a brand new pair of shoes

And you go down, down to Tangy Town

'Cause people down thereReally like to get it on

Get it on

 

[ezzra]

A million posts have been poured over the subject of bar girls... Nothing much to do whether she is a bar girl or not, it has a lot to to with how easy these girls can be approached and befriend them, so loneliness and personality has a lot to do with associating with easy to approach women...

[yogi100]

You're not really puzzled you're just trying to have a wind up.. There are thousands of blokes all over the world sending money to these sponging little trollops.

 

I've recently been asked by a good pal of mine to go and make sure for that 'his girl' that he's sending 20,000 B a month to is no longer working in her bar. And he's not a newbie. She's told him she's being a good girl back up in the boondocks working on the family farm.

 

So far I've passed the bar three times and not seen her there. But that does not mean that she's not changed bars, there are hundreds or possibly thousands of bars in Pattaya.

 

He's made the same mistake before but he's not that daft that he would dream of blaming her punters for his own naivety. 

 

If you like the girl carry on seeing her when she can fit you in. Let the idiot know in some way and tell him go and **** himself when he rings you again. What can he do if you and he never meet face to face.

 

She must have somehow let him find your number on her phone so it shows you she could not give a fig about either one of you. You're both just marks, johns or punters along with several others she's probably got on the firm.

 

It'll teach him a lesson not to go to a foreign country, patronise a prostitute then go home and start sending her money in the hope that she'll stop being what she is.

 

Let us know how it transpires. These yarns about lonely lovestruck punters make good reading.

 

 

[Rally123]

Quote

Bar Girl Definition

A woman who projects her charms to deceive and delude. 

[SenorJorge]

24 minutes ago, ezzra said:

A million posts have been poured over the subject of bar girls... Nothing much to do whether she is a bar girl or not, it has a lot to to with how easy these girls can be approached and befriend them, so loneliness and personality has a lot to do with associating with easy to approach women...

The funny thing is I think that bar girls are the cause of and the solution to my misery.

 

Kind of like alcohol is to alcoholics.

 

I am poor and sad today because I married two bar girl types who spent all of my money and used me up.

 

Now the only women who will talk to me is bar girls.  They soothe my loneliness and personal pain.  But they're only my friends.  Nothing more serious than that.

[geoffbezoz]

10 minutes ago, Rally123 said:

A woman who projects her charms to deceive and delude. 

That also describes all and every politician, to whom the taxpayer sponsors via their taxes.  So really ladies that work in the bars etc have some really great role models.

[Isaanbiker]

2 hours ago, SenorJorge said:

"Relationship" isnt the term you want to use.  Not for prostitutes and even former prostitutes in Thailand.

 

I would go as far to say that any Thai woman who speaks even a moderate amount of English in a farang-dominated area may fall into this category.

 

Your "relationship" isn't a relationship at all, it is a BUSINESS TRANSACTION.  Remember that.  Even if you marry, its a business transaction.  Forever.

I fully agree! But when you get married to one, it's a very painful business transaction.  

[SenorJorge]

7 minutes ago, geoffbezoz said:

That also describes all and every politician, to whom the taxpayer sponsors via their taxes.  So really ladies that work in the bars etc have some really great role models.

Most bar girls I've met were pretty big fans of Thaksin Shinawatra.  Just coincidentally ????

[geoffbezoz]

2 minutes ago, SenorJorge said:

Most bar girls I've met were pretty big fans of Thaksin Shinawatra.  Just coincidentally ????

You must only have met the old ones then ???????????????? 

[SenorJorge]

8 minutes ago, geoffbezoz said:

You must only have met the old ones then ???????????????? 

You have me there. 

[OneMoreFarang]

Let's pretend this is serious for a minute: Lots of guy get treated like shit "back home". Sure, they can visit professionals also over there but in my experience, from long time ago, the service back home leaves no room for interpretation that it's all about the money. Charm and nice words are not included in the deal.

Now here in Thailand things are different. Many girls just know how to make guys happy even without any sex. They smile at him, fill up his glass, feed him, touch him, laugh about all his (stupid) jokes, etc. And if a guy didn't get anything like that for the last decade or even never in his life then it's not too difficult to understand that he thinks: She makes me happy and I want to stay with her to be happy everyday.

I think lots of guys who arrived in Thailand had soon, often within days, a "girlfriend". The one girl who was nice to them. And if they are some time together with only that girl they forget that maybe others could also be nice. She of course makes sure that the others know that he is not available anymore.

And even if we look at reality, what is better: Paying for an ugly old bird back home or paying for a young sexy lady here? qed

[Rally123]

1 hour ago, geoffbezoz said:

That also describes all and every politician, to whom the taxpayer sponsors via their taxes.  So really ladies that work in the bars etc have some really great role models.

