Sexual assault in an international school

[Robert Paulson]

1 hour ago, sungod said:

I sincerely hope you are not home schooling in English grammar, yours is appalling.

Nice statement bro. It seems it would go without saying to anyone not obtuse that I don’t pontificate much on my grammar on here, nor should anyone. Are we supposed to be Hemingway on here or something. I can do ye ol grammar just fine if I need to.  

[Robert Paulson]

1 hour ago, impulse said:

 

When do the kids learn to share, resolve conflict (which will serve them later at work), and to wait their turn, and learn social skills, and how to navigate social hierarchy?  30 kids in a class is a mixed blessing/curse.  Great preparation for thriving in the office, that's going to look much the same.

 

People continuously amaze me. Idk bro when they are with their friends. When they are doing activities they love and are passionate about, even with a few of their friends who hopefully share the same passions. 
 

I think the better question is why are we locking active kids up in classrooms in the physical primes of their lives. Why are we not letting them develop passions they have? 
 

Classroom setting is a fabricated environment that’s been manipulated into the collective conscious to make us better tax payers. School isn’t some amazing place where children unlock their minds. It’s a quasi jail sentence for most of them. And don’t even get me started on teachers. Why don’t people admit their kids’ teachers can be god only knows what kind of perverts or psychos. And I know from experience none of them care. Most of them only care about good students in my experience. 

[roo860]

Enrol her into the local Thai Boxing Academy.

[pedro01]

Home schoolers are like bloody vegans. Cant go 5 mins without telling people abt it. 😉

 

Sent from my I pho ne

[soi3eddie]

If this was my daughter I'd be giving her all the support she needed too. Seems that the OP @pedro01 has good communications with his daughter. She is not afraid to communicate so reassurance from father that everything will be done to stop it from happening again. I'd be livid and demand a face to face (recorded) meeting with the school principal and school owners seeking resolution to stop this happening again to any child. Next, I would enrol my daughter (or son) into self defence class teaching how to fend off physical attacks/unwanted contact and also how to deal with it emotionally. If this was in UK, USA, Australia or Europe, imagine the <deleted> storm that would fall onto the school. Wishing the OP best resolution.

 

[tandor]

12 hours ago, pedro01 said:

My daughter (half English/half Thai) was sexually assaulted 2 times this week on a school trip. In one case a boy groped her in the swimming pool, then yesterday she was surrounded by a gang of 4 boys who started to touch her butt and breasts. One of the students in the latter attack had already been 'punished' for taking photographs up my daughters skirt. The punishment was suspension. For this offence his punishment is going to be "isolation" - so he's allowed at school but is supposed to stay away from my daughter. After 2 assaults. 

In the oldest attack, my daughter was surrounded by boys again and they started pulling on her bra. Two attacks occurred on school grounds and the other two on a school residential trip in Rayong.

That totals 4 sexual assaults against my daughter - all under school supervision. This is not just happening to my daughter at the school - but the girls are too afraid to come forward because they fear what the boys will do.

I would like your thoughts on civil/criminal action in this case. At the end of the day - it's sexual assault on a minor. Any good tips on lawyers would be good too!
 

Methinks you're jeopardising your case by going public here..this is a private matter between you and the Police..get moving!

[JeffersLos]

International schools in Thailand.

 

Name: Victoria Elizabeth Mountbatten International School.

Classes: 16 Chinese, 2 Indians, 2 Caucasians. 

 

Send her to a better school. 

[SportRider]

10 hours ago, NorthernRyland said:

Does international schools mean non-Thai students? Some cultures tolerate this and consider it "boys will be boys" etc... maybe even Thailand is like this but I've never seen it myself.

Generally English language based with foreign teachers and western curriculum. 

Some provide extremely good education. 

Many hi-so Thai families send their kids to these schools. 

Unfortunately if daddy owns a company the kids often aren't motivated to learn.  Instead, disruption. 

[Drumbuie]

11 hours ago, Robert Paulson said:

Teaching kids is the most important job we have. I can’t believe people leave it to other people. I mean that’s just insane who knows who this person could be. I think you’re just making excuses rearrange your life so you can teach your kids. And you seriously have got to be kidding me you don’t think you can out teach a teacher who is dealing with 30 kids at once and you are one on one? I find it insane one parent needs to get with it and teach their kids in all families, if not both parents. 

In international schools, the teacher pupil ratio isn't 1:30,: in my granddaughter's class it's about 1:5 and that's without including the excellent Thai teaching assistants. 

In her school the aim is not to ape the traditions of the snobby, repressive private schools of the UK and the USA. Every time family are invited to visit the school, I am impressed by how happy and confident the children are, and how proud they are of the work they're doing, how well they're socialised. 

Thee is no way any parent could replicate that nurturing and stimulating environment on their own. 

