Has anyone had a good experience dating/marrying a bar girl or prostitute in Thailand?

[SingAPorn]

Ok we get it. Not all bar girls, part-time hookers or freelance prostitutes are bad..not all...and the other way, not all decent appearing bank executives are the crème-de-la crème. Fine. Roger that

 

But how can you be sure you hit on the right one, considering that the falang is always openly or secretly considered mainly as the the golden goose, not matter how much the newly met lady may try to convice that she is not with you for your ca$h,.  despite the 20 year age difference ?!! .-)

 

Many women in Thailand or Japan are masters in the art to lure in the guilable and once the papers signed, the nightmare can start

 

So what to do ?

 

Simple. Like anything else, don't buy, rent !! And if possible, start to look around in other Asian countries that are culurally more respectful towards foreigners, compared to what Thailand has become.

[ericthai]

10 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

I am getting married later this year.

My soon to be wife is the best woman I have ever met.

We met in London in 2020 during Covid and our love grew from there.

 

She was a single mother at 19 and came from an area in Thailand known for poverty. I don’t think she would have chosen to do it if she had other options. She didn’t do it because she was greedy and a drug addict. 
 

She has built a nice home for her parents and her children (she has 2, the youngest I might adopt, but has the body of a teenager) and supported them all and brought them up to a middle class standard of life. She has also bought some land which she rents out and a condo in Pattaya which also gives her some passive income.

 

The culture is different here than in the west and she is highly respected for “taking care” of her family. And sex work is not frowned upon like in the West, with most Thai women doing some sort of sex work at some point of their lives. A lot of them are good girls who don’t even drink alcohol. My girl doesn’t have tattoos and thinks they are “dirty”.

 

Thai women are famous for it all around the world. It is an acceptable occupation for the pretty women to get them out of the poverty trap. My wife is a real head turner.

And smart. Very smart.

How many people do you know that have never paid for a Thai woman? Not many I bet.

A lot of westerners I have met with Thai women make up stories about how they met and you know they are living a lie. 

A few of my long time friends back home said some nasty things about her and I chose to never speak to them again. Other friends have got to know her and think she is great.
Not a single Thai has said anything untoward as it is normal here.
 

I have never been happier and we are at an age that we will happily settle down together. I haven’t got a crystal ball but sometimes you “just know.”

 

Love conquers all.

 

 

you need to wake up and stop believing everything your girlfriend/wife tells you.  

Sorry to tell you this, but other Thai women do look down on girls working in bars.

 

an example, one of my friends is always with a different bar girl.  He came to a party we had when opening a new office. All the office girls talked about 

the bar girl he brought to the party for the next week.  Thai women gossip so much!!

[Kinnock]

5 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

Some time ago I saw an interview with an Arab guy. They talked about women and the Arab guy said they had a word for prostitute and another word for a slut (a woman who goes with many guys without payment).

Both words were swearwords if you wanted to insult someone.

The funny part is that prostitute was the milder version of a swearwords, slut was a very strong swearwords.

And the explanation was/is: If she has to go with many men to make money to live, then she does that because she has no other choice. But if she doesn't have to do it and still goes with many men, then she is obviously someone really undesirable.

I found that very interesting. 

 

Quotes from misogynistic cultures about women say more about the speaker than the subject of the quote.

 

And what's the 'Arab guys' word for a man who sleeps with lots of women .... I'm guessing it's not a negative term.🙄

[bkk6060]

They usually give good sex and talk a good game.  Many guys fall for it most not smart enough to figure it out.

And, how can you really ever trust them?   I know married guys to these girls and they sure put up with a lot of BS.

Up to you.

[Keeps]

3 hours ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Well, the women you have come into contact with, maybe.  Your spurious, defamatory claim about Thai women is nonsense (unless you have some evidence) and contravenes the forum rules. 

 

49 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

Oh no. Another one. Are you friends with young Richard?

This thread is about dating and marrying Thai prostitutes right?

 

Have you ever done it Lou? And how many on this forum haven’t ever been with a Thai female?
They are famous around the world.

Dont be so woke. 

 

Whoa! You've poked the bear now. I wait with bated breath for LL's response.....

[Northstar1]

13 hours ago, mstevens said:

When there are so many wonderful, relationship-minded women in Thailand, why would you even consider dating or, God forbid, marrying a hooker?

Ask Brewster budgeon, he married a bargirl .

[JoseThailand]

1 hour ago, SingAPorn said:

But how can you be sure you hit on the right one, considering that the falang is always openly or secretly considered mainly as the the golden goose, not matter how much the newly met lady may try to convice that she is not with you for your ca$h,.  despite the 20 year age difference ?!! .-)

 

 

A 20 year age difference is not that much to suspect her of being necessarily a gold digger. A lot of girls are naturally attracted to more mature and experienced guys. But if the age gap is 30-40 years (common theme in Thailand), you may start being suspicious.

