^ Not sure how many boat people you could get on that recently aquired ship of yours, Harcourt. Might have to make a few trips to break even.

I remember a few years back we had to sort out about 78 Chinese boat people who ran a ship aground on Cape York and then ran and hid in the mangrove swamps. They came out and surrendered when they worked out it wasn't the best place from which to start a trip on foot to Sydney.

I flew virtually around Australia in about 18 hours as part of a massive exercise to move them all to a processing centre in Port Hedland.

Why not leave them where they were?

^ Not sure how many boat people you could get on that recently aquired ship of yours, Harcourt. Might have to make a few trips to break even.

I remember a few years back we had to sort out about 78 Chinese boat people who ran a ship aground on Cape York and then ran and hid in the mangrove swamps. They came out and surrendered when they worked out it wasn't the best place from which to start a trip on foot to Sydney.

I flew virtually around Australia in about 18 hours as part of a massive exercise to move them all to a processing centre in Port Hedland.

Why not leave them where they were?

There's been a few cases where refugees were dropped off in remote areas (including, on one occasion, a small island off the Kimberley coast) where they thought they just had to cross the first sandhills to get the train to the big city.

There was an amusing little film made a couple of years ago about that very situation:

Lucky Miles

With Awwstraylee'er Day approaching I thought this should be on the front page again.

Here in the Saigon Hash we're having an Aust. Day run on Sunday, even if it is a couple of days out.

Got to keep the colonials happy.

When other nationalities dream about being Australian they wake up stuck to the mattress.

Because a 500 pound Nigerian has just raped them?

I was more thinking of a physical manifestation of overjoyedness occurring.

I was more thinking of a physical manifestation of overjoyedness occurring.

Maybe both could happen at the same time?

Only in Oz.

By the way - was watching the Darwin 7s today - the real game must be starting soon?

(15 a side)

7 what? Why do they call it 7s if there's 15 in a side? Do you have to score 7 runs to win?

Sorry Humph, I'm flying back to Thailand today and my soul is once more free!

Only in Oz.

By the way - was watching the Darwin 7s today - the real game must be starting soon?

(15 a side)

Here y'are Humph..... and others interested in a MAN'S sport.

Carn the BLUES.

WEEK 1 - * No D/L Savings in Perth & Brisbane

Times are, Local, GMT and kick off locally for 1st week.

Easier to go here for full season.......

http://www.rugby.com.au/verve/_resources/2...s_at_7.9.09.pdf

1. Friday 12 February Blues v Hurricanes Auckland 19:35 19:35 Fri 12 Feb 19:35 Fri 12 Feb 17:35 Fri 12 Feb 08:35

2. Friday 12 February Western Force v Brumbies Perth * 19:05 11:05 Sat 13 Feb 00:05 Fri 12 Feb 22:05 Fri 12 Feb 13:05

3. Friday 12 February Cheetahs v Bulls Bloemfontein 19:10 17:10 Sat 13 Feb 06:10 Sat 13 Feb 04:10 Fri 12 Feb 19:10

4. Saturday 13 February Crusaders v Highlanders Christchurch 19:35 06:35 Sat 13 Feb 19:35 Sat 13 Feb 17:35 Sat 13 Feb 08:35

5. Saturday 13 February Reds v Waratahs Brisbane * 18:40 08:40 Sat 13 Feb 21:40 Sat 13 Feb 19:40 Sat 13 Feb 10:40

6. Saturday 13 February Lions v Stormers Johannesburg 17:05 15:05 Sun 14 Feb 04:05 Sun 14 Feb 02:05 Sat 13 Feb 17:05

7. Saturday 13 February Sharks v Chiefs Durban 19:10 17:10 Sun 14 Feb 06:10 Sun 14 Feb 04:10 Sat

7 what? Why do they call it 7s if there's 15 in a side? Do you have to score 7 runs to win?

Sorry Humph, I'm flying back to Thailand today and my soul is once more free!

He said, "7s", 7 a side, truncated and brilliantly fast REAL game.

Gunna be in the Olympics soon, yaaaaaaay!!!!!!!

There's been a few cases where refugees were dropped off in remote areas (including, on one occasion, a small island off the Kimberley coast) where they thought they just had to cross the first sandhills to get the train to the big city.

There was an amusing little film made a couple of years ago about that very situation:

Lucky Miles

Australia's ABC1 is showing the film I mentioned above, at 8.30 tonight for those who are interested and able to connect.

