Right then, lads. I’ve been watching the usual chorus of moaning about Thais, Thai ways, and “how things were better back in Blighty.” And it got me thinking: is it really Thailand that’s the problem… or is it you?

You’ve been here 10, 20, 30 years. You’ve got a house, a wife, maybe even a soi dog or two. But somehow you’ve managed to go that whole time without learning more Thai than “chang beer, two glass.” Not a single Thai male mate to your name (bar the motorbike taxi guy who pretends to know your football team). And yet you bash the country daily like it’s your job.

Here’s the question: have you lost your cultural identity? Or are you desperately clinging to some Union Jack beach towel of the past, shouting about warm ale and “proper sausages” as if it keeps you anchored?

Because honestly, you’re living in Thailand, but some of you still behave like you’re on extended leave from the local Wetherspoons. You don’t speak the language, you don’t understand the humour, and you treat the locals like background extras in your own little expat soap opera.

So - cultural identity check:

Are you genuinely part of Thai society?

Or are you just squatting in it, confused and homesick, while insisting you’re “well integrated” because you can eat som tam without crying?

 

As someone who’s worked in psychology, I can tell you this behaviour looks like a classic case of Expatus Stagnaticus - the tragic condition of men stuck between “old Blighty nostalgia” and “new Thai reality,” unable to move forward.

What do you reckon - have you found your identity here, or are you still wandering the Tesco aisle in Pattaya muttering about how much better baked beans used to taste back home, how there would be no migrant issues if the Krays were still alive?

Well you seem like a classic example of the thread i just made, an old white guy who is anti western civilization and now has no choice but to love everything about thailand because mentally youve burned your bridge about your home country

Just now, JimCM said:

Right then, lads. I’ve been watching the usual chorus of moaning about Thais, Thai ways, and “how things were better back in Blighty.” And it got me thinking: is it really Thailand that’s the problem… or is it you?

You’ve been here 10, 20, 30 years. You’ve got a house, a wife, maybe even a soi dog or two. But somehow you’ve managed to go that whole time without learning more Thai than “chang beer, two glass.” Not a single Thai male mate to your name (bar the motorbike taxi guy who pretends to know your football team).

 

OR....  people like yourself who live within your own bubble and never see any other Western guys here beyond the optics you project on them... 

...  A lot of Foreigners here speak Thai.

... A lot of Foreigners here have very healthy mutually respectful friendships with Thai men.

 

 

Just now, JimCM said:

And yet you bash the country daily like it’s your job.

 

Yes, there is nothing wrong with making critical observations. Thailand and its people have many admirable qualities, but there are also notable challenges. To ignore the negative would be both blind and naive. As noted above, many of us here have mutually respectful friendships with Thai men, and through these relationships, we’ve found that our perspectives - both positive and critical - are often shared and mutually understood.

 

 

Just now, JimCM said:

Here’s the question: have you lost your cultural identity? Or are you desperately clinging to some Union Jack beach towel of the past, shouting about warm ale and “proper sausages” as if it keeps you anchored?

Because honestly, you’re living in Thailand, but some of you still behave like you’re on extended leave from the local Wetherspoons. You don’t speak the language, you don’t understand the humour, and you treat the locals like background extras in your own little expat soap opera.

 

You may need to reconsider the areas you’re frequenting. There are culturally diverse restaurants, bars, and pubs that welcome all nationalities. There’s no more “wrong” with a local pie-and-chips pub than with a Japanese karaoke bar or a Thai restaurant featuring a live band.

 

So, when you say “some of you,” have you simply chosen to rant about the very few Westerners here - those you’ve decided you’re somehow superior to- through a lens clouded by negative bias?

 

 

Just now, JimCM said:

So - cultural identity check:

Are you genuinely part of Thai society?

Or are you just squatting in it, confused and homesick, while insisting you’re “well integrated” because you can eat som tam without crying?

 

Again, it really depends on the location. If you stick to the “Benidorm” areas of Thailand, such as Patong or Pattaya Soi 6, you’ll see one particular scene—but I doubt you’ve witnessed the countless Western, Thai, and mixed families holidaying in places like Khao Yai. For many Westerners, life here is perfectly normal, yet they still maintain their own culture - after all, Thai people eat fish and chips too.

 

Visit the Londoner in Pattanakarn, and you’ll see a vibrant, balanced mix of Thais and Westerners enjoying themselves, in fact many area's of Thailand are like that.

