What stage of the relationship are you currently in with your Thai lady?

[simple1]

Married for 26 years. Wife has always worked contributing financially to the relationship. As I now have a chronic illness wife supports me. Takes care of me very well.

[OneMoreFarang]

4 minutes ago, Celsius said:

 

You are confused. Although my wife knows who Biden is or Jabba the Hut for that matter, this is not what I meant by educated.

 

My examples would be different than asking her about US politics where even most non-Americans on this forum don't care

 

Ok, so what kind of serious conversations do you expect to have with the wife? Maybe give us some samples.

[FritsSikkink]

Both making money and taking care of the kids. Sometimes an argument other times a good laugh.

[4MyEgo]

13 hours ago, Chris Daley said:

Stage 1 Honeymoon Phase - She is adorable

 

Yes, very much so, I learnt a long time ago after my 1st failed and very miserable marriage to a non Asian for over a decade, that one can be very happily married the 2nd time around, 2 decades to date, how, don't spoil them.

 

That said, she hasn't changed since the day I met her, nothing, absolutely nothing has changed, and if she did change, I would have to refer her to Stages 2 & 3 below.

 

13 hours ago, Chris Daley said:

Stage 2 Financial Dependency Stage 

 

Of course, been like since the beginning, she take very good care me, and I take very good care her, but never spoilt her 🙂

 

13 hours ago, Chris Daley said:

Stage 3 Abusive Stage 

 

Never, and if she ever did, I would have to remind her of Stage 2.

 

 

Moral of my reply to your post, only ever invest as much as your prepared to walk away from, and always have a plan B with the other 90% that you didn't invest here.

 

By all means she gets the other 90% in the will, but if things changed from now till then, she can easily come off of the will, can't she 🙂

 

[FritsSikkink]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

thinking a Thai lass will fill his needs voluntarily, in which case it's no wonder he's having problems.

So sad that one only can get prostitutes to share their life.

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, FritsSikkink said:

So sad that one only can get prostitutes to share their life.

It is what it is. My non prostitute western partner was worse than any prostitute.

I found most prostitutes I knew to be nice people. Nicer than many non prostitute women I worked with.

[FritsSikkink]

31 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

Really?

This reminds me of the female Thai manager who I asked about Biden a day or two after he told the world that he won't be the DEMs candidate anymore. Her "answer"? Biden? Who is that?

And I am sure she is not the only educated Thai person who does not recognize that name.

 

In a way I like to be well informed what is happening all over the world. I read articles and news and watch videos from educated and well-informed people all the time. So, I am able to talk about these things if I want to. But to be fair, what happens if I talk with someone about Israel or the UK or USA or Ukraine or other issues? Nothing! We talk about it, and mostly we agree that things don't happen the way we like it, but we can't do anything about it. Nothing. Zero.

 

So, if many Thais are not informed about world wide events, what does that tell us? Are they all ignorant and don't care? Or do they know that there is no point of knowing lots of things which have almost nothing to do with our daily lives?

 

My gf has a good idea about many people in our building, the food vendors outside, the motorcycle taxis and their families. I don't know anything about most of them.

Now is it so much better that I know about Biden, or she knows about our neighbors? 

Thai manager of what? McDonalds?

[bubblegum]

She a really, really good book that I've read over and over again. Now I watch movies stage.

[Lacessit]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

In theory that works. But does it work in the real world?

I.e. lots of girls work in minimum wage jobs, about 10,000B per months.

I am sure many of them would be delighted if you would suggest to them that you give them 15k or 20k per month and they have to pay all their living cost, support for their family, etc.

And then, most likely more sooner than later, they find out that 20k is not as much as they thought it is. (I am not talking about 20k pocket money, I talk about all kind of expenses which in my case, I pay all by myself).

It reminds me of my first job back home. Like: Wow, so much money, I will never be able to spend so much. I was able to spend a lot more. And so are the girls.

Higher living standard, higher expenses, and likely it will get higher and more expensive.

 

With my gf we often go to the fresh market, and she buys a kg of shrimps, and a kg crabs, and things like that. Most of the time seafood which she always liked but couldn't afford when she was alone. Luckily, she is a good cook and likes the fresh market. If we would buy the same in the supermarket it would be more expensive. And she/we would eat seafood in restaurants all the time, it would obviously be a lot more expensive.

Does she realize that she has all the good food which she always wanted? Not really, it's just there. Sometimes, when she sends picture of the food to her friends, they all tell her they want the same. But for her, it's "normal".

10,000 baht is not minimum wage, more like lower middle class.

 

Minimum wage is working in the rice fields for 200-300 baht / day. Because rice can grow by itself, over a year the average wage is 2500 - 3000 baht/month.

 

Minimum income is 600 baht/month, when the pension kicks in at 60 yo. Frequently when people are too clapped out to work, after years of drinking lao khao.

