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Can you live independently?

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5 minutes ago, kingstonkid said:

 

 

Take a look at the 74 year old Brit in Hospital 

But for the hand of god that could be one of us and I can tell  you life is better in a Thai hospital upscale or downscale if you have someone to help look after you.

It's quite likely a wife or girlfriend will be gone by the time you really need them to physically look after you. May be better to prepare for a live in help nearer the time, pay her a wage, budget for it in your remaining years

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  • HappyExpat57
    HappyExpat57

    I had a Thai GF about 12 years ago. We tried it for a year, then she started pressuring me to marry her. I could see that was going to end up a disaster, so we parted ways on very good terms, and when

  • I know of a couple of old codgers living alone in Phuket (I recall one may have died recently). They hired housekeepers to clean, shop etc, but were not in a  relationship. The girls were happy, had w

  • scubascuba3
    scubascuba3

    I enjoy living alone, i see different girls, some as just friends, others as short times..works for me, I don't want or need a fake girlfriend to drag round with me and feed all the time and I'm not l

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On 9/1/2021 at 12:24 PM, scubascuba3 said:

I enjoy living alone, i see different girls, some as just friends, others as short times..works for me, I don't want or need a fake girlfriend to drag round with me and feed all the time and I'm not looking for a proper relationship leading to marriage, which is what most girls are looking for

I agree, With a lot of GF's that I have they try to move in slowly. A shirt here a jacket there even their underwear ends up in my draw. And they are always smelling my cloths for other GF's. Yes living a lone is good but sometimes hard.

I have a live in a

Thai housekeeper who takes very good care of me I pay her every week she can come and go as she please as I’m writing she has gone off to do some fishing I don’t go with her because she hauls them in left right and centre and I catch sweet FA .I don’t class her as my GF although she might think different I’m 70 she’s 42 and although she can have her moody moments most of the time she is very caring and a brilliant cook. Could I live without her of course I would just find another housekeeper the only criteria i ask is no children those days are well and truly over for me 

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7 minutes ago, vandeventer said:

I agree, With a lot of GF's that I have they try to move in slowly. A shirt here a jacket there even their underwear ends up in my draw. And they are always smelling my cloths for other GF's. Yes living a lone is good but sometimes hard.

Yes that is funny, I've had girls plant their clothes at mine, one very nice 19yo agogo girl planted her dress like a flag on the moon.

 

They ask can i move in for a few days, i say ok, a month later I've had enough and ask them to leave

56 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

It's quite likely a wife or girlfriend will be gone by the time you really need them to physically look after you. May be better to prepare for a live in help nearer the time, pay her a wage, budget for it in your remaining years

Sounds like you don't have them stick around anyway. Rather a broad brush stroke to paint others into the same corner.

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Never married no wife and no kids at 50. Very happy living solo and get no grief.

Have a “friend” that i can meet for dinner and take out as she is self sufficient perfect English and doesn’t want a full time relationship either.

They are out there!

Tried the live in thing and it doesn’t work for me…I’m too selfish and know / admit to it.

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22 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

this is what the real question is though for all of you who responded that your happy by yourself...The fear I think as you age is "what happens if..

Ok, so all male answers here so I’ll give my penny worth. I’ve been single since about the age of 50. I’m now 68, had a very good life, and enjoy my “ individual “ life. I think it has a lot to do about being dependant  on someone. If you need a person, because of finance , living a more comfortable life, or passion, then obviously you’re going to look for a live in mate. I have a very unhappy friend who stays with her husband as it would mean living in a smaller apartment and having less spending money.  I’m very happy as I am, go out daily for walks, swim, see friends, i have interests that occupy me, I go to restaurants, and travel a lot around the world. I made sure I saved enough through my long working years to be able to do this.  I have a cleaning lady once a week to do the heavier stuff, and if need be one day , then I’d have someone to do a shop, as well.  It’s just knowing what you want to do with your life. Then do it. 

