Having A Bad Day / Week/ Month

[jubby]

Well folks I need to vent . Not sure I'm allowed to but here goes :-

OK, we all have bad days , bad weeks even .

Sonkrans well and truely behind us, only a few casualties that I know of personaly.

The Inlaws have returned from the trip to the Chiang Mai mental hospital with a prescription as I expected. Can't help thinking it was a failure of the 30 baht health system and that if I had purchased health insurance for all of them they would be all safely and securely in straightjackets by now

A couple of Storms have left me with a few roof tiles to fix, several trees to remove and a general mess everywhere; Don't know where to start.

The last three days, we've lost approx 17 Ducks to a Dog or Two. Kids got a look at the Dogs but I can't help thinking that if I was to camp out at the neigbours demanding payment for my losses I'd be completely wasting my time.

Kids computers been on the Blink. Local Computer Wizz Kid who has two successsful shops can't seem to fix it. A windows system file keeps getting currupt. Wizz Kid reloads windows for 200 baht and the computer comes back missing bits everytime. OK, last time the fans weren't working because he had disconnected the wiring, this time I'm missing a hardDrive. The problem was because the Kids leave a games disk in the CD/DVD compartment and the fact I was born yesterday, maybe its because the Kids Disk was an Original and not a pirate copy that the pirate Copy of Windows that I now seem to have doesn't like it or something. Never mentioned the Harddrive. Pointless complaining even if I could speak thai. Ofcourse I did complain and meraculously the diskdrive appears in his hand but he's not a happy chappy; afterall , He always removes a Harddrive if you can spare it and he's never had a complaint before. Go figure why

One of the Motorbikes doesn't sound very well. I took it in several times, the first time they cleaned everything and it was fine for a day. the problem is almost certainly a problem with the starter system, most likely the starter motor sticking. its only done 6000 kms but its a few years old . This time they change a piston in the engine. There ya go. all fixed. <deleted>. But what about the strange noise and why do I have to kick start it.

Again no point discussing why they changed the piston, afterall no ones every complained before, Everyone gets a new Piston <deleted>, whats the problem , Its the Bloody farang again. Never satisfied. why does he have the audacity to question things, Does he not understand this face thing at all .

Anyway, atleast I'm not in the mental Hospital myself and I'm not about to engage in a Civil war over this Face thingy.

Anyway, thanks for listening, I feel better already. Its good to talk

Edited April 27, 2010 by jubby

[svenivan]

"Anyway, thanks for listening, I feel better already. Its good to talk "

Mai pen rai krap!

[jackdawson]

that's the most depressing thing i've ever read

and i read a lot of depressing things here

[sorensen]

At least you are not complaining about the air quality or water level in the Mekong river, which seem to be a favourite among the northern farang population.

Get a sling shot, have a few cold ones, enjoy the sunset and teach the local dogs a lesson.

[jubby]

At least you are not complaining about the air quality or water level in the Mekong river, which seem to be a favourite among the northern farang population.

Get a sling shot, have a few cold ones, enjoy the sunset and teach the local dogs a lesson.

Thanks sorensen, A few Cold ones planned . Funny thing about the Dog/Dogs. They didn't touch the Chickens. Probably been Taught already about chickens. If I can catch them , the Dogs that is. I'm going to attempt to rip them apart with my bare hands. That should be a fair fight I think and prompt some comment from our Dog Lovers.

The other option is to let them take all the Ducks I suppose. yeah ... maybe thats the best solution.

Oh, I was complaining about the Air Quality last month

I've fixed a few things in my life, Cars , Computers etc.. So its having a little knowledge of the Job in hand which makes it difficult sometimullshit sometimes dished out to save Face.

Thanks for Listening Sven, and well jackdawson I guess your joking ! ? ....... Right !?

[samuibeachcomber]

hope you feel better.Make sure you are not next in line for the mental hospital,am told its a fine line.

[jubby]

hope you feel better.Make sure you are not next in line for the mental hospital,am told its a fine line.