[Cameroni]

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

Well in my particular case my woman is a couple of decades younger than I am. But I figured out very early in life that I preferred younger women. I tried women my age, I even tried some that were older, and it just didn't work for a dozen good reasons. But, that's just me. 

 

I'm the same way, I much prefer younger women. That joy, that lightness of being, the desire to please, not to mention the physical attributes, just make younger women preferable. Plus there's far less issues with ex boyfriends.

 

For that privelege you can forego some of the advantages which older, more mature women undoubtedly offer, mroe sexual experience, more understanding what a woman needs to do. After all you can train the young girl to do that.

[Celsius]

26 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

I'm the same way, I much prefer younger women. That joy, that lightness of being, the desire to please, not to mention the physical attributes, just make younger women preferable. Plus there's far less issues with ex boyfriends.

 

 

 

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

Ok, so what kind of serious conversations do you expect to have with the wife? Maybe give us some samples.

 

Well, if you really want to know, like the complete opposite the "girlfriend" above. From what he mentioned on another thread:

 

Seeks attention on tiktok from other men, does not work so he pays for everything, basically ignores him unless he needs sex, got a syphilis from some Ukranian men and gave it to the OP.

 

Chances of getting syphilis from educated women? Much lower.

 

Chances of you paying for everything? Much lower.

 

Chances of her ogling other men on social media because she refuses to work? Much lower.

 

It is not about highly educated conversations. It is about how woman behaves herself.

 

Welcome to the world of educated Bangkok women.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Cameroni]

27 minutes ago, Celsius said:

 

 

 

Chances of getting syphilis from educated women? Much lower

 

 

Slightly less, but she'd still be an older woman.

 

27 minutes ago, Celsius said:

Chances of you paying for everything? Much lower.

 

I much prefer her not working, it simplifies everything and ensures she can take better care of me in every way. How is she going to learn to do anything if she's out of the house doing a job somehwere and focused on that? No, that wouldn't work for me. Besides I can easily afford to pay for her Boat noodles, it's not an issue. In the end you decide what you spend.

 

27 minutes ago, Celsius said:

Chances of her ogling other men on social media because she refuses to work? Much lower.

 

 

It's much worse, if she's working, she'll be ogling guys who are actually working with her. Yes, less time on tik tok, more time ogling guys at her work. It's a physical fact that men and women are attracted to good looking people, it's just the way it is.

 

27 minutes ago, Celsius said:

It is not about highly educated conversations. It is about how woman behaves herself.

 

Highly educated conversations are nice, but yes the behaviour of the  woman is key. But that's why a younger woman is much better, her behaviour is less set in her ways, she can still be formed and she approaches life in a want to please way, in a lighter  way, a more fun way.

 

A working Bangkok woman would be my personal nightmare.

[richard_smith237]

14 hours ago, Chris Daley said:

Stage 1 Honeymoon Phase

Stage 2 Financial Dependency Stage

Stage 3 Abusive Stage

 

The stage that finds the questions with the above limits highly blinkered...  almost myopic... 

 

... how about a 'perfectly healthy and normal relationship' stage ? - Posts such as the Ops imply 'normalcy' cannot be achieved here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Celsius]

11 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

 

 

A working Bangkok woman would be my personal nightmare.

 

Personly a woman shagging Ukranian dudes who gave her syphilis would be my personal nightmare, but as they say to each his own.

 

 

[n00dle]

10 hours ago, JK-Trilly said:

Stage 1 - She's crazy AF, but your ignoring the obvious signs because your too busy thinking about when she goes up and down on your little bobbin and thimble for 15 minute a day. After all, she's also special and different. And she recognizes all your good qualities like no other woman ever has. Plus she's 20 years younger than you, so you are the luckiest man on earth. 

 

Stage 2 - You realize that not only that she really is crazy, but unintelligent too and her life is ruled by a combination of childish TikTok influencers and ridiculous superstitious beliefs. And she's got a bunch of unhealthy bad habits. Plus she's put on 20 pounds. Also, you finally start to realize this really isn't a healthy thing at all for your own bank account. 

 

Stage 3 - Your in too deep. The arguments start getting physical, that 15 minute a day thing that you loved so much at the beginning has long come and gone. Special and different has turned into psycho and calculating. You're now thinking about cutting your losses, and hopefully, if you're smart, you are only moments away from running like hell while you still can. 

 

Ah, this is the quality sex tourist and misogynistic anti-thai commentary we have all come to know and love.

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Celsius said:

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

Ok, so what kind of serious conversations do you expect to have with the wife? Maybe give us some samples.

 

Well, if you really want to know, like the complete opposite the "girlfriend" above. From what he mentioned on another thread:

 

Seeks attention on tiktok from other men, does not work so he pays for everything, basically ignores him unless he needs sex, got a syphilis from some Ukranian men and gave it to the OP.

 

Chances of getting syphilis from educated women? Much lower.

