I pay for something and the cashier hands the change back to my wife?

[Lucky Bones]

4 hours ago, SenorTashi said:

Good to know. I get it but it's a bit bloody rude.

First time Thailand eh?????????

[Peterphuket]

3 hours ago, lopburi3 said:

Normally the Thai will want to double check the amount to make sure you have not been shortchaged - so eliminates an extra step and indicates cashier is providing the corrent change (as we foreigners can't be expected to count Thai money).  ????

It is true, my gf do it in the restaurant, first she take te bill en check it is correct or not, after I'm allowed to pay.

[Freddy42OZ]

If I've handed over the cash to pay for something, I don't want my pockets filled with change, or my wallet filled with low denomination notes. So if my GF is with me I'll tell the shopkeeper to give her the change.  My GF is not Thai/Asian.  

These days I try to pay using my phone as much as possible.

[alex8912]

Wow. Op sounds like the guy who is attached by the hip to his Thai wife/ girlfriend / Mia noi/ or prostitute.   Maybe you can be a big boy and pay for something by yourself!  I bet  you get all the change.  Even in a supermarket I separate from my partner and pay. What's  the big deal? You or she/ he is just taking up space in line. Let me make a WILD assumption. You are the couple who books a cheap flight. You don't pay for seat selection. Then on the plane you start asking people to move because you want to sit next to the money collector/ wife???? Yup. 

[Thingamabob]

So what ? Of no interest nor significance whatsoever.

[digger70]

5 hours ago, SenorTashi said:

I was going to bring this up months ago on here. I was telling her that since we'd been together nobody talks to me anymore. When I travel alone, all the tuktuk and taxi and bus drivers and waiters and hotel staff all speak to me and even if they dont speak good English we still manage to have a good chat and a laugh but whenever i was with her, they all claimed to not know any English and I was totally ignored. Gotta be honest, it made my time in Thailand a lot less enjoyable.  

Yes, They think that we  are mere Aliens, Not to worry ,they don't know better.

[spidermike007]

This is the very definition of a nothing burger. Why does it mean so much to you, and why are you so focused on tiny details like this? Who cares? Not everything is about racism. 

[brianburi]

16 minutes ago, Thingamabob said:

So what ? Of no interest nor significance whatsoever.

Totally agree but he only has 134 posts and needs to be reminded by all the Mr Thailand's on AN what an insignificant chap he is.

Leave the velcro wife at home and go shopping on your own.    Cheaper and and more enjoyable.  Plus a good chance he'll get the change handed to him......

[George Aylesham]

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Thinking too mut, IMO.

I'm pretty sure that paying for things is normally a Thai wives department - cultural perhaps.

 

Cashier knows who is the boss?

[BritManToo]

5 hours ago, SenorTashi said:

When I travel alone, all the tuktuk and taxi and bus drivers and waiters and hotel staff all speak to me and even if they dont speak good English we still manage to have a good chat and a laugh but whenever i was with her, they all claimed to not know any English and I was totally ignored. Gotta be honest, it made my time in Thailand a lot less enjoyable.  

I learned to always travel alone.

 

No need to take your wife with you, plenty of available women everywhere you go.

Wife stays at home and looks after the house/kids/pets.

[grain]

3 hours ago, Neeranam said:

Drives me crazy, wife usually tells them to give to me.

Worst is when I am driving and I stop to ask directions, or security guard looks in the driver's window, straight through me to my wife. Actually it was more annoying when it was to my kids when they were young. Often don't get menus. Recently bought a m/c and the woman selling wouldn't answer my questions, so walked straight out. 

It backfires on them from time to time too mate. A few years ago I was driving between Korat and Khon Kaen. We were out in the sticks and ahead I saw a bus had broken down and the passengers were milling around at the side of the road. About 50 meters further ahead was a Thai man, his wife and a small kid. They were well dressed and the man was trying to wave down passing cars. Obviously they were in a hurry to get to KK, perhaps they had to get to work, or make another connection. Anyway, I pulled up and got half out my car and asked him where they were going (I speak Thai well). The man just looks at me. My Thai wife sitting in the car winds down her window, so seeing another Thai the man goes blah-blah-blah to her, totally ignoring me. So I got back in my car and drove off. I just thought fk you. You don't like talking with foreigners. Well the foreigner owns this car and the foreigner decides who gets into this car. If you had given me the courtesy of a reply/response your troubles would be over and you and your family would be sitting in a nice AC car on your way to KK. But you don't like talking to foreigners, so you're still standing out in the blazing sun at the side of a road...som nam nah. 

