Marrying a Thai Wife: Overrated or Underrated?

[scubascuba3]

4 hours ago, MCos said:

You could be disappointed if you think you’re performing some sort of rescue service and your wife will be forever grateful

Doesn't work that way. It’s an equal partnership 

Is it when generally the man is providing most/all finances

[Hummin]

50 minutes ago, thesetat2013 said:

forgot about what is used for our farm. We have palm oil trees for our farm but we do not live in our home there for a couple years already.. The Thai mother takes care of the farm. We allotted her a couple rai to use for her personal farming use. Veggies and spices mostly with some fruit. The Thai family never ask us for money and the mother makes sure workers take care of our trees. we collect the money from the palm oil seeds about every 3 months and have never been asked for any of it. We know the prices and what money should be there waiting us and they have never taken any money either. I think when it comes to family.

 

If you plan to marry a poor Isaan woman with an even poorer family. They will not only take all of your sinsod but your new wife will make sure she is sending them as much money as possible. If you marry into a family that is not so poor. They want you to make sure the wife has a good life and the kids you make together. So if you are considering marrying a Thai, you need to think about this also. 

 

I got lucky in finding my wife. The family gave us the family house and all the land divided by 3 siblings... They returned all sinsod under our bed on the wedding night. They never ask for anything from us unless it is something important that they can not get themselves. Any bills for medical are split between all the siblings that their insurance does not pay. They are self supporting and very proud of this. They do not like their daughter married a foreigner but they are happy she is happy with a good family that has all they need and want. They acknowledge me but language is a barrier we can not seem to get past. 

No sin sod paid, her parents have state government insurance because of her brother, and we pay her parents for work.

[Hummin]

1 hour ago, FritsSikkink said:

So you lose money to have a farm.

Do you think we built a small farm in Thailand to make money ? 😁 Good one, I make my money overseas, not in Thailand

 

Investing in land, and self sustainable as much as possible is the key

[Jerry777]

These forums are so boring with all the mods going crazy. I think there are like 20 people on here anymore who comment all the time.

[SAFETY FIRST]

26 minutes ago, Jerry777 said:

These forums are so boring with all the mods going crazy. I think there are like 20 people on here anymore who comment all the time.

Nothing wrong with someone commenting all the time. 

 

Some here have very little to do all day, it keeps them occupied. 

 

 

[Albo]

55 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

 

You may not have been here long enough to identify the 'normal behavior'....

 

Thais are adept at it...  Foreigners who spent time at here are adept at it...      Spotting the following relationships..

 

- Monger + Ho (stick out like a sore thumb and look quite out of place in a normal setting)

- Foreigner + Occupational Farang hunter (stands out - she's over selling her status)

- Foreigner + Regular Woman (also obvious because they look so normal together).

 

Obviously there are lots between those and the 'spectrum is far more faceted'...   but those are the basics and newbies may struggle to tell one from the other.

 

Only 31 years first trip, living here 15 ( more or less 22). Pattaya five years, Bangkok 15, islands South Thailand. A clueless babe in the woods. Thanks for the labels.

[Albo]

50 minutes ago, sqwakvfr said:

Not just flexible  but unimforned and stubborn.  I have been going to the same coffee place in CNX for five years.  The Thai lady makes great coffee and is very nice. To this day she still thinks I am Japanese because I am Asian.  I have stopped telliing her that I am American.  Whenever I am not at her place for a stretch she usually asks me "you go to Japan?".  I tell her I was in Los Angeles but I doubt she believes me.  All I want is to get my coffee and get along with her. I pay, leave a tip, smile and leave until next time.  This represents my experience as an Asian American in the Land of Smiles.  Purusing a relationship of anykind with a Thai woman(especially in Chiang Mai) is no longer  in the plans.  Maybe I will try a bar girl next? 

 

Your life in Thailand sounds super interesting. I'm sure no matter the country you're treated differently simply being (E.) Asian.  You stated you were US, but is your ethnicity Japanese per chance? I'm guessing sometimes you fare better than us white guys, but sometimes not. Took me years to be able to eat noodles, especially rice in the morning. I'd wager sometimes treated much better by women, but in certain situations not. Some Asian TikTokers doing alright here.

 

I've had older aunties kinda do same with me. One kept on with me being German and when was I going back. I lived in Pattaya for five years.

