If things are not improving  and you both are living a life of misery best get devoirced and go your own way

Try Vietnam supposed to be good there 

 

parting with your loved ones will not improve yoir mental health. 

You require medical help to deal with your depression.. 

1 hour ago, fittobethaied said:

Davidst01, I was in your exact situation 40 years ago while living in the Philippines with my Filipina wife and 2 kids. I can tell you for certain that you have a huge hole in your heart, and you are trying to find peace for your soul in all the wrong places. The only thing that can fill that void and put you on a pathway to sound mental fitness is a relationship with your Creator through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. I was on the verge of losing it all and near suicidal when I finally admitted to myself that I had a "sin problem", and I needed to be rescued from "myself". In desperation I cried out to God and asked HIM to save me and show me how to change my life. I had an old Gideon Bible that I had stolen from a hotel in Hong Kong years before, but I had never opened it up. The Holy Spirit inspired me to begin reading in the Book of John, and for the first time in my life, I began to experience a peace that was beyond my understanding. The Books of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes gave me instructions for right living, and when I began to apply those Godly principles, my life began to change. The Lord delivered me from all of the guilt that I had felt for years, and one by one I escaped from the hold of the sins that were destroying my life as well as all of my close relationships.

You are not alone in your quest to find peace, Davidst01. Here in Thailand, we are surrounded on all sides by those who have been taken captive by Satan to do his will and not that of our Father in Heaven. Your only hope is in a right relationship with God by exercising your God-given faith to believe in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. That is your starting point for a new and righteous relationship with God and with your family. I pray that you will make the right choice going forward and surrender your life to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and study his Word daily to get proper instruction on how to live your life the way God intended for you. God Bless You!

Should have tried the 10 commandments

Thou shalt not steal!

😳🤔🤯

On 10/18/2025 at 5:36 PM, davidst01 said:

I have anger issues and lack patience. Suffered anxiety all my life and find home life and our small business quite stressful. I try to go away once or twice a month as this is the only time I feel normal. Now she is resenting this and trying to stop me from going. 

Did you explain this to her?  The accumulation of stress, problems and lack of time to decompress to be able to coup with all of this is compounding.  You are overwhelmed and reached the limits of maintaining a positive, healthy mindset.

 

Everyone has different triggers and limits.  You identified for you that time away to decompress and get your mind right is key for your ability to maintain a healthy mindset.

 

For some of us it's sports, exercise, walking around somewhere we can disconnect from our problems, talking with that friend who always has jokes and no time for worry.

 

For me it was those 1 hour plus walks out in nature with few people and bike rides around the beach.  You mention friends. Many have acquaintances that we socialize with and bring us joy and fulfillment throughout the week.  Additionally you have control on if you want to be happy or sad.  Not easy some times but just laughing off a problem while working through life's challenges can be pretty powerful.

 

You can do this, we believe in you as you are smart enough to realize the problem and seek help.

...Sounds Like You Brought About This Situation More Than Your Wife Has...(?)

 

...Only Mentioning & Blaming Others Than Blaming Yourself...(?)

 

...Meditation Is A 'Cop-Out'...

 

...As For The Child, This Seems Like The Root Of The Problem...

...Regardless Of What Might Have Been 'Customary' The Child Should Have His/Her Own Room & Bed...

 

...There Is Justified Resentment On The Wife's Part... 

...Bottom Line You Are Selfish & Not To Be Trusted...

 

...Stop Playing The Victim...You Have Hurt A Lot Of People...Repeatedly...

 

...Face Up To It...

 

...Maybe You Had Some Hurt Or Disappointment Earlier In Your Life... (?)

 

...And You Have Been Taking It Out On Them... (?)

 

...'They Love You'....(?)

 

...Whom Do You Love... (?)

 

...Anyone ...(?)    ...Or Not Even Yourself...(?)

 

...Time To Dig Deep & Do Some Soul-Searching...And Grow Up...(?)

 

...Otherwise You Are Just An Irresponsible, Selfish, Adulterous Scoundrel...(?)

 

...Maybe That's The Problem...(?)

