How Do You Deal with your Feelings of Jealousy?

[spidermike007]

1 hour ago, Kenny202 said:

I had a job in Australia doing home service work in one of the expensive areas of Sydney. met dozens of personalities and it was always amazing how different they were to their on screen persona. Most of the ones who came across as down to earth characters were stuck up and rude, and the ones who seemed like that on TV were actually really nice natural people. 

PR agencies and managers are very good at creating a false perception. It takes a very solid human being, to remain down to earth and friendly and accessible, with all the nonsense out there these days, the level of adulation shown toward the famous, and the behavior of the sycophantic masses. I cannot even imaging having to deal with that. Fame would suck. 

[spidermike007]

17 hours ago, clokwise said:

My Thai wife and I have been married over 20 years. We sorted out all the jealousy stuff pretty easily. After 15 happy years together we both decided together to have an open marriage. Her idea, BTW. It works great. We're not swingers, or wife-swappers, or really not even into anything kinky, we each just find a new partner now and then. No jealousy at all, in fact we are genuinely happy for each other when they get laid. We first set down some rules, and we talk about our experiences all the time and always check in to make sure there's no ill feelings or questions. We kiss each other before going on a date, and again when we return. As we're in Thailand, it's not super easy to find dates. ENM is not well known in mainstream Thai society, because people usually just cheat on their spouse, and it's hard for people to wrap their heads around this concept.

Smart. I find after a decade or longer, there is very little interest in sex. Just too familiar. Sex gets routine and boring. So, sounds like you found a good solution. Kudos to you for that. Just make sure neither of you meets someone they get very fond of. Always keep it casual.

[spidermike007]

14 hours ago, Adumbration said:

Sex that stops you in your tracks.

Yeah, that is fun. Alot of fun. But does it last? I have been with women who blew my mind sexually, and we got it on many times a day. For awhile. After a year or two, not as much. And beyond the 2nd year? Sex always fades, for most of us. So, what is left at that point? Hopefully a wonderful friendship and a fulfilling relationship with a great gal. For me that is infinitely more fulfilling than just sex. 

Edited May 23, 2022 by spidermike007

[jerrymahoney]

51 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

And that is precisely why you never move into her house. Strategy prevents such a mindless move. 

A lot easier to move out of her house than to get her to leave yours.

Edited May 23, 2022 by jerrymahoney

[jerrymahoney]

I've read on this website of guys who say "I had more than my fair share of sex before moving to Thailand."

 

Well I didn't. Maybe that's why I'm not so jaded as the guys who would say the above.

[Kenny202]

27 minutes ago, jerrymahoney said:

A lot easier to move out of her house than to get her to leave yours.

Yeah in theory, as long as you don't have much stuff. been in that predicament twice. Stuck in a village 6 months desperately wanting to leave but knew it would be world war 111 getting my stuff out and a lot more than would fit on a pick up. Stuff, irreplaceable that I brought from home and had all my life. Tools, music equipment, cooking gear. She would rarely if ever leave me alone in the home and even if she did was impossible being a non Thai speaker trying to get a truck out to the back of beyond in a short window of time. In the end luckily she embarrassed herself in the village and my suggestion to go rent in another city (in my name) was welcomed. I actually built the house and knew I would never be returning so stripped it of everything, even petty stuff like shower fittings. Ended up giving it all away but felt good on some level.

 

Another relationship I was in with a fairly high level government worker ....who was a nice lady but it just didn't suit me living there had a similar issue. She (she said) was with holding my stuff as she was too embarrassed to let the locals see me moving out and lose face. Major appliances...furniture....everything. She had just built a home and had no money for furniture etc so on paper the arrangement seemed perfect. I ended up getting most of it back but it involved about 15 200km round trips in a pick up to secret it away in the middle of the night. She did end up nicking a bit of stuff, mainly petty sort of stuff but I was in a real pickle. She was well in with local police, government etc and should she have refused or got narcy I would have had little chance of getting my stuff, without a drawn out legal thing. I will never lose control of my belongings or environment again in Thailand.

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, simon43 said:

I had a vasectomy years ago, and made sure everyone knew about it.  Nowadays, it's a 'bonus' point >> no condom required and no chance of a pregnancy ????

I like having children though .... the more the merrier. 

[Adumbration]

18 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

Oh yeah. Went to the mountain with my first one here. Very sad to me that I could search the ends of the earth and never find someone half as good. Unfortunately she was a psychopath and one of the cruel ironies of life seems to be the better the sex the more mentally unhinged they are.

Golden rule is to never have sex with anyone crazier than youself.  Fortunatley for me that leave plenty of scope.

[In Full Agreement]

3 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

Yeah, that is fun. Alot of fun. But does it last? I have been with women who blew my mind sexually, and we got it on many times a day. For awhile. After a year or two, not as much. And beyond the 2nd year? Sex always fades, for most of us. So, what is left at that point? Hopefully a wonderful friendship and a fulfilling relationship with a great gal. For me that is infinitely more fulfilling than just sex. 

 

Sound like D.M.R. is inevitable.

 

 

[jerrymahoney]

2 hours ago, Kenny202 said:

Yeah in theory, as long as you don't have much stuff.

No problem -- she can just throw all your stuff out the window.

 

[jerrymahoney]

4 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I cannot even imaging having to deal with that. Fame would suck. 

My favorite famous recluse:

 

Thomas Pynchon

Even among reclusive novelists, Thomas Pynchon reigns anonymously supreme. Almost nothing is known about the author of some of the most seminal, mysterious and generally difficult works of 20th century fiction, and the novelist would like to keep it that way. ...

 

He has denied all publicity requests but one: in 2004, he agreed to appear on The Simpsons. Pynchon even lent his own voice to his character, which was drawn with a bag over its head.

 

http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1902376_1902378_1902438,00.html

[jerrymahoney]

On 5/23/2022 at 10:14 AM, spidermike007 said:

And that is precisely why you never move into her house. Strategy prevents such a mindless move. 

Thanks for the advice. I move in to the new house her family bought next month. My rent pays the mortgage but I have no formal obligations on the property.