Indeed it is. I'll certainly be venting some rather disturbing laughter to myself this evening after having a few pints of Knowledge.

my problem is I don't learn from my mistakes, I've had it all before.

No the fine line or breaking point would be having to return to Mr Brown and War Criminal Blairs Blighty .

[villagefarang]

I'm surprised some of our more devout Buddhist members haven't suggested you are receiving karmic payback of some sort.

We had some damage from the wind last night, too, but I'm pretty sure it was because of that cobra we kill earlier in the evening. But what was I to do? Our dogs had it cornered and quite riled up. It was either the snake or the dogs and I of course was on the side of the dogs.

So either the dead snake got his revenge on our house or shit just happens.

[samuibeachcomber]

hope you feel better.Make sure you are not next in line for the mental hospital,am told its a fine line.

Indeed it is. I'll certainly be venting some rather disturbing laughter to myself this evening after having a few pints of Knowledge.

my problem is I don't learn from my mistakes, I've had it all before.

No the fine line or breaking point would be having to return to Mr Brown and War Criminal Blairs Blighty .

returning to blighty would be instant karma,a fate worse than death.

[jubby]

VF, I've witnessed this 'Fox in a Hen house' situation too many times . I'll side with the Cobra in future, atleast until I see the next cute puppy .

Karmic Payback, I doub't it, but I never dismiss anything outright.

Shit does just happen here granted but the face thing in the repair shops is a travesty. Why can't they just say they haven't got a F8&ing Clue how to fix anything they haven't fixed before and save me the couple of thousand baht

Oh and do excuse my french

Edited April 27, 2010 by jubby

[bifftastic]

Apparently some dogs in my g/f's street were 'misbehaving' now there's one less than there used to be. I've been told it was 'aroi mak mak' not that she tasted it but she has it on good authority. When I was there, after a particularly noisy night, I suggested the idea of Tum Yum Ma.

Maybe you should discuss the price of a single duck, then the price of a dog whilst building a fire and getting a cooking pot ready 'so, after I eat your dog, I will owe you....how much?' 'mmmm hiew ma' invite them over for the meal and ask them to bring the dog then act all surprised if they're not willing....'huh? what's wrong? your dog ate my ducks, now I'm gonna eat your dog, how else do I get my ducks back?'

Seriously, don't come back to the UK, you'll have a never-ending series of days/weeks/months like you've just had, only folks won't smile when they try to <deleted> you over unless they're tories of course

[jubby]

Apparently some dogs in my g/f's street were 'misbehaving' now there's one less than there used to be. I've been told it was 'aroi mak mak' not that she tasted it but she has it on good authority. When I was there, after a particularly noisy night, I suggested the idea of Tum Yum Ma.

Maybe you should discuss the price of a single duck, then the price of a dog whilst building a fire and getting a cooking pot ready 'so, after I eat your dog, I will owe you....how much?' 'mmmm hiew ma' invite them over for the meal and ask them to bring the dog then act all surprised if they're not willing....'huh? what's wrong? your dog ate my ducks, now I'm gonna eat your dog, how else do I get my ducks back?'

Seriously, don't come back to the UK, you'll have a never-ending series of days/weeks/months like you've just had, only folks won't smile when they try to <deleted> you over unless they're torie:

Thats how the Thais do it Biff. but I'm not in the Club. Chicken or Duck gets killed by a dog. owner of said duck or chicken gets very disgruntled and head off to see VF who gives them 200 baht. Nice and easy but if the Flang wants justice its not there Dog or you unleash a century of reprisals from the collective. No , Dogs got to go but discretely. It will go nicely where I've put the ducks before filling in the hole.

As for Tories , War Criminal and all round good egg Blair did a good Job of smiling a lot if I recall , before putting the country in a situation it has no hope in hel_l of getting out of . and I can thank the C%#t and Labour for putting up my private pension age from 50 to 55.

[bifftastic]

Apparently some dogs in my g/f's street were 'misbehaving' now there's one less than there used to be. I've been told it was 'aroi mak mak' not that she tasted it but she has it on good authority. When I was there, after a particularly noisy night, I suggested the idea of Tum Yum Ma.