[Presnock]

13 hours ago, DavisH said:

Go to the press if you are not satisfied with the school's repercussions. The school won't be named for obvious reasons, but word will spread as to which school it is. School's always want to stay out of the news for issues like this. Try Amarin tv. 

I totally agree with this suggestion... go to the press get the school well known for this kind of crap!  As mentioned, international schools here usually are more expensive that the universities here so no family should be subjected to this type of harassment.  HS is rough enough mentally and to add this to it makes it even worse.  If the school can't fix it then it should be closed!

[Peterphuket]

10 hours ago, sungod said:

I sincerely hope you are not home schooling in English grammar, yours is appalling.

Not everyone who stays here is from England or the United States, a little respect would be in order.

[sungod]

7 minutes ago, Peterphuket said:

Not everyone who stays here is from England or the United States, a little respect would be in order.

 No, he is talking about home schooling.

 

Wonder if his Thai is any better?

[Presnock]

28 minutes ago, Drumbuie said:

In international schools, the teacher pupil ratio isn't 1:30,: in my granddaughter's class it's about 1:5 and that's without including the excellent Thai teaching assistants. 

In her school the aim is not to ape the traditions of the snobby, repressive private schools of the UK and the USA. Every time family are invited to visit the school, I am impressed by how happy and confident the children are, and how proud they are of the work they're doing, how well they're socialised. 

Thee is no way any parent could replicate that nurturing and stimulating environment on their own. 

My daughter went to local schools for 5 years - that was more than enough for me so we opted for a new school - but that too only lasted one year due to poor management in my opinion so we then sent our daughter to CM international school.  Too refreshing to even explain how our daughter's view of education became so strong.  She graduated having learned (and even taught at other schools after class) 4 different languages, excelled in math without having to take any extra classes.  She participated in extracurricular activities including sports and clubs.  Great teachers and facilities.   My opinion anyway based on our experience here.  I have an older daughter that graduated from the International School Rome, having been in international schools in the PI, Thailand, Spain and Rome and the only problem students were usually rich locals attending in preparation to go to overseas colleges.  Just saying.

8 minutes ago, Peterphuket said:

Not everyone who stays here is from England or the United States, a little respect would be in order.

Yeah, seems we have too many English speakers that think they are still teachers of English and the readers are their students.  

[Presnock]

13 hours ago, pedro01 said:

 

This happened last night. The school did not contact me at all. This morning my daughter called me to explain what happened - apparently one of the teachers told her to make the call. 

 

I sent a strongly worded email to the school about it and the "head of secondary" called me 30 mins after sending. Not the headmaster, not the school owner - it only warranted contact from the head of secondary. He had nothing to say at all. He tried to explain why I'd gotten no call about it - like "we were still gathering details" - well how about f*** the details and let me know immediately when my daughter is assaulted. But how cowardly to not call, eh?

 

One lawyer is suggesting criminal action against the school, the students and the parents of those students. They are also suggesting a report to the ministry of education.

 

But how messed up is this? I'll have to take my daughter out of that school to protect her - yet those committing sexual assault get to stay.

Absolutely not! don't penalize the victim as they try to do here so often.  Make the school terminate permanently those students responsible for this - yeah they prob have rich parents but unless someone doesn't stop this type of activity, it will probably only get worse.  The press is your best bet it seems to me unless the school penalizes those responsible to your satisfaction!

 

[Presnock]

13 hours ago, thainet said:

The worst thing is the mental state of the girl after transgressions like this. My daughters best friend had similiar assaults at a well known Bangkok School about 8 years ago, and she went into a depressive shell for a very long time and still has nightmares. The boys of course (all rich family) were given some school cleaning duties for a week. This behavior really sucks.

 

Yessir, penalize the victim yet let the rich skate and then when they do something really bad it is too late!  Stop this type of activity immediately by kicking those kids responsisble out of school!

[nobodysfriend]

14 hours ago, pedro01 said:

That totals 4 sexual assaults against my daughter - all under school supervision. This is not just happening to my daughter at the school - but the girls are too afraid to come forward because they fear what the boys will do.

 

These boys need to learn ' respect ' .

As that is not taught in Thai schools , I would ask your daughter to clearly indentify them , and pay somebody thai to teach them a lesson that is not normally taught in school ... that does not mean that violence has to be implied , but they need to learn some respect . There are 199 ways to do that in a way they won't forget .

 

[Cereal]

12 hours ago, impulse said:

 

Most of us work for a living, and very few have the training to teach, even in subjects where we're experts.  Knowing something inside and out isn't the same as teaching it. 

 

It's an admirable endeavor.  But not practical for most families.

 

This is true. I am a school director and the worst teachers I ever had were university professors with all that alphabet soup after their names. 