Whom came first, the politician or the bar-girl? No matter that a politician and the bar-girl have the same 'method of operation' it's BG's we're talking about. But off topic you are correct that the same method of operation happens in politics. 

[SenorJorge]

1 hour ago, Rally123 said:

Whom came first, the politician or the bar-girl? No matter that a politician and the bar-girl have the same 'method of operation' it's BG's we're talking about. But off topic you are correct that the same method of operation happens in politics. 

 

The bar girl.  The world's oldest profession.

[BobBKK]

You take a girl from the bar and deserve everything you get. They are all 'new' and 'cashiers' and 'their first night'. Jeeze!

 

rent don't buy

[BritManToo]

6 hours ago, SenorJorge said:

Your "relationship" isn't a relationship at all, it is a BUSINESS TRANSACTION.  Remember that.  Even if you marry, its a business transaction.  Forever.

Buying my house was a business transaction.

It's not forever, it's just until next time I move.

[tingtongtourist]

Dont see what the big fuss is.

Where else can you rent a bargirl at these

prices for even just 1-2 months if you prefer.

 

Back home they do strictly by the hour and you would not want them hanging around any longer anyways.

 

Marrying a Thai bargirl is a whole different

ball game though, you must be absolutely bonkers to even think about it. 

[BritManToo]

3 minutes ago, tingtongtourist said:

Marrying a Thai bargirl is a whole different

ball game though, you must be absolutely bonkers to even think about it. 

Done it and enjoyed it.

Love the kids that resulted from it.

 

It's all about self control, as long as you don't slip into the delusional state that she loves you for yourself, it's all good. Control yourself, control your money, enjoy your (hired) woman.

Edited June 17, 2019 by BritManToo

[Pilotman]

6 hours ago, SenorJorge said:

"Relationship" isnt the term you want to use.  Not for prostitutes and even former prostitutes in Thailand.

 

I would go as far to say that any Thai woman who speaks even a moderate amount of English in a farang-dominated area may fall into this category.

 

Your "relationship" isn't a relationship at all, it is a BUSINESS TRANSACTION.  Remember that.  Even if you marry, its a business transaction.  Forever.

and how does that differ from every marriage in every culture? Marriage is a contract between two people who give each other different things to make a long term relationship work on a daily basis. 

Edited June 17, 2019 by Pilotman

[tingtongtourist]

5 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Done it and enjoyed it.

Love the kids that resulted from it.

 

It's all about self control, as long as you don't slip into the delusional state that she loves you for yourself, it's all good. Control yourself, control your money, enjoy your (hired) woman.

Ok, but im guessing you did it around 15-20 years ago?

would you try it with todays species??!!

 

[spidermike007]

I know two guys who fell in love with these gals. One was a very, very long term freelancer, and one was a bargirl. Basically the same thing. One is happily married, after over a decade. When people ask him what his wife did before they got married, he says she was a bar girl. That takes guts. The other is not happily married. It just depends. But, his wife was way past the 3,000 mark, no doubt. I also know a guy who got together with a massage gal. But, she was young, and had only been working for a few months. It worked out well for them. Personally, I have no issue being with a woman who has been with a few hundred guys. I think many women in the US have been with at least that many. 

 

I am of the opinion that it depends on the amount of time the woman has been doing the work. Of course you cannot ask her. They all have a story. But, for a relatively small amount of money, an intelligent and earnest man can hire a private detective, who can fairly easily look into her background, and see how long she has been in the trade. 

 

I think up to 100-400 customers, and there is a chance she is still fairly together in her head, and capable of a healthy relationship. Over 400 is where you start getting into dicey territory. I have a friend who worked as a bargirl for a few years, then went to Singapore and worked in a brothel. I would estimate her total to be around north of 4,000. She is totally incapable to conducting a healthy relationship. I think beyond a point, the heart becomes callous, and the woman becomes bitter towards all men. It is just natural that this would happen. 

 

It is a risky endeavor. If you can catch them very early, and can verify that, it can work. Otherwise, it is a fraught with risk, and potential disaster. 

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, tingtongtourist said:

Ok, but im guessing you did it around 15-20 years ago?

would you try it with todays species??!!

 

2009-2016, best years of my life.

She still comes around and bangs me (if the gf isn't around).

[lipflipper]

If you are not planning on living in Thailand when you come here just enjoy all the attention you will get simply by being a Handsum Man. Anything else is like winning the lottery, cause like that your chances are slim and Slim has already left town.

Sent from my CMR-AL19 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[NCC1701A]

7 hours ago, thisisrascal said:

Sorry if this topic has already been covered