How many genuine Thai friends do you have?

[DrTuner]

Half a dozen. All but one have spent prolonged periods outside Thailand. The odd one out has a German stepdad.

[BritManToo]

40 minutes ago, CorpusChristie said:

I tend to be more direct and decisive , which some Thais consider to be being rude .

Just different cultures 

NO, I think the Thais probably have you right.

[Lacessit]

I have a couple. However, both of them are male and speak good English. It's not a deep friendship.

On the other hand, friendship with Thai women is easy. All one needs to do is get them laughing.

[JAFO]

4 hours ago, thequietman said:

Sense of humour is completely different also. Maybe with an educated Thai male who has a good grasp of English and has been educated overseas might work.

I have quite of few Thai friends, both professional and local neighbors. They drop by to hang out, we go out to dinner.  My work Thai friends are great and quite funny. To your point, they all have very good command of the English language and all are college graduates with professional careers. 

 

I also feel that ones personal demeanor will either engage people or drive them away.  

[JRG23]

Been living/working in Thailand for about 20 years. 

I have no Thai friends. None.

Sorry, but I could never ever trust a Thai as a friend.

[dluek]

I have around a dozen close friends who are Thai, but most of them live in the US. We became friends when I worked there in several Thai restaurants over the course of a decade. Then I moved to Thailand permanently 10 years ago, and I've only made a couple of good Thai friends here. One thing I failed to understand before moving here was how most Thais who live overseas are fundamentally different than most of the Thais who live here in Thailand. Because they live overseas, they tend to be more open-minded and open to becoming close with the people from the country they've relocated to. They were the reason that I even visited Thailand in the first place. 

[5633572526]

The less educated will be intimidated by you and whatever money you have so if you are in a village odds are you will have no Thai male friends.

learning to speak the language will however break down a lot of barriers and frowns can turn to smiles. I have a half dozen good Thai friends between Phuket and Bangkok but all are well educated and are as interested in my culture as I am in theirs so conversation is easy.

 

[Kwasaki]

On 7/1/2020 at 9:22 AM, Liverpoolfan said:

1. anybody know why this is?

2. what are they afraid of?

3. How many genuine Thai friends do you have?

1. I have no idea maybe just you or where you live.

 

2. Most of em speaking English I think. ????

 

3. Tried and tested Thai friend about 14 off the top.

[alien365]

I remember a while back you started a thread about hobbies (I think). I still believe that's where a lot of friendship comes from as people are more genuine. I've met a lot of good people through my hobbies.

[Mac98]

All are female friends I have known as far back as '98. They all know about each other and most have met. They are currently located in Chiang Mai, Pattaya, Phuket, and Paris. One got me to two hospitals by ambulance, standing by me all night, even loaning me money to pay the four-day bill in cash. Others in Pattaya do shopping for me (one just bought me two shirts and two pairs of long pants - her money), bring gifts of fruit, or do my laundry. I'm a frequent guest to dinner or birthdays parties. The one in Phuket is in hotel management at upscale resorts, having worked around the world, and flies in to see me, even cook a meal for me, which she did when working at a resort in Nha Trang. She bought me a gold pendant with images of Ramas IV and IX. I met her in 2000 when she was 22, working reception at a 4-star hotel. The lady, who I met in '98, now living in Paris, visits every time she returns to see her family. The one in Chiang Mai is my landlady. I visit her and her Aussie husband every year. She provides free housing for a month or more in one of her nice country homes near to theirs, and drives me on mountain tours of temples and hot springs as far as Chiang Rai or Pai. I'm now 78 and appreciate the attention more every year. 

   Yes, they share the drama in their personal lives and seek advice. I guess I have become the grandfather figure.

Edited July 2, 2020 by Mac98
Add clarification.

[Siamjim]

tho i am 100% thai, i rather not. i find many, not all ,deep down are sneaky. nice to talk but that's as far i will take it.  however at the markets i trust the men more, women seems to cheat often on sales.

[orientalist]

I have 3, but all Western-educated and computer/tech nerds like me. Having common interests makes all the difference. 

[Thalueng]

I would guess you do not speak Thai besides the few words you have picked up, don't understand the exact meaning of words such as water heart, fallen heart, narrow heart etc. Struggle to understand Thai culture, the Thai military, the standing of the Thai king in all peoples hearts, and do not appreciate "Thai time" and more.

 

Would you say it would be difficult for a Thai to make real friends back home without knowing a word in English, or German, or Swedish?

[JAFO]

2 hours ago, alien365 said:

I remember a while back you started a thread about hobbies (I think). I still believe that's where a lot of friendship comes from as people are more genuine. I've met a lot of good people through my hobbies.

I agree. I have met many off road 4 x 4 enthusiasts and we chat frequently along with some motorcycle riders. Having lots of various hobbies keeps you meeting folks along the way

 

Additionally I am not sure how old the OP is but age and activity level has a lot to do with meeting people, Thai or westerners Having similar interests usually leads to people becoming friends to some level. In all my years living here, the challenges I have had with most foreigners is their level of activity, their hobbies (or lack of) or capability to do things which is usually driven by their age. From what I can determine reading the site, most posters are older and do not do much so making friends with Thais or westerners is not likely. Then again, some may not want friends

[BritManToo]

35 minutes ago, Thalueng said:

don't understand the exact meaning of words such as water heart, fallen heart, narrow heart etc.