Maybe you should discuss the price of a single duck, then the price of a dog whilst building a fire and getting a cooking pot ready 'so, after I eat your dog, I will owe you....how much?' 'mmmm hiew ma' invite them over for the meal and ask them to bring the dog then act all surprised if they're not willing....'huh? what's wrong? your dog ate my ducks, now I'm gonna eat your dog, how else do I get my ducks back?'

Seriously, don't come back to the UK, you'll have a never-ending series of days/weeks/months like you've just had, only folks won't smile when they try to <deleted> you over unless they're torie:

Thats how the Thais do it Biff. but I'm not in the Club. Chicken or Duck gets killed by a dog. owner of said duck or chicken gets very disgruntled and head off to see VF who gives them 200 baht. Nice and easy but if the Flang wants justice its not there Dog or you unleash a century of reprisals from the collective. No , Dogs got to go but discretely. It will go nicely where I've put the ducks before filling in the hole.

As for Tories , War Criminal and all round good egg Blair did a good Job of smiling a lot if I recall , before putting the country in a situation it has no hope in hel_l of getting out of . and I can thank the C%#t and Labour for putting up my private pension age from 50 to 55.

Ah yes, club membership would be needed. I can foresee a 'black ops' 'eyes on target, one dog down' scenario in your neighbourhood some time soon

I guess we'll agree to disagree as to who's broken Britain, hope your week gets better mate, I always enjoy your posts.

Cheers,

Biff

[jubby]

Quiet on the Forum I see so I thought I'd give you an update on my Week.

I suppose things have a habit of sorting themselves out. The Dogs got the remaining ducks. It won't come as a surprise that I didn't get the Dogs.

I found my slingshot but the rubber had perished so it was useless. Someone has left a nice small but heavy hammer in the garden. It seem to fly very well so I patrol the garden first thing in a morning. It'll do the trick I'm sure. Anyway, I had to fill the pit because of the smell.

I had a couple of beers but just got a headache unfortunately

I did take up an offer of a chat and a sip of whiskey from a local firendly BIB and his friends. An offer I usually decline.

The conversation was very topical, one of the Guys spoke reasonable english and well, I haven't laughed so much in ages.

A few minutes discusion on shirt colours led to a long discussion on the role of the BIB in Thailand today. His view, and not mine necessarily was that they are under enormous pressure from high to (four letter word) involving penetration of a member of the same species, usually but not totally necessary I suppose. It would explain why every BIB I've met seems to have a least 4 women on the go. The BIB reinforced this by using a darting tongue movement and gesturing with his fingers in my general direction. It was a bit disturbing so to get things straight I enquired wether he penetrated poo ying or poo Chai, and wether he occasionally used his other appendage or just his hands and tongue. Fits of laugher followed luckily and hopefully he was too pissed to remember the conversation.

Anyway, I'm feeling much better now. Its not the first time I've noticed a little tension around about a Full Moon.

The Familys picking up too, a little set back was his wife went fishing but in someone elses pond. The owners of the pond took posesion of her husbands motorcy and the fishing net. She had done a runner so to speak. Anyway, he has to pay 2000 baht and they'll return his motorbike. The motorbikes with the poo yai ban at the moment. There was no BIB involvement for obvious reasons.

Anyway, its reasuring to know that the family are blameing his temporary insanity on Spirits (pee) rather than the Lao Khow and his wife contantly dragging him into the gutter.

As for who's broken Britain Biff, I suppose we are all a little guilty of that but its easier to blame scargill or the Iron lady I suppose. I can't see much difference between the tories and new labour and there 'new Economy' to be honest though, there all at the feeding trough. I do know none of them will have the balls to do what needs to be done though so its going to be more of the same.

Anyway, over and out

[kandahar]

Jubby, let me know if you need help with the roof. I will come give you a hand. I have the tools available and a tall step-ladder. I can whack a few trees into smaller pieces also, if you need help with that. Sometimes, we just need someone to show up and lend a hand to get our perspective back. It sounds like you have lost yours, temporarily. You need to make sure it doesn't become permanent.

