Burning your bridges.

[transam]

2 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

Yeh I burned all of my bridges, few regrets but still in contact with my daughter but only email, who came here last year and I hadn't seen her for 29yrs !  she's coming again next year but for a bit longer. 

Me too, bit of a gamble, but, been here a long time now........😊

[GarryP]

Came here when I was 19 and will be 61 next month. Way back then it wasn't easy to keep in touch with people so no real bridges from the beginning. In the time I have been here, I have only been back to Blighty a handful of times and of those, only two trips were for holidays. Only still in touch with me dad, sister and a close friend and even then I only call home about 3 times a year. Will go back next year for a week or two as my old man is knocking on a bit now (92 next month). 

[brianthainess]

On 11/1/2023 at 9:03 AM, novacova said:

No burnt bridges here, though never been much of an arsonist. 

What about Pyrotechnics?/ explosives, much more fun  💥 I burnt both of these.  

[brianthainess]

10 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

When the end comes, as it will for all of us sooner or later, I want to be in a place where family will be there for me

That could be in a Thai Hospital.

[brianthainess]

6 hours ago, bob smith said:

....what if theres nothing but trouble on the other side of the river though?

Take a boat/fly across and Stay undercover tell no one you have crossed over. 

[Surasak]

On 11/1/2023 at 8:55 AM, bob smith said:

but then i’d never get anything done.

 

least I can still drive my bike pissed..

Until?

[bob smith]

3 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

Take a boat/fly across and Stay undercover tell no one you have crossed over. 

that, my friend, is a good idea.

[brianthainess]

Just now, bob smith said:

that, my friend, is a good idea.

Been there done that, I had to stay for 3months I only met up with 2 friend one was a friend I made here and he and his Thai wife let me stay in an old campervan in his garden, I had little money and was there just to sort out my finances. not see any family. 

[bob smith]

Just now, brianthainess said:

Been there done that, I had to stay for 3months I only met up with 2 friend one was a friend I made here and he and his Thai wife let me stay in an old campervan in his garden, I had little money and was there just to sort out my finances. not see any family. 

nice. 

well thanks for the inspiration! 

[observer90210]

I have burned bridges with all toxic so called "friends" all around. For sure. But it took sometime for me nimble brain to open up my eyes.

 

Discard the the ones who would constsantly have a tendency to make unpleasant comments or remarks on this or that.

 

Get rid of the kind who just call you when they are bored and maybe could not find anybody else to party.

 

Avoid those who always are eager and expecting for you call them over to dine and wine at your energy, time and expense  but never sent the elevator back...not to forget those who just like to push in within your own social circles,  mainly to broaden their agendas or tying enlargen their own network with your acquaintances/friends  and invite them over and not call you ...you know what I mean !! 😉.

 

Not to forget those who manipulate, try to make you feel guilty or bad - the types that elementary psychology (and the psy bible DSM V),  describes as the perverse narcistics.

 

Getting rid of such toxic people gives one sense of freedom, well being and saves one from the toxic energy of such characters. So yes, definately burn the bridges with such people back home and mainly...most important don't repeat similar mistakes in being to nice to those types when in Thailand as they are equally all around. Break the bad bridges and build new ones with better foundations.

 

Sometimes it's better to go out alone, if needed of course socialise, have fun, party with strangers with no strings attached and probably you won't see them again. 

 

Nice and open minded people are unfortunately magnets that attract,  what we call the "users".

 

Better alone then in bad company....who gives a hoot of what anybody can think or say,  if you treat yourself to a fancy restaurant,  alone ?

 

 

[brianthainess]

2 minutes ago, bob smith said:

nice. 

well thanks for the inspiration! 

That was 12 yrs ago, all I had to pay was my share of the electric, Eating together at six pm and watching the Simpsons was compulsory  he rented 3 rooms out to students 2 rooms were couples. I didn't really want to leave but my future wife was waiting for me back here. If I hadn't been able to stay there my last resort was buy and old diesel transit van for 500 quid. and throw a mattress in there.

[n00dle]

On 11/1/2023 at 8:54 AM, stoner said:

 

you should be a pothead instead. 

pothead here. we dont want him.

[stoner]

1 minute ago, n00dle said:

pothead here. we dont want him.

Ya you right. F Bob. 

[brianthainess]

2 minutes ago, n00dle said:

pothead here. we dont want him.

I do I'm having a giggle its just a chat room lightone up

[Seeall]

On 11/1/2023 at 8:14 AM, bob smith said:

ahh i see.

 

sorry to hear about your situation mate.

your situation?  we all pass....

[novacova]

54 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

What about Pyrotechnics?/ explosives, much more fun  💥 I burnt both of these.  

Are you a nuclear arsonist as well?

 

[bob smith]

35 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

That was 12 yrs ago, all I had to pay was my share of the electric, Eating together at six pm and watching the Simpsons was compulsory  he rented 3 rooms out to students 2 rooms were couples. I didn't really want to leave but my future wife was waiting for me back here. If I hadn't been able to stay there my last resort was buy and old diesel transit van for 500 quid. and throw a mattress in there.

where theres a will theres a way! 😉 

[bob smith]

32 minutes ago, stoner said:

Ya you right. F Bob. 

you fallen out with me now?

[stoner]

28 minutes ago, bob smith said:

you fallen out with me now?

Crap. I thought you'd be three sheets to the somchai by now and wouldn't notice.

[bignok]

On 11/1/2023 at 12:44 PM, bob smith said:

this bar stool is hurting my bum..

