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Hi there, My 64 yo Thai wife has become totally addicted to her Iphone in recent years. Prior to that she was an extra good cook and was right on the ball when it came to normal household chores. Now every single thing is DIY but she still demands total financial support. She boots up her Iphone around 4am daily and it's still going till at least 9pm before it's shut down. I'm quite prepared to move out and not return but after being married for 22 years it's not easy.

You could have written that post for me but with a few changes.

 

My wife is 65 and she is addicted to her iPhone, but I don't mind too much. She was a good cook and a good baker. Now she is an excellent baker and still a good cook. She spends HOURS every day on the Internet reading and watching videos about baking sourdough bread and other things. She now bakes some of the best bread. I do most of the cooking now as I enjoy cooking.

 

Luckily she earns more than I do, so I don't support her.

 

In the evenings she will sit and watch tv, talk to me, but the iPhone is glued to her hands as she plays silly games - which she says is relaxing. 

 

I have no intention of leaving her.

Get someone to hack her phone with porn sites. She be busy chasing you around the house.

????❤????????

Love may be blind but marriage is a complete eye opener.

Thai wife and friends all around 25-35 years old, are always on their phones and social media.
My wife always says to be busy while somehow spendings parttime on her phone at least. Cleaning isn't great as well. Perhaps that is where things went downhill. 

Personally could get it if they were at least also doing something productive behind a screen but it is all entertainment and nonsense basically. 
Would make me brain dead but I gave up on trying to convince them to be less busy with it. Wife cleaning also not that great, very different from her family members as well, who are not on their phones all the time. So maybe there is a connection.

Just told my wife I will deduct her budget on cleaner if not doing it, so we got one for 2-3 months, now she wants to save money and do it herself.

15 hours ago, ChaiyaTH said:

Thai wife and friends all around 25-35 years old, are always on their phones and social media.
My wife always says to be busy while somehow spendings parttime on her phone at least. Cleaning isn't great as well. Perhaps that is where things went downhill. 

Personally could get it if they were at least also doing something productive behind a screen but it is all entertainment and nonsense basically. 
Would make me brain dead but I gave up on trying to convince them to be less busy with it. Wife cleaning also not that great, very different from her family members as well, who are not on their phones all the time. So maybe there is a connection.

Just told my wife I will deduct her budget on cleaner if not doing it, so we got one for 2-3 months, now she wants to save money and do it herself.

I totally agree with you  Chaiya, we all have things to do that should take priority daily. I don't mind taking care of myself but when she cranks her Iphone up around 4am in the morning on full volume, never watches movies, music or anything informative I crack up. All she ever does is listens to poo house prophets who many times are very misleading and sometimes dangerous with their information. Maybe the good lady needs some attitude adjustment.

22 hours ago, TooPoopedToPop said:

How old are you, Mason?

If "45" means 1945, the year you were born then you are too old to start over again with a new wife.

Try to deal with the problem in a reasonable way.

Maybe counselling would help if it came from her peer group.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Why is he too old to start again at 74? What are you talking about? I am 76 this year and have a good relationship with my Thai wife and daughter.

 

But if something happened to them - I would start again.

Starting again and getting on with your life isn't just a privilege for the young!

 

If I was the OP, I would let my wife choose. iPhone or me.

Choose the iPhone and I would leave.

No question about it. 

It appears to me that she is in love with her iPhone and no longer with you maybe you should offer her the alternative “ you or the iPhone “ if she chooses the iPhone it’s time to move on just because you have been married for 22 years has no relevance to it it’s clear to me she has found a new love in her life ????????????

The “ smartphone” is the Devil’s playground. It’s more addictive than heroin. And probably twice as dangerous. 
and couples who don’t understand who their primary mate is, will have miserable lives together. 
Tell her how you feel. If she attacks, it’s the end. 

22 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

My gf is far away from perfect. But one of the best things about her is definitely her not phone use.

No fb, line, or any other social media. If she gets more than one or two calls a day she switches it off. And when we go out most of the time she leaves her phone at home. Great girl!

And she is also a great cook. ???? 

Where you found these Kind of specimen?

????

It's just the way of the world nowadays.  You go to a party and 80% of the people are staring/texting on their phones instead of interacting with those around them.

Money talks, stop the money. This will tell you what she wants the phone or you.

I do not think your problem is anything unusual.  For most of my working life I was tied to a pager or telephone and have developed a hatred for them.  Everywhere you go in Thailand and much of the world today people are constantly on their phones.  I have gone to waiting rooms in hospitals, immigration, banks and in shopping malls where you will see 95% of those waiting'shopping are on their phones. Thais are a very social oriented culture and it seems like constant contact with members of their family and their peer group is very important to them,  My wife has many contacts and is in constant communication with them.  I've tried to get her to understand that if 200 friends text her it takes each of them a minute to send their text but it takes her 200 minutes to reply to all of them but my comment falls on deaf ears.  She feels if she gets a message she is obligated to reply.  From what my friends from around the world tell me it is the same everywhere.  You do not (and should not) require constant attention from your wife so get on with it.  She is your life partner and as you would (and be expected to) in any western country you would be sharing the household duties and responsibilities.  If either of you becomes unable to do these things then it is up to the other partner to step up.  Find something to do with your time while she is on her phone.  And, if you want a beer from the fridge get it yourself.     

would explain to her how she is upsetting you with her behavior and then after one week if she hasn't tried to curb her addiction, then I would take a hammer and destroy her phone.