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but its ok to live independent and be alone , just tell me WHO will be by your side if you are in hospital?  who cares for you enough ?

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1 minute ago, georgegeorgia said:

but its ok to live independent and be alone , just tell me WHO will be by your side if you are in hospital?  who cares for you enough ?

The hospital staff. 

I'm alone now in Thailand for nearly 6 months because of covid,  can't go home for weekends & hating it.  There was an earlier time of life when I enjoyed living alone but as we age it all changes. I sometimes worry about being alone now.  I just wish to go home when I want to,  covids a bitch! 

1 hour ago, 473geo said:

Sounds like you don't have them stick around anyway. Rather a broad brush stroke to paint others into the same corner.

I've heard so many stories of divorce, breakups, secret thai boyfriends, just a bit naive to think a thai lady will necessarily be there when you come to needing her

I truly believe, that as a person gets older , and is more confident about who they are, and what they are, it is so easy to live alone without the baggage that others often carry with them.

If some company is needed from time to time, its easy in Thailand, whereas in the Western World its not so easy to be able to just enjoy some company for a Day or Two without huge complications.

13 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

I've heard so many stories of divorce, breakups, secret thai boyfriends, just a bit naive to think a thai lady will necessarily be there when you come to needing her

Well I guess it depends if you are good at handling women, in this case Thai women. A skill that apparently is frequently over estimated in the self appraisal of the suitors.

Wouldn't call it naive to be one of the more accomplished and confident.

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I've always been a loner and happy to go my own way. But I do love female company.

 

I've met too many eccentrics. Single men and woman in their 50s, who have never married, and who would be unable to compromise their day to day routines even if the perfect partner came along. If I was alone I worry a little bit that I would become weird, reclusive and even more anti-social.

 

My wife, like most Thai women, makes friends easily and has a wide social network. Part of the reason I married her is because she forces me to get out more and meet people, which I suspect is a good thing for me

On 9/1/2021 at 12:18 PM, HappyExpat57 said:

I had a Thai GF about 12 years ago. We tried it for a year, then she started pressuring me to marry her. I could see that was going to end up a disaster, so we parted ways on very good terms, and when we bump into each other, we drop whatever we're doing, go for a coffee and catch up.

I'm in my mid-60's and have a very comfortable lifestyle in a 2 bedroom condo that has an ocean view. With a decent pension, I will never be rich, but If I want to buy a new motorbike, it's not a dear purchase. I do miss the trips to the soapy massage parlors, or the occasional pub crawl winding up with a temporary friend, but at this point in my life I could never imagine living with anyone again.

Certainly the post, so far, which I most closely relate to.

 

I have been alone for most of my adult life, but have had some great fulfillong relationships over the years..

 

I met a wonderful slightly younger Thai woman here, and we had a supportive relationship over 5 years.  But, although the financial "demands" of her children were not excessive, the growing pressure to get married, as well as buy a new house for her and her family (preferably close to the beach), and a few other issues and demands became too much.

 

I am in my late 60s now and have some health issues - I can still do the gardening, housework, cook for myself, etc., although these are a struggle some days  But some things are becoming more difficult to do around the house by myself.  My pension allows me to live a comfortable, but not luxury, life here.; and I have enough in the bank in Australia to buy a new Honda or Toyota car, if the time comes, and a modest small house here, if I can find a good one in a nice quiet area.

 

The time will come, in the next few years, when I will have to employ someone to do the housework, cooking, etc. for me; and to drive me around as my eyesight declines..

3 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

It's quite likely a wife or girlfriend will be gone by the time you really need them to physically look after you. May be better to prepare for a live in help nearer the time, pay her a wage, budget for it in your remaining years

That is very cynical.

 

MY GF was there beside me the whole way. remember for most of them the prize is what you leave behind in your will.