 

In the more touristy areas, there is naturally a higher concentration of foreigners (Westerners) who lack easy access to transport and so don’t venture into the more authentically Thai areas. But it’s not those people you seem to be criticising - it’s the “long-termers”... Yet you clearly haven’t observed the places that most long-term residents frequent, which suggests a surprising ignorance of the very examples you claim to know and want to criticize.

 

 

Just now, JimCM said:

As someone who’s worked in psychology, I can tell you this behaviour looks like a classic case of Expatus Stagnaticus - the tragic condition of men stuck between “old Blighty nostalgia” and “new Thai reality,” unable to move forward.

 

As someone with experience in psychology, it seems you have fallen into the trap of making observations from a very limited sample and drawing fundamentally flawed generalisations.

 

Just now, JimCM said:

What do you reckon - have you found your identity here, or are you still wandering the Tesco aisle in Pattaya muttering about how much better baked beans used to taste back home, how there would be no migrant issues if the Kay’s were still alive?

 

Baked beans and HP sauce are great! There’s nothing wrong with craving food from home, just as there’s nothing wrong with enjoying boat noodles one day, tonkatsu another, or Pad Kra Pao or a roast beef dinner etc on other days.

 

 

I’m honestly not sure what your point is. You seem to misunderstand that people simply enjoy their comforts, and then generalise as if everyone else - apart from yourself, of course - is somehow “not Thai enough” for your liking.

22 minutes ago, JimCM said:

As someone who’s worked in psychology,

 

I think I have to echo someone else's point.

 

Being a patient, does not equate to working in psychology.

 

It's a bit like the claim that Khan was a boxer, because he trained at a boxing gym.

 

Or that Rachel Reeves is an accountant, because she worked in Customer Services at a bank.

11 hours ago, The Cyclist said:

Being a patient, does not equate to working in psychology.

 

He is "working in psychology" on the forum by dumping his neurosis on us. 

 

Expaticus Neuroticus is the psychology jargon, I believe. 

 

4 minutes ago, The Cyclist said:

Being a patient, does not equate to working in psychology.

 

Oh snap!  Good one...

The dummy kids with crappy grades that could not get into sociology all seemed to go into psychology.

37 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

A lot of Foreigners here speak Thai.

Most do not.

Most Thais in the UK speak English.

 

Is Brits are a very negative lot, love complaining, and we bring this part of our culture to share with the Thais.

You are a classic example of that.

48 minutes ago, angryguy said:

Well you seem like a classic example of the thread i just made, an old white guy who is anti western civilization and now has no choice but to love everything about thailand because mentally youve burned your bridge about your home country

Why do you think that? I am not anti west at all, I still have a house in the UK.

6 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

Most do not.

Most Thais in the UK speak English.

 

Is Brits are a very negative lot, love complaining, and we bring this part of our culture to share with the Thais.

You are a classic example of that.

100%

I noticed my neighbor says “thank you” to delivery drivers and he’s been here 10 years.

Most Brits, even long term ones can’t hold a conversation.

How many threads here are about learning Thai?

Yes, Richard does seem to complain a lot.

31 minutes ago, mogandave said:

The dummy kids with crappy grades that could not get into sociology all seemed to go into psychology.

I studied Sociology in my first year at university.

41 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

 

He is "working in psychology" on the forum by dumping his neurosis on us. 

 

Expaticus Neuroticus is the psychology jargon, I believe. 

 

Well, you’ve clearly done ann undergraduate in armchair diagnostics. Congratulations, Dr. Google.

16 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

56 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

A lot of Foreigners here speak Thai.

Most do not.

Most Thais in the UK speak English.

 

Is Brits are a very negative lot, love complaining, and we bring this part of our culture to share with the Thais.

You are a classic example of that.

 

Nah... I just call out the incessant bo!!ox hooker-fixated pishead self wannabe hard-men drunk drivers like yourself post about... 

 

& Exposing yourself to the 'dregs' of Western Society and their hookers, as you seem to keep reporting on, will only allow you to have such optics.

 

 

Nearly all of my Western Friends here speak a reasonable amount of Thai - its not perfect, but they make effort and can get by quite well - but thats because they are generally not trapped in 'farang enclaves'... 

 

... But...  there are those who try to speak Thai but have always struggled with languages - I wouldn't be too critical of those folks, they try....