My wife is also addicted  to her phone. She says it is better than the tellie. She loves watching pundits and old films. However, she loves talking to me if I pay some attention to her (I try). It is usually a sign that the couple never talks together, or go out together. Even during this period we go for a walk and avoid people. She talks and I listen and pay attention. This makes for a happy life. Try it and write back to tell us if it works. Dont worry about the phone, worry that you can't talk any more. 

Get an iPhone yourself and download ThaiMatch ???? If she cares she will protest, if she doesn't, well then at least you'll have fun!

1 hour ago, Tarteso said:

Where you found these Kind of specimen?

????

In a bar. But it was a long time ago when mobile phones looked like this. It was a few years before I bought one for business. ????

 

Start interviewing good looking young maids/housekeepers that should get her attention.

Is she doing her wifely duties? If she's not and she's not doing any household chores and she is ignoring you, what exactly would you lose by moving out? There are many women available to support.

 

It seems apparent she is not into you. Don't know if your fault or hers or both. Just what are you getting out of the relationship? What is she getting besides money? Do you two talk,If so, talk about the problem. If not, you must be getting something out of the relationship. Or is it just a habit. Or is just having some one around who is willing to be around you?

Look on the bright side, Mason. If you were to leave, she probably wouldn,t notice ????

when the wife is not out running and doing marathons she is on her phone a lot ,either that or gardening or cleaning or washing the car ,never bloody stops ,now there are two problems ,one ,she gets lots of games and stuff sent on her phone and she sends them to me to make me play them ,and now she cant run she drags me out every morning to walk bloody miles .

i keep telling her ime to busy ,watching all the series on tv ,ive missed over the years????

Maybe it’s exciting to her reading/learning.....  ask her why it’s important to spend all day looking at whatever she’s doing...

ask her to take some time off in the day away from phone and

explain it bother you..,

Is this your wife or your maid? I tell you what, if my dad ever treated or spoke about my Mam like this there would probably be some trouble. If you’re not happy, get a divorce, settle up, then get in whatever help you need and pay for it hourly, and I mean whatever! Lol It’s 2020 for crying out loud. I know things are strange at the moment but have I gone back to Victorian times? 

On 4/23/2020 at 9:17 AM, Gweiloman said:

She is 64 and you still expect her to cook for you and to do household chores? Is she your slave? Employ a maid, for crying out loud. 

It seems you haven't got a clue about Thai culture. It's NOT normal when a 64 year old woman don't take care of the household incl her husband and instead fiddles with a mobile phone. For a younger woman in Thailand 2020 it's another story. "Employ a maid", that's a stupid advise. 

7 minutes ago, leeedwards said:

Is this your wife or your maid? I tell you what, if my dad ever treated or spoke about my Mam like this there would probably be some trouble. If you’re not happy, get a divorce, settle up, then get in whatever help you need and pay for it hourly, and I mean whatever! Lol It’s 2020 for crying out loud. I know things are strange at the moment but have I gone back to Victorian times? 

Don't confuse Thai culture with western culture. You can eat your meal in front of the TV watching premier league. In Thailand that's not the way. A 64 year old woman in Thailand was brought up to take care of the household and her family. Try to learn about Thai culture before you tell people what to do. 

On 4/23/2020 at 9:17 AM, Gweiloman said:

She is 64 and you still expect her to cook for you and to do household chores? Is she your slave? Employ a maid, for crying out loud. 

He's her ATM / Provider . I would say she could cook for him and clean /Share  up to a point . 

this topic is about obsessive time spent with an iphone, not about cooking and other household chores. if it is true that 17 hours a day, then addiction would seem an appropriate term. But addictions don't occur overnight. They develop from what mght have been slightly excessive time attached to device. This "developing" problem, I feel should have been addressed long ago before it got to this apparently unmanageable crisis point.

 

I don't have a defintive solution but would suggest that after 22 years of marriage, it must be possible to broach the matter with her, without threats but with encouragement and support to help at first to reduce tension berween you and to consider a compromise. The relationship is already close to breaking point, as I can see it from here and think that if you believe you still love each other, want the relationship to improve, you be compassionate and patient with her, while she hopefully begins to  realise she needs you to help her.

I wish you good luck with the problem; one which to some extent is happening everywhere.

 

Just be honest and direct with her. "I'm chronically addicted to attention and I feel horribly jealous of this iPhone robbing me of the attention I so crave for.  So choose please... me or the iPhone." If she seriously and genuinely cares for you and your attention-deficit affliction, she'll probably cave like a house of cards and give you the hugs, head pats, room service and massages you seem to unable to survive without.

Lock away all car blue books motorbike  green books and bank books along with cards.

 

Head to Pattaya on May 1 . This is when it is  allegedly  reopening and send her a line message once you are there!

 

Missing you wish you were here.  She will become focused very quickly ????????????????

Do what I do. Go into the Wifi router and block her device. Then just blame it on the the ISP. If she tries to use 3G then disable the Mobile Data on the iPhone. At 64 she won't have a clue what happened.

Toss the phone and buy her a non smartphone Nokia. And one for you too so its fair.