On The Etiquette of Wais

[ozimoron]

1 hour ago, josephbloggs said:

Yeah!! And if someone puts their hand out don't shake it, just leave them hanging. And if someone says "hello" to you under no circumstances should you say hello back.

What an attitude.....

Wai's are not handshakes. Wais are a mark of respect to seniors.

[PJ71]

2 minutes ago, Dmaxdan said:

Yes really! Because to not wai back would be rude, ignorant and disrespectful. 

So is doing it incorrectly, depending on social standing.

 

If farangs wish to Wai, it's up to them, as mentioned, to me, it looks stupid. Wai and then not even be able to communicate....

[Kwasaki]

7 minutes ago, ozimoron said:

Wai's are not handshakes. Wais are a mark of respect to seniors.

There's a lot of one arm farmers where I live if they say hello I just wave.  ????

[Hummin]

10 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

There's a lot of one arm farmers where I live if they say hello I just wave.  ????

One hand wai is accepted if only one hand available. If you holding your coffe cup in one hand, you wai with the other ✋

 

I wai only to family and immigration when I want new stamp, or if I am meeting people we going to do business with

 

[Woof999]

36 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

Well a lot of the ex-SAS on bar stools do. ????

Indeed. I never realised the regiment was so large.

[SuperSilverHaze]

28 minutes ago, PJ71 said:

So is doing it incorrectly, depending on social standing.

 

If farangs wish to Wai, it's up to them, as mentioned, to me, it looks stupid. Wai and then not even be able to communicate....

So, don't wave hello, shake hands..

 

Perhaps live in a cave. Perfect for cavemen

[1FinickyOne]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

So, by their own rules, they should always wai me.

first - they should always wai you first and then you should return the wai 

 

And only after that can you drink champagne from their slipper.. 

Edited February 19, 2023 by 1FinickyOne

[proton]

Wai up not down first, and returning one often a wave of the hand. Up to mood often don't bother with either. 

[PJ71]

53 minutes ago, SuperSilverHaze said:

So, don't wave hello, shake hands..

 

Perhaps live in a cave. Perfect for cavemen

Speaking is fine, of course, much better than a silly gesture one does not understand (nor wish to).

 

Strange comment about a cave, are you a caveman?

[jayboy]

3 hours ago, JSLit said:

Also I tend to break the rules, like if a waiter or a maid Wai's at me Ill return it back. 

It's not actually breaking any rule.I've observed high status Thais over several decades and most will wai a subordinate if the latter initiates the gesture. Thus for example on leaving a restaurant the high status Thai will often wai a waiter if the latter initiated.It will usually be rather perfunctory but the thought is there.

 

I don't think Thais of any rank care very much whether farang use a wai or not (very few ever get the nuances quite right) but it's certainly not a negative feeling.

 

 

 

 

Edited February 19, 2023 by jayboy

[JSLit]

21 minutes ago, jayboy said:

It's not actually breaking any rule.I've observed high status Thais over several decades and most will wai a subordinate if the latter initiates the gesture. Thus for example on leaving a restaurant the high status Thai will often wai a waiter if the latter initiated.It will usually be rather perfunctory but the thought is there.

 

I don't think Thais of any rank care very much whether farang use a wai or not (very few ever get the nuances quite right) but it's certainly not a negative feeling.

 

 

 

 

Thats kind of my attitude. I dont like down or above anyone due to financial status. Saw it too many times back in farang land where one year someone. is near homeless only a few years later to become very successful in terms of wealth.

 

If a waiter wais to me I wai back

[JSLit]

2 hours ago, NanLaew said:

So the OP's mate, who I assume is a farang, got upset when his wai wasn't acknowldeged and reciprocated?

 

Maybe best to just avoid this cultural assimilation nonsense. It's a big old nothing burger.

Whenever I go to a coffee shop up in the sticks, Ill occasionally meet a farang who introduces themselves only to tell me how much they hate Thailand, how Thai people are oblivious, etc...only to then tell me that they've been here for 30 years and plan on still being here. LOL

[zzaa09]

4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Don't wai anyone, you aren't a serf or a lord.

It's a respectful familial gesture, less one political.

Edited February 19, 2023 by zzaa09

[Lorry]

4 hours ago, SuperSilverHaze said:

You should return almost everyone's wai.

You shouldn't wai back to the cashier in BigC or the waitress in Pizza Company, neither the staff at the door or the information counter of a hotel or hospital. 

Neither a 10 y.o. child. 

 

Older people (meaning over 18) may remember the times when a cashier in a supermarket wasn't required by his employer to wai the customers. Not all Thais were happy when companies started this - it devaluated the wai.

[Gottfrid]

6 hours ago, JSLit said:

ve been living in Thailand on and off for almost 10 years.

That´s when I started wondering. Why does this guy need to ask this?

[nglodnig]

Hmm my "wai" height - chest, face or head - tends to be a combination of who I'm "wai"ing and how they "wai"-ed me.

 

Sayng that, monks get a head-high wai, kids, a chest-high one (if they "wai"-ed me first but not if they didn't) and generally family and friends get a face-high "wai" (which I class as neutral).

 

[AustinRacing]

14 hours ago, josephbloggs said:

Yeah!! And if someone puts their hand out don't shake it, just leave them hanging. And if someone says "hello" to you under no circumstances should you say hello back.

What an attitude.....

Wai is a Thai thing and should not be confused with saying hello or shaking hand. If you’re not Thai no need to do it. Thais don’t expect it from you. 

[ignore it]

Wai...NOT !!

[Thingamabob]

Generally westerners are not considered rude if they do not return a wai with a wai. A smile and an right hand extended for a handshake is entirely acceptable. Being waied by service providers does not require a response. If  you do so you will be thought to be ignorant and rather silly.

[zzaa09]

What about Faraing waiing Farang? 

????

[Gandtee]

14 hours ago, JSLit said:

????

And of course your s**t doesn't stink. As the old saying goes.????

[swm59nj]

You can Wai as much as you want. it’s a nice gesture.  But you will still be viewed as an outsider. So I doesn’t make much difference. 

[Purdey]

Personally, I say sawasdi krub to younger people and lower ranking staff. If they wai then I wai back.

In Japan, if someone bows I bow back. If an Indian says namaste and puts their palms together i do the same. It's their culture and ît isn't our job to decide if it's good or not. 

 

 

Edited February 20, 2023 by Purdey

[Caldera]

Now after the Covid break is over, I cannot help but notice more foreigners in Bangkok overdoing the wai thing in situations they really shouldn't. Especially with wait staff in restaurants and the likes.

[PJ71]

11 hours ago, Lorry said:

it devaluated the wai.

555555555555555555

[Andrew Dwyer]

I only ever wai my mil, when I can remember, i certainly don’t wai immigration or police . Why would you wai someone who is only doing their job , or not ! as is often the case .

 

[ozimoron]

6 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

I only ever wai my mil, when I can remember, i certainly don’t wai immigration or police . Why would you wai someone who is only doing their job , or not ! as is often the case .

 

Wai is a deference to social status. It's as normal in Thai society as shaking hands in the west. I have never seen Thais shake hands with other Thais. When in Rome...

[watchcat]

15 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

There's a lot of one arm farmers where I live if they say hello I just wave.  ????

A wave could, and often does, mean no in Thailand.

[zyphodb]

16 hours ago, SuperSilverHaze said:

But they look even more stupid when they don't.

Sometimes, it all depends on the situation...

[roo860]

2 hours ago, zzaa09 said:

What about Faraing waiing Farang? 

????

That's always good for a laugh