I kind of thought that in this day and age, most people are pretty open to mix race/culture relationships. Maybe ive had my eyes closed..?

I use another forum (not thailand related). A recent topic came up asking what members views on mix race/culture relationships are. Most were pretty open minded about it. However, one member, who ive known for about 5 years now, kind of shocked me when he came out with:

totally against it!

different culture / race always collide at some point.

and one person will have to adapt to the other.. which is bad.

because as most people, they don't want to adapt.

they are used to their thing for an entire lifetime, you can't just throw that away.

it also results in weird situation for the kids..

for example, I know a guy called Mohamed, he was born in Spain, but his parents are Turkish, and he now lives in Belgium.

that's 3 different cultures, he doesnt know where to turn when they ask him something. he has no culture what so ever, cause he knows few about any of them.

other then that.. maybe I'm just a bit of a racist.

i like white people more then i love coloured people..

and i would NEVER date ( sorry for the expression.. ) black/brown people.

i just don't find em pretty in any way.. and they always have this.. sweet weeping smell on them, if they get on the tram and come sit next to me i have to move, or i'll throw up.

i simply can't stand them!

if i see a white person kissing a black person.. i feel a deep anger and hate running trough my veins.

don't ask me why, i don't know.. i always felt that way about them.

so for me, interracial or different culture relationships are a total taboo!

..So got me thinking. What do you say or do (particularly with regards to friends/family members) who have viewpoints like this? Do you walk away? Break contact? Try to discuss it?

Im still a bit in shock that he has a viewpoint like this to be honest.

The kids often come out better looking.

The kids often come out better looking.

Yep. Mixed blood-line takes handsome fancy over a purer one, as a rule.

They tend to be smarter as well. It's the mixing of the genes.

As an Oxford level biology student.... I look at these people as fools. We are all a mashup of genes.

nature vs nurture.

the debate will never end.... until we are all honey coloured....

They tend to be smarter as well. It's the mixing of the genes.

As the darker genes tend to dominated. Connected.

I like women of all different ethic groups. I don’t like men from any ethnic group. That’s why I had such a hard time when I was in my gay period. But if I did like men they would be Thai. Because if you ever watched Japanese men dance , well you know the answer there and Europeans are odorous.

I find in Thailand I can almost completely isolate myself from interacting with men with not much trouble. Since I have been in the hospitality business most of my life it was possible for me to hire almost exclusively female workers and since it is not illegal to discriminate against men I never got in trouble, for the heavy lifting I hired lady boys.

They tend to be smarter as well. It's the mixing of the genes.

Sea sponges also share 70% of human genes.

I would say it depends on the rest of what he has to offer, eek. No one is 100% "good" or 100% "bad." I have an old-time friend in particular who certainly has his blemishes (as I have mine), some of which can be hard to take at times. But amongst all of his qualities his blemishes don't at all overshadow so much good that he has to offer. Sometimes it's not too difficult to take the chaff and grain together.

Then again it also depends on your tolerance level for what you allow yourself to accept within another. Perhaps you will never be able to see him the same again, this "flaw" coming to the forefront at all times and obscuring all else. (My ex-wife was great at that! )

No need to broach the subject directly, IMHO, especially in a direct attempt to "correct" him or set him straight. Once people have convinced themselves of their "truth," and especially if that "truth" is deeply emotional, I'd seriously think twice before engaging them on that subject. And if I did it would be in an entirely light-hearted manner, not attempting in any way to fault him for what he thinks. After all, ultimately we are not our ideas.

Just my opinion.

As the product of a mixed race marriage, I have to agree 100% with Koheesti, Zaa, and Moonrakers.

To the OP.....As I was reading the quote, my first reaction to. "....i just don't find em pretty in any way..." was "That's ok, beauty is in the eye of the beholder", but as I read on I was shocked at his reporting that he would throw up if he sat next to a black or brown person!

I think he is a racist......but, to be fair, upon further reflection, if he is physically sick at the smell of other races, I suppose he can't help himself.

But I do wonder how much of his physical reaction comes from his upbringing. If you're taught that blacks are smelly, you could actually believe it to the point of your own reality finding them smelly

Also, to be fair, I agree to a point about the need for cultural give and take between the partners and the possibility of collision. Any relationship requires some concessions from both sides, and if you add cultural concessions, it just puts extra strain on the relationship.

Does love conquer all? In terms of mixed race, I think it can.

I am fully into and supportive of mixed race relationships when it is all about love...... However, I think that a mixed race relationship that has come about because one partner finds the other partner's culture to be subserviant and is thus just taking advantage, or one partner finds the other partners culture to be wealthier and is thus just taking advantage, and therefore the relationship has nothing to do with love is an entirely different propostion and not what this thread is about.

They tend to be smarter as well. It's the mixing of the genes.