I can't help with the in-law thing. I can't help with your homeland government thing, either.

As for the ducks, which are sadly gone, there may be help for any future ducks that you find yourself purchasing. Electric fences are typically cheap and do wonders for dogs that don't know where they aren't welcome. My father was very fond of the typical livestock electric fence and it worked well on cattle and horses but not for swine. However, for neighbor's dogs, he used household current and he put those wire fences where they were needed and usually only ran them hot when he was home and could be watching when the dogs showed up. He would see the dogs coming, apply the electricity and enjoy the show. He even wired up a metal trash can that the neighbor's dog was fond of overturning during the night. He just set the thing on a rubber tire, which was setting on a large piece of wire mesh, attached the wiring and listened to the dog go nuts in the middle of the night. It actually took the dog, a large boxer, two nights to learn his lesson. I guess he thought the first time was a fluke. He never came back after the second time.

Except for the corner posts, which can be trees or buildings, the rest of the fence posts can be PVC pipe, set in concrete-filled coffee cans. That makes them very portable and easy to adjust the wire height up and down for different sizes of animals. I know they sell fence chargers here somewhere because I have seen them around. That type only needs one bare wire. If you go with household current, two strands of bare wire is best and you will need to be able to monitor the fence when it is on so that you don't hurt innocent people or animals. There is a good chance that you will kill the dogs if they can't get away from it when it hits them.

Now, whether or not you take my offer of help or my advice, please keep us posted here, and often. Like you said, the ol' forum is running pretty quiet these days.

And for the animal lovers out there that aren't going to like this, think about the ducks and forget about the dogs. The dogs have it coming and they stand a chance of being educated instead of killed. The ducks don't have that option.

kandahar

Edited May 1, 2010 by kandahar

[jubby]

Thanks for the offer Khandahar. I'm going to leave the roof a while until I know the winds have finished. Its only a problem on a Car port sort of extension anyway. I started on the clean up yesterday evening, albeit quite late. I must have got my 'perspective' back temporarily

A Coffee next week maybe of more help.

I had thought about electric fence but I'm sure the Villagers would be in uproar if I electocuted a Dog on purpose . Now if the Dog died because I was practicing my berserker skills with my new found throwing hammer as is the right of every swedish mafia Viking then it would have been an accident. I have decent walls anyway around the area and its only the two dogs that ever visit.

I won't be keeping Ducks in future, they've been massacred far too often, I suppose they are easy prey because they are too slow unlike my new racing chickens .

you know, You could help with the Inlaws. You could offer them employment. make lovely House keepers. Don't dismiss the Idea too quickly, think about the entertainment Value

[kandahar]

Thanks for the offer Khandahar. I'm going to leave the roof a while until I know the winds have finished. Its only a problem on a Car port sort of extension anyway. I started on the clean up yesterday evening, albeit quite late. I must have got my 'perspective' back temporarily

A Coffee next week maybe of more help.

I had thought about electric fence but I'm sure the Villagers would be in uproar if I electocuted a Dog on purpose . Now if the Dog died because I was practicing my berserker skills with my new found throwing hammer as is the right of every swedish mafia Viking then it would have been an accident. I have decent walls anyway around the area and its only the two dogs that ever visit.

I won't be keeping Ducks in future, they've been massacred far too often, I suppose they are easy prey because they are too slow unlike my new racing chickens .

you know, You could help with the Inlaws. You could offer them employment. make lovely House keepers. Don't dismiss the Idea too quickly, think about the entertainment Value

I'm happy to hear that your perspective is returning.

You are most generous in your offer of in-laws. Alas, I cannot accept. Please note that this is not a hasty decision. I have considered your offer for an extended amount of time, weighing the cons and the cons. Even after considering that two negatives CAN make a positive, the whole thing seems unworkable in my situation. I just don't have your experience with such matters. I'm afraid that, in the end, the in-laws would long for the fun and excitement available to them at your home. It is pretty much all work and no fun around me.