 

I think you should be very ok with dating here as an 'Asian'. I think it's a big plus actually - all things being equal including eating Thai food. Bar girls would be interesting. They love the Japanese and Koreans on Cowboy

[kennypowers]

Childish, narcissistic, inauthentic, money-driven – and that's just the good ones. What's not to like? 🙂

[thesetat2013]

59 minutes ago, Albo said:

They love the Japanese and Koreans on Cowboy

You mean they love the money from Japanese and Koreans on cowboy

[advancebooking]

15 hours ago, SoCal1990 said:

Marrying a Thai woman often sounds like a unique and appealing opportunity, but how can one know in advance what they’re really getting themselves into?

The idea of having a potentially beautiful, caring, and devoted wife who values family and home life is undoubtedly enticing. Add the cultural charm, great food, and warmth that many Thai women are known for, and it’s easy to see why many foreigners might be encouraged to take the plunge.

 

But is the reality as perfect as it seems? Financial expectations, for example, can be a major consideration. In many cases, marrying a Thai woman involves supporting her family to some extent. Is this considered a reasonable cultural norm, or does it often become an overwhelming burden on the husband over time? And how can foreigners navigate this expectation without running into relational challenges and a feeling of being fleeced?

 

Cultural compatibility is another question. The whole Thai cultural aspect that values harmony and “saving face” can sometimes lead to indirect communication. Does this help relationships by reducing unnecessary conflict, or does it cause frustration for someone from the West who is used to a more direct approach? And what about language barriers? How much do they limit deeper connections and understanding between two people when both partners might struggle to fully express themselves because of language?

 

Finally, there’s the lifestyle factor. Some thrive in cross-cultural marriages, embracing the blend of tradition and modernity that a Thai wife can bring. But others might find themselves struggling to bridge the gap between two very different ways of life.

So, is having a Thai wife everything it’s cracked up to be, or does it come with more challenges than would be expecting or find acceptable? For those already married or considering it, what other questions or concerns should weigh the most on one's mind before taking such a plunge?

is this AI generated content?

[Moti24]

Marrying a Thai Wife: Overrated or Underrated?

 

I would have thought that was illegal; she'd need to get divorced first.

[BangkokReady]

4 hours ago, BigStar said:

 

Saw this on Facebook the other day.  Some comments along the lines of "You're a loser if you go to Asia to find a wife".  It's interesting to see the level of illogical shaming that people attempt with this topic.  "You've found a pleasant, attractive woman to be your wife, and you're happy, but this makes you a loser."  🤦‍♂️

[john donson]

thais ladies will put you in last place,  you are the ATM of the family....  you get sex and some food

 

better rent

[sherwood]

Married to a Thai wife, it is what it is.

After 10 years and two daughters it's all good enough.

I have little to whinge about, my wife is half my age.

 

 

[richard_smith237]

4 hours ago, Albo said:

Only 31 years first trip, living here 15 ( more or less 22). Pattaya five years, Bangkok 15, islands South Thailand. A clueless babe in the woods. Thanks for the labels.

 

Perhaps I took the wrong interpretation from your comment - it seemed you were implying that you are unable to differentiate between the 'genuinely married couples' and the 'P4P temporary arrangement'... 

 

Given your time here - all the dynamics and types of relationship should be quite obvious to identify - particularly in Bangkok... 

 

 

 

 

6 hours ago, Albo said:

 

 

I always presume mixed couples are not married unless I can just tell by their mannerisms that they have been together forever and are married.

[sqwakvfr]

11 hours ago, Albo said:

 

Your life in Thailand sounds super interesting. I'm sure no matter the country you're treated differently simply being (E.) Asian.  You stated you were US, but is your ethnicity Japanese per chance? I'm guessing sometimes you fare better than us white guys, but sometimes not. Took me years to be able to eat noodles, especially rice in the morning. I'd wager sometimes treated much better by women, but in certain situations not. Some Asian TikTokers doing alright here.

 

I've had older aunties kinda do same with me. One kept on with me being German and when was I going back. I lived in Pattaya for five years.

