Do You Ask About Your Wife’S/Girlfriend'S Past Relationships And What She Done Before You Met?

[elliss]

the thai ladies i have met ,

either claim to be a vergin, or had only,, one boyfriend ,

i must look stupid farang , number one.

[YipYipYa123]

Women cant really win in this one -sided current situation

theyre either labelled frumpy or frigid if they havent had much sex /or loads of partners or a demon in the sack

(then their man is bored of the boring sex and starts seeing other women on the side )

or they went the opposite way and had a lot of sexual experience / partners

(then they get called loose or easy b or a whole host of other derogatory names that comes with that side of things ....

thank the lord if u were born a man

[kerryk]

Women cant really win in this one -sided current situation

theyre either labelled frumpy or frigid if they havent had much sex /or loads of partners or a demon in the sack

(then their man is bored of the boring sex and starts seeing other women on the side )

or they went the opposite way and had a lot of sexual experience / partners

(then they get called loose or easy b or a whole host of other derogatory names that comes with that side of things ....

thank the lord if u were born a man

Loose may not be derogatory depending on your ethnicity. Or it may just be a descriptive term depending on what streets she worked or if the fleet was in.

[TommoPhysicist]

thank the lord if u were born a man

Yes, we can only be accused of rape, cruelty, child abuse without evidence, and then be pulled in for questioning or worse.

Not to mention losing access to our children, losing our homes and having to pay the ex money while she sleeps with a new guy.

Nope .... after thinking about it, would rather be a woman and risk people calling me a slut.

Edited June 16, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[MB1]

If my current companion was sexually active, someone was a very poor student. If I ddn't know better, I would swear someone was a Puritan in the past life. I'm not complaining, but just once it would be nice to have one of those situations I read about on the internet. Sleeping next to someone wearing pajamas and wrapped up in a bathrobe and a blanket is hardly an open invitation to carnal adventures. I have asked about past boyfriends and get the icy stare. On the other hand, when there is an argument, I have the mistake I made with someone tossed in my face about how I should go back to the gold digger.

I’m not sure if you realise it, but this is probably one of the most down to earth, gets right down to the nitty gritty, straight to the crux of matter posts on this thread. It describes exactly the core to the theme of relationships and how much people can change from they’re days of pre-marriage or pre-partner.

The sleeping next to someone wearing pajamas and wrapped up in a bathrobe and a blanket in my interpretation is a way of describing that relationships can become monotonous when everything always comes in plain packages, no thrills, spills and excitement. In some cases after many years of marriage or co-habiting together, it can be almost like living with a maiden aunt. Dullsville. I think the movie; A Fish Called Wanda with John Cleese and Jamie Lee Curtis depicts these situations exactly.

What you have described probably pertains to how it is in many relationships. Now, problems and ill feeling can arise when a husband discovers that during the past his wife was quite a promiscuous outgoing person and maybe considered pretty hot stuff by her previous partners, or even that she had deeper feelings, acted differently and had different attitudes towards others that are or have been in her social circle of friends and acquaintances and as you have mentioned, from the day of the marriage some wives try to convey the appearance of having always being some sort of Puritan character which according to them even making love with the lights on would be an extreme act of depravity.

Perhaps this is why many wives are afraid of revealing their past histories, because in a way they do have a part of themselves that they would prefer to keep separate from their husbands, which means there are many aspects of they’re lives they would rather keep to themselves or only share with others outside of the family relationship.

Maybe this is the primary reasons why so many relationships turn sour over the years and the men will go astray in order to find fulfilment, a bit of affection, even if it means putting on an act and paying for it and to add some spice into their lives.

This is why I believe it is important to have knowledge of a wife’s lifestyle, pre-marriage days, because it means you are getting the whole person, someone that is willing to give herself up, mind, body and soul to you, and not someone who is only prepared to give a part of herself as the ever caring dutiful little wifey who places censorships on her behavior, plus puts restrictions and limits herself to how far she will go to please her husband.

