Really Wish I Hadn't Invited My Friend To Visit

[nigelforbes]

19 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

I would like to think a stern talking of what you will do will avoid that. ????

You're no fun, I'm not coming to see you now and the family lives in tung siliam too. ????

[Stevey]

1 hour ago, novacova said:

This is why a lot, most women here, at least here in the north are afraid and scared of most foreign men. Just some of the descriptives some of my friends use are psychopaths, not normal and rude. It’s probably why the creepy creeps end up hanging out boozer bars with prostitutes and some even marring them because decent Decent Thai women won’t get near them and don’t want anything to do with the creep trash that comes here. 

Are you talking about me ? 

[Kwasaki]

3 hours ago, robblok said:

Some people are just like that. I think its more a certain class of people not a country. We got those idiots too in the Netherlands who think life is drinking and being rude. Usually people working in construction and so on. 

Most of my life was in the construction industry and yes drinking for most was a way of life and as you say they are not all like that. 

In UK to bring class into bad behavior I don't agree they can come from any class me having spend a lot of time in pubs and witnessed on many occasions throughout my work life. 

[Kwasaki]

27 minutes ago, nigelforbes said:

You're no fun, I'm not coming to see you now and the family lives in tung siliam too. ????

My slapping days are over sorry,  I know my limitations these days. ????

[spidermike007]

Friendship is a truly fascinating relationship. It is one of the only relationships we have, that is entirely voluntary. We engage, because we want to engage. Friendships tend to evolve and change over the years. Some get better, some get worse. Some people become better versions of themselves as they get older, most don't. 

 

I tend to be less tolerant of idiots, as I get older. And I would definitely call out a friend who was misbehaving, here, or anywhere. Your mistake was spending so much time with him. That was on you. At any point you simply could have told him that sitting around drinking all day is one of the most boring things in life, and you have no interest in doing that. Enjoy yourself and I will see you later in the evening, when you come back. You could have even gone a step further, and asked him to move to a hotel. Sounds like a guy you really don't have an interest in anymore. So? Friendships devolve sometimes. Some people you just let go of, after many years. 

 

Who makes these choices anyway? 

[robblok]

32 minutes ago, Kwasaki said:

Most of my life was in the construction industry and yes drinking for most was a way of life and as you say they are not all like that. 

In UK to bring class into bad behavior I don't agree they can come from any class me having spend a lot of time in pubs and witnessed on many occasions throughout my work life. 

Im probably wrong with calling it class of people. What i mean its a certain type usually construction but not all. But it sucks to generalize as you will always offend people. Lets put it this way it happens a lot more with certain groups of ppl. Now in my home time its carnaval. Even though its not allowed young kids of 14 and so are drinking in bars and nobody carers. This is the law of our village, everyone knows nobody acts. Lot of those will grow up annoying.

 

I dont care people drinking and getting drunk. But if they act like the guy describes then they are just trash. Annoying others with their behavior.  Drink whenever you want how much you want as long as you dont bother others its ok with me. Same goes for drug use. Live and let live.

 

Too bad for the bad apples that seem to ruin it for those who can use drugs or drink and behave.

[Kwasaki]

8 minutes ago, robblok said:

Im probably wrong with calling it class of people. What i mean its a certain type usually construction but not all. But it sucks to generalize as you will always offend people. Lets put it this way it happens a lot more with certain groups of ppl. Now in my home time its carnaval. Even though its not allowed young kids of 14 and so are drinking in bars and nobody carers. This is the law of our village, everyone knows nobody acts. Lot of those will grow up annoying.

 

I dont care people drinking and getting drunk. But if they act like the guy describes then they are just trash. Annoying others with their behavior.  Drink whenever you want how much you want as long as you dont bother others its ok with me. Same goes for drug use. Live and let live.

 

Too bad for the bad apples that seem to ruin it for those who can use drugs or drink and behave.

Fair call. ????

[BangkokReady]

3 hours ago, novacova said:

This is why a lot, most women here, at least here in the north are afraid and scared of most foreign men. Just some of the descriptives some of my friends use are psychopaths, not normal and rude. It’s probably why the creepy creeps end up hanging out boozer bars with prostitutes and some even marring them because decent Decent Thai women won’t get near them and don’t want anything to do with the creep trash that comes here. 