 

 

Edited June 6 by JoseThailand

[still kicking]

12 hours ago, brewsterbudgen said:

Define "good experience"?  I met my wife 15 years ago in Pattaya and we've been married for 8 years, with a 9-year-old child.  Fingers crossed it remains a successful relationship/marriage, but who knows what the future holds?

Well, a lot of guys say don't get involved on the internet. I met my wife on Facebook more than 20 years ago and we are still married and no she wasn't a bargirl she worked at a university but that does not mean all bar girls are bad.

[save the frogs]

1 hour ago, ericthai said:

you need to wake up and stop believing everything your girlfriend/wife tells you.  

Sorry to tell you this, but other Thai women do look down on girls working in bars.

 

an example, one of my friends is always with a different bar girl.  He came to a party we had when opening a new office. All the office girls talked about 

the bar girl he brought to the party for the next week.  Thai women gossip so much!!

of course, but thats because the bar girls represent a threat to normal girls.

 

women that give up sex easily (bar girls, sluts) take competition away from girls who want men to settle down with them, buy them a home, etc .... 

 

so of course bar girls are hated by mainstream girls. It's a bit silly to try to mix the two worlds and take a bar girl to a party with normal people. 

 

 

[stoner]

11 hours ago, connda said:

Define "prostitute."

Most women I've met could fall into that category other than hard-core feminists.  It's amazing how "wet" a Western farang gal can get for a wealthy, handsome guy especially one who is also a total Dick Richard, or a band member, or pro athlete, or socially connected, or economically connected.  Off come the skirt and it's horizontal mambo time.

Then you come to a third-world or developing world country where the concept of Christian-morality isn't at the top of anyone's list.  Even here in Thailand what is considered to be "traditional conservative Thai values" were in fact Western conservative Christian values that were imposed on the Thai natives by the leader of the 1932 Siamese Revolution by the military leader Plaek Phibunsongkhram.  He implemented the "Thai Great Tradition" and the "12 Thai Cultural Mandates".  The mandates go a long way in explaining Thailand nationalism as well as their dislike and distrust of foreigners especially at the elite levels of society.  Well, not that many farangs study history nowadays, no less Thai history.

 

But back to conservatism. 

 

What is pronounced a Thai cultural conservatism in dress and action was actually the result of Thai cultural mandate Number 10 implemented circa Jan 15, 1941.

• "Thai people should not appear at public gatherings, in public places, or in city limits without being appropriately dressed. Inappropriate dress includes wearing only underpants, wearing no shirt, or wearing a wraparound cloth."
• "Appropriate dress for Thai people consists of:
  • "Uniforms, as position and opportunity permits;
  • "Polite international-style attire;
  • "Polite traditional attire."

So essentially in one fell swoop - just like that - Thais were mandated to embrace Western attire and Western morality.  This was force on them by their military "leaders."  Thai conservatism isn't an "organic" occurrence.  It was mandated.  (Caveat - some of those outlawed dress styles like "wraparound cloth" became culturally appropriate post 2014 with Prayut in charge as Thai began to re-embrace their culture dress from the past.)

So you now have a very conflicted society, one that on the surface espouses conservatism in dress and morals, but underneath the facade? 

Giks, mia nois, shower massages (òp-àap-nuat), curtain hotels, karaoke bars (you think they just sing?) and that's basically a Thai cultural phenomenon geared for Thai men and one that is "Shhhhhh" rather disavowed unless you interact with Thai culture and society at a deeper level than foreign tourists, or even expats, encounter.

Then there is the bar scene geared specifically toward farangs and other foreign men.  And this scene gets all the attention in the press ("Don't look at the Giks, mia nois, shower massages (òp-àap-nuat), curtain hotels, karaoke bars - look at the bad farang sex-pats!!!")
So the gals who engage in the farang bar scene obtain the hypocritical labels Western men reserve for "loose women," e.g. "whores, prostitutes, sluts, etc," which of course is actually reflective of Western Christian morality.  "But I'm an Athetist!  Grrrr."  Yeah, but you reflect Christian morality with your actions and your language, "Bar-girls are all Whores!"  and "yada yada yada." 