A preview can be seen here:

ABC1

There's been a few cases where refugees were dropped off in remote areas (including, on one occasion, a small island off the Kimberley coast) where they thought they just had to cross the first sandhills to get the train to the big city.

There was an amusing little film made a couple of years ago about that very situation:

Lucky Miles

Australia's ABC1 is showing the film I mentioned above, at 8.30 tonight for those who are interested and able to connect.

A preview can be seen here:

ABC1

I'd love to watch it...does it show a young Old Croc pilot somewhere?

7 what? Why do they call it 7s if there's 15 in a side? Do you have to score 7 runs to win?

Sorry Humph, I'm flying back to Thailand today and my soul is once more free!

Gawd - must be an 18-a-sider.

Sevens is the faster, early-season game, used for training and excellent in it's own right.

Only three forwards (donkeys to those who understand the game) and four who combine 5/8ths and 3/4 play. No back.

If you had seen the closing stages today, there were really good matches, where the Fijian favourites (South Sea Drifters)(should have been called the South Sea Bubble this year) were eliminated in the semi-finals and their conquerors (Samurai International - Aussie and Kiwi side) were flattened by the newcomers from Borneo.

But the best was the Ladies final, where the Queensland Reds beat the Amazons (NSW members of the Aussie national side)

These 'ladies' were tougher tacklers than any of the men. Really got stuck in.

Anyway, all a good lead in to Australia Day on Toooosday.

Australian of the Year later today.....

This years' winner will come from a field of finalists who are relatively unknown to most, such as human rights advocate Professor Patricia Easteal and tasmanian devil expert Bruce Englefield.

Environmentalist Jon Dee, filmmaker Warwick Thornton, Indigenous educator Chris Sarra, Alzheimer's expert Professor Ralph Martins and charity founder and Bali bombing victim Julian Burton are also up for the award.

Past winners include :-

Sir Macfarlane Burnett....................Dame Joan Sutherland................................... Dawn Fraser

Cardinal Sir Norman Gilroy.............. Sir Robert Helpmann ....................................The Seekers..

Alan Bond.. ................................ Patrick White................................................. Paul Hogan

General Peter Cosgrove................ Arthur Boyd............................................... Mandawuy Yunupingu.

Fiona Wood.................................Lowitja O'Donoghue.................................... Mick Dodson.

Plus numerous Australian cricket captains, sports-persons and entertainers in general.

Special mentions for Sir Edward "Weary" Dunlop and Fred Hollows

Greetings for Australia Day tomorrow..............

Reproduced without comment nor alteration:

On top of the world in the country that won Lotto - ROSS CAMERON

January 24, 2010

After sober reflection, it is my duty to inform you that Australia is the greatest country in history. Of the 192 members of the United Nations, the United States, with a 200-year head start and 14 times our numbers, takes line honours, but Australia wins on handicap. Donald Horne may be embarrassed about his Lucky Country epithet but he shouldn't be - Australia has won Lotto.

No other nation in history has enjoyed a whole continent to itself - the only island-continent outside Antarctica. We have more land per person then any country except Greenland and Namibia. The five larger nations live with difficult neighbours. Our regional acquaintances are all our friends, affection sustained by a calming stretch of ocean.

In the past, our geography posed risks as wars raged from one end of Asia to the other.

Today Asian sharemarkets are booming and their middle classes exploding, with a rapacious appetite for the things we do best (resources, education, tourism, financial services and ingenuity). Email and aviation have reduced the problems of distance.

The great blemish of our story is frontier killing of the first Australians and the subsequent failure to produce Aboriginal communities that work in a modern world. But it's not all failure. When the US was tearing itself apart in the civil rights movement, Australians voted 91 per cent to extend legal equality to Aborigines. Newer indigenous leaders like Noel Pearson furnish hope that there is a way forward.

Australia has never experienced a war on home soil. All of our extended family members - the US, Britain, Canada, Ireland, South Africa and even New Zealand - have suffered significant civil wars. Our six states happily voted to bond in independent federation with the support of our colonial parent. The chronic over-achiever, Western Australia, got its nose out of joint in the 1930s but otherwise we have no history of secessionism. Elsewhere, accents fractionate people into place of origin but there is no change in inflection among the Australian-born from Perth to Parramatta.

Australia has the highest population growth in the developed world. The 51st most populous nation has built the 14th biggest economy. Of the 13 larger economies, all but Canada have populations at least twice our size. Over the past 28 years, Australia's economy has grown faster than every larger OECD economy. We could easily make the top 10 in a generation.

