1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

and I'll never meet them. No interest, no desire, and not going to compromise on my life again, like I had to do before.

I had to give up too much to make it worthwhile for the little I got out of the relationships. They did well though, which was why they didn't want to give me up.

I've always liked having someone. Having the wrong someone doesn't help your life but hinder it. I'm a dreamer, and a romantic, and I dedicate music to my girlfriend now to tell her how I feel about her, but she is hurting because of this depression, and sometimes feels nothing. I've been seeing this all along, and fully understand it because of all the reading I've done, having a daughter who has it, a cousin, and a best friend who took his own life because of it, and he had everything a person could want in life, just as Robin Williams did. You can't make them happy, nor fully understand that they can feel nothing. All you can do is be there and wait until it passes, which it does, but it comes back and you have to expect it. I love her more than any words, and would love her to come back with me to texas, but hope doesn't come easy for her, even after constant reassurance. I have a lot of patience, and it's not been easy, but when you find someone who you really like, you do what you can. You have someone out for you, and she might be as close as the next street, so giving up won't tell you this.

5 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

have good sex

 

I'd have been happy with any sex, but I wasn't going to stay once I worked out there was never going to be any more sex.

Not a good thing. Sex isn't near the most important thing, but having it makes the bond better. People who want to go without have some issues, and depression is a huge reason. Anhedonia from depression makes people feel no desire for things they used to like. Sex, food, travel, socializing, hobbies, are all lost .

22 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

And some men fall for it because of desperation. Some can weed through the nonsense after awhile, as you can only fake what you are for so long.

I only need then to fake it for 15 minutes!

17 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

If you listen to enough of them you can separate the bs from the truth. Some can hide themselves for quite awhile, but after a year or so, you get to knop them if you're spending enough time with them.

I knew a woman platonically for about 30 years. she was always married, so nothing going to happen romantically. I got on well with her husbands too. After her first divorce I helped her a lot.

Her second husband died and I helped her a great deal to survive ( not romantically ), but when a new man came along she became distant and less friendly. when they got engaged she dumped me. Everything I had done for her was as nothing. So much for any gratitude.

 

Soooo, I knew her for 28 years as a good friend, and how does that work for

"Some can hide themselves for quite awhile, but after a year or so, you get to knop them if you're spending enough time with them."

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I knew a woman platonically for about 30 years. she was always married, so nothing going to happen romantically. I got on well with her husbands too. After her first divorce I helped her a lot.

Her second husband died and I helped her a great deal to survive ( not romantically ), but when a new man came along she became distant and less friendly. when they got engaged she dumped me. Everything I had done for her was as nothing. So much for any gratitude.

 

Soooo, I knew her for 28 years as a good friend, and how does that work for

"Some can hide themselves for quite awhile, but after a year or so, you get to knop them if you're spending enough time with them."

Maybe she didn't want to upset her new husband, who might not like her spending time with another man. Jealousy can come easily the more insecure you are also. If you knew her that long, I'm sure she appreciated all you did, but abstinence might have been her best recourse.

4 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Not a good thing. Sex isn't near the most important thing, but having it makes the bond better. People who want to go without have some issues, and depression is a huge reason. Anhedonia from depression makes people feel no desire for things they used to like. Sex, food, travel, socializing, hobbies, are all lost .

It wasn't the only thing in the relationship, but by cutting it off they destroyed the relationship. Sex is part of a grown up's relationship, but many married women lose interest and are not prepared to satisfy hubby anyway. End up divorced.

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I only need then to fake it for 15 minutes!

If it works, that's all you need.

Just now, fredwiggy said:

Maybe she didn't want to upset her new husband, who might not like her spending time with another man. Jealousy can come easily the more insecure you are also. If you knew her that long, I'm sure she appreciated all you did, but abstinence might have been her best recourse.

If just talking to me made him jealous he was a loser, but she lost a good friend. It's not like we were going out dancing.

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

It wasn't the only thing in the relationship, but by cutting it off they destroyed the relationship. Sex is part of a grown up's relationship, but many married women lose interest and are not prepared to satisfy hubby anyway. End up divorced.

Yep, she should at least know you have needs, even if she isn't in the mood. many women lose interest after awhile for many reasons. They might not like how they look anymore, need to be aroused more, too busy with the kids etc. If you can take them away from all the <deleted> for awhile, they usually remember themselves, especially if you romance them beforehand. Some just never were into sex,and this can come from earlier relationships or childhood.

Just now, thaibeachlovers said:

If just talking to me made him jealous he was a loser, but she lost a good friend. It's not like we were going out dancing.

Many men don't like having any other man around, especially if you've been with the woman before. Even a friend can make some jealous, unless he's gay. Maybe she just wanted to be with him a lot of the time, and didn't have any spare time anymore. Either way, it doesn't matter because you helped her and she knows this. Just let it go and remember you did a good thing.

3 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I realised long ago that men will never understand women and visa versa.

