When securing produce in the kitchen, I like to use an unnecessarily large elastic band.

This post has been edited by Ping, because he can't put a single sentence together without making a typo.

When producing elastic in the kitchen, I like to use an an unnecessarily secure band.

I try to avoid lactose intolerant cows.

If you have any form of band in your kitchen it becomes crowded and far too noisy.

Edited to add: Unless of course you're having Tacos, when a Mariachi Band is always welcome.

I Iike to cIean my bathroom fIoor reguIarIy to prevent it being mucky. It gets mucky because when i cIean it, i forget ive just cIeaned it, and go in when the fIoor is stiII damp, depositing any trace of dirt on my feet promptIy back onto my bathroom fIoor. Its a cycIe. Ive Iearned to accept it with grace.

I Iike to cIean my bathroom fIoor reguIarIy to prevent it being mucky. It gets mucky because when i cIean it, i forget ive just cIeaned it, and go in when the fIoor is stiII damp, depositing any trace of dirt on my feet promptIy back onto my bathroom fIoor. Its a cycIe. Ive Iearned to accept it with grace.

Next time ask Grace to clean the bathroom floor as I think she is partly responsible.

Always sit on the toilet when farting.

You never know if it's only air.

I've found that Kangaroo repellent is far more effective in Thailand than Australia.

I've found that Kangaroo repellent is far more effective in Thailand than Australia.

It works pretty good here in Canada as well. In fact I haven't seen any kangaroos here in ages. I'm not having much luck with cold repelent though. I bought this little container that said it helps with colds, and I sprayed the whole tube out the front door and yet it didn't warm the place up at all. It seems to work better when the sun comes out.

I've found that Kangaroo repellent is far more effective in Thailand than Australia.

It works pretty good here in Canada as well. In fact I haven't seen any kangaroos here in ages. I'm not having much luck with cold repelent though. I bought this little container that said it helps with colds, and I sprayed the whole tube out the front door and yet it didn't warm the place up at all. It seems to work better when the sun comes out.

We had a plague of the dam_n things here in Hong Kong the other week..........Change in the weather

I Iike to cIean my bathroom fIoor reguIarIy to prevent it being mucky. It gets mucky because when i cIean it, i forget ive just cIeaned it, and go in when the fIoor is stiII damp, depositing any trace of dirt on my feet promptIy back onto my bathroom fIoor. Its a cycIe. Ive Iearned to accept it with grace.

Next time ask Grace to clean the bathroom floor as I think she is partly responsible.

Don't use counter-pain and then use the toilet without washing your hands first.

Don't use counter-pain and then use the toilet without washing your hands first.

I'm guessing counter-pain is something like Deep Heat, Tiger Balm, or Pak Fah Yo?

If so, I agree.

I Iike to cIean my bathroom fIoor reguIarIy to prevent it being mucky. It gets mucky because when i cIean it, i forget ive just cIeaned it, and go in when the fIoor is stiII damp, depositing any trace of dirt on my feet promptIy back onto my bathroom fIoor. Its a cycIe. Ive Iearned to accept it with grace.

You need to break the cycle, Eek. These things just get to be habits that can't be broken.

I Iike to cIean my bathroom fIoor reguIarIy to prevent it being mucky. It gets mucky because when i cIean it, i forget ive just cIeaned it, and go in when the fIoor is stiII damp, depositing any trace of dirt on my feet promptIy back onto my bathroom fIoor. Its a cycIe. Ive Iearned to accept it with grace.

You need to break the cycle, Eek. These things just get to be habits that can't be broken.

Silly fish.

Grace is obviously the name of a Nun, so she'll always have a habit.............

Don't use counter-pain and then use the toilet without washing your hands first.

Or cut chilli.

Don't use counter-pain and then use the toilet without washing your hands first.

Or cut chilli.

This has always been a no no. You may cut the wrong stalk !!! One's seed is there to be spread around not to be cast aside before the old John Thomas is sliced for some bloody Mexican salad !!!

Don't use counter-pain and then use the toilet without washing your hands first.

Or cut chilli.

I never cut chili.

I pound it to death in a mortar, along with other assorted herbs and spices.

Oh, going to toilet - nope. Neither do I pat-on after-shave just prior to using the loo.

Don't use counter-pain and then use the toilet without washing your hands first.

Or cut chilli.

I never cut chili.

I pound it to death in a mortar, along with other assorted herbs and spices.

Oh, going to toilet - nope. Neither do I pat-on after-shave just prior to using the loo.

Wise Humph, very wise. ( mind you mortars are dangerous things, killed more folk in ww2 than rifles !!!!)

I Iike to cIean my bathroom fIoor reguIarIy to prevent it being mucky. It gets mucky because when i cIean it, i forget ive just cIeaned it, and go in when the fIoor is stiII damp, depositing any trace of dirt on my feet promptIy back onto my bathroom fIoor. Its a cycIe. Ive Iearned to accept it with grace.

You need to break the cycle, Eek. These things just get to be habits that can't be broken.

Silly fish.

Grace is obviously the name of a Nun, so she'll always have a habit.............

Always? Not neccessarily, silly piggy....If Grace was de-frocked, she would no longer have the habit......and as an aside, I would be happy to de-frock Grace.

^^From falling walls (mortar improperly mixed, perhaps)?

E: Got jumped

I Iike to cIean my bathroom fIoor reguIarIy to prevent it being mucky. It gets mucky because when i cIean it, i forget ive just cIeaned it, and go in when the fIoor is stiII damp, depositing any trace of dirt on my feet promptIy back onto my bathroom fIoor. Its a cycIe. Ive Iearned to accept it with grace.

You need to break the cycle, Eek. These things just get to be habits that can't be broken.

Silly fish.

Grace is obviously the name of a Nun, so she'll always have a habit.............

Always? Not neccessarily, silly piggy....If Grace was de-frocked, she would no longer have the habit......and as an aside, I would be happy to de-frock Grace.

Tsk.....If she's a Nun she's never had Nun, and is never likely to get Num either !!!!!

Don't use counter-pain and then use the toilet without washing your hands first.

Or cut chilli.

I never cut chili.

I pound it to death in a mortar, along with other assorted herbs and spices.

Oh, going to toilet - nope. Neither do I pat-on after-shave just prior to using the loo.

Wise Humph, very wise. ( mind you mortars are dangerous things, killed more folk in ww2 than rifles !!!!)

Don't take the pestle !!

Now dats funny

Always test the pressure of the 'bum gun' before using it.

I do it too, with the bathroom floor. I actually get down on my hands and knees to see which bits I have missed.

Then walk over to wipe them up. Then I am stuck in the corner of the beautiful cleaned tiles. I am not a gazelle. So it starts again.

Don't start me on the kitchen floor... Even with clean socks you still leave dirty bits.

Those muddy little cat paws....

Make yourself feel more important by carrying a bugle everywhere you go and sounding it before you enter the room.

Make yourself feel more important by carrying a bugle everywhere you go and sounding it before you enter the room.

I have found a French Horn equally as effective Thaddy,,,,,,,,,

Make yourself feel more important by carrying a bugle everywhere you go and sounding it before you enter the room.

I have found a French Horn equally as effective Thaddy,,,,,,,,,

As I do not blow my own trumpet, I think a one-man-band is more my style.

Make yourself feel more important by carrying a bugle everywhere you go and sounding it before you enter the room.

I have found a French Horn equally as effective Thaddy,,,,,,,,,

As I do not blow my own trumpet, I think a one-man-band is more my style.

You could make a lot of money on the stage if you could blow your own........... Humph

Edited to add, you'd get a lot of party invites too......