It is said; that behind every great man, stands a woman and it is really the woman who is the backbone of the family and if this system fails, than so does the whole family relationship.

this raises of the whole question of double standards again

most men will happily empty bucketloads of cum into any women available to them

3somes ,orgies ,drunken parties ,blowjobs ,anal ,facials etc are all encouraged by horny men

but many expect their women(the ones theyde consider marrying anyway ) to have not have done all this before with dozens of partners or

at least the thought of it gets to them

most men have no problem having hundreds of sexual partners but would they marry

a woman who has had hundreds of partners in the past ?

probably not ,more likely shel be rejected as damaged goods and theyle move on to something fresher or younger

unfortunately thats just the way it is and women will probably always lie about their sexual history and how many guns they have polished for

the fear of being branded in a negative way becaause of it

Bucketloads of cum, 3somes ,orgies ,drunken parties ,blowjobs ,anal ,facials etc?

Do you realise how ridiculous this sounds?

You’re boasting again or have been watching too many porn movies. It can cause hair growth on the palm of your hands and make you go blind, you know.

Why does a woman`s past always have to be given sexual overtones? This is purely in your mind, not mine.

You’re not getting my point. It is totally irrelevant what the woman done in the past, but what does matter is that a true soul mate should never be ashamed to share they’re past experiences with their partners, otherwise it means the spouse is putting restrictions into the closeness of the relationship with their partner.

I would feel much more comfortable with the knowledge of knowing the true character of my wife, rather than living a make believe with someone I think I know, but don`t really know 100%.

You say to Jaideeguy "do you realise how ridiculous this sounds" and then you go on to say you would feel much more comfortable at the end of your post.

The ridiculous part for me was when he said "most men" should have said some.

But hang on a minute you married your wife without knowing about her past but now it seems from your posts that you now want to know all about it.

Well forgive me for saying but surely if you feel this way then you should have found out before you married her.

Sometimes as I've said before it's best to let sleeping dogs lie but if it's chewing you up and your having problems accepting that your wife seems reluctant to talk about her past then have a chat and tell her how you really feel.

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[YipYipYa123]

thank the lord if u were born a man

Yes, we can only be accused of rape, cruelty, child abuse without evidence, and then be pulled in for questioning or worse.

Not to mention losing access to our children, losing our homes and having to pay the ex money while she sleeps with a new guy.

Nope .... after thinking about it, would rather be a woman and risk people calling me a slut.

speak for yourself ,none of those things have happened to me ......

[Beetlejuice]

thank the lord if u were born a man

Yes, we can only be accused of rape, cruelty, child abuse without evidence, and then be pulled in for questioning or worse.

Not to mention losing access to our children, losing our homes and having to pay the ex money while she sleeps with a new guy.

Nope .... after thinking about it, would rather be a woman and risk people calling me a slut.

speak for yourself ,none of those things have happened to me ......

I`m not surprised.

[TommoPhysicist]

And to add to that.

If I were a woman, some guy would pay me for sex and buy me a house and car ..... apparently I wouldn't even have to talk to him.

So for my next incarnation ........ slutty but hot woman please.

Edited June 16, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[Beetlejuice]

You say to Jaideeguy "do you realise how ridiculous this sounds" and then you go on to say you would feel much more comfortable at the end of your post.

The ridiculous part for me was when he said "most men" should have said some.

But hang on a minute you married your wife without knowing about her past but now it seems from your posts that you now want to know all about it.

Well forgive me for saying but surely if you feel this way then you should have found out before you married her.

Sometimes as I've said before it's best to let sleeping dogs lie but if it's chewing you up and your having problems accepting that your wife seems reluctant to talk about her past then have a chat and tell her how you really feel.

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Are you referring to me?

Think you have me mixed up with another poster.

[theblether]

Oh well......this topic has gone South. What a surprise.

[inthepink]

99% of thai women are not prostitutes from age 15+ like you imagine

if you dont understand what i said .......its probably a waste of time saying it again

And I never claimed they were, but in this thread we are only talking about that very small percentage of Thai girls that marry/live with white guys. I'm trying to think of a white/Thai couple that I have met (estimate 150+ couples, guys mostly 50+) where the girl didn't work p4p .............

Apart from my wife (who of course is different), I know one couple where the girl didn't appear to have.

I have only met three young guys with Thai wives, all three were, and nasty ones at that ... the guys didn't have enough cash.