You give two reasons that "creepy creep trash" have to marry prostitutes.  1, because women in the North of Thailand are afraid of most foreign men due to their reputation.  2, because decent Thai women don't want anything to do with "creepy creep trash".

 

If most Thai women are scared of foreign men, why would only the "creepy creep trash" have to "hang out in boozer bars with prostitutes"?  Surely all foreign men would share this fate?

[BangkokReady]

54 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Friendship is a truly fascinating relationship. It is one of the only relationships we have, that is entirely voluntary.

Perhaps for some, but many people have no choice in who their friends are.  They simply find themselves thrown together with some people they lived near as a youth, people they went to school with, or people they work with.  I guess in Thailand we would add people that they happen see in a bar regularly.

 

For many, friendship is a kind of reciprocal tolerance.  There's certainly an element of obligation, the way a lot of people discuss friendships.

 

Plenty of tales of people who have friends that they don't like all that much.  A lot of men hardly have any friends as they get older and rely on their partner for a lot of social interaction.

[BangkokReady]

 

 

1 hour ago, Kwasaki said:

5 hours ago, robblok said:

Some people are just like that. I think its more a certain class of people not a country. We got those idiots too in the Netherlands who think life is drinking and being rude. Usually people working in construction and so on. 

Most of my life was in the construction industry and yes drinking for most was a way of life and as you say they are not all like that. 

In UK to bring class into bad behavior I don't agree they can come from any class me having spend a lot of time in pubs and witnessed on many occasions throughout my work life. 

I think he meant class of people as in a type of person, rather than "social class".

[spidermike007]

13 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

Perhaps for some, but many people have no choice in who their friends are.  They simply find themselves thrown together with some people they lived near as a youth, people they went to school with, or people they work with.  I guess in Thailand we would add people that they happen see in a bar regularly.

 

For many, friendship is a kind of reciprocal tolerance.  There's certainly an element of obligation, the way a lot of people discuss friendships.

 

Plenty of tales of people who have friends that they don't like all that much.  A lot of men hardly have any friends as they get older and rely on their partner for a lot of social interaction.

You may be right. I see things very differently. Been blessed with some very good friends, some of whom I have known for decades. Great souls. People I love hanging out with. I have issues with some of them, and visa versa. But, not to the point where it is difficult or unpleasant to hang out with them. And sometimes, one finds that an old friendship just is not working anymore. So be it.

 

And some friendships are deep enough, where these kinds of irritants can be discussed and worked through. Real adult conversations. 

[robblok]

Ppl i dont like i dont contact anymore. Too bad to lose friends but pretending is not my style. Rather be more alone then faking it.

[Captain Monday]

I was to meet this colleague in BKK then show him around Chiang Mai first thing he tells me is he "can't eat Thai food" and wants to go to the Hard Rock. The main reason for that is I find out it is a pick up joint for foreign men and Thai ladies he heard was good.  I never once in my life thought of going there. I ate a hamburger that was  simultaneously the most expensive and probably worst hamburger of my life. 

 

He left CM after a couple days unimpressed with the lineup there not before blaming me about his laundry which he expected to be on hangers in plastic film as back home not ironed and folded with copious amounts of fabric softener. It is not like he had never been to Thailand before? Another guy had the same reaction complaining about the talent finally after two or three nights I see him at his breakfast with his catch. She looked like any other slapper to me

 

 I won't play guide with sex tourists anymore. Very boring lives they lead I would prefer they find escorts and hamburgers in their own country.

 

 

[GinBoy2]

2 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

You may be right. I see things very differently. Been blessed with some very good friends, some of whom I have known for decades. Great souls. People I love hanging out with. I have issues with some of them, and visa versa. But, not to the point where it is difficult or unpleasant to hang out with them. And sometimes, one finds that an old friendship just is not working anymore. So be it.

 

And some friendships are deep enough, where these kinds of irritants can be discussed and worked through. Real adult conversations. 

Friendship can be tricky.

 

I'm a bit of an odd duck for my age and ethnicity. I'm an only child of an only child Hispanic parents.

 

So I grew up pretty self reliant and over the decades I've had plenty of 'friends' but in reality nothing more than acquaintances, and when they were gone, never really thought about them again.

 

In truth I can socialize with the best, but it's totally superficial.