Now - "Go native" and live here long enough outside the confines of farang gated communities and farang social clubs - and you see the realities pretty clearly: Sex in Thailand is a commodity and its widely for sale. Those engaged in the sex trade could be your next door neighbor (gigs and mia nois).  In the cities your next door neighbor could be working in karaoke bars or in shower massages.  The perky little university gal living in the next apartment over could be a side-line girl in a shower massage to pick up a quick 1000 THB before heading to the clubs, or finding sugar daddies on Tinder and other social media platforms.  Even your female "caddy" at your golf course probably makes significantly more money from her after hours liaisons with her day-time clients by "straighten your putter" on the 19th hole rather than what she makes by handing you your putter on the 18th hole.

But for the average expat or tourist closeted in their own cultural and social worlds - you don't see what is below the surface in plain sight. 

So do "bar-girls" make a "good date" or a "good wife?"  Well - as good as any Thai women who works in that particular trade be it in the Western farang community or the Thai male community.  It has a lot more to do with true Thai "culture" than it does a Thai woman's temporary choice of rather lucrative jobs.

 

 

great comment. thanks for that little piece of history. back to my office girl....she's different. 

[harryviking]

You can always get the girl out of the bar, but it is hard to get the bar out of the girl!! Just mentioning it....

[Hummin]

17 minutes ago, harryviking said:

You can always get the girl out of the bar, but it is hard to get the bar out of the girl!! Just mentioning it....

Another bull<deleted>, bar girls is not one homogeneous group where everyone is the same. Most bar girls I hanged out with, was sporty, had good language, drink little, and was far from any girls often described here. As much the girl, it is also about the bar they work. Some bars keeps their girls all evening to sell more beer, have more guests, instead of running short time business and cheap bar fines. 

 

It is more about the bars you frequently visits, and the girls who goes with you. 

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, SingAPorn said:

Many women in Thailand or Japan are masters in the art to lure in the guilable and once the papers signed

 

Many women in Thailand or Japan all over the world are masters in the art to lure in the guilable and once the papers signed

 

For me that is the reason to never marry. Problem solved - at least with Thai law.

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, ericthai said:

you need to wake up and stop believing everything your girlfriend/wife tells you.  

Sorry to tell you this, but other Thai women do look down on girls working in bars.

 

an example, one of my friends is always with a different bar girl.  He came to a party we had when opening a new office. All the office girls talked about 

the bar girl he brought to the party for the next week.  Thai women gossip so much!!

 

In principle I agree with you. And I don't bring my gf to any of those parties because of that (and the fact that she doesn't want to see those office girls as well).

 

But those office girls, or basically any group of females, almost always find something bad about that outsider of the group. It seems that is part of the female nature. 

[mstevens]

13 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Maybe we just need a couple of stories from guys who married good girls and got divorced and who lost their money.

So, whatever happens with bar girls, the problem exists not only with bar girls. 

 

That's kind of like saying someone got murdered in Johannesburg and someone else got murdered in Frankfurt so Johannesburg and Frankfurt are equally dangerous when it's obvious that there is a big difference between the two.

[Hummin]

2 hours ago, still kicking said:

Well, a lot of guys say don't get involved on the internet. I met my wife on Facebook more than 20 years ago and we are still married and no she wasn't a bargirl she worked at a university but that does not mean all bar girls are bad.

Fb? 20 yars ago?

 

When did fb become open world wide for everyone?

[pomchop]

15 hours ago, brewsterbudgen said:

Define "good experience"?  I met my wife 15 years ago in Pattaya and we've been married for 8 years, with a 9-year-old child.  Fingers crossed it remains a successful relationship/marriage, but who knows what the future holds?

also define "prostitute".....there are many ways to receive $$ for sex especially when the gal is hot with a great body and the guy is old and wrinkled with a great wallet.

[save the frogs]

1 hour ago, Hummin said:

Fb? 20 yars ago?

 

When did fb become open world wide for everyone?

facebook came out in 2004

so still kicking might be one of the very first fb marriages!

 

[DonniePeverley]

17 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I met my gf in a bar. She was the cutest dancer on stage. I took her out of the bar, and we are mostly happy together since many years.

She had just started to work in a bar, her bigger sister decided that is what she should.....

 

 

 

 

Funny how many of them just 'started' to work in a bar a few weeks ago. Roflmao 

[Hummin]

7 minutes ago, DonniePeverley said:

 

 

Funny how many of them just 'started' to work in a bar a few weeks ago. Roflmao 

The good pretty girls doesnt last long in a bar before they run away with a customer if it was a bf they where looking for! 

[thaibeachlovers]

14 hours ago, JRG23 said:

35 years ago I married a Thai girl, a well-educated trainee lawyer from a respectible family. She became a lawyer a few years after we married and lived in BKK.

 

We divorced 15 years after marrying. Dreadful marriage, no love between us. But beautiful kids.

 

I remarried with a bar girl from Pattaya 17 year ago. We have a wonderful relationship and have beautiful kids. We love each other to bits. And still live in BKK.