 

I think you should be very ok with dating here as an 'Asian'. I think it's a big plus actually - all things being equal including eating Thai food. Bar girls would be interesting. They love the Japanese and Koreans on Cowboy

I grew up in the USA. I do not like rice or noodles.  My ethnicity is Korean. I love Baseball, college football and hate KPOP. I speak some Korean. Bottom line is most Thai people are confused to as to who or what i am. When I speak English like a white foreigner it sometimes makes them feel uneasy. They look at me like somekind of weirdo that they have never encountered.  If  I spoke broken English like many Asian foreigners it would put them at ease. Being an Asian has never been a plus for me because I am who I am.  Most Thai people don't understand who I am. Frankly I don't care what Thai people think about me. 

[spidermike007]

When it comes to any woman anywhere the question is - how long did you take to get to know her, before you married her? I always advocate really taking your time here. Time is ALWAYS our ally, and never theirs. So take you time, get to know who they really are, and how they act under duress. The vast majority of Thai people are way immature for their age. And many women and men are emotionally undeveloped, and really just 13 year olds, who look like adults. There is something about this society that does not allow most people to grow up with an understanding of themselves. I think face has something to do with it. The utter refusal to take responsibility for one's actions and the unwillingness to "own" a situation, and man up when you screw up. That and the inability to question people, and situations. And the subsequent lack of curiosity. It is all a perfect storm, when it comes to preventing alot of people from becoming well developed human beings, with communication skills, and the tools needed to conduct meaningful relationships, beyond the surface.

 

Time is your ally. Use it. If it is good it will only get better. If there are significant issues, they will reveal themselves over time. Take two, thee or five years, if you can. You have NO idea what she's made of, you have no idea how good a job her family did raising her, you have no idea what her underlying neurosis or baggage is, until at least 12 months into the relationship. The longer, the better. If she walks, let her walk.

 

A Thai woman can be an amazing partner. Find a good one. Fine one who is worthy of your devotion. Alot of us who have engaged in relationships with lovely, kind, supportive, humorous, and sexy women here, are no longer lonely. We have very good lives. Fulfilling lives. Lives we could never dream of having back in the US, Oz, NZ, UK, Canada, or Scandinavia, where many of the women are so devoid of femininity and the very qualities that make them appealing to us. Not here. Thai women are very comfortable in their own skin and with their roles as woman. It gives them alot of power. And they are too savvy to walk away from that, as many Western women have. 

[kevozman1]

The only thing I will say is with Thai women is if they are loved up on you, genuinely, then you have to fck up pretty hard to mess it up. I mean women in general if they are genuinely attracted to a man will sleep in his car if that is where he is, but especially Thai women will look past your minor faults.

[Hummin]

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

When it comes to any woman anywhere the question is - how long did you take to get to know her, before you married her? I always advocate really taking your time here. Time is ALWAYS our ally, and never theirs. So take you time, get to know who they really are, and how they act under duress. The vast majority of Thai people are way immature for their age. And many women and men are emotionally undeveloped, and really just 13 year olds, who look like adults. There is something about this society that does not allow most people to grow up with an understanding of themselves. I think face has something to do with it. The utter refusal to take responsibility for one's actions and the unwillingness to "own" a situation, and man up when you screw up. That and the inability to question people, and situations. And the subsequent lack of curiosity. It is all a perfect storm, when it comes to preventing alot of people from becoming well developed human beings, with communication skills, and the tools needed to conduct meaningful relationships, beyond the surface.

 

Time is your ally. Use it. If it is good it will only get better. If there are significant issues, they will reveal themselves over time. Take two, thee or five years, if you can. You have NO idea what she's made of, you have no idea how good a job her family did raising her, you have no idea what her underlying neurosis or baggage is, until at least 12 months into the relationship. The longer, the better. If she walks, let her walk.

 

A Thai woman can be an amazing partner. Find a good one. Fine one who is worthy of your devotion. Alot of us who have engaged in relationships with lovely, kind, supportive, humorous, and sexy women here, are no longer lonely. We have very good lives. Fulfilling lives. Lives we could never dream of having back in the US, Oz, NZ, UK, Canada, or Scandinavia, where many of the women are so devoid of femininity and the very qualities that make them appealing to us. Not here. Thai women are very comfortable in their own skin and with their roles as woman. It gives them alot of power. And they are too savvy to walk away from that, as many Western women have. 

It also take some motivation,dedication, dicipline and a little bit more than common understanding, or be willing to understand som cultural differences to succeed and maintain an healthy relationship. 