You know, I have to comment on this math thing that you have presented here. I have mentioned before that I am no math whiz but certain errors do catch my attention. You say that there are ONLY two dogs that cause a problem there. It would seem that TWO is not a significant number in your situation. However, when I use my trusty desk-top calculator, it shows that even ONE dog can be a problem. Knowing that the calculator is old and that the batteries may not be up to snuff, I used my wife's new, scientific calculator and ran the numbers again. Same answer. But, knowing that her new, scientific calculator was made in China, and therefore, may be of questionable quality, I went in search of an online calculator that is specially designed to calculate the specific value of bad dogs compared to good ducks. It shows the value of two bad dogs to be equal to the value of one bad dog. I upped the numbers of bad dogs, keeping the number of good ducks at one, and find that no matter how great the number of bad dogs I entered, (1256, for example), the value of the bad dogs still comes out to zero. ( Just an anecdotal mention here- I later added worthless brother-in-laws into the calculation and the value of the bad dogs does actually start to rise.) So, with all of that in mind, explain to me how you come to the conclusion that ONLY TWO DOGS aren't a great enough number to get excited about.

We won't even get into the comment about having decent walls around the place and the dogs still come. I think maybe that one is best left for a face to face debate over that cup of coffee that you mentioned.

Well, as I said, it is all work and no fun around here. I have a list a mile long and it only gets longer as I sit here and type. The first thing on today's list is to do nothing at all. I had better get started or I won't even be done with that by bedtime and I'll be facing that same task tomorrow.

[jubby]

I'll leave the math or maths to you if you don't mind

Nice to hear you considered my offer. You could always take them on a trial basis. return them if not completely satisfied. The two females would make a nice addition to an ornamental Garden pond, The two males will ocasionally chop wood and tidy the garden removing harmful pests etc.

Theres little breeding potential i"m afraid. But I could get them nutured if it concerns you at all

Just throw them some scraps and hose them down once a week. You know it makes sense.

[kandahar]

I'll leave the math or maths to you if you don't mind

Nice to hear you considered my offer. You could always take them on a trial basis. return them if not completely satisfied. The two females would make a nice addition to an ornamental Garden pond, The two males will ocasionally chop wood and tidy the garden removing harmful pests etc.

Theres little breeding potential i"m afraid. But I could get them nutured if it concerns you at all

Just throw them some scraps and hose them down once a week. You know it makes sense.

Man, I don't have a pond. Too bad about that. No wood to chop, either. Strike two. And you say they remove garden pests, but in the past, you have referred to THEM as the pests so that doesn't make sense to my tired, old brain. Strike three.

Have you considered e-Bay?

Edited May 2, 2010 by kandahar

[jubby]

I'll leave the math or maths to you if you don't mind

Nice to hear you considered my offer. You could always take them on a trial basis. return them if not completely satisfied. The two females would make a nice addition to an ornamental Garden pond, The two males will ocasionally chop wood and tidy the garden removing harmful pests etc.

Theres little breeding potential i"m afraid. But I could get them nutured if it concerns you at all

Just throw them some scraps and hose them down once a week. You know it makes sense.

Man, I don't have a pond. Too bad about that. No wood to chop, either. Strike two. And you say they remove garden pests, but in the past, you have referred to THEM as the pests so that doesn't make sense to my tired, old brain. Strike three.

Have you considered e-Bay?

Shipping would be a problem. They all won't fit in a standard Dog crate. Anyway, if your really , really Sure you don't want them I'll offer them to the rest of the expat community. Your loss mate ......... ......

Ahh. just had a thought ! They could dig you a pond . be a nice Job too

[sarahsbloke]

As for Tories , War Criminal and all round good egg Blair did a good Job of smiling a lot if I recall , before putting the country in a situation it has no hope in hel_l of getting out of . and I can thank the C%#t and Labour for putting up my private pension age from 50 to 55.

We remember Mr. Smile on a Stick, those were the good old days.

Still, chin up old chap, could be worse, wife could have thrown you out and kept the house and car.

[jubby]

As for Tories , War Criminal and all round good egg Blair did a good Job of smiling a lot if I recall , before putting the country in a situation it has no hope in hel_l of getting out of . and I can thank the C%#t and Labour for putting up my private pension age from 50 to 55.