 

 

On 10/18/2025 at 6:46 PM, Harrisfan said:

Read Tolle

Yes, especially that, according to Tolle, thinking is a kind of obsessive-compulsive disorder. He's explaining some of the comments in AN to me right now...🫣

It’s not a mental health problem , it’s the fact you haven’t grown up yet

Meaningless comment removed 

 

@Harrisfan

1 hour ago, cowellandrew said:

Should have tried the 10 commandments

Thou shalt not steal!

😳🤔🤯

You missed the point, Sir. Stealing is what "lost" people do, but I am no longer under the power of sin, and I know better now. Don't miss the message of the Cross! It's YOUR only hope too!

3 hours ago, shackleton said:

If things are not improving  and you both are living a life of misery best get devoirced and go your own way

Try Vietnam supposed to be good there 

 

He got a kid in Thailand, why should he move on to Vietnam? Christ sake if you got a kid, you should want to be close to your kid?? 

On 10/18/2025 at 5:36 PM, davidst01 said:

Ive been married to a good woman in Thailand for more than 10 yrs. We have a teenage child. 

 

Ive been fooling around for yrs here and there. I think this is finally taking its toll on my mind. I feel guilty of my actions but can't stop doing it once or twice a month. 

 

I have anger issues and lack patience. Suffered anxiety all my life and find home life and our small business quite stressful. I try to go away once or twice a month as this is the only time I feel normal. Now she is resenting this and trying to stop me from going. 

 

Our marriage is suffering a lot. If we finish the relationship I have nothing except my child. But they will stay together. She will buy me out of the business as already discussed. She has all the staff and her thai family.  I have no friends at all in Thailand basically. 

 

We are hanging in there for now. Im not depressed or anything but dont know what to do about myself. I wonder if I should learn a meditation or something. I will never take a SSRI no way. 

 

We are on holidays now out of Thailand. I feel better about things but soon going back it will all be the same I suppose. I still care for her a lot. She loves me and so does my child. If I end our relationship it will bring them both a lot of misery I think. 

 

Any suggestions? 

 

Your wifes withdrawal of sex is what caused you to look elsewhere and I am prepared to bet that she is stridently unwilling to concede any responsibility for it......and equally stridently opposes engagement in any counselling that might change her behaviour.

 

Consequently you have absolutely no reason to feel guilty about your quest for sex elsewhere.

 

Millions of Thai men, quietly and comfortably dealing with similar circumstances by using extramarital sex partners, would find your sense of guilt unfathomable.

 

Get yourself a Mia Noi closer to home in order make it easy to be back in your kennel before nightfall, be extra sure to keep your tracks covered.

 

 

 

 

11 hours ago, SamSanuk said:

Free suggestion: on YouTube there are chanting videos, usually listed under “Om Namah Shivaya”. Find one you like and just listen to it. Maybe chant along if the mood hits you. In time, you will drift off with the music into a natural meditative experience. Easy.

 

The phrase means I see and honor the divine within me. Hindu. But really doesn’t matter. It’s the sound waves that calm your mind, allowing that peaceful part of you deep inside to resonate. Must keep with it. Make it a daily habit.

I have my own mantra that I have to say everyday to stay sane 'I must lower my expectations'. haha

7 hours ago, Hummin said:

He got a kid in Thailand, why should he move on to Vietnam? Christ sake if you got a kid, you should want to be close to your kid?? 

yes. I agree. I will NEVER abandon my child who needs me. Best thing in my life actually. 

11 hours ago, Freddy42OZ said:

 

 

Why don't you have any friends?  

Where do you live?  Perhaps you should start by getting out and meeting people. There are so many different meetups - check this site out https://www.meetup.com/  

Facebook is also great for finding interesting events and meetups. 

What things are you interested in?  If you like cars there are a huge number of car clubs and groups that meet regularly for coffee and chats, plus of course race days and other events.

In Bangkok there are lots of meetings for alcoholics, addicts etc and you can meet some very interesting people at those.  

I can't imagine having no friends.  In fact I was complaining to some friends the other day that despite living in Bangkok for 17 years, my friend group is still only around 40-50 people.  
 

wow. 40 to 50 people. that is amazing. 

