When you're old & lonely

[JayClay]

12 hours ago, bignok said:

What about guys who date ladyboys?

I wouldn't worry about it too much Bigbob. Most people are pretty chill around here.

 

If you want to date a ladyboy, go for it.

[bignok]

5 minutes ago, JayClay said:

I wouldn't worry about it too much Bigbob. Most people are pretty chill around here.

 

If you want to date a ladyboy, go for it.

You must be happy with yours then

[JayClay]

Just now, bignok said:

You must be happy with yours then

Maybe I am.

[gargamon]

1 hour ago, swm59nj said:

And I’m not talking about women who are bar girls or just looking for money

Are there other kinds? In Thailand? Keep dreaming. 

[JayClay]

1 minute ago, gargamon said:

Are there other kinds? In Thailand?

Yes

[phetphet]

18 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

Even if you are in a car or motorbike tomorrow don't forget to shout out to the next car or passersby "R U OK ?

Unfortunately, this is just as likely to result in a confrontation here in Thailand. It might be misconstrued as asking if there is something wrong with them.

[shackleton]

Life is what you make it 

Take each day as it comes enjoy

you made the decision to come to Thailand land of smiles to retire ???? 

Don't look back having regrets be positive and look to the future 

[QuantumQuandry]

12 hours ago, JimTripper said:

Makes no difference who it is. Dating is one thing, "utilizing the services of prostitutes" is another. There's no grey area like guys like to believe. Someone is either there for the money, or not. It's not good or bad, just reality. Take money out of the relationship and you have your answer.

I used to think that, when I had never been with a bargirl.

 

Then I started barfining bargirls (in the Philippines), just for the sex and the partying and fun.  And I probably still thought that, to some degree, though I was starting to see the girls as real people, not just service providers, *sometimes* with real wants and needs beyond money.

 

And then, as I got to know them better and started to treat them like friends or dates, some of them started to come over when they weren't working, for free.  Now some of those girls would end up asking for money later, in terms of loans (which weren't loans).  Some of them had lots of supporters and would never ask for money.

 

And I also dated girls from outside the P4P scene.  College girls, cashiers, girls I met online.  And some of those girls would eventually end up asking for money, for books, for exams, for family emergencies, what have you.

 

So if some of the prostitutes hang out with me for free...and some of the non-prostitutes sometimes want money...

 

I have to think...not only is there a grey area...but maybe it's even bigger than people think.

[The Theory]

20 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

So apparently so many Reg's ,it's fun for awhile isn't it ,moving to Thailand particularly Pattaya,then you find out there is no real friends,no family , No real love 

10 years ago I worked at a community college (I was not an instructor) in CA and I was surprised that there were many girls who were interested in me, even though I was in my early 50s. I heard a few times that they wanted to have sex with me (amazing beautiful girls). They just wanted to have fun with a handsome nice smiling man ???? . There were many hungry teachers as well, in different ages.
Here you have to pay, one way or another. Nothing is free. You will be lonely even though you have some people around you. 

[JimTripper]

6 minutes ago, The Theory said:

10 years ago I worked at a community college (I was not an instructor) in CA and I was surprised that there were many girls who were interested in me, even though I was in my early 50s. I heard a few times that they wanted to have sex with me (amazing beautiful girls). They just wanted to have fun with a handsome nice smiling man ???? . There were many hungry teachers as well, in different ages.
Here you have to pay, one way or another. Nothing is free. You will be lonely even though you have some people around you. 

I don’t think you’re really cut out for teaching. Maybe try sanitation or some profession where you work alone, like accounting.

[sikishrory]

I'm not ashamed to say I feel like this guy at times.

There's a number of younger expats in Thailand but they are mostly busy with work and I don't meet them often. The type of expat that tends to be available to be buddies with is fat old men that like to spend there time in bars shagging hookers. Which is fine but not my cup of tea.

So if you have no family and few friends in Thailand and no job life can get lonely pretty fast.

Finding good women can be a challenge. Most of the girls in apps are prostitutes or ladyboys.