Australia has been honoured with more World Natural Heritage sites than any nation. In 1879 we opened the world's second national park and today 11.5 per cent of Australia is forever protected. The platypus surely wins most exotic animal, and the Great Barrier Reef easily wins the battle of the coral seas. We have abundant bird life and the most beautiful and intelligent parrots enrich our lives with 65 magical native species.

There few sports in which Australia does not excel. Even in the 2006 football World Cup, out of 196 national teams, we made the final 16. In the Olympic total medal count we placed fifth in Atlanta, fourth in Sydney and Athens and fifth in Beijing. The nations consistently beating us are the three Cold War superpowers. The Commonwealth Games might be accurately renamed "Australia versus the rest".

Our traditions are shaped by an ethos that success entails duty. Australia gives a new home to 13,000 refugees each year which in raw numbers is second to the US and, per capita, easily the largest voluntary resettlement program. Eighty-five per cent of boat arrivals stay. The BRW Rich 200 List is top-heavy with refugees and their children, indicating a culture of social mobility and merit promotion. We are prepared to give the new guy a go.

Our capitals routinely rank in the world's most liveable cities, we are the 10th tallest, with the fifth highest life expectancy. We've had two Miss Worlds, two Miss Universes, a dozen Nobel Laureates, several Booker Prize winners and Australians routinely feature at the Oscars. The global language is our first language and we are first cousins to the two centres of cultural influence globally - the US and Britain.

While we are pacific in temperament, we have not shirked the fight. In my view, Australia has been on the right side of history in every war. We have come to the defence of small nations being bullied by larger ones and liberated people from the imposition or continuation of brutal dictatorships. We could not have prevailed in either world war without the US but it was a late starter both times. Russia deserted in World War I and began in alliance with Germany in World War II. New Zealand lost faith before the Cold War finished. Australia could easily have decided those distant wars weren't ours, but our sense of justice meant we led from the front.

Even if, in some mass panic or delusion, we elected an old-style Labor leftie or Green as prime minister, it is hard to see the Australian juggernaut being diverted. Nothing will dampen the exhilaration one feels at the end of a long flight, when the Qantas jet tilts over Sydney Harbour. We may wonder what blessing to humankind awaits this relaxed, open, welcoming and ingenious people. It may offend our innate modesty but there is a solid factual basis to suggest Australia is the most noble, happy and lucky mid-sized nation history has known. Happy birthday.

Ross Cameron is a former Liberal MP for Parramatta.

Source: The Sydney Morning Herald

So - do Australians believe what their politicians tell them?

THE AUSSIE DUNNY

They were funny looking buildings, that were once a way of life,

If you couldn't sprint the distance, then you really were in strife.

They were nailed, they were wired, but were mostly falling down,

There was one in every yard, in every house, in every town.

They were given many names, some were even funny,

But to most of us, we knew them as the outhouse or the dunny.

I've seen some of them all gussied up, with painted doors and all,

But it really made no difference, they were just a port of call.

Now my old man would take a bet, he'd lay an even pound,

That you wouldn't make the dunny with them turkeys hangin' round.

They had so many uses, these buildings out the back,"

You could even hide from mother, so you wouldn't get the strap.

That's why we had good cricketers, never mind the bumps,

We used the pathway for the wicket and the dunny door for stumps.

Now my old man would sit for hours, the smell would rot your socks,

He read the daily back to front in that good old thunderbox.

And if by chance that nature called sometime through the night,

You always sent the dog in first, for there was no flamin' light.

And the dunny seemed to be the place where crawlies liked to hide,

But never ever showed themselves until you sat inside.

There was no such thing as Sorbent, no tissues there at all,

Just squares of well read newspaper, a hangin' on the wall.

If you had some friendly neighbours, as neighbours sometimes are,

You could sit and chat to them, if you left the door ajar.

When suddenly you got the urge, and down the track you fled,

Then of course the magpies were there to peck you on your head.

Then the time there was a wet, the rain it never stopped,

If you had an urgent call, you ran between the drops.

The dunny man came once a week, to these buildings out the back,

And he would leave an extra can, if you left for him a zac.

For those of you who've no idea what I mean by a zac,

Then you're too young to have ever had, a dunny out the back.

For it seems today they call them the bathroom, or the loo,

If you've never had one out the back, then I feel sorry for you.

For it used to be a way of life, to race along the track,

To answer natures call, at these buildings out the back.

Ours was looking over a river, fab view.

Neva shut the door unless wind was blowing rain in.