Sea sponges also share 70% of human genes.

I believe a carrot has almost 90% similar characteristics to a Human, tell me Mark are you a redhead?

.So got me thinking. What do you say or do (particularly with regards to friends/family members) who have viewpoints like this? Do you walk away? Break contact? Try to discuss it?

I was walking my dogs one time and met up with a lady I had met a few times previously walking her dogs, she was better known to my step dad.

For some reason she started talking about how wrong mixed marriages are, noticed my reticence in responding and slowly without prompt from me started to retract her previous stance.

How she was OK with it, it was her daughters views. With my non-commital viewpoint she was getting increasingly agitated and so I told her.

I laughed out loud when she put in a quick step and I honestly haven't seen her since

On an other occasion, in my previous employment, there was a growing BNP support, I asked them their reasons and they came out with the usual rhetoric of " houses being taken, too much immigration, jobs being lost..etc"

I responded, what about my wife then, " oh that's OK she is married to you and we like her "

Selective discrimination, you just can't put up a proper response that will be listened to against ingrained thought processes,

They tend to be smarter as well. It's the mixing of the genes.

Sea sponges also share 70% of human genes.

I believe a carrot has almost 90% similar characteristics to a Human, tell me Mark are you a redhead?

Brown hair, red beard, brown eyes. Married a real blond with blue eyes, our children have brown hair and brown eyes. My wife did not smell like blonds normally smell nor did she have that pungent odor of redheads. My hair turns blond in the sun when lemon juice is applied.

Carrots don't have human genes like sea sponges. Sea sponges may be used in the future for stem cell transplants.

As the product of a mixed race marriage, I have to agree 100% with Koheesti, Zaa, and Moonrakers.

To the OP.....As I was reading the quote, my first reaction to. "....i just don't find em pretty in any way..." was "That's ok, beauty is in the eye of the beholder", but as I read on I was shocked at his reporting that he would throw up if he sat next to a black or brown person!

I think he is a racist......but, to be fair, upon further reflection, if he is physically sick at the smell of other races, I suppose he can't help himself.

But I do wonder how much of his physical reaction comes from his upbringing. If you're taught that blacks are smelly, you could actually believe it to the point of your own reality finding them smelly

Also, to be fair, I agree to a point about the need for cultural give and take between the partners and the possibility of collision. Any relationship requires some concessions from both sides, and if you add cultural concessions, it just puts extra strain on the relationship.

Does love conquer all? In terms of mixed race, I think it can.

I am fully into and supportive of mixed race relationships when it is all about love...... However, I think that a mixed race relationship that has come about because one partner finds the other partner's culture to be subserviant and is thus just taking advantage, or one partner finds the other partners culture to be wealthier and is thus just taking advantage, and therefore the relationship has nothing to do with love is an entirely different propostion and not what this thread is about.

I agree with you till we get to the point about love. I would assert that mixed marriages are the hope of the future as they tend to destroy myths about racial superiority or inferiority.

I think mixed marriages as practiced in China and by Chinese in other countries and the Mongol empire to cement business, ethnic and political ties are very appropriate and longer lasting than a concept so flighty as love.

The mummified bodies of a plainly ancient caucasian people found in China, were a " State Secret" for years. Rather touchy about race the Chinese.

I would say it depends on the rest of what he has to offer, eek. No one is 100% "good" or 100% "bad." I have an old-time friend in particular who certainly has his blemishes (as I have mine), some of which can be hard to take at times. But amongst all of his qualities his blemishes don't at all overshadow so much good that he has to offer. Sometimes it's not too difficult to take the chaff and grain together.

Then again it also depends on your tolerance level for what you allow yourself to accept within another. Perhaps you will never be able to see him the same again, this "flaw" coming to the forefront at all times and obscuring all else. (My ex-wife was great at that! )

No need to broach the subject directly, IMHO, especially in a direct attempt to "correct" him or set him straight. Once people have convinced themselves of their "truth," and especially if that "truth" is deeply emotional, I'd seriously think twice before engaging them on that subject. And if I did it would be in an entirely light-hearted manner, not attempting in any way to fault him for what he thinks. After all, ultimately we are not our ideas.

Just my opinion.

Its a hard one..but im reviewing it. Im not a "string em up" kind of person. I do think however that it has permanently changed my view of him...cant help that really. I feel more sad than angry that a person would think that way.

I have a mixed race marriage.

If I can identify with my feminine side, perhaps I can add some more comments to this thread. :jap:

I have a mixed race marriage.

If I can identify with my feminine side, perhaps I can add some more comments to this thread. :jap:

As I said previously..."However, I think that a mixed race relationship that has come about because one partner finds the other partner's culture to be subserviant and is thus just taking advantage, or one partner finds the other partners culture to be wealthier and is thus just taking advantage, and therefore the relationship has nothing to do with love is an entirely different propostion and not what this thread is about...."