 

A have one real friend, a woman who  started Kindergarden with me 60 years ago, God Mother to all my kids and a woman who I know would jump on a plane in a second if I needed her and vice versa 

[RichardColeman]

21 hours ago, bkk6060 said:

No worries OP you tried, but unfortunately sounds like typical behavior of the UK visitors I have met lately.

NO, it sounds like anyone of any nation that tries to fit in as much as they can in 10 days whilst drinking as much as they can. 

[NanLaew]

On 4/15/2023 at 6:08 PM, nigelforbes said:

What a horror story, my sympathies to the OP, I'm happy for you that your life has returned to normal.

 

Several years ago I offered to host my niece and her boyfriend during the Thailand leg of their gap year, round the world trip. She's an extremely intelligent girl who is now a partner in a law firm and speaks several languages. Despite trying to play the informed tourist guide role, she was convinced that virtually every Thai female she saw was a hooker and that the entire country had been given over to the sex trade, despite the fact we never even went close to any dodgy areas like lower Suckie. I tried to correct her understanding a few times but finally gave up. At the airport when I saw them off, she said she probably wouldn't return to Thailand because you just can't get away from the sex trade.

 

What can be said, people have bias and prejudices, despite apparent intelligence she turned out to be pretty stupid. 

I can see where that must have been disappointing. Just goes to show that even educated and intelligent people probably still subscribe to the Daily Mail.

[moose7117]

10 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

 

 

I tend to be less tolerant of idiots, as I get older. And I would definitely call out a friend who was misbehaving, here, or anywhere.

Now that is the funniest thing i have heard in years. 

how many times have you been called out for your own behaviour towards the Thai people ?

[thaibeachlovers]

13 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

A have one real friend, a woman who  started Kindergarden with me 60 years ago, God Mother to all my kids and a woman who I know would jump on a plane in a second if I needed her and vice versa 

Count yourself blessed then.

That's one more real friend than most have.

 

What I feel sad about is when people that I thought were my real friends turn out to be not so, like the guy I knew for 25 years, but stole a large sum of money from me, and didn't even feel guilty.

[novacova]

18 hours ago, Stevey said:

gave him a piece of my mind and I’ve been doing it ever since.

Really? Wow you made my point. Who are you to impose an obligation on a complete stranger? Do you do this to everyone? Foreigner, Thai Chinese Burmese? Most people just go about their lives privately and most people are friendly. The last thing most want to interact with is an individual that can’t retain composure and impose on them, such as the above statement and its indicative of many foreigners I come across here. If someone doesn’t respond to you, then why not just go about your business rather than getting upset at a complete stranger? Doesn’t seem normal. I treat everyone the same, here or back in the US. I’ve always ignored people looking for attention, especially over friendly zealots. 

[novacova]

26 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Count yourself blessed then.

That's one more real friend than most have.

 

What I feel sad about is when people that I thought were my real friends turn out to be not so, like the guy I knew for 25 years, but stole a large sum of money from me, and didn't even feel guilty.

A few quality friends has more value then whole lot of friends with a mix of good and bad. Though unfortunately sometimes it’s hard to weed them out.  

[novacova]

17 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

Surely all foreign men would share this fate?

No, because not everyone hangs out at bars. 

[1FinickyOne]

On 4/15/2023 at 4:41 PM, Brewster67 said:

You just can't do this stuff here

Are there other places where it is accepted? 

 

My sympathies to you but does it make you wonder why you liked him in the first place?

[novacova]

18 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

I tend to be less tolerant of idiots, as I get older. And I would definitely call out a friend who was misbehaving, here, or anywhere.

Well you’re a much better person than I am. I have zero tolerance for idiots, get a good read on them quickly and move on. As far as calling anyone out, it’s for family members only. Life is too good and short for any riff-raff. 

[Pink Mist]

An off topic post, a troll post and replies have been removed.

[Captain Monday]

20 hours ago, Stevey said:

Ahh ! Perfect I can get this off my chest.
 

So you’re one of the ones who won’t make eye contact with other Falangs ? 
 

