^But even you were brow beaten into marriage at one time, weren't you Ian? But really, 6 months, that would be mentally painful for her too. Seems a bit silly unlesss she is frigid anyway, in which case it is your own fault for marrying her in the first place.

Come on, there must be a better way out of the situation.

They change, Gary. They actually DO change. Haven't you heard the old saying that women marry men and expect to change them, but the men don't change. And, men marry women expecting that they will never change... and the women ALWAYS change. The saying is true. Just expect it and learn to live with it. I know lots of sexless marriages.

Borrow from your best mate. Borrow a nice set of earings of his wife's.

Give them to wifey and enjoy your new toy and her loving gratitude.

Then, in a month's time, or when you have enough money again, buy a replacement set of earings for your mate to secretly slip back inside his wife's jewelry box.

Devious bastard, aren't you, Harcourt.

And yes, that WAS a rhetorical question.

Good idea though. :jap:

it sounds like its a good time to go fishing, i like fishing but i dont like putting worms on the hook so i usually opt for some other form of bait or a lure.

i like taking the boat out but i dont like getting my feet wet in the cold freezing winters water.

i like revving the engine but i dont like pulling the chord to get the engine started.

at the end of the day, when I make it back to shore, i hate getting into the car and putting my tooshy onto the hot seat of the car to back the car down the boat ramp.

theres nothing like going home but i hate winding the winch to pull the boat up on the trailer and tying it down and all of that.

sometimes its just easier to fish all night and worry about the difficult stuff tommorrow, but i hate to do that because thugs normally hang out in the car park at night and damage the car.

what to do, what to do?

^Take your wife fishing with you so she can do all the stuff you hate. Then tell her that you haven't bought anything for the anniversay. If she then gets all uppity push her our of the boat.

^Take your wife fishing with you so she can do all the stuff you hate. Then tell her that you haven't bought anything for the anniversay. If she then gets all uppity push her our of the boat.

Now this sounds like a plan.

However you should always try to slide a hook in behind her neck line in case you want to reel her back in when it is time for someone to pull the boat out of the water, carry it ashore and get the tea on...........

I got my love of fishing from my parents. They took me out on the ocean in a boat and let me swim back to shore. The only difficult part was getting out of the sack they tied around me. That is where I got my love of knives. I've never been without one since.

So, no need to pinch one from the 7/11?

^

So, no need to pinch one from the 7/11?

7-11 have knives? I thought they only had those plastic things for cutting a hotdog.

So, no need to pinch one from the 7/11?

7-11 have knives? I thought they only had those plastic things for cutting a hotdog.

Ignore my post, Ian.

It was a very bad taste attempt at humour. Followers of Phuket news clippings would understand why.

Feel free to red me, my rep has just gone up to excellent and it feels wrong.

Made me chuckle.

Ok ND...here ya go.....

Wanking secrets;

1. Sit on your hand for 5 minutes beforehand so that it goes numb. It feels like it's someone else.

2. Use your left hand every now and then. The odd rythm makes it feel like someone else.

3. Sit on your left hand and then use your left hand....it REALLY feels like someone else.

I'm a bit suss about the sitting on the hand bit......do you always extend your middle finger & sit whilst nud_e as you suggested in your PM to me? Perhaps I should of responded via PM and not shared your secret with everyone???

I really didnt want to know about wanking, I was wondering about how many shakes qualifies as a wank?

ND, now you have let the cat out of the bag that you and I share private and intimate PMs about anal enjoyment! I'm a bit disapointed. Next you'll tell everyone about how you explained to me how to go about autofelatio.

You promised you wouldnt tell the boys :annoyed: especially after you admitted spiking my drink and all of that stuff

[some of the best "lovers" I've ever known were single men ......

Ian! I never knew.

Its alright Ian, you can come out to us, ur buddies and this goes no further. Anyway, you arnt considered gay until you push back anyway

Agreed. This is the mantra I've always lived by................

You see Ian, theres absolutely no way that both Suiging and I could both be wrong.

ps: do you swallow on first dates, does your dad own a brewry, can i feel ur nuts or will you show them to me? woops there i go again with one of the vile and crass songs

This place has changed....

This place has changed....

Yah, I never did realize those guys were gay. Don't go showing them your carrot, Buggsy.

This place has changed....

Yah, I never did realize those guys were gay. Don't go showing them your carrot, Buggsy.

OI I'm not gay, just mildly amused.

This place has changed....

Yah, I never did realize those guys were gay. Don't go showing them your carrot, Buggsy.

OI I'm not gay, just mildly amused.

No, he didnt push back. Tis okay suiging, we're all family ere

Amen to that..........

I would just like to make it known that unlike Neverdie et al, I never have and never will partake in bum fun.

I would just like to make it known that unlike Neverdie et al, I never have and never will partake in bum fun.

Said the straight guy, loud enough so every one will listen. The phrase " you protesteph too much " is clearly not applicable.

I would just like to make it known that unlike Neverdie et al, I never have and never will partake in bum fun.

Said the straight guy, loud enough so every one will listen. The phrase " you protesteph too much " is clearly not applicable.

Agreed Suiging, this guy is sus.

theres got to be a reason they call him MOONraper

Agreed Suiging, this guy is sus.

theres got to be a reason they call him MOONraper

Indeed.

The term "Moon" is often synonymous with showing one's buttocks

^I am well aware of this

not that ive ever mooned anyone

Moderators, could you move this thread to the gay forum. It's gone way off topic.

That's rich from someone often to as " Handbags ".

Freudian slip there with "raper" instead of "raker"?

Moderators, could you move this thread to the gay forum. It's gone way off topic.

Now now old croc, theres no point spitting sour grapes in all the threads where people are enjoying themselves. Have you given much thought to creating your own forum, where like minded grouches can biatch about little symbols in other forums :crazy:

and to think I copped flack when I whinged about someone reducing my star rating.

Freudian slip there with "raper" instead of "raker"?

yes, i meant rapper, not raper......or was it raker?

Moderators, could you move this thread to the gay forum. It's gone way off topic.

Now now old croc, theres no point spitting sour grapes in all the threads where people are enjoying themselves. Have you given much thought to creating your own forum, where like minded grouches can biatch about little symbols in other forums :crazy:

and to think I copped flack when I whinged about someone reducing my star rating.

I'm not surprised my humour went straight over your head, as most of your jokes are at primary school level.

If you are going to keep this up I'm quite happy to respond.

Moderators, could you move this thread to the gay forum. It's gone way off topic.

Now now old croc, theres no point spitting sour grapes in all the threads where people are enjoying themselves. Have you given much thought to creating your own forum, where like minded grouches can biatch about little symbols in other forums :crazy:

and to think I copped flack when I whinged about someone reducing my star rating.

I'm not surprised my humour went straight over your head, as most of your jokes are at primary school level.

If you are going to keep this up I'm quite happy to respond.

O.C, just ignore the fred.

Saying nowt is best.

If you are going to keep this up I'm quite happy to respond.

No doubt you are.

Saying nowt is best.

Pity he didnt adopt that strategy on the greenies thread.