I would say it depends on the rest of what he has to offer, eek. No one is 100% "good" or 100% "bad." I have an old-time friend in particular who certainly has his blemishes (as I have mine), some of which can be hard to take at times. But amongst all of his qualities his blemishes don't at all overshadow so much good that he has to offer. Sometimes it's not too difficult to take the chaff and grain together.

Then again it also depends on your tolerance level for what you allow yourself to accept within another. Perhaps you will never be able to see him the same again, this "flaw" coming to the forefront at all times and obscuring all else. (My ex-wife was great at that! )

No need to broach the subject directly, IMHO, especially in a direct attempt to "correct" him or set him straight. Once people have convinced themselves of their "truth," and especially if that "truth" is deeply emotional, I'd seriously think twice before engaging them on that subject. And if I did it would be in an entirely light-hearted manner, not attempting in any way to fault him for what he thinks. After all, ultimately we are not our ideas.

Just my opinion.

Its a hard one..but im reviewing it. Im not a "string em up" kind of person. I do think however that it has permanently changed my view of him...cant help that really. I feel more sad than angry that a person would think that way.

I know what you mean. I don't think you can change him over the internet...he has an ingrained bias....whether that is taught (and therefore able to be untaught) or not, I think it is deep.

I have a mixed race marriage.

If I can identify with my feminine side, perhaps I can add some more comments to this thread. :jap:

As I said previously..."However, I think that a mixed race relationship that has come about because one partner finds the other partner's culture to be subserviant and is thus just taking advantage, or one partner finds the other partners culture to be wealthier and is thus just taking advantage, and therefore the relationship has nothing to do with love is an entirely different propostion and not what this thread is about...."

So now you are claiming I married my wife so she would be subservient and she married me for what little money I have. You are further intimating there is no love in my marriage.

In most forums, you would be banned for statements such as these. Let's see how this one plays out.

The mummified bodies of a plainly ancient caucasian people found in China, were a " State Secret" for years. Rather touchy about race the Chinese.

American Indians are also rather touchy. Somewhere in North America they found a skeleton. Upoon examination it turned out to be that of a European and was thousands of years old. The local Indian leaders found out about it and through the courts forced the University involved to return the remains to them because they insisted it was grave robbing or something of the sort. Even though the remains had been proven to be European, and not Indian, that didn't matter. The court sided with the Indians.

I have a mixed race marriage.

If I can identify with my feminine side, perhaps I can add some more comments to this thread. :jap:

As I said previously..."However, I think that a mixed race relationship that has come about because one partner finds the other partner's culture to be subserviant and is thus just taking advantage, or one partner finds the other partners culture to be wealthier and is thus just taking advantage, and therefore the relationship has nothing to do with love is an entirely different propostion and not what this thread is about...."

So now you are claiming I married my wife so she would be subservient and she married me for what little money I have. You are further intimating there is no love in my marriage.

In most forums, you would be banned for statements such as these. Let's see how this one plays out.

I don't make that claim...where did I claim that?

I would only be "further intimating" if the first part were true. Is it?

What "statement" did I make that warrants banning in most forums?

Eek, I read your OP again and realized I had not done a good job of answering your question. Forgive me and let me try again.

My second wife and mother of two of my daughters grew up in Missouri, Texas and Arkansas. She was a good woman, daughter of share croppers. Two of her brothers had grown up to become multimillionaires. One of her brothers was severely dyslexic and even with the handicap of not being able to read or write accumulated a substantial fortune. Her sister was married to a dirt poor blacksmith but eventually gained some fame as a writer of children’s books. Their father was 60 years of age when he married an 18 year old woman and they went on to have 8 children who spent their childhood chopping cotton.

My wife was a bigot. I didn’t really realize how deeply ingrained the bigotry was until she caught my 14 year old daughter on the couch after school with a 16 year old black boy. Had I not arrived on the scene after a panicked call from my daughter I think my wife might have killed the kid.

She did a good job raising our two girls who both graduated college and seem like fairly well adjusted young women.

I taught at an all black college in Arkansas. This was around the time when our marriage started breaking up. I am sure my wife was conflicted between the PC of current day and her backwoods upbringing.

However, I don’t remember ever having heated debates about racism in our home. More like, I drank too much beer and worked too many hours.

Race was a non issue. In all of my restaurants I always had at least 13% of my workforce black women. I also always had great biscuits. I guess it is racist to say but black women from the South of the US make heavenly baking powder biscuits with sausage gravy.

While I was married I had a brief affair with a VP of the Coke company who was a black lady. It is a good thing my wife never found out about it. Cause she was upset enough about my affairs with white women.

All in all of the issues that effect a relationship between people her bigotry was way down on the list of things I got upset about.