I worked with hundreds of them and the only thing I learned is that I would never understand them.

Correction, I did learn one thing- gratitude is just a word to them.

 

Whoever invented the term "the gentler sex" needs a good slapping.

Yeah.

It's very much a case of thinking " A guy would tend to do X,Y orX, but a female just has such a leftfield response to similar scenarios or scenarios where I guy would try and guess a next step response on some situation uniquely for females.

 

The ALIEN sex would be nearer the mark.

 

All the advice guys get as younger boys (from females, no less !) is now framed as 'simping'.

On 6/15/2024 at 4:11 PM, susanlea said:

What you say is true. The liberals end up with bargirls and pay them money every month.

 

well,  sometimes they end up with "nice girls" .......... and follow them around like little puppies

2 hours ago, rumak said:

 

well,  sometimes they end up with "nice girls" .......... and follow them around like little puppies

At least they end up with girls and not bitchy old house wife's 

6 minutes ago, bubblegum said:

At least they end up with girls and not bitchy old house wife's 

 

i agree with ya there.    Though i do hear some of these "girls"  acting a bit disrespectful at time .   Its amazing how the nice smiling face from the romance can

become bored and unappreciative.

 human nature .......

6 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I knew a woman platonically for about 30 years. she was always married, so nothing going to happen romantically. I got on well with her husbands too. After her first divorce I helped her a lot.

Her second husband died and I helped her a great deal to survive ( not romantically ), but when a new man came along she became distant and less friendly. when they got engaged she dumped me. Everything I had done for her was as nothing. So much for any gratitude.

 

Soooo, I knew her for 28 years as a good friend, and how does that work for

"Some can hide themselves for quite awhile, but after a year or so, you get to knop them if you're spending enough time with them."

Maybe she saw you as a speedbump. She just used you then drove off. Men use people too. If this happened 20 years ago let it go.

On 6/19/2024 at 12:47 PM, susanlea said:

Woman after visas and money date guys double their age and say all the right things to trap them.

as a "generality" .......... one can change "visas"  to one of many reasons (not being love) ,  and the same sentence applies .

 

to be fair:   men also have similar (but different)  motives and modus operandi to get what they want from women 

 

the saying "all you need is love"  .......... does sell a lot of records though

Some of us function much better without a 'mate'.  I have been married 3 times and 3 times they left me after the money ran out.  Absolutely zero loyalty - it was all about money.

 

Now that I have no money (comparatively-speaking), I no longer have to worry about females cosying up to me.  IMHO, no female in her right mind would shack up with an older male unless he can offer her something in return, which usually means money. I'm happy to have platonic relationships with women (I am good friends with ex-wife #3), but TBH I'm much happier living on my own without the need to consider a partner.  That doesn't make me lonely, far from it 🙂

 

 

On 6/16/2024 at 10:46 AM, novacova said:

My wife cooks Thai food with olive oil, no sugar and no palm oil, it’s better than anything else I’ve ever eaten.

 

that's good.    have her try coconut oil ,  be sure its really 100% (no other additives) .

mrs rumak likes it better,  but olive oil also good

On 6/19/2024 at 11:49 AM, susanlea said:

You get what you tolerate. 

 

haha   i like that .   My friends always got a kick out of my standing "joke" ...... when discussing my latest gf .   When talking about whether there would be future problems,  i would always remind them that i have a prebought bus ticket for the girl hanging on the wall .    She was free to go at any time .  

The only time i got mad at myself was when i let it go on too long .  

On 6/15/2024 at 1:26 AM, kevozman1 said:

You see contrary to what many people think with less experience, Thai men at this point on average are more masculine than Western men. I am not talking size/strength but the main part, the mentality. Probably around half of the men in the West are neutered, and have succumb to Liberalism, or are just happy to be a doormat for a woman.
 

Excuse for snipping, but that's not my experience. There are indeed many mommy's boy types back 'home', esp among the younger gens, but it is almost endemic in Thailand. They are still doted on by their mothers and the women tend to fall over them. Most Thai males would not put up with a non-travelled, misbehaved western female.

On liberal lefty blokes, there are many in Thailand too, which is fine, and many of them tend to be mommy's boys. I just wish people could be more down the middle or at least see both sides of an argument. Nowt as queer as folk.

On 6/19/2024 at 7:27 PM, rumak said:

 

well,  sometimes they end up with "nice girls" .......... and follow them around like little puppies

If a nice girl under 30 and not a land whale wanted me, I'd happily be her slave for the rest of my life. Being old and alone sucks.

I have zero interest in fat women and anyone that could be a grandmother. Kids not welcome. I'm not that desperate.

On 6/22/2024 at 7:53 PM, rumak said:

The only time i got mad at myself was when i let it go on too long .  

It's hard to let it go and start again from scratch. It's even harder when invested a lot of money into the relationship.