 

Plus, home schooling lacks the social aspect of going to school. Children grow up without the learned ability of working within a group, which is a vital aspect of working life. Especially in Asia. 

 

No, go to a lawyer. Then let him/her go to the media.

 

Plus, the OP sounds like a Canadian. Who else would actually write the word eh? I know, I do and I'm a Canuck.

 

Get the Canadian media involved. Call the Canadian Embassy. The new Canadian Ambassador is unique. She is the first and only Ambassador to a country in which she was born! She is Lao, born here and emigrated to Canada at a very young age. She is the Canadian Ambassador to Thailand, Lao and Cambodia. File a complaint with her. Then go to the Canadian media. They'd run with this and then talk about the school losing face!

[Cereal]

14 hours ago, pedro01 said:

My daughter (half English/half Thai) was sexually assaulted 2 times this week on a school trip. In one case a boy groped her in the swimming pool, then yesterday she was surrounded by a gang of 4 boys who started to touch her butt and breasts. One of the students in the latter attack had already been 'punished' for taking photographs up my daughters skirt. The punishment was suspension. For this offence his punishment is going to be "isolation" - so he's allowed at school but is supposed to stay away from my daughter. After 2 assaults. 

In the oldest attack, my daughter was surrounded by boys again and they started pulling on her bra. Two attacks occurred on school grounds and the other two on a school residential trip in Rayong.

That totals 4 sexual assaults against my daughter - all under school supervision. This is not just happening to my daughter at the school - but the girls are too afraid to come forward because they fear what the boys will do.

I would like your thoughts on civil/criminal action in this case. At the end of the day - it's sexual assault on a minor. Any good tips on lawyers would be good too!
 

You sound Canadian. Who else would actually write the word eh? I know, I do and I'm a Canuck.

 

Go to a lawyer. Then let him/her go to the media and call the Canadian Embassy.

 

Get the Canadian media involved. Call the Canadian Embassy. The new Canadian Ambassador is unique. She is the first and only Ambassador to a country in which she was born! She is Lao, born here and emigrated to Canada at a very young age. She is the Canadian Ambassador to Thailand, Lao and Cambodia. File a complaint with her. Then go to the Canadian media. They'd run with this and then talk about the school losing face!

[jayboy]

10 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

A bit harsh to expel students for this I think.

 

Why? A serious assault like that described would almost certainly lead to expulsion in the British private sector.The lazy boys will be boys defense won't wash.

[Bangkok Barry]

12 hours ago, Robert Paulson said:

Teaching kids is the most important job we have. I can’t believe people leave it to other people. I mean that’s just insane who knows who this person could be. I think you’re just making excuses rearrange your life so you can teach your kids. And you seriously have got to be kidding me you don’t think you can out teach a teacher who is dealing with 30 kids at once and you are one on one? I find it insane one parent needs to get with it and teach their kids in all families, if not both parents. 

 

Thailand is overcrowded with people who do jobs they are not qualified for. You think teachers come straight off the street into a teaching job, with no training? Is that what happens in your country? No, I thought not. Yet you are calling this parent insane for not being prepared to do exactly that. Most parents have a full-time job, so where do you think he'd find the time to also be a full-time teacher?

[Tongjaw]

13 hours ago, pedro01 said:

 

This happened last night. The school did not contact me at all. This morning my daughter called me to explain what happened - apparently one of the teachers told her to make the call. 

 

I sent a strongly worded email to the school about it and the "head of secondary" called me 30 mins after sending. Not the headmaster, not the school owner - it only warranted contact from the head of secondary. He had nothing to say at all. He tried to explain why I'd gotten no call about it - like "we were still gathering details" - well how about f*** the details and let me know immediately when my daughter is assaulted. But how cowardly to not call, eh?

 

One lawyer is suggesting criminal action against the school, the students and the parents of those students. They are also suggesting a report to the ministry of education.

 

But how messed up is this? I'll have to take my daughter out of that school to protect her - yet those committing sexual assault get to stay.

Rather than spend your time asking questions here, be a proper dad, get in your car and go and get your daughter. She must be terrified and confused yet you’re asking guys here what to do!!
I find it hard to fathom why you haven’t gone to the authorities or removed your daughter from the school.  

[FritsSikkink]

14 hours ago, pedro01 said:

 

Haven't contacted the police yet as I'd prefer to let the lawyer do that. Plus - they are still on a school trip. Those buys got sent home but still...l

Jeez get your daughter out of the school trip and help her get over this.

File a complaint at the police asap.

Contact the head of the school and demand that the boys get kicked out of the school.

[BKKBike09]

14 hours ago, pedro01 said:

This happened last night. The school did not contact me at all. This morning my daughter called me to explain what happened - apparently one of the teachers told her to make the call. 

