American man faces dilemma as Thai girlfriend’s parents demand 1 million baht dowry

[snoop1130]

 

An American man asked netizens for advice on what to do after his Thai girlfriend’s family demanded a million baht dowry, known as sinsod in Thailand. He said he loved her very much but was not a foolish farang.

 

The American shared his story on the social media platform Reddit yesterday, September 12. The man began by explaining that he was dating a Thai university student from a province in the Isaan region of Thailand. He expected that his girlfriend did not make much money from her career after graduation but her parents are middle class and own a shipping company.

 

The parents asked the foreign man to give them 1 million baht as a dowry, half of which would go to his fiancée after the wedding ceremony and the other half would be kept by the parents for safekeeping.

 

The American added that the amount was not negotiable whereas his girlfriend believed that the amount was reasonable because they had to show the dowry during the wedding ceremony.

 

The foreign man concluded his post by stating that he would be departing Thailand in two weeks and might not return, leading him to decide to end the relationship.

 

The post garnered over 300 comments from Reddit users. Some individuals online suggested that the dowry served as a form of security for the woman, as her parents might have been concerned that a foreigner would eventually abandon her. Others believed that the parents simply wanted to ensure that the man could provide for their daughter.

 

Some advised the man to end the relationship, as he might end up having to provide even more for the woman and her family in the future. However, the majority of netizens recommended that he should approach his girlfriend and her parents honestly, informing them that he would not pay the dowry, rather than leaving without any explanation.

 

By Petch Petpailin

Captioon: Photo by Ben Stephenson via Flickr

 

Full Story: https://thethaiger.com/news/national/american-man-faces-dilemma-as-thai-girlfriends-parents-demand-1-million-baht-dowry

 

-- The Thaiger 2023-09-13

 

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[Trippy]

He loves her very much, but not a million baht worth.  Too funny. 

[bignok]

2 minutes ago, Trippy said:

He loves her very much, but not a million baht worth.  Too funny. 

Smart guy. 60% likely to get divorced and the 1m baht is lost plus maybe extra money lost. He just saved himself 5 years of grief and 2m probably.

 

On 2m baht he could visit Thailand 20 times on visa exempt and have a great time with many women.

[BritManToo]

Easy answer is just live together, no marriage.

[Trippy]

Just now, bignok said:

Smart guy. 60% likely to get divorced and the 1m baht is lost plus maybe extra money lost. He just saved himself 5 years of grief and 2m probably.

 

On 2m baht he could visit Thailand 20 times on visa exempt and have a great time with many women.

A million baht will get me literally 1,000 short times, screw marriage.

[transam]

1 minute ago, bignok said:

Smart guy. 60% likely to get divorced and the 1m baht is lost plus maybe extra money lost. He just saved himself 5 years of grief and 2m probably.

 

On 2m baht he could visit Thailand 20 times on visa exempt and have a great time with many women.

How old are you, 15....................

[advancebooking]

13 minutes ago, snoop1130 said:

half of which would go to his fiancée after the wedding

Would he not be complaining if the parents had said 'half of which would go to his fiancee AND him after the wedding'. I think that would be fair play. 

 

But the other 500k is a bit rich to be honest assuming that their precious daughter is only attending one of the many low class regional universities that anyone can enrol in with low GPA's. However if she is attending the high class Kon Kaen university studying medicine or dentistry then I think the 500k to the parents is acceptable. 

 

Overall, I would advise the American to run forest run unless she's a firm 10 out of 10 and amazing in bed. 

[1FinickyOne]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Easy answer is just live together, no marriage.

Yes, thankfully nobody will be disappointed with that. 

[MrJ2U]

Sounds like bulls**t.

 

Always a Sinsod story to rile up a forum. 

[bignok]

3 minutes ago, Trippy said:

A million baht will get me literally 1,000 short times, screw marriage.

Man brain - how many bangs

Woman brain - nice ceremony

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

Yes, thankfully nobody will be disappointed with that. 

Offer 2m cos she's so special, but you need time to sell your house back home ....... bang her for a year, then confess you don't have the money so you'll have to call off the wedding.

 

They'll agree cos they're greedy.

[mfd101]

Just say No. Very politely to the parents, very sweetly to your girl.

 

Over to them.

[bignok]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Offer 2m cos she's so special, but you need time to sell your house back home ....... bang her for a year, then confess you don't have the money so you'll have to call off the wedding.

 

They'll agree cos they're greedy.

Genius

[Screaming]

Another old cheap Charley expat comes to Thailand and expects to marry a much younger woman and not pay up. Well Charley, go home and see what you can get there. Not much if anything I presume.

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

The normal solution for this kind of demand, for Thais and farangs alike, is to negotiate with the parents for the family to put up the sinsod for show at the wedding ceremony, and then take the money back themselves once the ceremony is done. That way, face is satisfied.

