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sin sod or not she was already married


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Meet the family. See how you like them. Relations and family can be quite important.

 

No need to discuss money. I am simply meeting you people and qualifying you, as I am with your daughter. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe never. And if so, likely you won't see much cash out of me. She is 50 and divorced. Was I born yesterday? 

Edited by spidermike007
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1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

And call themselves farang .......... cos they're ting tong ........

Or worse, they call other foreigners "falang" in a derogatory way, as if they aren't one.

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Just now, The Hammer2021 said:

Such phrases exist in all languages and are recognised as a form of 'interlangyage'

Sure, but ...........

If you start calling people by their skin colour in the UK, you get beaten or jailed, probably both.

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1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

Sure, but ...........

If you start calling people by their skin colour in the UK, you get beaten or jailed, probably both.

That does  not cause me a problem as it is such a rare occurrence.  Tan, yellow, khaki? Nobody  describes people  by their skin colour except using the term black which is acceptable- at least to  my black friends..

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21 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Was 30 years with my Brit wife before she grabbed for everything.

As they say in the adverts, previous returns are no guarantee of future ROI.

They can strip you bare after 30 days or 30 years, you can't trust women.

I had a friend that waited 26 years to scam me out of a year's income.

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Guest Isaanlife
On 1/27/2022 at 10:06 AM, Kenny202 said:

All of the newbs here including myself probably got done in one way or another, picking the low hanging fruit. And its like anything if it seems too good to be true it probably is. But I just don't think many understand the depth of lies and deceit that can go on here. And BTW, a non bar girl is no guarantee of a successful relationship or a faithful wife. I would say you would have a much better chance with an educated older lady with a good job of course ..... but I have seen heaps of relationships to straight older women go south in as bad as any bar girl. Probably because the guy was less wary. I know a few guys here in long relationships but I couldn't say any were happy. They are toughing it out because they don't have any choice. The house is in her name or on the mother in laws land. 

Does it really matter whose name it is?

 

I have everything in my wife's name, and really never give it a second thought.

 

I am just not that insecure.

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Guest Isaanlife
22 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Was 30 years with my Brit wife before she grabbed for everything.

As they say in the adverts, previous returns are no guarantee of future ROI.

They can strip you bare after 30 days or 30 years, you can't trust women.

Takes two to Tango!

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On 1/27/2022 at 6:25 AM, Kenny202 said:

I have never met one that thought she was lucky to get a better life and a caring husband unless it was a Hollywood lifestyle where she was showered in real estate and gold. I honestly think they believe they are downgrading getting a farang and expect to be renumerated for it. Different story if its an old guy and a sexy young girl, and more power to you if you can afford it but an older lady that is probably bringing nothing to the table apart from a lot of baggage and future problems....nup. have some self respect / self worth and have some expectations of your own. After you have lived here some time you will reallise there is a queue of women 30-50yo wanting to meet you from Chiang Mai to Bangkok. If it doesn't work out...nnnnext. If she seems like a nice woman give her a try. But dont commit to anything and don't invest any more than you would in a GF back home, particularly at the start. And I wouldn't automatically fire her just because she asks for money. Her friends (who have never even spoken to a farang) will be coaching her on what to expect and egging her on. Set her straight and give her one chance. The real test comes later when her jealous friends are asking where is her gold and new Louis bag? And why haven't you built her a home? Its all about face, showing off, embarrassment. Which monkey has the most bananas. If shes strong enough to push all that off and be realistic u may be on a winner 

Excellent! True, True and more true! The girls, ladies, Gf's and wives all have great external pressure from family and friends. Yes, if she is strong enough to overcome/overlook then you may have found a winner no matter her age.

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On 1/27/2022 at 6:29 PM, Neeranam said:

Why would anyone want to marry a 50 year old?

In my view, getting married is only for the sake of the kids. 

 

 

Neeram  Better than marrying a 25 year old.

 

There are a couple of reasons to get married.

Getting married gives her some peace of mind that I am not going to do a runner.

Most important though is if the rules change for retirement visa I have another out for a long term visa extension.

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On 1/27/2022 at 6:30 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

Great! She does not want to introduce you to her family. You can't have it better than that!

Most of us are more or less forced to see the family, including all those consequences.

 

Enjoy your life without the family!

I do I do LOL

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On 1/27/2022 at 7:36 PM, KhaoYai said:

This a pile of buffalo do do.  You need to get out of this relationship - its the usual farang ATM scenario.  You don't pay money to meet the family - in this outdated facet of Thai culture, you are supposed to negotiate Sin Sot with her mother or the next in line family elder.  How you would do that without meeting them, I know not.  If she's talking about money at this stage, I think you know what to do, you don't need to ask here.

She is not talking about money she has warned me that they will want money.  

 

As anyone here that reads my questions I ask because I am wililng to admit there are not things that I am an expert at.  While I would not come here for financial medical or legal advice.  There are a lot of people that have been arund here longer than me that hove the cultural advice.

 

Also there are a lot of people that  have the immigration system understood. 

 

Those I accept advice from.

 

Before I tell a person that they are full of <deleted> I want to know if they are or are not.  

