Hmm …

[wwest5829]

Just a couple of thoughts to share. I have observed that if one finds a traditionally raised Thai girl (allowing here that Thai females can generally be referred to as girls) … it is much like stepping back into the 1950s as regards sexual roles. That I’d Mom took care of home, children and looking after her man. Dad was expected to provide the financial security (in my case, Dad worked 2, sometimes 3 jobs while my Brother and I were growing up). I suppose the economic status of the general female population in Thailand plays heavy into this … personally, being an Expat retiree the roles are quite comfortable. My ex wife in the US had a sign on her desk that read, “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle”. That speaks volumes about the outlet of far too many western females. My ex, at one point also accused me of viewing her as a sex object … I retorted that, yes, I was married to her because she was female and that a critical consideration was that we were physical lovers … ah, well. I wi#h her well but after 27 years … Thai wife for me. Yes, I am well aware of the history of discrimination and role stereotyping but … If I am understanding many divorced western males here … Thai females are preferred as the western roles are not as conducive to warm sexual relationships. Flame away but I think there is a good deal of reality here.

[Hummin]

A little bit of both worlds, yes, thank you! 

 

Most Thai women stay because they have to, and are not independent enough to trust themselves to make it without a man. Then you have loss of face, failure, etc.

 

On the other hand, girls who have higher social rank, wealthy family, who have education, no previous history of being married or have kids, being valued more than other girls, and then you face cultural differences as sin sod.

 

Maybe most of foreigners are married to what Thai see as second or third class women? Even some poorer families see their girls as higher value and therefore claim a higher price when sin sod is discussed.

 

Some say sin sod is history, but throughout the country, the tradition is highly alive and practiced among locals and for many foreigners.

 

Is that to take it to far? 

 

Of course the girls want to stay home take care of you, you take care of her, it's only fair. 

[EVENKEEL]

13 minutes ago, Hummin said:

A little bit of both worlds, yes, thank you! 

 

Most Thai women stay because they have to, and are not independent enough to trust themselves to make it without a man. Then you have loss of face, failure, etc.

 

On the other hand, girls who have higher social rank, wealthy family, who have education, no previous history of being married or have kids, being valued more than other girls, and then you face cultural differences as sin sod.

 

Maybe most of foreigners are married to what Thai see as second or third class women? Even some poorer families see their girls as higher value and therefore claim a higher price when sin sod is discussed.

 

Some say sin sod is history, but throughout the country, the tradition is highly alive and practiced among locals and for many foreigners.

 

Is that to take it to far? 

 

Of course the girls want to stay home take care of you, you take care of her, it's only fair. 

Mine wants to gamble and get p#$ed.

[hotandsticky]

6 minutes ago, EVENKEEL said:

Mine wants to gamble and get p#$ed.

 

 

I think I have met her.........................

[1FinickyOne]

There is an interesting reality of a matriarchal society here. 

 

 

[wwest5829]

52 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

There is an interesting reality of a matriarchal society here. 

 

 

What was it I was taught? Ah, yes … Thailand is a male dominated country … directed by females”. A lot of truth there, methinks.

[Kenny202]

Mine wants to gamble and get p#$ed

 

????

Probably one of the most honest comments and more accurate pictures of life with a Thai woman I have seen for a very long time lol. "Traditional" Thai woman? And I assume we are talking lower class village style girls...I think they have possibly long gone. Most I have met are inherently lazy, don't cook or clean and lucky to be able to look after themselves let alone their man lol. Bad tempered, selfish, ignorant and childish.....and as a bonus super poor communication / relationship skills. But as they usually take their sexual duties if nothing else very seriously, all can be forgiven ????

 

Edited February 18, 2022 by Kenny202

[Hummin]

Must be hard to aknownledge, not even An Asian woman living up to your expectations. 
 

Everyone else is lying, 

[Mavideol]

30 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

Mine wants to gamble and get p#$ed

 

????

Probably one of the most honest comments and more accurate pictures of life with a Thai woman I have seen for a very long time lol. "Traditional" Thai woman? And I assume we are talking lower class village style girls...I think they have possibly long gone. Most I have met are inherently lazy, don't cook or clean and lucky to be able to look after themselves let alone their man lol. Bad tempered, selfish, ignorant and childish.....and as a bonus super poor communication / relationship skills. But as they usually take their sexual duties if nothing else very seriously, all can be forgiven ????

 

agree with almost all of your post but the last paragraph, that (unfortunately) doesn't apply to all of them, sometimes they use their sexual duties to blackmail  or to extort/ negotiate other favors    555

Edited February 18, 2022 by Mavideol

[Will B Good]

28 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

Mine wants to gamble and get p#$ed

 

????

