Aka not following through with plans previously verbally made ...  Be it girlfriends / dates or friends... There seem to be this tendency of 'quieltly ghosting' rather than speaking simply and directly to the person. 

Same as the Thai smile, it can mean many things.

Possibly avoiding confrontation, or did not really want to do the planned activity in the first place - and too shy to say so.

23 hours ago, Aurelien said:

Aka not following through with plans previously verbally made ...  Be it girlfriends / dates or friends... There seem to be this tendency of 'quieltly ghosting' rather than speaking simply and directly to the person. 

 

It's a real problem. In Thailand you always have to confirm the day before.

 

<removed>

 

 

Also seems to be a thing in the west with Gen Z . 

1 hour ago, Cameroni said:

They're fickle and unreliable.

A disgusting comment! Hopefully the Thai people will go together and sue you for defamation, as you deserve it.

3 hours ago, Aurelien said:

Be it girlfriends / dates or friends... There seem to be this tendency of 'quieltly ghosting' rather than speaking simply and directly to the person. 

Don't take it personally, it's not you. You need to understand these girls, they are looking for money to support their families because the deadbeat father of her child has taken off, not giving her financial support. She doesn't receive welfare or social security. 

 

You're just a number, a customer or something else. 

She ghosts you because she has more important relationships, paying customers etc. 

 

You want her to stop ghosting, offer her money to talk or whatever. 

 

55 minutes ago, Gottfrid said:

A disgusting comment! Hopefully the Thai people will go together and sue you for defamation, as you deserve it.

 

Again?

 

I got more defamation lawsuits than The Sun!.

3 hours ago, Aurelien said:

Aka not following through with plans previously verbally made ...  Be it girlfriends / dates or friends... There seem to be this tendency of 'quieltly ghosting' rather than speaking simply and directly to the person. 

Have never experienced this, though tardiness is common…”see you @ 0900” actually means any time between 0900 & 0959.

5 minutes ago, Cameroni said:

 

Again?

 

I got more defamation lawsuits than The Sun!.

Well deserved, but as usual when you post something. Not true!

thai appointment :   one hour early or two hours too late

 

even with real estate agents

Foreigners learnt ghosting from the locals who will give you the smile and grin and nicely cheat you behind your back. 

2 hours ago, Cameroni said:

 

Again?

 

I got more defamation lawsuits than The Sun!.

So you should. 

6 hours ago, Aurelien said:

Aka not following through with plans previously verbally made ...  Be it girlfriends / dates or friends... There seem to be this tendency of 'quieltly ghosting' rather than speaking simply and directly to the person. 

 

maybe they decided they just don't like you?

 

btw, ghosting isn't a thai thing, if you traveled more widely you'd know it happens all over the world

7 hours ago, Aurelien said:

Aka not following through with plans previously verbally made ...  Be it girlfriends / dates or friends... There seem to be this tendency of 'quieltly ghosting' rather than speaking simply and directly to the person. 

 

That's what Thais do. It usually isn't malevolent in intent, but that's what they do. Get used to it… or better still, acclimatise and start doing it yourself. Making plans, all smiles and good vibes, whilst knowing there is no actual obligation to follow through has distinct advantages.

4 hours ago, Gottfrid said:

A disgusting comment! Hopefully the Thai people will go together and sue you for defamation, as you deserve it.

LOL

13 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

Possibly avoiding confrontation, or did not really want to do the planned activity in the first place - and too shy to say so.

Saying things that they think you want to hear. Avoiding straight talking.

I hear Phuket dudes are reliable....

Somebody correct the typo in the headline please.

They can be buggers for it, love interests and friends. Either intentional in that they’re saving face by not saying no, or just not really bothered and dependent on how they feel when the time comes. Also, in the workplace, tardiness, not turning up, and finishing a job without warning is a real problem among the Thai workforce.  

 

56 minutes ago, Stiddle Mump said:

Saying things that they think you want to hear. Avoiding straight talking.

 

That's very much it, they don't like confrontation and contradiction, just easier to nod and agree while they really don't...!

 

It's more like they want to be kind and not disappoint, it's very hard to get the real feeling or logic or answer out of them. This is the cause of most miscommunication and frustration in farangs and Thai relationship (and we think less of them due to this !) - language barrier doesn't help either..., there are many ways to politely and softly negate or contradict someone, not easy for non-native speakers...

 

But Thais have this natural approach of agree and go along first, but never end up doing what promised..., even between themselves...

 

The answer; try hard to tease it out of them softly and quietly right at the beginning when they artificially agree, give some other option see if they jump on that...., if you master that, will have a happier life in LOS...

 

Do you want to go eat burger for lunch...? Or prefer something else..., busy at lunch..., maybe like dinner at that Thai place...! A lot of options and you might get lucky...😉

I believe it to be a matter of 'time.'
We Westerners have grown up in 'Monochronic' systems; everything we do is based on using time in a linear fashion. We 'schedule' our day, and unconsciously expect others to follow their schedule's too. Otherwise, if the guy ahead of you takes too long, it throws off the schedule for everyone who comes after, and they (be they Westerners) get upset. "Now I'm late!"  9:00, 9:30, 10:00... don't we plan our day so each thing on our list get taken care of in a timely manner? We don't necessarily 'finish' each one or we might be late for the next one! We'll shelve that one for tomorrow's schedule.

But we are on time! (Or at least close. If not, we usually call ahead to let them know.)

Asia, however, follows a  "Polychronic" system. When Asians have many things to get done today, they choose to do the most important ones first. They finish that one even if it takes a little longer. Then they move on the the next chore. But this may mean that they are hours late for the less important chores, but they don't see it as being 'late.' And of course, why call if you're not late?

I remember hearing an exchange on a train platform years ago (I think it was in Chumporn?) one day when a young backpack traveler, concerned because the 3 pm train hadn't arrived and it was now 5 pm, complained to the station master, 'The train is late!'  His reply? "The train isn't late. It just hasn't arrived yet.'
 

13 hours ago, novacova said:

Have never experienced this, though tardiness is common…”see you @ 0900” actually means any time between 0900 & 0959.

That's "thai time" vs. "farang time".

Anyone who has been here long enough knows it and allows for it.

I get more Ghosting from falangs.

5 hours ago, Will Iam Not said:

What a silly thing to say. Do you not know that I do not have a brain, but can still spell THE correctly.

 

What's that white stuff on your face?

I called the suicide hotline one time and they ghosted me. 

Some quarrelsome posts were removed. Please debate the subject politely, without resorting to insults against other members, or our Thai hosts, most of whom are decent people. Thank you. 

19 hours ago, rattlesnake said:

 

That's what Thais do. It usually isn't malevolent in intent, but that's what they do. Get used to it… or better still, acclimatise and start doing it yourself. Making plans, all smiles and good vibes, whilst knowing there is no actual obligation to follow through has distinct advantages.

This happens a lot actually. I find it annoying doing business with thais. They change their mind. block me on line etc. 

On 12/11/2025 at 8:20 PM, chickenslegs said:

Possibly avoiding confrontation, or did not really want to do the planned activity in the first place - and too shy to say so.

Thais have always been superstisious and beliieved in ghosts so what's the problem it's normal for them.

On 12/11/2025 at 9:22 AM, Aurelien said:

Aka not following through with plans previously verbally made ...  Be it girlfriends / dates or friends... There seem to be this tendency of 'quieltly ghosting' rather than speaking simply and directly to the person. 

 

not a thai phenomena, indeed the term originated on social media in the west in the early 2000s, so if you think it's anything to do with thailand you're well mistaken. more like thailand is catching up with the west.