 

Take what you want from that. But it's the truth.  

Did you never love her, or did it just take a while to realise that you had made a mistake?

It was the latter for me.

[thaibeachlovers]

59 minutes ago, Hummin said:

The good pretty girls doesnt last long in a bar before they run away with a customer if it was a bf they where looking for! 

True, or they just had enough money and left it for something else.

My 8 year GF gave it up and went back to school. Met a rich guy and married him.

Always new ones looking to make money to get ahead in life.

[Skeptic7]

 

20 hours ago, AventurasEnMadrid said:

Has anyone been able to feel like their former prostitute girlfriend/ wife truly left this life behind if they were only doing it out of necessity and make a good and honest girlfriend/wife?

In a word...Yes 

 

[Mbaki]

18 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

I am getting married later this year.

My soon to be wife is the best woman I have ever met.

We met in London in 2020 during Covid and our love grew from there.

 

She was a single mother at 19 and came from an area in Thailand known for poverty. I don’t think she would have chosen to do it if she had other options. She didn’t do it because she was greedy and a drug addict. 
 

She has built a nice home for her parents and her children (she has 2, the youngest I might adopt, but has the body of a teenager) and supported them all and brought them up to a middle class standard of life. She has also bought some land which she rents out and a condo in Pattaya which also gives her some passive income.

 

The culture is different here than in the west and she is highly respected for “taking care” of her family. And sex work is not frowned upon like in the West, with most Thai women doing some sort of sex work at some point of their lives. A lot of them are good girls who don’t even drink alcohol. My girl doesn’t have tattoos and thinks they are “dirty”.

 

Thai women are famous for it all around the world. It is an acceptable occupation for the pretty women to get them out of the poverty trap. My wife is a real head turner.

And smart. Very smart.

How many people do you know that have never paid for a Thai woman? Not many I bet.

A lot of westerners I have met with Thai women make up stories about how they met and you know they are living a lie. 

A few of my long time friends back home said some nasty things about her and I chose to never speak to them again. Other friends have got to know her and think she is great.
Not a single Thai has said anything untoward as it is normal here.
 

I have never been happier and we are at an age that we will happily settle down together. I haven’t got a crystal ball but sometimes you “just know.”

 

Love conquers all.

 

 

The culture might be different here but you are totally incorrect in saying that most Thai women do some sort of sex work at some point in their lives, don’t generalize the whole population on a small percentage of the minority. 

[Tailwagsdog]

Cheaper & safer to renew your porn hub subscription for the cuck in you......and marry a good girl for the family man in you. Understand yourself before you can understand the world or others. 

[OneMoreFarang]

4 hours ago, mstevens said:

That's kind of like saying someone got murdered in Johannesburg and someone else got murdered in Frankfurt so Johannesburg and Frankfurt are equally dangerous when it's obvious that there is a big difference between the two.

I was never in Johannesburg, but I know in Frankfurt there are good and bad people. Probably in Johannesburg there are also good and bad people.

How many in each place? I don't know.

Then it's up to us individually to where in each town we go, and which parts we avoid. And then which people we meet and maybe trust.

 

I knew a girl who used to be a cashier (really) in a bar for many years, and then she worked for years in an accounting company.

I asked her about her experience. She told me that mostly she prefers the girls in the bars because they are more straightforward and not lying as much as the office girls. I know that is only her personal opinion, but I still found it interesting - and I am not really surprised.  

[OneMoreFarang]

2 hours ago, DonniePeverley said:

Funny how many of them just 'started' to work in a bar a few weeks ago. Roflmao 

 

I know what you mean.

But if you are here for a while, you get a good idea if a girl just started in a bar, or if she does that already for some time.

She was new in that business.

[OneMoreFarang]

29 minutes ago, Skeptic7 said:

20 hours ago, AventurasEnMadrid said:

Has anyone been able to feel like their former prostitute girlfriend/ wife truly left this life behind if they were only doing it out of necessity and make a good and honest girlfriend/wife?

In a word...Yes 

 

There are, or at least used to be, also many girls who start in bars because someone near to them put them in that business. The big sister, the mother who wants money, the Thai boyfriend who wants a new motorcycle, etc.

Not always, but at least with the younger girls, that was not unusual. 

And if they are only in the business because someone else told them, then at least some of them are happy to get an opportunity to get out again.

[SiSePuede419]

555555.

[thesetat2013]

20 hours ago, novacova said:

The success stories are just stories.

I’m only interested in reading about the horror stories.

You can take the girl out of the bar. But you can not take the bar out of the girl. Once a prostitute, always will be craving that simple money for quick sex. How could you ever trust her to remain faithful?