 

The fact the Redditor involved is apparently unaware that such arrangements are common here is seemingly a bad sign for his familiarity with Thailand and Thai customs.

 

Of course, the daughter could instead end up with a Thai husband up in Isan, who like too many stories reported in the news here over the years, will repeatedly cheat on her with other women, do drugs and drink to excess, become insanely jealous, and ultimately beat/attack her causing serious bodily harm.

 

But hey, it's their daughter, and the parents can decide.

 

 

[transam]

2 minutes ago, Screaming said:

Another old cheap Charley expat comes to Thailand and expects to marry a much younger woman and not pay up. Well Charley, go home and see what you can get there. Not much if anything I presume.

Why do I get the feeling you're not what you make out to be...........

[Ben Zioner]

The parents don't need it, so he shouldn't give anything. I went to marriage office in Banrak and I did'n have to show anything. Never had any of those bull<deleted> weddings. We are still happy after nearly 15 years.

[OneMoreFarang]

To me it seems the parents want to make sure that he doesn't just screw her and than walk away.

If she is the love of his life and if he thinks the parents do it to protect their daughter, then I think 1m is not too much. Most cars cost more than that... 

[KhunLA]

That's not dilemma, that a 'declaration of freedom'.  

 

Simple, either she ignores parents, or he walks away.  I personally would never pay a sin sot, or ask for one for our daughter.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 minute ago, TallGuyJohninBKK said:

Of course, the daughter could instead end up with a Thai husband up in Isan, who like too many stories reported in the news here over the years, will repeatedly cheat on her with other women, do drugs and drink to excess, become insanely jealous, and ultimately beat/attack her causing serious bodily harm.

I think there are also lots of decent Thai guys around. But obviously our entertainment darlings don't tell us about them... 

[bignok]

6 minutes ago, Screaming said:

Another old cheap Charley expat comes to Thailand and expects to marry a much younger woman and not pay up. Well Charley, go home and see what you can get there. Not much if anything I presume.

Where does it say his age? He could be 25yo

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

1 minute ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I think there are also lots of decent Thai guys around. But obviously our entertainment darlings don't tell us about them... 

True, I wasn't trying to paint all Thai guys with the same bad brush... But unfortunately for Thai women, it seems that there are more than enough very bad ones out there as well.

 

[bignok]

4 minutes ago, TallGuyJohninBKK said:

The normal solution for this kind of demand, for Thais and farangs alike, is to negotiate with the parents for the family to put up the sinsod for show at the wedding ceremony, and then take the money back themselves once the ceremony is done. That way, face is satisfied.

 

The fact the Redditor involved is apparently unaware that such arrangements are common here is seemingly a bad sign for his familiarity with Thailand and Thai customs.

 

Of course, the daughter could instead end up with a Thai husband up in Isan, who like too many stories reported in the news here over the years, will repeatedly cheat on her with other women, do drugs and drink to excess, become insanely jealous, and ultimately beat/attack her causing serious bodily harm.

 

But hey, it's their daughter, and the parents can decide.

 

 

Who cares if she does. The yank did the right thing. Used his brain.

[transam]

Why don't farangy's understand, Thai blokes pay sin-sod for their bride to be.

Why should a farangy be any different.......

[Nick Carter icp]

1 minute ago, transam said:

Why don't farangy's understand, Thai blokes pay sin-sod for their bride to be.

Why should a farangy be any different.......

How much was yours and did you get it back afterwards ?

[BenStark]

1 minute ago, transam said:

Why don't farangy's understand, Thai blokes pay sin-sod for their bride to be.

Why should a farangy be any different.......

So I understand you paid for yours, if not you're just trolling

[transam]

7 minutes ago, Ben Zioner said:

The parents don't need it, so he shouldn't give anything. I went to marriage office in Banrak and I did'n have to show anything. Never had any of those bull<deleted> weddings. We are still happy after nearly 15 years.

She was married before....?

[Ben Zioner]

33 minutes ago, Trippy said:

A million baht will get me literally 1,000 short times, screw marriage.

At that 1000 Baht for ST it will cost you a fortune in Antibiotics and Antivirals. 

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

3 minutes ago, transam said:

Why don't farangy's understand, Thai blokes pay sin-sod for their bride to be.

Why should a farangy be any different.......

Some do... some don't.. It all depends on the individuals involved...

 

My general sense is it's becoming a somewhat less common thing, particularly among younger, modern thinking Thais....

 

But even when sinsod DOES occur, it's very common lately for the family to put up the big money for show at the ceremony, and then take it back after everyone's gone home... As I said above, thus face is satisfied.

 

[Adumbration]

Sigh....some guy with a fake account on Reddit posts some fictional click bait story and gets a pathetic 300 replies and now we are expected to chime in on this thread.

 

How utterly depressing the content on this forum has become.