I always though 'heart talk' was exclusive to prostitutes and those that associate with them.

If I were to hear a Thai using 'heart talk', I wouldn't mix with them, unless I was looking for an hours private entertainment.

Edited July 2, 2020 by BritManToo

[chocboss]

all depends on what you call a true friend, one of my contractors said if you want to lose a friend lend him money, yes I lent him money and yes I lost a friend of near on 20yrs, the other true saying is all your life time you will not fill the fingers on one hand with TRUE friends 

[Ireland32]

4 all police 

[Leatherneck]

Currently one but he's actually half Thai/half American. I'm quite certain I'm not the main reason why I don't have any more Thai friends because I have tons of genuine Vietnamese friends, including some who treat me like family. I find Vietnamese to be much more sociable and friendly towards foreigners than the vast majority of Thais.

[swissbie]

On 7/1/2020 at 11:31 AM, kenk24 said:

A wai is no more grovelling than is a hand shake grovelling... not returning a wai is similar to holding out your hand and someone refuses to shake it.. it is the opposite of assimilating and is rude... no wonder you don't make friends... 

No Kenk, the "Wai" is not the same as a handshake. If little children give you a "Wai", do you return it? If a cashier in the supermarket does "Wai" you, do you return it? Thais are taught to "yok mueh" even before they are learning to talk. It's similar to pronouncing the Thai language: i do speak Thai since more than 30 years and i am living with Thais (and Burmese) only, but i will never get rid of a certain "farang slang".

[daveAustin]

On 7/1/2020 at 3:22 AM, Liverpoolfan said:

Thai people seem really cold and insular when it comes to being friends.

 

On 7/1/2020 at 3:51 AM, thequietman said:

I am sure there are nice Thai guys out there, but I just don't trust them when they drink, and the 'face' thing is a complete nightmare.

 

Sense of humour is completely different also. Maybe with an educated Thai male who has a good grasp of English and has been educated overseas might work.

You guys are possibly looking in the wrong places or are giving off dodgy signals. Perhaps consider biking, cycling, running clubs away from tourist spots.

 

It makes me sad when I read this because I know you're missing out. Thais are absolutely not cold. To be fair, don't have many genuine Thai friends, but I pit them as worthy as my childhood ones, which are doing their own thing and have naturally drifted. I've said this before; in all the years in visiting Thailand and the times I've been stuck, I've never experienced such generosity of spirit and there is nowhere else I'd rather be when in a jam.

[mike787]

MANY to choose from and ALL make me smile.

[daveAustin]

On 7/1/2020 at 5:07 AM, Liverpoolfan said:

Every time I meet a Thai person I am polite and cordial.

i don’t wai because I’m not Thai and don’t want to show myself up by doin it wrong, 

i smile, bow my head and give them a genuine sawasdee kap.

 

what more do you want from me?

should I grovel at their feet?

So you're not really being polite then. Sorry mucker, you've been there how many years and haven't got the wai sorted yet? It isn't hard, just go as high (typically to the nose) as they do. Bottom line, you haven't got Thai friends because you're not fitting in and are clunky old f'wit lol. 

[jonwilly]

These days more Thai than Frang as the Frang keep dropping, heart attack, stroke, and loss of mobility.

 

john

[thequietman]

5 hours ago, daveAustin said:

 

You guys are possibly looking in the wrong places or are giving off dodgy signals. Perhaps consider biking, cycling, running clubs away from tourist spots.

 

It makes me sad when I read this because I know you're missing out. Thais are absolutely not cold. To be fair, don't have many genuine Thai friends, but I pit them as worthy as my childhood ones, which are doing their own thing and have naturally drifted. I've said this before; in all the years in visiting Thailand and the times I've been stuck, I've never experienced such generosity of spirit and there is nowhere else I'd rather be when in a jam.

Agree. When Thai men are sober, they cannot do enough for you, but when alcohol is taken, they seem to change quite dramatically.

 

I am not talking about the usual difference experienced when many people drink, but a complete transformation. Strange looks, aggressive behavior, and a general dislike for you, even though they are completely different people when sober. It is strange.

 

I'll just stick with my own company for now, although I do miss male camaraderie. ????

[thequietman]

19 hours ago, Ireland32 said:

4 all police 

So, yer not fussy then, when it comes to friends. ????

[pineapple01]

Never given the Topic much thought. Thais i like seem to give the Thais i dont like either the same wide berth.. Never had any anti ferang ,except my own dislike of YOUNG ferang Teachers here that i never hide even too their face.

[Ron jeremy]

On July 1, 2020 at 2:17 AM, mike787 said:

Many and all so sweet.????

Average at best, like most . Nothing that rocks my boat, and they probably all want 3 k, not a chance.6s maybe 6.5 not even a 7 in the crowd.

should have got a different pic.

[pineapple01]

29 minutes ago, thequietman said:

So, yer not fussy then, when it comes to friends. ????

Its because they arrest him every week. 

[JAFO]

9 hours ago, mike787 said:

MANY to choose from and ALL make me smile.

Man. Not one of them looks appealing or would even get a glance from me. Of course each of us has different standards.

 

 

[smutcakes]

3 minutes ago, JAFO said:

Man. Not one of them looks appealing or would even get a glance from me. Of course each of us has different standards.

 

 

None of them look great, but would still be up them like a rat up a drain pipe.