 

I sent a strongly worded email to the school about it and the "head of secondary" called me 30 mins after sending. Not the headmaster, not the school owner - it only warranted contact from the head of secondary. He had nothing to say at all. He tried to explain why I'd gotten no call about it - like "we were still gathering details" - well how about f*** the details and let me know immediately when my daughter is assaulted. But how cowardly to not call, eh?

 

One lawyer is suggesting criminal action against the school, the students and the parents of those students. They are also suggesting a report to the ministry of education.

 

But how messed up is this? I'll have to take my daughter out of that school to protect her - yet those committing sexual assault get to stay.

 

How old is your daughter and how is she feeling about all this? That's critical. Some girls will be traumatised, others can be tough as nails and shrug it off. Does she want to be pulled out of the trip or - now the boys in question have been sent home - does she prefer to stay with her friend group?

 

To play devil's advocate, you don't appear to have all the facts yet. 

 

Before getting lawyers / cops / NGOs involved, DEMAND a meeting with the headmaster TODAY and make clear that you want to know exactly what happened and what the school is going to do.

 

Take things from there.

[fredwiggy]

This is, and has been happening weekly all over Thailand for a very long time, both by other students and by teachers, and much of the time nothing or very little is being done to punish those involved, which means less girls will be willing to come forward and name their predators, so this will continue to escalate, because if nothing's done, predators will continue to prey. First of all, believe your daughter what she is saying, and stand by her side. Your daughter should be removed immediately, and the international police should be made to file charges also immediately. Forget local police as they'll do nothing. I know what I would do if this happened to my daughter, and this is reason one why I will leave this country with my daughter as soon as I can arrange moving back to Texas with her. You can google a hundred links about this problem. This is but one...............https://thethaiger.com/news/national/thai-organisations-demand-stronger-action-against-sexual-harassment-in-education

[Celsius]

People pay top dollar to receive prestigious Thai education in "international" schools.

[metisdead]

Off topic deflection posts trolling about Trump have been removed.

[fredwiggy]

10 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

A bit harsh to expel students for this I think.
 

Surely should be dealt with so they know not to do it again, but expelling  15 year old boys ruining their education, or involving police, media and lawyers is a bit much. They are just learning.

 

If a teacher did it then castrate him, but 15 year old boys pulling at girls bra straps need to be given a second chance. Part of growing up.

If I was the father I would give the boys a good clip around the ear and a stern warning after school one day.

But not involve all the others.

At 15  boy should know, and have been taught, respect and off limits behavior, by their DADS. This country has about as high absent dads than any other place on earth, and this is why many aren't being taught respect for women. Buddhism also teaches them that girls, and women, are inferior, which tells them they can do anything they want to them. These boys deserve charges, expulsion and a record, nothing less. Hitting your son after he does this will not solve the problem because this is sexual abuse and control, and that's ingrained behavior that needs professional help.

[Wrwest]

13 hours ago, impulse said:

 

Most of us work for a living, and very few have the training to teach, even in subjects where we're experts.  Knowing something inside and out isn't the same as teaching it. 

 

It's an admirable endeavor.  But not practical for most families.

 

Thank you. The idea that all parents are as capable to teach flies in the face of reality. OK, I am rather prejudiced but based on 41 years teaching at the US middle school, high school and college undergraduate levels.

[Freddy42OZ]

13 hours ago, Robert Paulson said:

Teaching kids is the most important job we have. I can’t believe people leave it to other people. I mean that’s just insane who knows who this person could be. I think you’re just making excuses rearrange your life so you can teach your kids. And you seriously have got to be kidding me you don’t think you can out teach a teacher who is dealing with 30 kids at once and you are one on one? I find it insane one parent needs to get with it and teach their kids in all families, if not both parents. 

 

I went to very good schools and am considered quite smart.  There is no way I could teach maths, physics, chemistry, geography, French, Spanish, Latin, economics or the woodworking, metalworking etc that I was taught at school. 

I still know a bit about all the things I was taught but nowhere near enough to teach a kid to the level required to pass O or A level exams.

Also I had 9 different teachers at school, one for each subject.  

 

[Freddy42OZ]

15 hours ago, pedro01 said:

My daughter (half English/half Thai) was sexually assaulted 2 times this week on a school trip.

Sorry this happened to your daughter and I hope she'll be ok. 

Unfortunately this has been happening in schools everywhere for decades.  I'm not defending the boys actions but this even happens in all girls schools and all boys schools.  My sister went to an all girls public school and had girls tease her about her breasts and try pulling off her bra, I went to an all boys public school and saw some boys getting sexually ridiculed because they were developing faster and then later the same thing happened to the ones who developed slower.  Puberty is a complex time for kids. 

The school needs to sit all the students (perhaps of a certain age) down and give them some education about puberty and what is and isn't acceptable now that they are all developing.  

I suspect however that sexual health topics are not taught very well, if at all.