But as Robblock will be quick to point out, I might be mixing in the wrong circles and I'm sure the girls you youngsters find in BK are different.

I think you must be mixing in the wrong circles but out of interest, where did you meet most of these 150+ couples to whom you refer and was there a large age difference between the man and the woman in each case? I know many Westerners marry prostitutes but I'd be surprised if the percentage was as high as your personal survey would seem to suggest. Edited June 16, 2012 by inthepink

[Beetlejuice]

And to add to that.

If I were a woman, some guy would pay me for sex and buy me a house and car ..... apparently I wouldn't even have to talk to him.

So for my next incarnation ........ slutty but hot woman please.

Don`t worry Tommo, in the next life, if you come back as a woman, I`ll buy you a house and a car, marry you and the sluttier, the more I like it, so it will be a match made in heaven.

Edited June 16, 2012 by Beetlejuice

[TommoPhysicist]

And to add to that.

If I were a woman, some guy would pay me for sex and buy me a house and car ..... apparently I wouldn't even have to talk to him.

So for my next incarnation ........ slutty but hot woman please.

Don`t worry Tommo, in the next life, if you come back as a woman, I`ll buy you a house and a car, marry you and the sluttier, the more I like it, so it will be a match made in heaven.

Done!

[Beetlejuice]

Oh well......this topic has gone South. What a surprise.

Ah please, don`t get this thread closed yet?

With the arguments, bad language, verbal abuse and unnecessary violence, I’m really starting to enjoy myself. It doesn’t get any better than this.

[MB1]

@beetlejuice.

Yes I am reffering to you as you well know it but if you want to dodge the issue of my quote to you then fine by me.

Maybe you only want to debate the issue with people who agree with you.

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Edited June 16, 2012 by MB1

[kerryk]

most men have no problem having hundreds of sexual partners but would they marry

a woman who has had hundreds of partners in the past ?

probably not ,more likely shel be rejected as damaged goods and theyle move on to something fresher or younger

I have no problem with a girls past, but question your numbers.

Younger Hmmmmmm, most of the girls working p4p start at age 15 and do at least 1 guy a day (if reasonably pretty).

Lets be kind and say 300 a year ..... so by 25 would have had approx 3,000 guys. How much younger did you have in mind?

This was based on the fairly gentle BG trade, you would have to raise the daily number to 3-5 guys a day if the lady was working in the harder core, massage, go-go, Thai brothel, soapys.

not everyone wants to marry a girl from the sex industry though........

like i said ,most men will happily bang the ass off a hooker ........but that doesnt mean they will marry her

99% of thai women are not prostitutes from age 15+ like you imagine

if you dont understand what i said .......its probably a waste of time saying it again

Did he really say 99% of Thai women are prostitutes? Or did you lie and make that up? I thought he said women working p4p not all Thai women. But maybe I missed something. But if you made that up you should apologize. That's not nice. I mean that is really not nice to say another said 99% of Thai women are prostitutes. That is really a bad thing to lie about.

[Beetlejuice]

@beetlejuice.

Yes I am reffering to you as you well know it but if you want to dodge the issue of my quote to you then fine by me.

Maybe you only want to debate the issue with people who agree with you.

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I don`t understand what you are disagreeing with? It appears with everything so far for the sake of.

So now I am confused and going off to have my dinner that my wife of many past secrets is preparing for me and will probably throw in a few beers into the bargain.

[MB1]

How much do you know of your Thai partners past?

Ive been with my Thai lady since the dawning of time and must admit I know very little about her pre-beetlejuice days.

When I have asked details about her younger single days I only get vague answers and she has rarely mentioned anything about her past unless I have asked. Also there are very few old photos of my wifes pre-marriage history in existence.

She claims to have had one boyfriend before we met, but has never gone into details such as where they met and why the relationship ended. She has mentioned what jobs she done for a couple of companies and because her parents were very poor, that she was brought up by her grandparents.

This is about all I know regarding her single days. As for me, I am like an open book, have numerous photos spanning right back through my life history, still have all my old papers and documents of where I have lived and worked and so on. As a matter of fact I have always been proud to talk about my past with my family.