Probably one of the most honest comments and more accurate pictures of life with a Thai woman I have seen for a very long time lol. "Traditional" Thai woman? And I assume we are talking lower class village style girls...I think they have possibly long gone. Most I have met are inherently lazy, don't cook or clean and lucky to be able to look after themselves let alone their man lol. Bad tempered, selfish, ignorant and childish.....and as a bonus super poor communication / relationship skills. But as they usually take their sexual duties if nothing else very seriously, all can be forgiven ????

 

I would have to confess I have been incredibly lucky.

 

My wife (26 years younger) does absolutely everything, works hard, is a perfectionist and......hard to believe I know......  she has just bought/built a modern, three bed detached house for us to live in.....all her own money.

 

 

[Mavideol]

1 minute ago, Will B Good said:

I would have to confess I have been incredibly lucky.

 

My wife (26 years younger) does absolutely everything, works hard, is a perfectionist and......hard to believe I know......  she has just bought/built a modern, three bed detached house for us to live in.....all her own money.

 

 

you won the lottery  555

[OneMoreFarang]

I think it is always funny when people talk about Thai girls or Thai women. Does anybody really believe they are all the same?

Long time ago when I arrived in Thailand I waned the cute young pretty sexy innocent girl as my girlfriend. The easiest way to meet a girl were obviously the bars. So I had a look in the bars. In many bars and at many girls. After a few months I found one according to my taste. She was fun but it didn't work out so we finished our relationship after a few months.

Then I did some more research with many girls in many places. And finally I found the one. Like: Wow, she is the one.

I am still together with her.

Is she similar to other Thai girls? Yes

Is she also different in many ways? Sure, my one is different.

 

And my point is it took me some time and some patience and lots of research to find the perfect girl for me.

If our relationship will ever end for whatever reason I am pretty sure I will find another one. But I am also sure it will take a long time and lots of research to find the right one.

 

Guys who arrive here and stay together with a girl who they met when they just arrived are option 1 very lucky or option 2: they didn't take their time to evaluate other, maybe better, options.

[richard_smith237]

5 hours ago, wwest5829 said:

If I am understanding many divorced western males here … Thai females are preferred as the western roles are not as conducive to warm sexual relationships. Flame away but I think there is a good deal of reality here.

Well of course... IF you ask any male who divorced from his previous Western Wife and is now married to a Thai we’re not really expecting to receive the response that ‘western women are better’ are we ??? 

 

The questions and answers are extremely loaded from the offset due the very nature of the environment we find ourselves in. 

 

I for one know many Western Friends in Thailand in very happy relationships, I know many Western Friends in the UK in very happy relationships.

 

It’s not really a function of where we are but who we are and we (yes us males) play a significant roll in the success of any relationship - the difference is perhaps that here there are far more males who’s behaviour would not be tolerated by females with better options. 

 

 

[Kenny202]

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I think it is always funny when people talk about Thai girls or Thai women. Does anybody really believe they are all the same?

Long time ago when I arrived in Thailand I waned the cute young pretty sexy innocent girl as my girlfriend. The easiest way to meet a girl were obviously the bars. So I had a look in the bars. In many bars and at many girls. After a few months I found one according to my taste. She was fun but it didn't work out so we finished our relationship after a few months.

Then I did some more research with many girls in many places. And finally I found the one. Like: Wow, she is the one.

I am still together with her.

Is she similar to other Thai girls? Yes

Is she also different in many ways? Sure, my one is different.

 

And my point is it took me some time and some patience and lots of research to find the perfect girl for me.

If our relationship will ever end for whatever reason I am pretty sure I will find another one. But I am also sure it will take a long time and lots of research to find the right one.

 

Guys who arrive here and stay together with a girl who they met when they just arrived are option 1 very lucky or option 2: they didn't take their time to evaluate other, maybe better, options.

Agree with you on most of it, and I myself have a girl I am happy with now too, but took some getting there. The things in her I saw I admired the most were honesty and loyalty. But having said that I assume you don't have the house and cars in your girls name? That's where it all seems to go wrong IMO. I have never found any problem finding one that was pleasant etc to live with, but one I would trust enough to put all of my wealth and possessions and indeed my future in her hands, nah, And you must realize living her so long many of these girls can play an amazing long game, no matter how well you know them. Knew of a guy in Australia brought a girl back. Had two kids together. She was working. Lovely family we all thought she was a gem. She went back to Thailand to see her folks and one of our mates walking past the bar she used to work in a guess who was in there. Similar story another bloke 5 years with his Thai wife back home. Everything roses had a couple of kids. Came for a holiday to Thailand he woke up...credit / bank cards were gone as was she and anything in his bank accounts. Never to be seen again. Two guys I know now had to go back home to work again. One 70yo this week and the other near 70. Both had gambling issues with their Mrs. they're not all like that but many are unfortunately.

