I stabbed a condom because I'm sexy as hel_l

i slept with a jew (yes) because im a pimp and your jealous.

I ate out a cat because I had to.

I cuddled with....... hmmmmmmmmmmm

<removed>

Jan, 11, pink.

PMPLMAO

^

I wasn't born. I was created. It happened so long ago there were such things as days and months. It makes it difficult getting a passport.

Doesn't matter what day you where born in October. Us Ocotbian's have problems.

I killed a pornstar cos I'm as sexy as hell

Today,

I am still stabbing condoms

But, the little people told me to.

Today,

I am still stabbing condoms

But, the little people told me to.

Do you have an over-whelming urge to get pregnant?

I do

Today,

I am still stabbing condoms

But, the little people told me to.

Do you have an over-whelming urge to get pregnant?

I'm too old for that malarky.

I ran naked with a condom because I'm sexy as hel_l

Where WAS the condom?

"I cuddled with your Mom, because I love marijuana".

I picked my nose with a tennis racket because the telephone booth was empty

Well you wouldn't do so if the telephone booth was full now would you? Seems perfectly logical to me.

Full of what ?

Tuna sandwiches, of course!

With ONION dam_n your eyes man.........ONION!!!!

"I banged a whore because i smoke crack"???

Well, this is quite beyond my wildest dreams

I guess if i posted a topic with this title i would be banned without mercy, but please mods, be fair, it's not my fault if i am born on 13th June and i am wearing an orange t-shirt.

Orange shirt big enough for an elephant eh...........Likely story.

A guy walked into a bar with an orange for a head. The bartender asked him how come he had an orange for a head. His story was that he found a magic latern, and the genie gave him 3 wishes. He wished first for all the money he could ever need, and bang, he had a fortune. Secondly, he wished for a harem of young, beautiful women, and there they were. When he asked for his 3rd wish, and this is were he thinks he went wrong, he wished for an orange for a head.

I smoked with a prostitute because I have Huge B008s

I smoked with a prostitute because I have Huge B008s

True story, I'll bet. And probably not the most shocking, either.

I cuddled with a toothbrush cause I'm beautiful !

Methinks there are some mistakes as beautiful I ain't.

Will today i will be mostly smoking with my hommie the orange because im apparently sexy as hel_l. Its all good.