Yes I’ve been here a few years in Isaan near  NongKhai. 4 years ago was the first time I experienced an old man blank me. I was in a little electrical shop browsing. A sixty up year old man had walked into the shop and as I turned around he was about a foot away from me. We made eye contact and I made some kind of remark such as Hi. He responded with a frowned questioning look and a made a face which is internationally known to mean “ why are you interrupting my life ? I entered this shop with my wife who understands about 25% of Zee Verds I speaken can you please get away from me “ 

 

I gave him a piece of my mind and I’ve been doing it ever since. Never seen so many shy sixty plus year olds. For a while I started to think it maybe them not being very good on the old English. But I let a guy a few months ago know what time it was as he walked right past me wearing a Panama hat on an empty street , I could have touched him he was that close. There is no way in the world I could possibly let someone mug me off like that in public so he got it too. Worked out he was English. Weirdos indeed but they think it’s weird to a fellow foreigner that is standing next to you in a remote village corner shop. I’ve had that multiple times. 

I am not the farang to ignore the small talk and greetings I just don't initiate it. 

 

You expect "eye contact" acknowledgement and if not they are weird?  I don't think so. Just because somebody is a foreigner does not make them your "fellow". Do Thai men get the same? Off topic but in the US depending on the area if you look at men on the street you are going to have problems. 30 percent are basically primates. 

 

I think everybody should be treated with the same level of respect depending on the situation.  If you are in my condo or parking area this is communal living space you will get a nod, eye contact, a greeting, in Thai etc. It is racist to assume people who look like white westerners speak English.  I'm supposed to say "hi" What is "hi"? Makes no sense. We have a lot of older Thai people and everyone is very polite. There is one foreign guy who is hostile to the point of him getting off the elevator if others board and another overly outgoing and intrusive gormless clod I do my best to avoid, but I would avoid him in any country. 

 

 

 

[PleaseTypeSlow4me]

17 hours ago, Captain Monday said:

I ate a hamburger that was  simultaneously the most expensive and probably worst hamburger of my life. 

If a real friend, that wouldn't matter.  You go there to support his eating habits, catch up, and be a real friend.  Seems like that wasn't the case before, so I would have simply rejected this restaurant and saved myself a headache.   You work with sexpats, that's another issue.  I remember a guy making some poor farang go to a super expensive restaurant just to see him unhappy when he had to pay.  Of course he didn't have fun, complained, and it's just a bad relationship.   

 

I see you call women "slappers".    Well, we won't be friends.  lol

[spidermike007]

10 hours ago, moose7117 said:

Now that is the funniest thing i have heard in years. 

how many times have you been called out for your own behaviour towards the Thai people ?

Not often. But, that means little to me. If anyone wants to call me out, for something stupid I am doing or saying, they are welcome. If they don't it is on them.

 

And if that is the funniest thing you heard in years, I recommend seeing some excellent stand up comedy. 

[Kwasaki]

4 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Count yourself blessed then.

That's one more real friend than most have.

 

What I feel sad about is when people that I thought were my real friends turn out to be not so, like the guy I knew for 25 years, but stole a large sum of money from me, and didn't even feel guilty.

The word friend is banded about to losely IMHO I use acquaintance.

 

I guess I'm lucky to say the best friend I've ever had was my Dad. 

 

My Thai wife is obviously more than friend.

Sons and daughters I take for granted they come and see me.

 

Guys and girls, ladies I know here are really only acquaintances.

 

I have a good buddy who's here 6 months of the year and we go riding our motorbikes to all corners of Thailand 

We been doing that for some 11 years so Yeah I guess I could call him a friend. ????

[Expat68]

If he is your TRUE friend you will accept him for what he his. My friend for 33 years drinks every day, either in the UK or when he visits me in Thailand. There is no man alive who is more genuine than him. Over pre Christmas/New Year for one month in total I spent with him, we both understand each other, we both gave each other space, had a great time, at the end of the year he will be back over and I am looking forward to seeing him again 

[Tropposurfer]

We all make faux pas, but having said that there are many 'tip-rats' in this world. 

 

I think as an Aussie I can speak with 6.5 decades of expertise of being horrified, since early childhood as my home nation has plenty of bogun's who behave with such appalling, rude, yes truly disgusting, ignorant, and socially inappropriate behaviours as to make one cringe.

 

I received many things form my family, some not good at all, but I was given a good instruction in manners, social decorum, respect for others, and etiquette.

I'm sure there are many quotations from far more learned people than I which refer to those who behave only fractionally about farm animals. 

 

Manners (a gift to others), humility, gentleness, and quiet speech harm no one and enrich the world.

 

I'm glad you survived ???????? and hope you will use this educative experience to hold strong boundaries where needed with folks from the Old Dart, or anywhere else for that matter, in the future.