Lotsa reading matter, and an old phone book for...... well you know what.

This is an old classic, great poem, goes for NZ too.

Oh Dear, what can the matter be

Two old ladies, locked in the lavatory

They've been there from Monday to Saturday

Nobody knew they were there.

(I can't attribute....it's an oldie.)

Acacia pycnantha

Greetings on Australia Day

(I still wish they'd find an alternative day instead of celebrating the British invasion day..)

THE AUSSIE DUNNY

They were funny looking buildings, that were once a way of life,

If you couldn't sprint the distance, then you really were in strife.

They were nailed, they were wired, but were mostly falling down,

There was one in every yard, in every house, in every town.

They were given many names, some were even funny,

But to most of us, we knew them as the outhouse or the dunny.

I've seen some of them all gussied up, with painted doors and all,

But it really made no difference, they were just a port of call.

Now my old man would take a bet, he'd lay an even pound,

That you wouldn't make the dunny with them turkeys hangin' round.

They had so many uses, these buildings out the back,"

You could even hide from mother, so you wouldn't get the strap.

That's why we had good cricketers, never mind the bumps,

We used the pathway for the wicket and the dunny door for stumps.

Now my old man would sit for hours, the smell would rot your socks,

He read the daily back to front in that good old thunderbox.

And if by chance that nature called sometime through the night,

You always sent the dog in first, for there was no flamin' light.

And the dunny seemed to be the place where crawlies liked to hide,

But never ever showed themselves until you sat inside.

There was no such thing as Sorbent, no tissues there at all,

Just squares of well read newspaper, a hangin' on the wall.

If you had some friendly neighbours, as neighbours sometimes are,

You could sit and chat to them, if you left the door ajar.

When suddenly you got the urge, and down the track you fled,

Then of course the magpies were there to peck you on your head.

Then the time there was a wet, the rain it never stopped,

If you had an urgent call, you ran between the drops.

The dunny man came once a week, to these buildings out the back,

And he would leave an extra can, if you left for him a zac.

For those of you who've no idea what I mean by a zac,

Then you're too young to have ever had, a dunny out the back.

For it seems today they call them the bathroom, or the loo,

If you've never had one out the back, then I feel sorry for you.

For it used to be a way of life, to race along the track,

To answer natures call, at these buildings out the back.

This is an old classic, great poem, goes for NZ too.

And in the old country - had a girl-friend from Skewen in South Wales. Six families shared a dunny there, and it was in use 24/7. The crawlies in that area were 'Black Pats' - bloody great cockroaches that must have come up from the mines, or summat. (Don't know if there were mines around Skewen, even)

Oh Dear, what can the matter be

Two old ladies, locked in the lavatory

They've been there from Monday to Saturday

Nobody knew they were there.

(I can't attribute....it's an oldie.)

Oh Dear, What Can the Matter Be

Oh, dear what can the matter be?

Seven old ladies got stuck in the lavatory

They were there from Sunday to Saturday

Nobody knew they were there.

The first to come in was old Mrs. Flynn

She prided herself on being so thin

But when she sat down, the poor dear fell in

And nobody knew she was there.

CHORUS:

The next to come in was old Mrs. Bender

She wanted to fix up a broken suspender

It snapped and injured her feminine gender

And nobody knew she was there.

CHORUS:

The third to come in was old Mrs. Humphrey

When she sat down she found it quite comfy

She tried to get up but could not get her rump free

nd nobody knew she was there.

CHORUS:

The fourth to come in was old Mrs. Brewster

She couldn't see as well as she used to

Sat on the handle, swore someone had goosed her

And nobody knew she was there.

CHORUS:

The next to go in was young Mrs. Slaughter

She was the Duke of Effingham's daughter.

She went there to pass off superfluous water

And nobody knew she was there.

CHORUS:

The sixth to go in was old Mrs. Murray

Who had to go in a bit of a hurry

But when she got there it was too late to worry

And nobody knew she was there.

CHORUS:

The last to go in was old Mrs. Sickle

She hurdled the door 'cause she hadn't a nickle

Caught her foot in the bowl, oh what a pickle

And nobody knew she was there.

CHORUS:

When the enemy reached Australia's largest state last year, the Kimberley Toad Busters knew the battle was on.

But they didn't expect that officialdom might strip them of their most effective weapon.

The enemy? The cane toad. The weapon? Plastic bags full of carbon dioxide — long considered the animal-friendly

alternative to whacking the creatures with golf clubs or cricket bats.