Perhaps this is why I seem to fit in Thailand as Thais make my wife’s bigotry seem normal.

Eek how do you coexist with Thais who are racist, sexist and ageist and probably a couple more ist’s that I haven’t thought about?

Its a hard one..but im reviewing it. Im not a "string em up" kind of person. I do think however that it has permanently changed my view of him...cant help that really. I feel more sad than angry that a person would think that way.

It's a question of love, in my humble opinion. We have all been taught to love conditionally. Please us, make us happy, and we will give our love. Displease us, sadden us, and not only will we withhold our love, we will hate and condemn and scorn to boot.

It may sound like an absurdity but somehow I think we were meant to love. I don't think I would get many arguments if I said we are all looking for love. Yet if we aren't willing to give love would it seem confounding that we then have trouble receiving it? Does there appear to be a strong connection there?

For myself I've learned long ago that I can't change what others choose for themselves. That it's not my job to do so, nor is it why I am here. So the question then becomes one of how do I allow others to choose for themselves, just as I choose for myself, without getting bent out of shape each and every time I come up against that which I wouldn't choose for myself?

Be light about it, eek.

The mummified bodies of a plainly ancient caucasian people found in China, were a " State Secret" for years. Rather touchy about race the Chinese.

American Indians are also rather touchy. Somewhere in North America they found a skeleton. Upoon examination it turned out to be that of a European and was thousands of years old. The local Indian leaders found out about it and through the courts forced the University involved to return the remains to them because they insisted it was grave robbing or something of the sort. Even though the remains had been proven to be European, and not Indian, that didn't matter. The court sided with the Indians.

Yes, "Kennewick Man".

The mummified bodies of a plainly ancient caucasian people found in China, were a " State Secret" for years. Rather touchy about race the Chinese.

American Indians are also rather touchy. Somewhere in North America they found a skeleton. Upoon examination it turned out to be that of a European and was thousands of years old. The local Indian leaders found out about it and through the courts forced the University involved to return the remains to them because they insisted it was grave robbing or something of the sort. Even though the remains had been proven to be European, and not Indian, that didn't matter. The court sided with the Indians.

Yes, "Kennewick Man".

Yep, that's him. For anyone who is curious...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kennewick_Man

I meet so few people in real life who feel this way, that I would just lump them in with loony Holocaust deniers/ marginalizers or people who think that USA attacked itself on 9/11 - to be avoided.

However, I did meet a fellow at the health club a few weeks ago that started saying such things without being asked his opinion. There were a bunch of Arab children using the the swimming pool and he started screaming out loud about all the 'n_____s". We hushed him up, but I now avoid conversation with him as much as possible.

There is a black man that everyone is friendly with there - including this racist - so I asked him why does he spend a lot of time talking to him if he feels this way and he replied: "Him, he's OK". Who knows what makes such deluded people tick?

I meet so few people in real life who feel this way, that I would just lump them in with loony Holocaust deniers/ marginalizers or people who think that USA attacked itself on 9/11 - to be avoided.

However, I did meet a fellow at the health club a few weeks ago that started saying such things without being asked his opinion. There were a bunch of Arab children using the the swimming pool and he started screaming out loud about all the 'n_____s". We hushed him up, but I now avoid conversation with him as much as possible.

There is a black man that everyone is friendly with there - including this racist - so I asked him why does he spend a lot of time talking to him if he feels this way and he replied: "Him, he's OK". Who knows what makes such deluded people tick?

It's a manufactured political affliction, less a social one {or lack of social extensions}. It's a learned item......conditioned. Without rhyme nor reason.

It's a learned item......conditioned. Without rhyme nor reason.

Decades ago back when I was a teenager I had this one redneck friend. One day when he used the N-word I asked him why since he has so many black friends. He seemed puzzled and said something like, "I dunno". It's hard to believe, but maybe there are people out there who use racial slurs because that's what they heard growing up even though they aren't necessarily racist. At least not to the degree of their parents or grandparents. So they aren't saying it out of hatred, just upbringing.

.So got me thinking. What do you say or do (particularly with regards to friends/family members) who have viewpoints like this? Do you walk away? Break contact? Try to discuss it?............

Its a hard one..but im reviewing it. Im not a "string em up" kind of person. I do think however that it has permanently changed my view of him...cant help that really. I feel more sad than angry that a person would think that way.

Your right eek it is a hard one. Especially since you thought you knew him...well actually you now know him even more completely

But that aside as to your question, Yes if it was family discuss for sure & of course hopefully that would have been at a very young age.

As for others ...Personally I would not say anything unless asked my feelings on it..but would no longer be inclined to closely associate.

Sometimes folks are like light bulbs....Not that one is better than another but to try & squeeze 100 watts into a 75 watt bulb could cause a problem.

If they ask your thoughts on it then possibly they can handle the wattage