 

Basicaly both parts must be willing to adjust to make it work. Most seems to come with a fixed package, and if it doesnt work for them, then it is not worth it.

 

I can can understand some younger retires enjoys the single life, but there comes a day, when being two is a good thing. 

 

I also believe being in an healthy relationship contributes to better health. 

 

Edit note: A healthy relationship, could or can contribute to better health. 

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, kevozman1 said:

The only thing I will say is with Thai women is if they are loved up on you, genuinely, then you have to fck up pretty hard to mess it up. I mean women in general if they are genuinely attracted to a man will sleep in his car if that is where he is, but especially Thai women will look past your minor faults.

You really believe that? Funny how all those homeless guys are single then.

And if you watch those US videos of the middle class people having to live in their cars after losing their jobs and homes, they all seem to be single too.

[save the frogs]

9 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

You really believe that? Funny how all those homeless guys are single then.

Not exactly.

Homeless guys are banging homeless chicks.

But generally speaking, women will usually try to avoid dating down.

 

[kevozman1]

11 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

You really believe that? Funny how all those homeless guys are single then.

And if you watch those US videos of the middle class people having to live in their cars after losing their jobs and homes, they all seem to be single too.

 

Clearly you missed the part about 'attraction'. The point is if a woman really wants to be with a man, then she only wants his time. Unless a guy has a woman who is genuinely attracted then just do rentable ladies because some half-assed romance is usually an exercise in futility.

[BritManToo]

8 minutes ago, kevozman1 said:

 

Clearly you missed the part about 'attraction'. The point is if a woman really wants to be with a man, then she only wants his time. Unless a guy has a woman who is genuinely attracted then just do rentable ladies because some half-assed romance is usually an exercise in futility.

A woman's attraction for a man doesn't last that long IMHO.

[Hummin]

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

A woman's attraction for a man doesn't last that long IMHO.

Both parts must have or do something to maintain attraction in an relationship. Sad thing, very often both parts quit being interesting for each other after settled down, or do lot have time or make time for each other. 

 

Something I learned while I was constantly working and traveling. Now as semi retired making good and right priorities and priority my wife and some of her interests as she do for me following me, cook, and care for me. 

 

I know its a cliche, and some puke reading such obvious things, but it works for us and many others, if you are with a partner who have understood the same things.

 

Most important is, being friends and have interest in each other. Say good night, kiss and hug, and same in the morning. Small things in the daily life goes long way. 

[BritManToo]

10 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Both parts must have or do something to maintain attraction in an relationship. Sad thing, very often both parts quit being interesting for each other after settled down, or do lot have time or make time for each other. 

I've always found the opposite,

The less interest I show, the more effort she makes.

[b17]

23 hours ago, ChaiyaTH said:

Overrated big time obviously. Be real, if you come across 1/20 that still is together after 15 years it is a miracle.

I disagree. I've been happily married to my Thai wife for thirty years, and have numerous friends who are enjoying even longer relationships with their Thai spouses. No miracles required. 

[Yagoda]

10 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

 

Saw this on Facebook the other day.  Some comments along the lines of "You're a loser if you go to Asia to find a wife".  It's interesting to see the level of illogical shaming that people attempt with this topic.  "You've found a pleasant, attractive woman to be your wife, and you're happy, but this makes you a loser."  🤦‍♂️

Im reminded of the time we were sitting around at a new development when the developer came by. My bro in law, fat, obnoxious and married to my fat and obnoxious sister for 40 years decided that he would introduce me as "hey Im married to his sister, you know what this guy does? he lives mostly in Thailand and just chases teenage girls".

 

The developer, a highly successful dude, looked at him, looked at me and said: "Wow, Ive been thinking about Thailand, you know all the good places to go?"

 

He then invited me to his Stadium box to go over his plans.

[Yagoda]

19 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

A woman's attraction for a man doesn't last that long IMHO.

And ends when the wallet is empty.

 

I am reminded of the famous truism.

 

Why is the little plastic bride on top of the wedding cake smiling?

No more BJs.

[Hummin]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I've always found the opposite,

The less interest I show, the more effort she makes.

If that works for you guys and makes you happy, good for you

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, Hummin said:

If that works for you guys and makes you happy, good for you

But we ain't using a gay fantasy figure as our avatars!