But Western Australia's Department of Environment and Conservation isn't so sure that euthanizing Bufo marinus

with carbon dioxide is the kindest way to go, and says further tests are needed.

Should the tests prove the toads are suffering, the carbon dioxide option could be banned across Western Australia.

And that, the Toad Busters fear, would make the war against cane toads virtually unwinnable.

Keep on whacking them instead, says the government. But to many, that makes no sense.

"Oh my lord, what are they saying?" cried Lisa Ahrens, a veteran toad fighter. "That's going right back to giving people

a golf stick and telling them to go forth and conquer!"

This all may sound like a simple matter of bureaucracy and humane pest control, but cane toads are a 75-year-old Australian nightmare,

and they amount to a cautionary tale about the difficulties that can crop up when humans try to reverse their environmental blunders.

The toads, native to Central and South America, were deliberately introduced to Queensland, on the other side of the continent from Western Australia,

in 1935 in an unsuccessful attempt to control beetles on sugarcane plantations.

The toads bred rapidly, and their millions-strong population now threatens many species across Australia. They spread diseases, such as salmonella,

and their skin exudes a venom that can kill would-be predators. They are also voracious eaters, gorging on insects, frogs, small reptiles and mammals,

and birds. Cane toads are only harmful to humans if their poison is swallowed.

THE NEWCASTLE SONG

Bob Hudson

Chorus:

Dont' you ever let a chance go by,

O Lord,

Don't you ever let a chance go by.

Yes, up in Newcastle they have very strange mating habits.

All the young women of Newcastle

walk down the main street

which is called Hunter Street

for reasons that will become obvious

later on in the song.

All the young men of Newcastle

drive down Hunter Street

in their hot FJ Holdens

with chrome plated grease nipples

and double reverse

overhead twin cam door handles,

sitting eight abreast in the front seat,

and they lean out of the window

and say real cool things to the sheilas

on the footpath, like 'Aah g'day'.

And every now and then, of course,

one of the young ladies thinks to herself

Ummmm

she thinks

Ummmmm.

Chorus

Don't you ever let a chance go by, oh Lord

Don't you ever let a chance go by

Anyway there was this mob of blokes

driving down Hunter Street

in the front seat of the hot FJ

with chrome plated grease nipples

and twin overhead foxtails,

and the coolest of them all,

who got to sit near the window,

was young Norm.

And they pulled up outside

the Parthenon milk bar

and standing outside

the Parthenon was this beautiful looking sheila.

Oooh! Oooh! said young Normie

who'd come top of his class in English,

Ooooh! he said.

So he leaned out of the window,

and he said real, real suave like,

he said G'day.

This nine foot tall hel_l's Angel

came out of the Parthenon milk bar,

looked at Norm and said

Arr, what are ya?

Norm said What are you?

Bloke on the footpath said

D'ya want a go, do ya mate, eh?

Norm said Yeah, d'you want a go, mate?

Bloke on the footpath said

Yeah I'll have a go

Norm said

D'you know who you're picking?

The bloke on the footpath said

Nah, who am I picking?

Norm said

You find out

And all of a sudden there was a break in the traffic,

and as any young Newcastle lad knows-

when you're getting monstered

by a nine foot tall Hells Angel

and there's a break in the traffic....

Chorus

Don't you ever let a chance go by, oh Lord

Don't you ever let a chance go by

Strewth, the Strine way of speaking may be about to disappear.

SYDNEY - For Australians slaving over the barbie, one piece of news yesterday made the prospect of burning the sausages pale into insignificance: the famous "Strine" accent is under threat and may be disappearing.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/artic...jectid=10622484

THE AUSSIE DUNNY

That brings back memories. We used to keep a rolled up newspaper in ours just in case the funnel-webs got shirty

Would have been redbacks endure, funnelwebs live on the bottom of swimming pools, redbacks prefer the dunny.

Would have been redbacks endure, funnelwebs live on the bottom of swimming pools, redbacks prefer the dunny.

We had redbacks too but our back yard was clay and full of large cracks which the funnel webs lived in. If you stamped the ground near a crack they'd come rearing out at you.

Would have been redbacks endure, funnelwebs live on the bottom of swimming pools, redbacks prefer the dunny.

Drained swimming pools, I assume.

Or is this a very adaptable spider?

(I thought funnelwebs liked your garage or garden shed - tucked in just above the door - in a nice nook)(or crannie)

There were a number of incidents where people were bitten in swimming pools a few years back. It was assumed that the spiders had fallen into the pool and were unable to get out.