 

At no time has she asked for money.  Again she has kept the family away from me she says because they would want money.  

I ahve already seem them do it to her for money she has made at Lazada.

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The only good reason for marriage is to be legal father of kids, not just on birth cert. Bad reasons include companionship or someone to hold their hand. As far as visa is concerned either you pony up 400K or 800K, what's the big difference.

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Just now, EVENKEEL said:

The only good reason for marriage is to be legal father of kids, not just on birth cert. Bad reasons include companionship or someone to hold their hand. As far as visa is concerned either you pony up 400K or 800K, what's the big difference.

To a lot of Thai ladies it is a big difference.  Most want to live  in a marriage not in sin. LOL

 

To me it means very little except the difference of 400K baht and the ability to extend if needed.

 

That is really the only reason that I wuld get married.

 

Then again why do old people in the UK AUS and Canada get married.

 

Why get married at all if you are not going to have kids.

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21 minutes ago, kingstonkid said:

To a lot of Thai ladies it is a big difference.  Most want to live  in a marriage not in sin. LOL

 

To me it means very little except the difference of 400K baht and the ability to extend if needed.

 

That is really the only reason that I wuld get married.

 

Then again why do old people in the UK AUS and Canada get married.

 

Why get married at all if you are not going to have kids.

So you are getting married for her benefit. No need for dowry. If you care for here feeling, then give it but make sure you get it back. Are her parents still alive?

Edited by Neeranam
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5 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

So you are getting married for her benefit. No need for dowry. If you care for here feeling, then give it but make sure you get it back. Are her parents still alive?

Yeah barely both are in in ill health that is why the family is always after her for money to look after mom and dad.  

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7 minutes ago, kingstonkid said:

Yeah barely both are in in ill health that is why the family is always after her for money to look after mom and dad.  

Well good luck. Have you discussed the issue of dowry with her? Communication/honesty is the most important thing in Thai/farang relationships, IMHO.

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On 1/27/2022 at 10:57 PM, djayz said:

I think the question you should be asking yourself is "Do I want to/Can I spend the rest of my life with this woman?". If the answer is yes, then just accept her as she is and explain your position on sin sod. Then, she needs to decide if she can/wants to spend the rest of her life with you - sin sod or no sin sod. If the answer is yes, then enjoy the rest of your lives together. If the answer is no, then part now and move on. There are lots of good, kind, loyal women here who are looking for somebody good to grow old with - contrary to what a lot of the women experts here will tell you. 

At 50, she needs to make decisions for herself, not have family members make them for her. In a relationship, both sides must respect each other, their opinions and, in interracial relationships, each others customs to a certain degree. It has to be a fair mix of what YOU want and what SHE wants. Make it very clear what you are and are not willing to do, accept, pay and how much/little you want her family meddling in your affairs. 

I made this very clear to my missus 16 years ago and I haven't looked back since then. 

Good luck! 

You must be captain of your own course. 

Op, please don't tell me she's also discussed costs of her give birth to few kids as well, all paid for upfront

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On 1/28/2022 at 12:13 AM, KhaoYai said:

Simply going by his original statement.  If she's warning him that her family will want money, hat's off to her but that's not how I read his OP.

It could be reverse reverse psychology?

 

Don't trust my family about money, so give it to me!

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On 1/27/2022 at 5:59 PM, kingstonkid said:

Second reason is that family will want sinsod.  she is over 50 and been married before which to me makes her  Mia Maiy e So no dowery is needed.  Is this correct?

🤣

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On 1/27/2022 at 6:29 PM, Neeranam said:

Why would anyone want to marry a 50 year old?

In my view, getting married is only for the sake of the kids. 

 

 

To an 80+ male it might seem tempting before departing.

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On 1/27/2022 at 6:14 PM, petermik said:

At 50+ she is long past her sell on date...wonderful person she may be but not worth paying any money for.....turn the tables and ask "how much you give me if I take care of her" LOL

Ha! Yes … cultural differences are great. I enjoyed explaining to my first Thai, permanent, long term partner that there is a bit of difference between Thai SinnSot tradition and the western tradition. Afterall, cultural expectations should be treated equally. The shock she expressed as I explained that as a westerner I would expect a dowry paid by her family if they expected a Sin Sot from me. Priceless … as it turned out, I paid for the village reception food and drink and everything was fine. I had explained I hard several books on Thai tradition, history and society before retiring here. She was older, had two Daughters already and so … no Sin Sot by Thai tradition. Yes, she was given a monthly stipend but that was my decision.

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On 1/27/2022 at 6:29 PM, Neeranam said:

Why would anyone want to marry a 50 year old?

In my view, getting married is only for the sake of the kids. 

 

 

Granted you are entitled to your opinion. Retiring at age 64 1/2, I was out of any desire to create babies. In less than a year of playing, I found tha I wanted to have a partner o travel with, make love to, even to go to Big C with. To each their own. Knock on wood … I am a very happy camper with a Thai wife and her Daughter.

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On 1/27/2022 at 7:11 PM, The Hammer2021 said:

Smart men marry orphans

Upon retiring here, my thought was that the best scenario would be a gorgeous barren orphan!

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