 

Chances of you paying for everything? Much lower.

 

Chances of her ogling other men on social media because she refuses to work? Much lower.

 

It is not about highly educated conversations. It is about how woman behaves herself.

 

Welcome to the world of educated Bangkok women.

 

I asked about serious conversations. It seems you also don't have serious conversations. Interesting.

 

What you describe are IHMO character attributes. There are poor and rich women who f#$# around with many guys. There are women from all classes who are honest and others who tell lies all the time, are manipulative, etc.

The generalization that educated women are so much better than not so educated women is wrong. Education has not much to do with character. 

 

 

[paulbrow]

I've been in stage 1 for 28 years and loving every minute of it.

[OneManShow]

16 hours ago, Chris Daley said:

I said 'okay sure, I'm going'...  She quickly went back to stage 2.  Nice meals, nice outfits, and a more pleasant personality.

Mine said: up to you 🤔🤪

[spidermike007]

3 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

I'm the same way, I much prefer younger women. That joy, that lightness of being, the desire to please, not to mention the physical attributes, just make younger women preferable. Plus there's far less issues with ex boyfriends.

 

For that privelege you can forego some of the advantages which older, more mature women undoubtedly offer, mroe sexual experience, more understanding what a woman needs to do. After all you can train the young girl to do that.

For me one of the biggest issues was that I found women close to my age range to be obstinate, stubborn, generally more closed-minded, very set in their ways, and a bit more conventional and conservative in their lifestyle. Considerably less fun overall. 

 

But that is just me. 

[Thingamabob]

Cohabiting 1983-1989

Married 1990 

Still happily married 2024.

[Cameroni]

23 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

For me one of the biggest issues was that I found women close to my age range to be obstinate, stubborn, generally more closed-minded, very set in their ways, and a bit more conventional and conservative in their lifestyle. Considerably less fun overall. 

 

But that is just me. 

 

As people get older, it is always the case that they become less willing to compromise, take things more seriously, even smaller things and are generally less fun. Both male and female. I think that's fair to say. There are exceptions of course, but on the whole that's the case.

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

 

 

Education has not much to do with character. 

 

 

IMO education amplifies the opportunity to be a better or worse person.

[n00dle]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I asked about serious conversations. It seems you also don't have serious conversations. Interesting.

 

indeed, that is why after I had my fill I switched back to lovers and partners with whom i shared a similar education and common ground.  

 

Dont get me wrong, occasionally I give in to my more shallow urges, but never for long, 

[JeffersLos]

The stage where it cost me 1000 baht a week.

 

400 for one masseuse to hold up my gut.

 

600 for another to tug away.

[4MyEgo]

5 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

So sad that one only can get prostitutes to share their life.

 

Really, how shallow of a comment.

 

My prostitute wife of 2 decades became a choice for me, why, because I saw beyond the label that people such as yourself define people by, so judgmental.

 

So far, she has lived up to my expectations, is a fabulous cook, great mum to our kids, is caring, loving etc etc, but I don't need to convince you, sounds like you got burnt by an Asian woman, albeit it I don't like to use the label you do, do you prefer a Dr or Lawyer, someone who was raised in a household with money, thus providing opportunities.

 

Get off your high horse and get out into the real world and mix it up with real people, you might change your tune, but I doubt it.

 

The above said, I know heaps of men who have very long lasting loving relationships with the women you label, the ones that get taken, or had failed relationships, are those who don't understand women, are you one of them ?

[habuspasha]

1st stage has been my visiting for vacations about four times a year, a few weeks at a time.  Now entering second stage, renting a house together for her residence and my longer and more frequent visits.  Nice feel having our own home together, even if I have to return to New York frequently to supervise legal wife's hospice care.  I imagine a third stage post mortem, living half a year in our Thai home and half a year in NY.

[save the frogs]

5 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

Ok, so what kind of serious conversations do you expect to have with the wife? Maybe give us some samples.

actually, that's a double-edged sword and can backfire.

do you really want to start talking politics with your wife? what if you have different views? 

too much intellectual chatter in a relationship can lead to arguments and power struggles.

you can get your intellectual stimulation on youtube. 

 

[save the frogs]

4 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

... how about a 'perfectly healthy and normal relationship' stage ? - Posts such as the Ops imply 'normalcy' cannot be achieved here.

a lot of people never attain normalcy and healthy relationships,

 

[Hummin]

6 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

a lot of people never attain normalcy and healthy relationships,

 

Therefor no one else can, because they can't? Logical 🫣

[OneMoreFarang]

23 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

actually, that's a double-edged sword and can backfire.

do you really want to start talking politics with your wife? what if you have different views? 

too much intellectual chatter in a relationship can lead to arguments and power struggles.

you can get your intellectual stimulation on youtube. 

I agree.

But it seems some people here want serious conversation with their gf/wife.

This is why I asked what they have in mind. Until now I didn't receive any answer...