15 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

He may want to jam your middle finger up your rectum. 🖕

Bit of a fixation with rectums recently SF... yesterday it was a driving licence, now its the digit..

13 minutes ago, simon43 said:

I suspect their mother told them porkies as to why I left the UK to live in Thailand (the truth being chronic lung disease exacerbated by the UK climate, and their mother wasn't willing to leave the UK [understandable]). But I'll never know for sure and that's 23 years ago now...

Thanks. I remember you talking about the lung issues in the past.

10 hours ago, simon43 said:

That's how I lead my life now. I have more money in the bank, there is no stress at all because I don't have to think of what others think of me or if they have enough of my money etc. My money (and I'm no millionaire!), is spent mostly on my educational charity in Myanmar, where a little bit of money (or resources purchased with that money) can make a huge difference :)

Thats not nastiness - its self preservation...

10 hours ago, simon43 said:

I still send birthday and xmas cards to my family in the UK. These are ignored by them lol. My grown-up kids have blocked my email address lol. They even blacklist my name/email address on the online birthdy card apps!! So who is nasty? Me or them?

Thats really tragic - heartbreaking... given the following comment... (quote below)

17 minutes ago, simon43 said:

I suspect their mother told them porkies as to why I left the UK to live in Thailand (the truth being chronic lung disease exacerbated by the UK climate, and their mother wasn't willing to leave the UK [understandable]). But I'll never know for sure and that's 23 years ago now...

23 years is a long time to go without speaking to ones children - I couldn't imagine that.

Question (honest curiosity) - what was so much worse about the UK climate ?

Particularly with the pollutants in the air here (even in Laos) being much worse than the UK for the vast majority of the year ?

OR.. is it that in the UK half the population seems to have the flu for the majority of the year ??

I know a number of people with sensitive illnesses who have moved from Asia, back to Europe and the UK specifically because of lung issues and the air quality being better there.

2 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

Thats not nastiness - its self preservation...

Thats really tragic - heartbreaking... given the following comment... (quote below)

23 years is a long time to go without speaking to ones children - I couldn't imagine that.

Question (honest curiosity) - what was so much worse about the UK climate ?

Particularly with the pollutants in the air here (even in Laos) being much worse than the UK for the vast majority of the year ?

OR.. is it that in the UK half the population seems to have the flu for the majority of the year ??

I know a number of people with sensitive illnesses who have moved from Asia, back to Europe and the UK specifically because of lung issues and the air quality being better there.

In fact, it doesn't seem to be a major issue with air pollutants - it's the cooler climate. Already my lungs are beginning to 'suffer' since returning to the UK 4 weeks ago. You might see me back in south-east Asia soon!

Yes, tragic about my UK kids (and their mother). Unfortunately that is their choice. It's one reason why I help young students in the orphanages etc in Myanmar, growing up without parents. Most people want to be part of a family :)

9 minutes ago, simon43 said:

In fact, it doesn't seem to be a major issue with air pollutants - it's the cooler climate. Already my lungs are beginning to 'suffer' since returning to the UK 4 weeks ago. You might see me back in south-east Asia soon!

Yes, tragic about my UK kids (and their mother). Unfortunately that is their choice. It's one reason why I help young students in the orphanages etc in Myanmar, growing up without parents. Most people want to be part of a family :)

Your a good hearted man Simon...respect to you

17 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

As we get older the tendency is for us to become grumpier, grouchier, more selfish and less willing to be flexible, and it becomes more difficult to maintain a jovial, pleasant attitude on a day today.

This is not just grumpiness.

The symptoms as @georgegeorgia describe them are very very often a sign of developing Frontotemporal dementia (FTD), leading often in the beginning stages to social disinhibition, impulsivity and loss of empathy.

Not something to be proud of, but a warning sign to see a doctor,as it it leads to severe, progressive decline over time.

Welcome to the club!

So your main hobby in retirement will be being nasty and grumpy on AN?

1 hour ago, save the frogs said:

Welcome to the club!

So your main hobby in retirement will be being nasty and grumpy on AN?

He has 45 others to join lol

3 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

He has 45 others to join lol

I started out upbeat, but the forum has defeated me and made me bitter.

Yeah

15 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

I started out upbeat, but the forum has defeated me and made me bitter.