[stigar]

1 hour ago, Mavideol said:

agree with almost all of your post but the last paragraph, that (unfortunately) doesn't apply to all of them, sometimes they use their sexual duties to blackmail  or to extort/ negotiate other favors    555

Ur rigth.And some girls say if you dont send more money they will go back to the bar and start sell their p....Some foreigners dont undersand they never left the bar.

[OneMoreFarang]

15 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

Agree with you on most of it, and I myself have a girl I am happy with now too, but took some getting there. The things in her I saw I admired the most were honesty and loyalty. But having said that I assume you don't have the house and cars in your girls name? That's where it all seems to go wrong IMO. I have never found any problem finding one that was pleasant etc to live with, but one I would trust enough to put all of my wealth and possessions and indeed my future in her hands, nah, And you must realize living her so long many of these girls can play an amazing long game, no matter how well you know them. Knew of a guy in Australia brought a girl back. Had two kids together. She was working. Lovely family we all thought she was a gem. She went back to Thailand to see her folks and one of our mates walking past the bar she used to work in a guess who was in there. Similar story another bloke 5 years with his Thai wife back home. Everything roses had a couple of kids. Came for a holiday to Thailand he woke up...credit / bank cards were gone as was she and anything in his bank accounts. Never to be seen again. Two guys I know now had to go back home to work again. One 70yo this week and the other near 70. Both had gambling issues with their Mrs. they're not all like that but many are unfortunately.

I don't know how much many girls plan ahead. It seems most of them don't plan ahead more than maximum one month.

Often guy claim something like: She planned it all.

Really?

We and the girls come from different worlds. Many of us assume that the girl knows what we expect and obviously she should behave like that. And the girl have obviously also expectation, a husband behaves like this and that.

But unfortunately often those expectations are miles apart.

Maybe a bar girl marries a guy and expects that they will go out all the time and that he will buy drinks for her friends all the time, just like he did that when then got together. And maybe/possibly he thinks those times are over...

 

It seems lots of girls return to the bars because this is what they like and know. Dance and drink and smoke with the friends, party, get drunk, have fun! And I am pretty sure often that is more fun than staying with the decent but boring husband at home.

 

I worked since forever most of the time at home. For that reason I was most of the time together with my gf. Simply put she didn't have many opportunities to do something and keep without me getting suspicious. When guys leave their girls for days or weeks alone then what do you expect? That she sits at home and watches TV?

[Kenny202]

22 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I don't know how much many girls plan ahead. It seems most of them don't plan ahead more than maximum one month.

Often guy claim something like: She planned it all.

Really?

We and the girls come from different worlds. Many of us assume that the girl knows what we expect and obviously she should behave like that. And the girl have obviously also expectation, a husband behaves like this and that.

But unfortunately often those expectations are miles apart.

Maybe a bar girl marries a guy and expects that they will go out all the time and that he will buy drinks for her friends all the time, just like he did that when then got together. And maybe/possibly he thinks those times are over...

 

It seems lots of girls return to the bars because this is what they like and know. Dance and drink and smoke with the friends, party, get drunk, have fun! And I am pretty sure often that is more fun than staying with the decent but boring husband at home.

 

I worked since forever most of the time at home. For that reason I was most of the time together with my gf. Simply put she didn't have many opportunities to do something and keep without me getting suspicious. When guys leave their girls for days or weeks alone then what do you expect? That she sits at home and watches TV?

I think that's the moral of the story. You have to keep the deck stacked in your favor and watch your back. As another guy said they are with us mostly due to lack of opportunity for something better. It's not for our good looks. You start putting homes, vehicles and your savings in their hands it's more often than not game over

[OneMoreFarang]

30 minutes ago, Kenny202 said:

As another guy said they are with us mostly due to lack of opportunity for something better.

Isn't that a description of many relationships all over the world?

If we could have something better and we would be sure we would keep that something better then why wouldn't we change to something better? And with we I mean all of us. Men, women, Thais, farangs, everybody.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Many of us assume that the girl knows what we expect and obviously she should behave like that. And the girl have obviously also expectation, a husband behaves like this and that.

My girl expects 1,000bht every time I bang her.

That's about it for her expectations.

 

My son expects sausage and chips at lunchtime (or bacon and chips).

He's very easy to please.

 

My rabbits expect frequent snacks of brown bread.