I think the attitude is, the past is the past and is no longer significant so whats the point of talking about it. But because of this, I have never felt that my wife is really close with me, although we have had a really wonderful relationship over the years.

So is my situation unique? Have you even been inquisitive about your wifes/girlfriends past? And how much do you feel you really know them? Perhaps it`s best not to know and let sleeping dogs lie?

Have a re-read of your first post above and then you may realise why I posted what I did in my post/quote to you when you asked if I was reffering to you.

Ring any bells does it. Hope so.

Edit. As to your reply above this post Op maybe your confusing yourself and it is time to close the thread, don't want to confuse you too much if your going to have a few beers with dinner that wifeys making for you do we eh.

Anyway enjoy, maybe you'll a have a chat over dinner and discover what you desire to know, and maybe it might just come back and bite you on the bum.

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Edited June 16, 2012 by MB1

[thenervoussurgeon]

When i met my wife she certainly was not a virgin ,but i dont believe she had a lot of relationships either ,ive seen a picture of one ex and group pics of her with friends both boys and girls when she was in college .

But to be honest why would you be interested in who she slept with before (thats for youngsters who are not sure of themselves) also when i met her she was and had been working for her sister for years ,to be honest i dont think she had a very exciting life ,just ordinary.

[MB1]

When i met my wife she certainly was not a virgin ,but i dont believe she had a lot of relationships either ,ive seen a picture of one ex and group pics of her with friends both boys and girls when she was in college .

But to be honest why would you be interested in who she slept with before (thats for youngsters who are not sure of themselves) also when i met her she was and had been working for her sister for years ,to be honest i dont think she had a very exciting life ,just ordinary.

When I met my GF she was virgin upon the ridiculous, but I don't question the past and same her with me, some people find this approach for the best but others feel they have a right and need to know.

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Edited June 16, 2012 by MB1

[Beetlejuice]

How much do you know of your Thai partners past?

Ive been with my Thai lady since the dawning of time and must admit I know very little about her pre-beetlejuice days.

When I have asked details about her younger single days I only get vague answers and she has rarely mentioned anything about her past unless I have asked. Also there are very few old photos of my wifes pre-marriage history in existence.

She claims to have had one boyfriend before we met, but has never gone into details such as where they met and why the relationship ended. She has mentioned what jobs she done for a couple of companies and because her parents were very poor, that she was brought up by her grandparents.

This is about all I know regarding her single days. As for me, I am like an open book, have numerous photos spanning right back through my life history, still have all my old papers and documents of where I have lived and worked and so on. As a matter of fact I have always been proud to talk about my past with my family.

I think the attitude is, the past is the past and is no longer significant so whats the point of talking about it. But because of this, I have never felt that my wife is really close with me, although we have had a really wonderful relationship over the years.

So is my situation unique? Have you even been inquisitive about your wifes/girlfriends past? And how much do you feel you really know them? Perhaps it`s best not to know and let sleeping dogs lie?

Have a re-read of your first post above and then you may realise why I posted what I did in my post/quote to you when you asked if I was reffering to you.

Ring any bells does it. Hope so.

Edit. As to your reply above this post Op maybe your confusing yourself and it is time to close the thread, don't want to confuse you too much if your going to have a few beers with dinner that wifeys making for you do we eh.

Anyway enjoy, maybe you'll a have a chat over dinner and discover what you desire to know, and maybe it might just come back and bite you on the bum.

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Nop, sorry, you`re still not making any sense.

In my original post I am not stating any of my opinions, but actually asking some questions:

So is my situation unique? Have you even been inquisitive about your wifes/girlfriends past? And how much do you feel you really know them? Perhaps it`s best not to know and let sleeping dogs lie?

So WTH are you disagreeing with?

Anyway, just for the sake of, I totally agree with everything you say and may you live long and prosper.

And BTW, during dinner my wife told me that before we met, she had murdered her first two husbands by poisoning their food but it was never proven, which may cheer you up.

So it`s true, it`s better not to know the past.

Edited June 16, 2012 by Beetlejuice

[pipo1000]

When i met my wife she certainly was not a virgin ,but i dont believe she had a lot of relationships either ,ive seen a picture of one ex and group pics of her with friends both boys and girls when she was in college .