Mostly bitter lefties. I just laugh at them.

19 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

I started out upbeat, but the forum has defeated me and made me bitter.

Don't let what anyone on earth says bring you down. People who are constantly doing this have deep rooted issues. Everyone vents, but taking your anger out on others, especially people you don't know, is a mental issue that's their deal to take care of, if at all possible.

Some of the people here would likely be good friends to you, and like any other public forum, some are very disturbed loners who's only agenda is to troll and instigate, trying to get you to react or say things you normally wouldn't. Let them dwell in their own sadness, as toxic people should be avoided as this is what they'll do if you let them. Jealousy rears it's ugly head because they haven't gotten over being treated bad when a child, so they'll do their best to bring you down to their level.

Be yourself, and others like minded will accept you. Words only hurt when you believe them.

6 minutes ago, Harrisfan said:

Mostly bitter lefties. I just laugh at them.

Then there is many who disquise as rightwings here ;-) If we talking about the majority of the forums bitter grumphy members are lefties 😜

2 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Don't let what anyone on earth says bring you down. People who are constantly doing this have deep rooted issues. Everyone vents, but taking your anger out on others, especially people you don't know, is a mental issue that's their deal to take care of, if at all possible.

Some of the people here would likely be good friends to you, and like any other public forum, some are very disturbed loners who's only agenda is to troll and instigate, trying to get you to react or say things you normally wouldn't. Let them dwell in their own sadness, as toxic people should be avoided as this is what they'll do if you let them. Jealousy rears it's ugly head because they haven't gotten over being treated bad when a child, so they'll do their best to bring you down to their level.

Be yourself, and others like minded will accept you. Words only hurt when you believe them.

How do you know their childhood made them bitter?

2 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Don't let what anyone on earth says bring you down. People who are constantly doing this have deep rooted issues. Everyone vents, but taking your anger out on others, especially people you don't know, is a mental issue that's their deal to take care of, if at all possible.

Some of the people here would likely be good friends to you, and like any other public forum, some are very disturbed loners who's only agenda is to troll and instigate, trying to get you to react or say things you normally wouldn't. Let them dwell in their own sadness, as toxic people should be avoided as this is what they'll do if you let them. Jealousy rears it's ugly head because they haven't gotten over being treated bad when a child, so they'll do their best to bring you down to their level.

Be yourself, and others like minded will accept you. Words only hurt when you believe them.

Who made you the forum psychiatrist?

Just now, georgegeorgia said:

Who made you the forum psychiatrist?

He read books 30 years ago lol

3 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Then there is many who disquise as rightwings here ;-) If we talking about the majority of the forums bitter grumphy members are lefties 😜

Oh please that's a big assumption or perception....I can't actually work out the difference between assumption and perception if anyone can help me on that

Just now, Harrisfan said:

How do you know their childhood made them bitter?

That's where most problems originate, or how you learn to deal with them. If a parent teaches his children love, care, honesty, trust and how to deal with toxic people, they go into the world knowing how to adjust and accept others for what they are, and how to avoid the ones who are only out to hurt.

Just now, fredwiggy said:

That's where most problems originate, or how you learn to deal with them. If a parent teaches his children love, care, honesty, trust and how to deal with toxic people, they go into the world knowing how to adjust and accept others for what they are, and how to avoid the ones who are only out to hurt.

Oh so you believe in nature or nurture , in your case nurture .

Please leave the idiosyncratic thesis for those who are academic inclined

Just now, georgegeorgia said:

Oh please that's a big assumption or perception....I can't actually work out the difference between assumption and perception if anyone can help me on that

Assumption is thinking you know how things are with no evidence as factual. Perception is how you see them from your own experiences and feelings, which like all feelings, come and go like the wind.

2 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

That's where most problems originate, or how you learn to deal with them. If a parent teaches his children love, care, honesty, trust and how to deal with toxic people, they go into the world knowing how to adjust and accept others for what they are, and how to avoid the ones who are only out to hurt.

I think most mental issues are linked to the body. Lots of people don't like their face or body. The outside world has little to do with behaviour.

Just now, georgegeorgia said:

Oh so you believe in nature or nurture , in your case nurture .