There's a good video about loneliness I saw the other day that I will post below. 

I didn't realise the physical affects it has on people.

It is a common thing and I bet there's a bunch of Reggies in Thailand.

 

[brianthainess]

22 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

So some expats pay to be loved and have someone care for them?

Yes, although my wife loves me, and has her own small shop, I still give her an allowance, that way anything she wants its up to her to buy, easier for me to budget, no sudden expenses.

[transam]

22 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

So some expats pay to be loved and have someone care for them?

If one doesn't like the marriage traditions of the country you want to live in, why come...?   ????

[ChrisKC]

20 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

People who prefer dogs or cats over humans should be avoided at all costs

I have had at least three girlfriends that told me they loved me but didn't show it.

 

I have had four dogs during my life and none of them told me they loved me but they certainly showed i!

 

And I am NOT a human you need to avoid!

[bbko]

21 hours ago, Celsius said:

Why did this loser move to Pattaya?

 

[NextG]

7 minutes ago, ChrisKC said:

I have had at least three girlfriends that told me they loved me but didn't show it.

 

I have had four dogs during my life and none of them told me they loved me but they certainly showed i!

 

And I am NOT a human you need to avoid!

The ones that suggest such silly things in the first place are the ones you do need to avoid. 
If someone takes good care of their animals, they are likely to also take good care of you. It would be their nature. 

 

[Peabody]

20 hours ago, StayinThailand2much said:

It's weird to bring your own to a restaurant. If the tea is not good, why not order something else, and drink the tea at home.

I occasionally bring Old Bay crab and shrimp seasoning to Oishi to add to the hot pot.

[ChrisKC]

40 minutes ago, transam said:

If one doesn't like the marriage traditions of the country you want to live in, why come...?   ????

You might like to consider that not all women require all the marriage traditions to be met, especially as in the case of the OP, that of sinsod or dowry of any kind.

 

 

[georgegeorgia]

4 hours ago, CecilM said:

I’d rather be old and lonely in my country than stay here. So, go home. 

I'm confused ????

[transam]

11 minutes ago, ChrisKC said:

You might like to consider that not all women require all the marriage traditions to be met, especially as in the case of the OP, that of sinsod or dowry of any kind.

 

 

Of course, we are all individuals with individual thoughts, but, farangy's should fully understand traditions here, before they get involved....

 

We always get the tough guy members spouting their "I give nothing" tosh, but do we really know they give nothing............????

[thaibeachlovers]

On 9/13/2023 at 5:31 PM, georgegeorgia said:

He came here to Pattaya he says and now is depressed , sits in his apartment all-day he can't meet a proper partner to love in Pattaya and he misses his weekly Bingo in Australia and his Lawn bowls 

That's on him. My last year in LOS I never had a woman at all, and was never lonely. There is so much to do in LOS that one is never going to find if sitting in the room. One has to go out and look.

Take up a hobby, work at an orphanage or such like. Plenty to do and meet people at same time.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, transam said:

If one doesn't like the marriage traditions of the country you want to live in, why come...?   ????

Because money gets a temporary gf unlike back home, when time with a hooker is measured in minutes, not hours.

[NextG]

3 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

That's on him. My last year in LOS I never had a woman at all, and was never lonely. There is so much to do in LOS that one is never going to find if sitting in the room. One has to go out and look.

Take up a hobby, work at an orphanage or such like. Plenty to do and meet people at same time.

Do you regret leaving? 
We’re your financials really that bad that you couldn’t afford to stick it out?

It’s rare that I see a happy post from you, but you seem more engaged than earlier at least. 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 9/13/2023 at 6:02 PM, georgegeorgia said:

So some expats pay to be loved and have someone care for them?

It's not about "love" whatever that is. It's about having someone around, a warm body to wake up next to, being looked after ( depending on how much one wants to pay ).

Unless one is demented, one knows it's only as long as the money flows in her direction.

[thaibeachlovers]

5 hours ago, CecilM said:

I’d rather be old and lonely in my country than stay here. So, go home. 