[tanner]

6 hours ago, SenorTashi said:

She did, every time. They both looked at me like I was weird for expecting 500 back from 1000.

Just give wife the money to pay, face saver, get your change later, one way or other 555.

[IndomitableSpirit]

It doesn't just happen to couples, happened to my sister and I many times too. I'd pay and they would give my sister the change or vise versa. We grew up here in Thailand and speak Thai near native speaker level. Don't think too much of it, whoever their eyes caught first when giving back the change gets it or the one nearer. 

 

Also, the money being given to wives by husbands is done by a lot of cultures and countries in Asia. Even if the wife earns her own or earns bigger, it's more on the wife being the "treasurer".

 

OP if you will be too sensitive and not learn the Thai culture or ways, you won't really enjoy your stay in Thailand. Once you get in the "circle" then you'll ease up and more. Listen to other foreign husbands here who has been with their Thai wives for a long time.

[Kenny202]

6 hours ago, grain said:

Happened to me countless times too, it's the Thai Rak Thai thing. I noticed it immediately when I arrive at the airport 2 weeks ago, I asked a question to a woman at a counter in the airport, my Thai wife was standing behind me, the woman at the counter totally ignored me and began talking to my wife. 

Ooooooh that annoys me. I usually make them sorry they do it to. In any culture it is just rude to blank someone

 

[SenorTashi]

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I did other things than give money like wiring their houses, but that didn't count- only money is important.

Yep, had the same experience. It only took me a couple of months to realise that I wasn't very interested in this 'arrangement'

[jimn]

6 hours ago, SenorTashi said:

I told her to stop taking advantage of foreigners and pay her own bloody bills. They were expecting me to fill the car up with petrol even though I cycle everywhere. 

 

The other question I had for you guys is, has anyone ever heard the expression 'don't worry, farang pay?' because she said that to me one night after a meal her brother in law had just paid for and tons of food got wasted.

I said, 'you do realise who you're talking to don't you?' 

Come on elighten us, who are you?

[SenorTashi]

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

it's no problem except to people that can't accept they are not living back home.

Some of you guys really do have your heads a long way up your <deleted> don't you.

 

 

[radiochaser]

6 hours ago, grain said:

Happened to me countless times too, it's the Thai Rak Thai thing. I noticed it immediately when I arrive at the airport 2 weeks ago, I asked a question to a woman at a counter in the airport, my Thai wife was standing behind me, the woman at the counter totally ignored me and began talking to my wife. 

That happened to me.  I was in a cellular phone service store waiting to be called to the English speaking desk.   I asked the lady a question and she started speaking Thai and looking to the side of me.   I looked and there was a woman on my left.   I asked the lady why she was speaking to the woman and she told me something like, it is easier to explain in Thai to your wife.   

I told her my wife is in America.  I don't think she can hear you!  She said, no your wife right there.  I told her to ask if she is my wife, the lady behind me said she wasn't my wife, seemed to be embarrassed,  and walked out of the store!

[BritManToo]

14 minutes ago, IndomitableSpirit said:

OP if you will be too sensitive and not learn the Thai culture or ways, you won't really enjoy your stay in Thailand. Once you get in the "circle" then you'll ease up and more. Listen to other foreign husbands here who has been with their Thai wives for a long time.

Nonsense, no need at all to learn their feudal culture.

I only interact with other male Brits, and Thai women I'm interested in some private time with.

I couldn't be happier with my life here.

Edited March 1, 2023 by BritManToo

[SenorTashi]

2 hours ago, hellohello123 said:

The transaction is between two people, not the third 

 

Thinking about this again today, those cashiers have no idea if the Thai woman with me is my assistant or my daughter in law or whatever and nobody has any right to be deciding who to donate my money too.

I'm reading through the thread and understand it's a cultural thing and I got that at the time anyway but it just bugged me when i asked the missus what's going on and she played dumb.

[radiochaser]

6 hours ago, SenorTashi said:

I was going to bring this up months ago on here. I was telling her that since we'd been together nobody talks to me anymore. When I travel alone, all the tuktuk and taxi and bus drivers and waiters and hotel staff all speak to me and even if they dont speak good English we still manage to have a good chat and a laugh but whenever i was with her, they all claimed to not know any English and I was totally ignored. Gotta be honest, it made my time in Thailand a lot less enjoyable.  