We remember Mr. Smile on a Stick, those were the good old days.

Still, chin up old chap, could be worse, wife could have thrown you out and kept the house and car.

House and Car(s)

[kandahar]

jubby, it is pretty quiet on here.

How are the in-laws?

[bifftastic]

maybe they've 'rubbed him up the wrong way' once to often and he's finally snapped

[kandahar]

maybe they've 'rubbed him up the wrong way' once to often and he's finally snapped

Or the right way and he's finally 'sapped".

[bifftastic]

maybe they've 'rubbed him up the wrong way' once to often and he's finally snapped

Or the right way and he's finally 'sapped".

[jubby]

Well Guys. I nearly let this Thread lapse. been away for a few days .

things didn't improve.

The Computer seems OK, I suppose. Just having a hard time recovery the data that I had put on the backup disk, which the guy decided to format for no good reason.

The Motorbike, well would you believe I took it back to the shop 300 kms later with another dodgy sound. asked them to investigate and pleae, please phone me before doing anything. No phone call obviously. Its fixed, went to pick it up and enquire as to the fault this time. they gave me a plastic bag with something that closely resembled a Piston head. <deleted> ! ... you changed this a month and 300 kms ago. No oil . thing seized. Did you put oil in it ?. Oh yes ofcourse, you need to change the Oil every 3 months. You serviced it a month ago. Oh, you've been driving it too hard, up hills and such. Oh right oh. heres another thousand baht. I'd better take a litre of that Oil then just incase the Oil disapears again. that'll be 120 baht. thanks. The Guy never once looked me in the eye. His eyes were all over the place.

Dogs got the last of the Ducks and my last Goose. I saw one of the dogs in the garden later and managed to trace there owners(lose term) . I'll have a chat with them tonight but I don't hold much hope of it being fruitful.

Brother-out-laws back at work, he's sort of doing his own thing , he'll never be the same. I just point him in the general direction and he gets on with it, so its not all bad I suppose.

Missus keeps having a go too, for good reason I might add.

Anyway, I'm seeking Job opportunites in the UK for a couple of months. Work can be very grounding ;-)

Hows the election Biff. I saw a couple of black range Rovers rushing into what looked like the grounds of Buck House on thai news yesterday, but it was only on for a couple of seconds. Royalty or MP's ? Tories and Liberals getting together puts it all into perspective, Powers more important than principle. Anyway, biff. get it sorted before you come over here. The worlds waiting on this. They look up to our fine upstanding members of parliament .

[villagefarang]

I surely can't compete with your colorful lifestyle. Things continue to idle along at a mind deadening normal here in the field. I am trying to stir things up a little, however. I've got the Phantom for sale in the classifieds and if it ever gets sold, I'm heading off to Chiang Mai to get me a Ninja. To tell the truth the wife is yet to be convinced but I think I'm getting there.

I've got a friend with a couple of new 650's and he got me hooked on a ride the other day. Almost forgot, I swear that Momo and King were nowhere near your ducks.

Edited May 11, 2010 by villagefarang

[jubby]

I surely can't compete with your colorful lifestyle. Things continue to idle along at a mind deadening normal here in the field. I am trying to stir things up a little, however. I've got the Phantom for sale in the classifieds and if it ever gets sold, I'm heading off to Chiang Mai to get me a Ninja. To tell the truth the wife is yet to be convinced but I think I'm getting there.

I've got a friend with a couple of new 650's and he got me hooked on a ride the other day. Almost forgot, I swear that Momo and King were nowhere near your ducks.

[skybluestu]

Good choice on the bike upgrade VF, the roads and weather up here in North Thailand are perfect for motorbike touring, just make sure your not the next farang patient that Kandahar is visiting!

Which Ninja are you going for, 250cc or 650cc, naked or fairing? If funds allow after the arrival of my baby girl and the rainy season is out of the way I'll also be off to CM to upgrade but probably only to a D Tracker unless the Versys is released in the next few months.