Please leave the idiosyncratic thesis for those who are academic inclined

If you don't understand, then you can research more. I believe in nature and nurture. Facts and life experience.

Just now, Harrisfan said:

I think most mental issues are linked to the body. Lots of people don't like their face or body. The outside world has little to do with behaviour.

How you experience your childhood, and how you learn to think, react and behave do have a great influence on your physical body.

But if you start training your brain, even in your elderly days, you can learn to produce happy chemicals and hormones again. Especially if you start doing some new things, that makes you move, sit less, and also exercise and eat happy food!

Just now, Harrisfan said:

I think most mental issues are linked to the body. Lots of people don't like their face or body. The outside world has little to do with behaviour.

The outside world has almost everything to do with behavior. Most of what a person is, is learned from 0-5, and bolstered from then until you leave the house. If your parents showed little love and care, or were abusive, you go into the world thinking it's what is.

Mental issues can be ingrained from learning like narcissism, or genetic like depression. Not liking what you are is also learned from childhood, acceptance from family and then friends. What people say can affect how you think, even if you know the truth. This is how narcissists work. they have you thinking you are the problem or a victim, and you either accept it or leave.

2 minutes ago, Hummin said:

How you experience your childhood, and how you learn to think, react and behave do have a great influence on your physical body.

But if you start training your brain, even in your elderly days, you can learn to produce happy chemicals and hormones again. Especially if you start doing some new things, that makes you move, sit less, and also exercise and eat happy food!

Do more and think less. Thinking causes the problem.

1 minute ago, fredwiggy said:

The outside world has almost everything to do with behavior. Most of what a person is, is learned from 0-5, and bolstered from then until you leave the house. If your parents showed little love and care, or were abusive, you go into the world thinking it's what is.

Mental issues can be ingrained from learning like narcissism, or genetic like depression. Not liking what you are is also learned from childhood, acceptance from family and then friends. What people say can affect how you think, even if you know the truth. This is how narcissists work. they have you thinking you are the problem or a victim, and you either accept it or leave.

Nah it is the opposite. Most people who suicide have face or body issues. They don't like themselves. The outside world has little to do with anything.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is strongly linked to suicide risk, with individuals experiencing severe distress over perceived facial or bodily flaws. Research shows that up to 80% of people with BDD experience suicidal ideation, and 24–28% have attempted suicide, significantly higher than the general population. In one case, a 19-year-old male with delusional beliefs about facial disfigurement attempted suicide due to hopelessness, later diagnosed with BDD after being misdiagnosed with depression. Treatment with fluoxetine and cognitive behavioral therapy led to full recovery.

As someone once said, "I can explain it for you, but I can't understand it for you " 😄

Just now, Harrisfan said:

Nah it is the opposite. Most people who suicide have face or body issues. They don't like themselves. The outside world has little to do with anything.

No. most have depression, a chemical imbalance in the brain, and sometimes hardships push them over the edge, with them thinking they can't go another day with the pain. Many people who take their lives have good lives in general. Many are pretty and handsome, with money and success. Many are in good shape but their thinking doesn't match reality. A percentage does have issues related to how they feel about themselves, even if they are in shape or good looking. BDD has it's own unique association with suicidal thoughts, even without depression. Some keep these thoughts all their lives without reacting, while some do take their lives.

Again, the outside world has a tremendous effect on everyone, some more than others. How you react to stress is how your life succeeds or fails, with a lot of grey in between.

4 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

No. most have depression, a chemical imbalance in the brain, and

Proven wrong years ago.

The idea that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance, particularly low serotonin levels, is not supported by current scientific evidence.

A comprehensive umbrella review published in Molecular Psychiatry by University College London (UCL) scientists analyzed decades of research and found no convincing evidence that depression results from low serotonin or abnormal serotonin activity. This review, which included tens of thousands of participants, examined blood and brain fluid levels, serotonin receptors, the serotonin transporter, gene variations, and studies where serotonin was artificially lowered—none showed a consistent link to depression.

Instead, the research highlights adverse life events, stress, trauma, chronic inflammation, and dysregulation of the HPA-axis (which controls stress hormones like cortisol) as stronger contributors to depression. These findings suggest depression is a complex response to life circumstances and biological stressors, not a simple deficiency in brain chemicals.