... Its the 'I don't need to speak Thai - why would I bother' type of longtermer here who is deserving of criticism.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

Most Thais in the UK speak English.

 

They go there to work and raise families. Not the same as retiring. 

 

But yeah, if you're retired for decades it might be polite to learn some of the language. 

 

But most talk leads to gossip anyway.

All you need to do is be polite. Language is not that important. 

 

50 minutes ago, The Cyclist said:

 

I think I have to echo someone else's point.

 

Being a patient, does not equate to working in psychology.

 

It's a bit like the claim that Khan was a boxer, because he trained at a boxing gym.

 

Or that Rachel Reeves is an accountant, because she worked in Customer Services at a bank.

 

Yes.

He is doing work in Psychology by lying on the couch.

 

I think he might be talking about Culture Shock or something.

 

He is a newcomer and does not understand living in a foreign land.

Anyway, it requires about 10 years to finally become ensconced in a foreign country.

And, even then, we will all be considered First-Generation Thai People, which is what we are.

 

1 hour ago, JimCM said:

You’ve been here 10, 20, 30 years. You’ve got a house, a wife, maybe even a soi dog or two. But somehow you’ve managed to go that whole time without learning more Thai than

 

Are you genuinely part of Thai society?

Or are you just squatting in it, confused and homesick, while insisting you’re “well integrated” because you can eat som tam without crying?

As I noted, 25+ yrs, have house, kid, wife, dog, BEVs, solar, and didn't bother learning more Thai language than I need.   No longer drink alcohol.

 

Culturally confused ... NO

Part of Thai society ... NO, just part of wife's family

 

Homesick ... NO ... just part of the human race, and happen to have a USA passport, with no allegiance to, or desire to return.  Just one of Earth's wanderers, though never alone, who for now, happened to have settled in TH.

 

Don't need to bash TH, and accept it's a 3rd world country with many modern things, thank you China, for those.

 

 

 

 

 

7 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

 

Yes.

He is doing work in Psychology by lying on the couch.

 

I think he might be talking about Culture Shock or something.

 

He is a newcomer and does not understand living in a foreign land.

Anyway, it requires about 10 years to finally become ensconced in a foreign country.

And, even then, we will all be considered First-Generation Thai People, which is what we are.

 

I’ve been here many years and integrated to some degree, i make the effort.

 

When immigrants move to a new country, how they connect with both their original culture and the new culture can have a big impact on their mental health. Research shows that there are a few common patterns:

Integration/Biculturalism – immigrants identify with both their home culture and the new country. This is linked to the best mental health outcomes.

Separation – immigrants stick mostly to their original culture.

Assimilation – immigrants adopt the new culture but lose touch with their origins.

Marginalization/Indifference – immigrants don’t feel connected to either culture. Unfortunately, this is the scenario linked to the worst mental health outcomes.

For immigrants in places like Thailand, failing to learn the language or connect with locals can push you toward marginalization. You might feel isolated, frustrated, or even depressed - no matter how long you’ve lived here.

Learning the language and making local friends isn’t just practical, it’s essential for your well-being.

1 hour ago, JimCM said:

Because honestly, you’re living in Thailand, but some of you still behave like you’re on extended leave from the local Wetherspoons. You don’t speak the language, you don’t understand the humour, and you treat the locals like background extras in your own little expat soap opera.

So - cultural identity check:

 

So, you mean, speaking Thai makes you a 'Thai'? (Most Thais would disagree.)

 

Also, imagine, all (legal and illegal) immigrants in Britain, or the U.S., who learnt English, would immediately become model British, or American citizens... 😆 

 

Cultural identity doesn't work like that!

1 minute ago, JimCM said:

I’ve been here many years and integrated to some degree, i make the effort.

 

When immigrants move to a new country, how they connect with both their original culture and the new culture can have a big impact on their mental health. Research shows that there are a few common patterns:

Integration/Biculturalism – immigrants identify with both their home culture and the new country. This is linked to the best mental health outcomes.

Separation – immigrants stick mostly to their original culture.

Assimilation – immigrants adopt the new culture but lose touch with their origins.

Marginalization/Indifference – immigrants don’t feel connected to either culture. Unfortunately, this is the scenario linked to the worst mental health outcomes.

For immigrants in places like Thailand, failing to learn the language or connect with locals can push you toward marginalization. You might feel isolated, frustrated, or even depressed - no matter how long you’ve lived here.

Learning the language and making local friends isn’t just practical, it’s essential for your well-being.