On 6/20/2024 at 12:33 AM, susanlea said:

Maybe she saw you as a speedbump. She just used you then drove off. Men use people too. If this happened 20 years ago let it go.

Nah. She was a real friend for 28 years. She changed when her husband died unexpectedly. I got on well with him too, and I used to live with them for a while ( not as a threesome! ).

That didn't excuse her rejecting me though. I didn't kill him.

6 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

It's hard to let it go and start again from scratch. It's even harder when invested a lot of money into the relationship.

Invest in yourself not other people. 

3 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

If a nice girl under 30 and not a land whale wanted me, I'd happily be her slave for the rest of my life. Being old and alone sucks.

I have zero interest in fat women and anyone that could be a grandmother. Kids not welcome. I'm not that desperate.

TBL !   c'mon ,  even sexy Rumak knows when its time to up the "age parameters" ,

and allow a bit for the fact that I no longer look like brad pitt.    Hmmmm.   Actually,  i haven't seen him lately ( without his make up) ... maybe i  look better   haha

 

Under 30 and decent looks just ain't happening for us anymore ( unless you want to lose the rest of your fortune ) .    I know,  no fortune except bad fortune .

I was 60 something and went scavaging for the over 40's .  Now,  we ain't perfect... and they ain't gonna be either .   I just kept trying,  like opening mangosteens .All looked good on the outside .... but ...  Lots of rotten ones,  some only half rotten...... and a few worth taking a bite out of .  

 

If i were you..... i would get in a rubber raft or whatever and get my butt to Thailand .

 

2 hours ago, rumak said:

TBL !   c'mon ,  even sexy Rumak knows when its time to up the "age parameters" ,

and allow a bit for the fact that I no longer look like brad pitt.    Hmmmm.   Actually,  i haven't seen him lately ( without his make up) ... maybe i  look better   haha

 

Under 30 and decent looks just ain't happening for us anymore ( unless you want to lose the rest of your fortune ) .    I know,  no fortune except bad fortune .

I was 60 something and went scavaging for the over 40's .  Now,  we ain't perfect... and they ain't gonna be either .   I just kept trying,  like opening mangosteens .All looked good on the outside .... but ...  Lots of rotten ones,  some only half rotten...... and a few worth taking a bite out of .  

 

If i were you..... i would get in a rubber raft or whatever and get my butt to Thailand .

 

Singapore Air have specials.

On 6/25/2024 at 10:59 PM, rumak said:

I was 60 something and went scavaging for the over 40's .  Now,  we ain't perfect... and they ain't gonna be either .   I just kept trying,  like opening mangosteens .All looked good on the outside .... but ...  Lots of rotten ones,  some only half rotten...... and a few worth taking a bite out of .  

 

If i were you..... i would get in a rubber raft or whatever and get my butt to Thailand .

I ain't interested in over 40's.

Let's be clear, if i was interested in such with kids, there are loads of them out there gagging for a partner, but I was burned once by a solo mother and her brats, and vowed never again. No desire to have kids myself and waited till I couldn't before getting married to my Thai ex, who didn't have any.

 

If there was any way for me to live legally in LOS, I'd never have left, even if I never had a sleepover. I did that for my last year in LOS, and while I'd have liked a bed warmer, it wasn't so bad that I'd never do it again.

On 6/27/2024 at 8:59 PM, thaibeachlovers said:

I ain't interested in over 40's.

Let's be clear, if i was interested in such with kids, there are loads of them out there gagging for a partner, but I was burned once by a solo mother and her brats, and vowed never again. No desire to have kids myself and waited till I couldn't before getting married to my Thai ex, who didn't have any.

 

If there was any way for me to live legally in LOS, I'd never have left, even if I never had a sleepover. I did that for my last year in LOS, and while I'd have liked a bed warmer, it wasn't so bad that I'd never do it again.

Poor me statements. You live in the past. Save your money, buy plane ticket, go to Thailand. Stop playing the victim.

On 7/10/2024 at 1:11 AM, susanlea said:

Hows your life in NZ going? Probably not as good as mine.

 

Happiness should be 90% self driven.

 

 

IMO most people on here have a better life than me, especially if they live in LOS. The problems of old age healthwise and financially are worse than I'd ever have expected.

On 7/19/2024 at 5:47 PM, susanlea said:

I have a few clues. A plane ticket return costs about $800. A hotel in Thailand costs 400 baht up. A dish in a restaurant costs 30 baht up. Grab costs 50 baht up. Domestic flight in Thailand 800 baht up. Train costs 13 baht up.

 

You can't afford that after 50 years of working? Amazing.

You apparently have no conception that other people may have lost their money because they married the wrong woman, or for any of a hundred different reasons.

 

You didn't put the cost of insurance on your little list.

 

An hotel for 400 baht wouldn't be worth staying in

 

30 baht for a meal- what alternate Thailand do you live in?

 

Train for 13 baht.

 

Stop wasting my time.