I'd rather be old and lonely in a warm country than a cold one.

[transam]

8 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Because money gets a temporary gf unlike back home, when time with a hooker is measured in minutes, not hours.

I wouldn't know about your goings-on, I was a choir boy.........????

[georgegeorgia]

Must say I too would be interested in thaibeachlovers story 

44 minutes ago, NextG said:

Do you regret leaving? 
We’re your financials really that bad that you couldn’t afford to stick it out?

It’s rare that I see a happy post from you, but you seem more engaged than earlier at least. 

 

 

[NextG]

5 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

Must say I too would be interested in thaibeachlovers story 

 

 

In that case, better that he doesn’t reply…

[Tropposurfer]

On 9/13/2023 at 4:39 PM, georgegeorgia said:

Can I just repeat that tommrrw is 

 

R U ok ? Day 

 

Please guys if your at traffic lights on your motorcycle particularly in Pattaya ask the next guy next to you  R U OK ? 

Well done george. Thanks for posting this today.

The catch-phrase 'R U Ok' is not meant to be what one says to people straight up (unless you have an intimate relationships that allows for such direct enquiry).

It is a key, a prompt, to take notice of and make contact with those around you to see how they are managing, coping in their lives.

I encourage those here who reply to such a post with cynical, dismissive, mocking and contemptive tones that they themselves are not doing Ok today.

[xylophone]

As if to back up some of the posts on this thread about being old and alone and having someone to care for you, I experienced something today which really brought it home to me – –

 

Sitting talking to a couple of women I know who own a massage shop, and I've known them for quite a few years now, so I often stop off for a chat, and if I'm making a Thai meal, I cook enough for them as well and they seem to appreciate it. Anyway just across the road we noticed an old farang stumbling along and falling over, and my immediate response was perhaps he was drunk, and one of the women said she thought she recognised him and he wasn't a drinker??

 

Having said that, the two women went over to him and lifted him up, and bought him over to the guesthouse/bar next door, so I asked them if he was drunk/smelling of alcohol and they said no, but they thought there was something wrong with him mentally. When they said this I went over to him to see if he understood English, and to see if I could help, but the only thing I got out of him was that he was Swiss and that he had forgotten his hotel, although he had a hotel key with him (nothing on it to indicate which hotel). He did point up the road somewhere and muttered, so I thought I would walk up the road and see if I could see something which might match the picture on his room key, but no luck, even though I asked a few shopkeepers and motorbike taxi drivers, and they were no help unfortunately.

 

There was a farang sitting nearby, whom I had seen over many years, and who a friend of mine had known, and often said that he was a miserable, grumpy old bar steward, however I thought he might be able to help so I asked if he understood Swiss/German, however this grumpy old bar steward dam near bit my head off with just one or two English words in it but the rest of it was grumpy and loud and he was just obnoxious, so I walked away.

 

I was speaking to the two women who were still sitting next to the poor guy trying to comfort him because he looked a little flustered, and I would say he was either suffering from some sort of dementia, or had a minor stroke or suchlike, but he had no idea where his hotel was unfortunately, and the only thing we could get out of him was a Soi name, and we didn't even know if that was the right one.

 

So I said to one of the women, the one who thought she recognised him, that perhaps we should get a tuk tuk and put him in it and drive to this particular Soi to see if he recognised his hotel, which they thought was a good idea. I also suggested that if they had no luck they should either take him to the hospital or to the police station to see if they could help They both wanted to go with him, so I gave them 500 baht for the tuk tuk fare and off they went.

 

I sat down and spoke to the owner of the massage shop and her sister, and they were puzzled as to why he would be here on his own, and I said maybe he had just had some sort of mental problem, and that it could happen to anybody, although someone should always have the phone number of a friend to help. To which they replied that I was about the same age as him and that I shouldn't worry because if anything happened to me they would come round and take care of me and I only had to let them know and they would be there.

 

In its own way that was very comforting, but it got me thinking about this thread and wondering how many old guys here could be in the same position should a medical event occur.