I have probably been here longer than you, and I don't speak Thai, because I am Dyslaxative.........😝

16 minutes ago, JimCM said:

When immigrants move to a new country, how they connect with both their original culture and the new culture can have a big impact on their mental health. Research shows that there are a few common patterns:

Integration/Biculturalism – immigrants identify with both their home culture and the new country. This is linked to the best mental health outcomes.

Separation – immigrants stick mostly to their original culture.

Assimilation – immigrants adopt the new culture but lose touch with their origins.

Marginalization/Indifference – immigrants don’t feel connected to either culture. Unfortunately, this is the scenario linked to the worst mental health outcomes.

For immigrants in places like Thailand, failing to learn the language or connect with locals can push you toward marginalization. You might feel isolated, frustrated, or even depressed - no matter how long you’ve lived here.

Learning the language and making local friends isn’t just practical, it’s essential for your well-being.

 

You have made the effort to copy from an AI.

This, I do know.

 

You see, I do not enjoy copy written by an AI.

I have easy access to an AI, Gemini, on my desktop.

I do not need to read the forum to access AI copy.

 

I never use AI without a warning, on these pages.

I suggest that all members do what I do.

 

 

55 minutes ago, JimCM said:

I studied Sociology in my first year at university.

So you flunked out of your first choice dummy major and settled for your second choice dummy major, yes? 

 

Or did you flunk out of psych as well and have to settle for education?

2 hours ago, JimCM said:

Right then, lads.

Interesting. Louie London and Louie Jr. start almost every thread this same way. The rest of it reads just like a Louie lullaby  as well. 

1 hour ago, KhunLA said:

As I noted, 25+ yrs, have house, kid, wife, dog, BEVs, solar, and didn't bother learning more Thai language than I need.   No longer drink alcohol.

 

Culturally confused ... NO

Part of Thai society ... NO, just part of wife's family

 

Homesick ... NO ... just part of the human race, and happen to have a USA passport, with no allegiance to, or desire to return.  Just one of Earth's wanderers, though never alone, who for now, happened to have settled in TH.

 

Don't need to bash TH, and accept it's a 3rd world country with many modern things, thank you China, for those.

 

 

 

 

 

Good post, you are happy.

I agree, no necessity to learn more Thai than needed, to have simple  conversations with neighbors or arrange a loan at the bank, or to further your career, depending on your situation.

29 minutes ago, mogandave said:

So you flunked out of your first choice dummy major and settled for your second choice dummy major, yes? 

 

Or did you flunk out of psych as well and have to settle for education?

No need for negativity, it maketh the man.

1 hour ago, MalcolmB said:

Most do not.

Most Thais in the UK speak English.

 

Is Brits are a very negative lot, love complaining, and we bring this part of our culture to share with the Thais.

You are a classic example of that.

Aaaah, back to the Brit bashing, Cobber..............😂

3 minutes ago, transam said:

Aaaah, back to the Brit bashing, Cobber..............😂

 

He can't avoid it....  like a mental sickness...  He's either taking the most tenuous of links and running with a Brit-Bash... 

... Or posting about his fixation on hookers... 

 

oh... and keeping a file of info on posters so he can attack them at a later date.

1 hour ago, transam said:

I have probably been here longer than you, and I don't speak Thai, because I am Dyslaxative.........😝

Maybe you have, I assume your partner is not Thai, or speaks fluent English.

One thing, if you don’t learn the language of your new country, you’ll never understand the nuances of the culture.

There are so manny resources to learn Thai easily, apps, YouTube etc.

 

1 hour ago, transam said:

I have probably been here longer than you, and I don't speak Thai, because I am Dyslaxative.........😝

I really hate agreeing with you, but fairs fair so a thumbs up for that post.

I did learn to read, write, speak central Thai, but forgot most of it as I don't know any Thai that speaks it as a first language. The reading is useful for road signs and the like, they're all printed in Central Thai.

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

I really hate agreeing with you, but fairs fair so a thumbs up for that post.

I did learn to read, write, speak central Thai, but forgot most of it as I don't know any Thai that speaks it as a first language.

You mean you speak Laoatian now ?

8 minutes ago, JimCM said:

You mean you speak Laoatian now ?

Lanna mainly.

Had trouble at the petrol station this morning, "e-yee-seep, nung roy baht cap" ..... the guy starts pointing at various options, probably Burmese.