Thai massage attendant -

"This is the 10th that I've done today already. Can you give me a good tip?"

(as opposed to "you are my first customer today" and "i normally don't do this")

11) In my case... you so hansum you have me for free.

Yes, then you get drugged and robbed.

From Thai people getting served anywhere:

Thank you or Thai equivalent.

Standing in a queue with Thais; Your turn now, I will wait.

Speaking of things you never hear - a bar lady told me once that the girls at the bar referred to short time with a japanese men as 333.

3 inches

3 minutes

3,000 baht.

True story - I laughed my head off.

P.S. Apologies if any japanese members were offended.

I'd be better for us if it were,

1.5 inches

1.5 minutes

1500 baht

Most of them aren't worth 3000 baht...

With 40 plus pages, in case it has not been said;

Any Thai; the truth.

Any landlord; here's your deposit back.

Jingthing admitting he's in love with theblether

If not already mentioned

"Excuse me whilst I pull my vehicle out of the outside lane to let others pass"

or "I will pass this vehicle in front as though my life depended on it "as opposed to I must pass this vehicle like a torotise

most falang never having a good word to say about thailand and thai people

PTT spokesman: We have a serious oil spill incident here, we do not know how long it is going to taake to clean up.

Hitler was a real person.

#? Hey Mom, me and my friends have been discussing the importance of road safety. We have decided to always ware our helmets, drive safely and defensively, to drive on the proper side of the street and to never ever run red lights.

#?? My Ex-husband/BF was always an excellent provider for his children. He worked hard, never drank or used drugs, and was someone you could always depend on. Although we are no longer together, he still provides for his kids and takes an active part in their upbringing.

#??? Hey Mister. I see your hands are full of shopping bags. Please allow me to hold the door open for you.

#???? Where an amulet around my neck for good luck??? No, I find that getting up early and working hard gives me all the good luck I need.

25) Father in law - "Dinner is on me"

26) Wife - "I dont care what all my gf's have, I am happy with what I have now"

27) Waitress - "Heres your free water"

28) Oncoming driver - "Go ahead and walk in front of me, I brake for pedestrians"

29) Store employee - "May I help you"

30) Any Thai woman - "Im full and cant eat any more"

31) Wife - "You smell fine darling, you dont need to shower"

32) Wife - "Lets go to the beach so I can get a tan"

33) Shop owner - "No sir its the same price for you as it is for Thais"

rideswings, where and how did you meet my wife?

Bar girl: take your time, no need hurry!