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how do you tell a thai girlfriend i don't want her 18 year son living with us

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10 hours ago, ChipButty said:

Get a new Girlfriend with no kids

Can't argue.  The Thai girlfriend I had before meeting my wife wasn't entirely honest with me before we met but soon became apparent that she did have a son when it was made clear from the outset that I won't accept any strings under any circumstances.  Nothing personal but glad I stuck to my guns.  

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We have a family home, every member of the family knows there will always be a welcome and a bed for them if they leave but need to return. For me it is the least you can do to provide security for your children, safe in the knowledge they always have somewhere to go. Also extends on a slightly less permanent basis to siblings and if necessary their children. All part of being a close family.

He may be 18 but if you are from the West you should know 18 is young to leave home there and here a kid of 18 on his own knows next to nothing. You knew the deal 3 years ago so stop quitting and figure out a plan for this kid or just be a quitter. I am sure that will make you happy. If not, be a man and deal with the issue the smart way. 15 year olds are harder to deal with than 18 year olds it could get better. 

 

 

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She might hit you with the "no sonny, no honey" routine if you lean too hard on the situation but

the kid is not the elephant in the room that you don't want to talk about. It's the fact that you don't want to be perceived as being the heartless bad guy after getting a bargain   lay-dee  for the last three years.  The kid was an asset that helped keep her in line and closer to you because a lot of guys would have passed on that cloudy relationship for clearer skies. The truth is that this is what you signed up for when you were all starry eyed and gaga in love THREE years ago. Probably in her mind, nothing has changed except the pages on the calendar.  Assuming the typical age difference between Thai-girlfriend and Foreign-boyfriend, taking on responsibility for that kid was one hell of an asset for you to be able to bang her condom free, bar-fine free, marriage free, dead buffalo free etc... for three years running.....Could you have done this as easily in the country you were living in before Thailand ?.

Putting him on the street in this economic downturn is just about as cruel as you think it is. Turning to strangers on a forum to help you turn your back on them is not the easy way out.   He's 18 now ? Start prepping him for the real world.

"You get a job I'll help with the rent" 100s of places available @ 5000bht/month or less. "You go to trade school I'll help with the tuition..."   "You stay here watching T.V. all day and drinking with your friends, maybe one day you come home and the place is empty"  …...At least give him a few more years until the Army option becomes available. 

 

Strictly speaking, until her son reaches the age of 20, he is not an adult and is her responsibility. By law he should live with her, not go to bars and be home at 10P.M. for safety. I suggest you get a new girlfriend.

4 minutes ago, Estrada said:

Strictly speaking, until her son reaches the age of 20, he is not an adult and is her responsibility. By law he should live with her, not go to bars and be home at 10P.M. for safety. I suggest you get a new girlfriend.

are you sure its her son and not her toy boy?

I remember a friend of mine some years ago bought a nice small 2 bedroom villa with a pool for him his wife and her daughter but it seemed like every other week some other member of the extended family would move in where it got to the point he couldn't have a <deleted> in peace and they just took over nowhere to sit in the lounge the wifes so called nephew changed all the channels on the TV to thai come home from the bar at night and the grand mother would be lying on the floor chewing tobacco and gobbing it out up the wall, this was like a bunch of hillbillies had moved in, they were slowly trashing the house the back garden looked like scrap yard, Im afraid it didnt end well the wife sided with the family not her husband who paid for the house,

21 minutes ago, Estrada said:

Strictly speaking, until her son reaches the age of 20, he is not an adult and is her responsibility. By law he should live with her, not go to bars and be home at 10P.M. for safety. I suggest you get a new girlfriend.

Here's me thinking it was the age of 40

10 hours ago, johnray said:

Asian's don't throw away family like Americans/Brits do.  The family unit stays close.  You care for kids, your neighbors kids because the Dad's in prison, the girlfriend's cousin's underage pregnancy kids, the drug addict brother and a bunch of old people.

 

It's actually a disgusting thing to even mention throwing out the 18-year-old.

 

Most Thai houses I've seen have 6 generations living in them.  From the old people to newborn kids from a 14 year old.

sarcasm is not so easily understood by many of the stalwart denizens of TV.     