If I don't go out when they feel the time is right, they start chucking their food bowl in the air.

 

I expect 3 bottles of wine cooler every day.

I'm easily pleased.

 

Every living creature has expectations, best to manage them so it's not too expensive.

Edited February 18, 2022 by BritManToo

[Hummin]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

My girl expects 1,000bht every time I bang her.

That's about it for her expectations.

So not to much pocket money every month then for her? Considering low frequency?

[Lacessit]

To me, it's a fairly simple equation. I provide the financial support, my Thai GF "takes care" of what I need from her. It's like life back in the fifties in Australia.

Having said that, there are a few caveats to relationships here.

 

Rule 1. Never put more than you can afford to lose into Thailand.

Rule 2. Keep at least 70% of your assets back in your home country.

Rule 3. Keep control of the finances.

Rule 4. Make sure you are worth more alive than dead.

Rule 5. Set boundaries. I won't loan any money more than 1000 baht. Many Thais treat loans as

              a gift.

 

Seems to be working for me in the 11 years I have been here.

 

 

 

 

[1FinickyOne]

7 hours ago, wwest5829 said:

What was it I was taught? Ah, yes … Thailand is a male dominated country … directed by females”. A lot of truth there, methinks.

yes, male dominated on the hi-so Chinese side that runs the country and owns all the major businesses...

 

in the lower echelon the ladies run the household and finances, the guys drink w/their buddies.. 

[swissie]

On 2/18/2022 at 8:34 AM, wwest5829 said:

What was it I was taught? Ah, yes … Thailand is a male dominated country … directed by females”. A lot of truth there, methinks.

OP said: " it is much like stepping back into the 1950s as regards sexual roles. That I’d Mom took care of home, children and looking after her man. Dad was expected to provide the financial security (in my case, Dad worked 2, sometimes 3 jobs while my Brother and I were growing up").

Totally retro, we have advanced massively. Wife in Europe will not stay at home and raise the children. She goes to work and with her salary she pays for "the daycare" of her children. The children spending more time with "foreighn-people" instead of their parents. Brilliant! And Thai Society heading in the same direction.

As the "pacemakers" of this world, we have come a long ways, diden`t we?

 

[swissie]

On 2/18/2022 at 3:26 PM, Lacessit said:

To me, it's a fairly simple equation. I provide the financial support, my Thai GF "takes care" of what I need from her. It's like life back in the fifties in Australia.

Having said that, there are a few caveats to relationships here.

 

Rule 1. Never put more than you can afford to lose into Thailand.

Rule 2. Keep at least 70% of your assets back in your home country.

Rule 3. Keep control of the finances.

Rule 4. Make sure you are worth more alive than dead.

Rule 5. Set boundaries. I won't loan any money more than 1000 baht. Many Thais treat loans as

              a gift.

 

Seems to be working for me in the 11 years I have been here.

 

 

 

 

Those very essential rules were propagated soon after "Tourists" discovered Thailand. Dacades ago. Books were written about it and "warning-video-clips" shown on TV all over Europe, warning "Farang-Romeos" of the potential "pittfalls" awaiting them in Thailand.

Why certain basic rules have not taken hold up to this very day is just beyound me.

To the 5 points listed above, I would like to add point # 6: Seperate Bank-Accounts. No reason for any Joint-Bank-Accounts. Joint-Accounts are an invitation to dance for those contemplating "dirty-dancing".

 

[swissie]

On 2/18/2022 at 12:55 PM, stigar said:

Ur rigth.And some girls say if you dont send more money they will go back to the bar and start sell their p....Some foreigners dont undersand they never left the bar.

Not as before, but still plenty of Holiday-Farangs supporting their far away "Girlfriends" financially every month, expecting them to stay at home, patiently awaiting the occasional return of their "one and only" from Farangland.

I really thought, that this was something of the past, but appearantly not.

 

[Lacessit]

3 hours ago, swissie said:

Those very essential rules were propagated soon after "Tourists" discovered Thailand. Dacades ago. Books were written about it and "warning-video-clips" shown on TV all over Europe, warning "Farang-Romeos" of the potential "pittfalls" awaiting them in Thailand.

Why certain basic rules have not taken hold up to this very day is just beyound me.

To the 5 points listed above, I would like to add point # 6: Seperate Bank-Accounts. No reason for any Joint-Bank-Accounts. Joint-Accounts are an invitation to dance for those contemplating "dirty-dancing".

 

I do break that rule. Partly.

I have three bank accounts in my name only. The fourth is a joint bank account which contains enough money to maintain my GF until probate is granted on my Thai will, after I snuff it. I keep the bank book, she knows the money is there and what it is for.