 

I live in a small city that's non touristy. Not many Farang here actually. I tried here but it never lead anywhere. 

10 hours ago, NedR69 said:

If your happiness depends on someone else being happy, you will never find happiness.

 

However, if you do find happiness in the monthly escapes, would you be happy if you never returned?  

What do you do on your one or two escapes each month?   Does it bring you happiness?

 

It's also cheaper to keep her.

When I go away I feel so much better. Homelife is stressful actually with our small business and its hassles. 

1 minute ago, davidst01 said:

wow. 40 to 50 people. that is amazing. 

 

I live in a small city that's non touristy. Not many Farang here actually. I tried here but it never lead anywhere. 

For most sane people it is hard to manage friendships with other foreigners outside the tourist areas out of many reasons. Be it politically, age, culturally and interests, as well many do drink to much for some uknown reason. And lately the very same also might smoke to much to get the days pass in Nomans land. 

To want to live in  Thailand permanently says to me you never had much mental health in the first place. 🤣😂

I do not recommend meditation or that faker Tolle and his nonsense.  Both are doorways to demons.

 

Try going for long walks, surfing, things like that, quiet things.

 

Get off coffee, it's a slow poison and makes anxiety.

 

Good luck mate.

No it's not.

 

You just THINK it is.

 

But, it's not.

 

 

7 hours ago, Woke to Sounds said:

I do not recommend meditation or that faker Tolle and his nonsense.  Both are doorways to demons.

 

Try going for long walks, surfing, things like that, quiet things.

 

Get off coffee, it's a slow poison and makes anxiety.

 

Good luck mate.

Surfing in Thailand lol

20 hours ago, Toby1947 said:

To want to live in  Thailand permanently says to me you never had much mental health in the first place. 🤣😂

But you are stuck in your nanny state living the grind right? Who are you to judge???? 

On 10/22/2025 at 12:04 PM, Toby1947 said:

To want to live in  Thailand permanently says to me you never had much mental health in the first place. 🤣😂

 

It's completely stupid to try to divert this to an anti-Thailand thread.

 

On 10/18/2025 at 6:36 AM, davidst01 said:

Suffered anxiety all my life and find home life and our small business quite stressful.

 

For anxiety, you can try supplements. This is available on iHerb. It helps calm the mind. Or may not work for you, but worth a try. 

 

I tried meditation, but never had the patience for it. I can't stand it. 

 

 

On 10/18/2025 at 6:36 AM, davidst01 said:

Any suggestions? 

 

Did you tell your wife?

Maybe almost everything you said on here, except the cheating part. 

Maybe you don't need to confess that part. 

But she may change her behavior and develop more intimacy to try to save the marriage if you talk to her?

 

Anger issues? Where is the anger coming from? 

Maybe pay a good therapist from a western country who does Facetime if you can't figure it out yourself?

Anger is being caused by the marriage? So then you definitely need to speak to your wife, try to change it and salvage it, or move on.

 

That's all I got.

Best of luck. 

 

You have to do the thing you are scared of.

Weed is legal here now.

Just buy yourself a bong and you will be good again.

On 10/19/2025 at 3:12 PM, FolkGuitar said:

Here is a very simple one that can be done anywhere: living room, sitting under a tree, or at the beach. I don't recommend lying down. You might fall asleep instead. 🙂
20 minutes twice a day is best. 10 minutes twice a day will help.

1. Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down.

2. Close your eyes and take a few deep, slow breaths.

3. Focus your attention on your breath, feeling it go in and out.

4. If your mind wanders, and it will...  gently bring your focus back to your breath. That's the hard part of meditation. Don't get angry at yourself or chide yourself. Just bring your attention back to your breathing. If you prefer, pay attention to the space BETWEEN your breaths. It's the 'paying attention to a single thing' that makes it all work.

It really IS that easy.

The above has increased my clarity.   I personally think once a day for 10 minutes is enough but that is just me.  The Daily Stoic is also a good read or listen to the author's videos.  

 

 

Try Creatine

Exercise a lot

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20250523-the-surprising-health-benefits-of-taking-creatine-powder