Sit on it the right way around

[brianthainess]

14 hours ago, bob smith said:

where theres a will theres a way! 😉 

I pre-planned my trip looking for rooms to rent, somewhere where I was familiar with, I only got one offer, I was 60yo at the time, then out of the blue after all my searches my mate then told me I could stay with him in Brighton 👍🏻 how cool was that.

[MarkyM3]

There was a thread recently concerning a guy who had gone back to the UK in his 60s, potless and burned his bridges totally. Bad planning for sure but his experience showed you will be living on the margins on society if you expect on the authorities to take care of you. He was homeless last time he posted on this forum.

 

The UK is one of the more accommodating places in terms of a welfare safety net but the population has jumped (net migration is running around 600k pa if I recall correctly) and they authorities have enough problems dealing with the 100k plus arrived on dinghies in last 5 years. So the red carpet won't be rolled out for those returning to the UK unfortunately, 

 

Another factor to consider is health care. Your right to free health care lapses after a certain period as an expat. People will still get it free if they pitch up and say they've returned for good. But health provision for non-urgent cases is slow in the UK and playing the same hand more than a few times is going to be problematic.

 

Also, you never know when you might need friends from an old life to fall back on or just stay connected. Unless you're a Thai citizen or PR then you are a long-term holidaymaker and nothing more imo. Nothing is guaranteed in your future in Thailand unless you are wealthy enough for money to never be a concern, now or in future.  

[noobexpat]

20 minutes ago, MarkyM3 said:

Nothing is guaranteed in your future in Thailand unless you are wealthy enough for money to never be a concern, now or in future.  

 

I was waiting for this bit and you left it to the end. This is exactly my plan and all that nonsense about never sell your home, is exactly that ...nonsense.

[georgegeorgia]

15 hours ago, noobexpat said:

 

I was waiting for this bit and you left it to the end. This is exactly my plan and all that nonsense about never sell your home, is exactly that ...nonsense.

What do you mean it's nonsense?

I'm having two minds about selling my home in Australia when I retire to Asia 

What if something happens,I need to come back to Australia

 

 

[TroubleandGrumpy]

15 hours ago, noobexpat said:

 

I was waiting for this bit and you left it to the end. This is exactly my plan and all that nonsense about never sell your home, is exactly that ...nonsense.

I agree with both the post by @MarkyM3 and yourself.  We have not 'burned the bridge' but we did burn everything on the other side to the ground. We have no intentions of ever returning, but we will maintain our Passports and therefore the right to go back at any time it is ever needed. Fully burning the bridge means giving up citizenship and letting your Passport expoire.  Becoming a Citizen or PR is just not an option in my situation, so therefore IMO having the option of going back is wise.  You never know if you are going to get a serious medical problem that will take years and lots of money that you dont have to treat. You never know if your 'Tourist' Visa is going to be cancelled for some breach of Thai laws or from a run-in with a powerful Thai person. And many other reasons.  Dont burn the bridge, but burn/sell everything on the other side.   

[TroubleandGrumpy]

1 minute ago, georgegeorgia said:

What do you mean it's nonsense?

I'm having two minds about selling my home in Australia when I retire to Asia 

What if something happens,I need to come back to Australia

 

Rent for a while, then buy - if you have the money.

Not sure of your CLink situation, but if you have that 'asset' it can affect your payments.

Likewise, any rent you receive will be taxable from $1 onwards - no tax free threshold when not a 'Tax Resident' (check ATO site).

Main issue is to have an 'address' that you will be able to use for many years - family member or a good friend.

Before leaving 'move' into that house (get a rental agreement for 1 room) and change to that address with everyone (Govt, Banks, Licence, etc). 

 

[noobexpat]

1 hour ago, georgegeorgia said:

What do you mean it's nonsense?

I'm having two minds about selling my home in Australia when I retire to Asia 

What if something happens,I need to come back to Australia

 

 

 

You fly back in a plane, not a house.

There is nothing that having the funds can't achieve.

[GinBoy2]

31 minutes ago, noobexpat said:

 

You fly back in a plane, not a house.

There is nothing that having the funds can't achieve.

Nothing wrong with hedging your bets.

 

A Thai who gets permanent resident in <insert western country> is essentially treated the same as a citizen

 

As a foreigner in Thailand, with the exception of a tiny percentage of one percent who get permanent resident status you will always be nothing more than  a long stay tourist, extending that annual visa and those 90 day reports.

 

The Thai government could click their fingers and change the rules overnight.

 

So that escape plan shouldn't be viewed as fanciful, but more of an essential part of living in Thailand

[noobexpat]

21 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

you will always be nothing more than  a long stay tourist, extending that annual visa and those 90 day reports.

 

The Thai government could click their fingers and change the rules overnight.

 

5 year visa and applied to extend to 20 yrs. A non issue for me.

 

'you will always be nothing more than a long stay tourist' - said nobody of affluent means, because we simply don't care! 

Monaco citizenship only requires 1m euro! Maybe they will have me.

 

My bets are hedged via being completely liquid/invested against inflation and currency exchange.

 

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, GinBoy2 said:

Nothing wrong with hedging your bets.

 

A Thai who gets permanent resident in <insert western country> is essentially treated the same as a citizen

 

As a foreigner in Thailand, with the exception of a tiny percentage of one percent who get permanent resident status you will always be nothing more than  a long stay tourist, extending that annual visa and those 90 day reports.

 

The Thai government could click their fingers and change the rules overnight.

 

So that escape plan shouldn't be viewed as fanciful, but more of an essential part of living in Thailand

You forget you are only talking about foreign men.

It's way easier for a foreign woman married to a Thai man.

 

As for being elderly and  alone in Thailand,

Again only a problem for you as you married a Thai woman too old to have children with you.