After going to Thailand several times and going out to eat etc, I grew tired of not being included in the conversations, because of my limited Thai language skills.   I know enough to live here, but not enough to have an adult conversation.

I finally told my wife I was not going out with her and her friends because of this.  After she understood, I was left behind to fend for myself.   Makes my time in Thailand a lot more enjoyable.  

[SenorTashi]

1 hour ago, Lucky Bones said:

First time Thailand eh?????????

Well, if spending several years in various countries across Asia over 32 years counts as my first time, then yes it is.

[SenorTashi]

1 hour ago, alex8912 said:

Wow. Op sounds like the guy who is attached by the hip to his Thai wife/ girlfriend / Mia noi/ or prostitute.   Maybe you can be a big boy and pay for something by yourself!  I bet  you get all the change.  Even in a supermarket I separate from my partner and pay. What's  the big deal? You or she/ he is just taking up space in line. Let me make a WILD assumption. You are the couple who books a cheap flight. You don't pay for seat selection. Then on the plane you start asking people to move because you want to sit next to the money collector/ wife???? Yup. 

You sound like a mental patient

[BobBKK]

4 hours ago, Neeranam said:

Interested to know if Thai men have the same issue. Maybe it's not a racial thing.

I understood it was quite normal for Thai men to hand over their pay packet to the wife who manages the home economy. After that it becomes habit I think and almost a courtesy to the wife. 

[Negita43]

It's done for your own protection.

Really, doesn't anyone know that it's part of the shop assistants training - after all, Farangs can't be trusted with their own money can they?

[SenorTashi]

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

Why does it mean so much to you, and why are you so focused on tiny details like this? Who cares? Not everything is about racism. 

You seem to have created a whole different argument all on your own there.

Well done. 

[Lucky Bones]

5 minutes ago, SenorTashi said:

Well, if spending several years in various countries across Asia over 32 years counts as my first time, then yes it is.

Several years in various (differently cultured) countries = Thailand novice.

I'm still learning new things every day, (without being offended), after 10 years.

Keep at it.????????

[Lucky Bones]

55 minutes ago, grain said:

It backfires on them from time to time too mate. A few years ago I was driving between Korat and Khon Kaen. We were out in the sticks and ahead I saw a bus had broken down and the passengers were milling around at the side of the road. About 50 meters further ahead was a Thai man, his wife and a small kid. They were well dressed and the man was trying to wave down passing cars. Obviously they were in a hurry to get to KK, perhaps they had to get to work, or make another connection. Anyway, I pulled up and got half out my car and asked him where they were going (I speak Thai well). The man just looks at me. My Thai wife sitting in the car winds down her window, so seeing another Thai the man goes blah-blah-blah to her, totally ignoring me. So I got back in my car and drove off. I just thought fk you. You don't like talking with foreigners. Well the foreigner owns this car and the foreigner decides who gets into this car. If you had given me the courtesy of a reply/response your troubles would be over and you and your family would be sitting in a nice AC car on your way to KK. But you don't like talking to foreigners, so you're still standing out in the blazing sun at the side of a road...som nam nah. 

I am outraged that you get so outraged.????????

[radiochaser]

1 hour ago, alex8912 said:

Wow. Op sounds like the guy who is attached by the hip to his Thai wife/ girlfriend / Mia noi/ or prostitute.   Maybe you can be a big boy and pay for something by yourself!  I bet  you get all the change.  Even in a supermarket I separate from my partner and pay. What's  the big deal? You or she/ he is just taking up space in line. Let me make a WILD assumption. You are the couple who books a cheap flight. You don't pay for seat selection. Then on the plane you start asking people to move because you want to sit next to the money collector/ wife???? Yup. 

The airlines you use charges you so you can select the seats you want?? 
What airlines are those.   The airlines I fly on let me choose the seats without any additional charges.

[asf6]

6 hours ago, SenorTashi said:

The other question I had for you guys is, has anyone ever heard the expression 'don't worry, farang pay?' because she said that to me one night after a meal her brother in law had just paid for and tons of food got wasted.

I said, 'you do realise who you're talking to don't you?' 

Hi SenorTashi,

I'm not sure I understand all of your post correctly. 

 

Your wife's brother in law had just paid for a meal but then: 

 

(a) Did she tell her BIL that you should have paid for the meal because you are a farang? Or

(b) Did she tell you that you should have paid for the meal because you are a farang? 

 

If (a), did she use the word farang instead of your name?