55 minutes ago, 473geo said:
1 hour ago, scubascuba3 said:

I've heard so many stories of divorce, breakups, secret thai boyfriends, just a bit naive to think a thai lady will necessarily be there when you come to needing her

Well I guess it depends if you are good at handling women, in this case Thai women. A skill that apparently is frequently over estimated in the self appraisal of the suitors.

Wouldn't call it naive to be one of the more accomplished and confident.

Thai women are very easy to understand if you leave your own ego out of the equation. They are fiercely loyal to their family, the old guy who supplies the money that enhances all their lives will be looked after well as long as the money is flowing. (Not really much different to back home)

The secret is to have financial reserves, or a widow's pension, that she doesn't get unless she stays to the end.

 

Footnote: This is a generalization, not all fit this description, certainly not mine! 

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I am 80, happiliy married to my Thai wife, aged 65, since 1990. Should she die before me I will struggle but I will do my best to keep going. 

1 hour ago, 473geo said:

Well I guess it depends if you are good at handling women, in this case Thai women. A skill that apparently is frequently over estimated in the self appraisal of the suitors.

Wouldn't call it naive to be one of the more accomplished and confident.

Don't worry about me, i have to fight them off

52 minutes ago, kingstonkid said:

That is very cynical.

 

MY GF was there beside me the whole way. remember for most of them the prize is what you leave behind in your will.

Exactly they are playing the long game, depends if there is a pot of gold at the end

15 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Don't worry about me, i have to fight them off

I find your comments rather amusing, not cause for concern ????

3 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

but its ok to live independent and be alone , just tell me WHO will be by your side if you are in hospital?  who cares for you enough ?

No one.

3 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

The hospital staff. 

Sorry, but hospital staff are far too busy to sit by you and hold your hand, unless you can afford one of those super expensive private hospitals. In London when doing agency I once worked in the hospital where all the lords and ladies went. Spent a day in ICU looking after one patient and there were two of us! However in the real world where most people live, nurses have many patients to look after.

Most of the men answering khun George Georgia questions very much enjoyed living alone.  And I'm also one of them.  But I think the question he is most interested in so not the joy living by one's self but what happens to old guys living on their own and become debilitated; stoke, cancer or other bad things. If one can't take care of ones self anymore who will take care of them? I'm  74 and often have the same thoughts . Wish I knew the answer.

 

2 hours ago, bert bloggs said:

I have never really lived alone in all my life,i dont fancy starting now

I'm the opposite. I've lived alone most of my life, so being alone now is my "normal".

1 minute ago, George Michael said:

Most of the men answering khun George Georgia questions very much enjoyed living alone.  And I'm also one of them.  But I think the question he is most interested in so not the joy living by one's self but what happens to old guys living on their own and become debilitated; stoke, cancer or other bad things. If one can't take care of ones self anymore who will take care of them? I'm  74 and often have the same thoughts . Wish I knew the answer.

 

In Thailand if one has money one can hire people to be companions out of and in hospital. In the west, one is likely to be cared for by overworked and underpaid nurses and IMO poorly trained "assistants".

3 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

I've heard so many stories of divorce, breakups, secret thai boyfriends, just a bit naive to think a thai lady will necessarily be there when you come to needing her

I very much doubt that my Thai wife would have been there for me had I needed care while we were married. The day I realised that was the beginning of the end of the marriage.

On 9/1/2021 at 12:52 PM, RichardColeman said:

As an only child, being on my own if preferable sometimes - though don't tell the wife. 

 

Been stuck in Blackpool, UK now for 16 months on own, not a problem. Keep interests in things, enjoy your timeout and shopping.  A beer and the NCAAF or a movie and I'm all set.

dark nights /days upon you soon     its bleak        Im single huge house   rented  cleaner etc     sauna morns   swim big pool later   massage afternoon,bit of the other time to time   Its OK

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Not often I read such a thoughtful, interesting thread on Thai Visa - oops - Aseannow.

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