 

15 minutes ago, ChipButty said:

I remember a friend of mine some years ago bought a nice small 2 bedroom villa with a pool for him his wife and her daughter but it seemed like every other week some other member of the extended family would move in where it got to the point he couldn't have a <deleted> in peace and they just took over nowhere to sit in the lounge the wifes so called nephew changed all the channels on the TV to thai come home from the bar at night and the grand mother would be lying on the floor chewing tobacco and gobbing it out up the wall, this was like a bunch of hillbillies had moved in, they were slowly trashing the house the back garden looked like scrap yard, Im afraid it didnt end well the wife sided with the family not her husband who paid for the house,

you should find better friends .

15 hours ago, Sundown said:

ฉันไม่ต้องการให้ลูกชายอายุ 18 ปีของคุณอาศัยอยู่กับเรา

Google translate work better if you actually know Thai..........

16 hours ago, steven100 said:

is he lazy .

You probably know the answer to that so why asking? Is he spoiled? Is he addicted to games, does he drink? etc etc. Does he ask money and terrorise his mom.

 

Years ago in Ottawa Canada a young lady aged 16 years of age came home from school one day.

The house was locked and then she noticed a For Sale sign on the lawn. A note was found telling her "Good Bye and Good Luck"

17 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Could be worse ...... could be her brother living with you.

You mean the brother or the "Brother"?

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17 hours ago, 2 is 1 said:

Depens your status against your GF! You know there is not even one Thai woman who want to be only GF!

BE MAN IN HOUSE! That what Thai woman want MAN!

You havent seen how Thai women twist their men around their fingers do you? I have seen how strong thai women is both in more rural areas, to more civilized places. Good luck I say. If you failed in your homecountry to be a man, you will fail big time here to! 

You usually get what you deserve ... just saying .....????. Up to you ????

18 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Could be worse ...... could be her brother living with you.

Next time the GF/wife introduces you to her "brother" use this slang:
Pee nahng thawng chon gan chai mai (พี่น้องท้องชนกันใช่ไหม)
Brother and sister whose bellys collide together, right?

2 minutes ago, kingofthemountain said:

Nope

most of TV members are here for the temples and the food

(Edit confirmed by the post above)

There are other things to do in life, apart from having sex , eating food and visiting Temples

1 minute ago, CorpusChristie said:

There are other things to do in life, apart from having sex , eating food and visiting Temples

Yep

i enjoy go to the beach too

Probably not her son but Thai boyfriend or husband. So ,of course, she doesn't want him to leave.

20 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

Encourage the 18y/o son to get a girlfriend - flirt with her... 

..... your GF will take care of the rest !

No! All wrong. Flirt with HIM ! ???? 

2 hours ago, CorpusChristie said:

There are other things to do in life, apart from having sex , eating food and visiting Temples

I not visiting Temples, honestly, a lot of sex, beach, sun every day what more do you want in life?

21 hours ago, Sundown said:

Yes the old Brother story is almost epic like the buffalo.

My dear friend told me he went at this Thai girl house (not bar girl) and they were going to get in bed then he goes "but, I don't have a condom" so she goes and pulls one from the drawer and he's like "oh you always keep condoms ready?" And she is like "no, it's my brother's!!!!"

But she didn't tell him it was already used......

 

I been in this situation too and you probably did the right thing when you told her your feelings. Also I think you should feel right about refusing to allow him to live with you.  Tell her it would be a good thing for him to make a life of his own. He is an adult after all. 

Good luck either way.

Maybe I'm the only one who thinks like this, but I find it hard to ask a mother to throw her 18 year old son out on the street.
  OP accepted a relationship with a woman who already had a 15 year old son, I wonder what people would think of it in a western country, what opinion they would have of the man, ah sorry I forgot we are in Thailand, the woman is a piece of flesh.

And I add if he was a few years older I would have closed my mouth
 

Your son is 18 now. Time for him to strike out on his own. OK? In agreement? Good. Disagree? OK, you can continue living with your son. On your own. You can both leave. Within the next 72 hours. Can I help you pack? 

He's lived with you 3 years , which implies you have had the same g/f for longer. Seems to really be taking your time of marriage proposal

Rent a cheap condo for him? Or getting yourself a new condo and let her visit you ????

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