As long as they were all dressed in the last picture there is probably not much to worry, if not ..............

[BigJohnnyBKK]

<snip>

It is totally irrelevant what the woman done in the past, but what does matter is that a true soul mate should never be ashamed to share they’re past experiences with their partners, otherwise it means the spouse is putting restrictions into the closeness of the relationship with their partner. I would feel much more comfortable with the knowledge of knowing the true character of my wife, rather than living a make believe with someone I think I know, but don`t really know 100%.

While I believe at least in theory of the possibility of "soul mates", I definitely don't think it's necessary or in most cases desirable that we "know everything" about each other.

In fact I reckon it's impossible, sure we can care for and touch each other deeply, and tell everything we feel comfortable sharing, but the real and important communication isn't at a verbal level anyway, mere facts don't convey the whole truth, and sometimes some things are better left unsaid and unknown, at least until the owner feels the time is right to let it out.

[brit1984]

I would rather not tell my wife about the day I dropped a catch for the school cricket team against a visiting MCC XI. Even writing this post brings back painful and upsetting memories.

If my wife ever asks me about dropped catches (quite unlikely), I will tell her, otherwise (if the topic doesn't come up in conversation) there is no need. The same principle applies to other (obviously less important) areas of my past life.

Although, I wouldn't lie to my wife if she asked me a particular question, most of the issues discussed in this thread I haven't been asked about (except in a joking way) by any partner since I was dating (often very silly) teenage English girls in my high school days.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

[MB1]

Quoting Beetlejuice.

And BTW, during dinner my wife told me that before we met, she had murdered her first two husbands by poisoning their food but it was never proven, which may cheer you up.

So it`s true, it`s better not to know the past.

Well yes in this case as you could be the next victim for dragging up the past, but you don't feel your wife is really close to you anyway do you it seems, as you posted in the OP the quoted below..

I think the attitude is, the past is the past and is no longer significant so whats the point of talking about it. But because of this, I have never felt that my wife is really close with me, although we have had a really wonderful relationship over the years.

.

Anyway beetlej, I beleive that trying to drag up the past is the wrong thing to do, if a partner want's to tell then up to them but if partner demands to know or becomes insecure or lose trust because a partner don't want to talk about the past they only have themselves to blame if things go wrong

Anyway don't lose too much sleep tonight over what wifey told you, Thai's do have a sense of humour and she's kidding you about 2 murders' just like I know your kidding me about the conversation, but who really knows what a partner has done in the past, some people do have some really dark secrets.

[arthurwait]

To all the people that replied to my post I can't be bothered quoting you all. The bit in bold is what I'm refering to. Not what numerous people have misinterpreted my posts as or have tried to make it about.

I don't give a shit how many people a girl has screwed before. It's the vast generalization of this post.

If they were even slightly pretty, then they were probably shagged by more men than you can imagine.

They will all claim to be either virgins or only had one previous boyfriend ...... depending on how gullible they think you look.

Why would you even care about what they did in the past and who they did it with?

A simple:

Lets both go for a HIV test before we move in together, solves all potential problems.

[tinfoilhat]

If my current companion was sexually active, someone was a very poor student. If I ddn't know better, I would swear someone was a Puritan in the past life. I'm not complaining, but just once it would be nice to have one of those situations I read about on the internet. Sleeping next to someone wearing pajamas and wrapped up in a bathrobe and a blanket is hardly an open invitation to carnal adventures. I have asked about past boyfriends and get the icy stare. On the other hand, when there is an argument, I have the mistake I made with someone tossed in my face about how I should go back to the gold digger.

why would you content yourself with a frigid woman?

[Beetlejuice]

Quoting Beetlejuice.

And BTW, during dinner my wife told me that before we met, she had murdered her first two husbands by poisoning their food but it was never proven, which may cheer you up.

So it`s true, it`s better not to know the past.

Well yes in this case as you could be the next victim for dragging up the past, but you don't feel your wife is really close to you anyway do you it seems, as you posted in the OP the quoted below..

I think the attitude is, the past is the past and is no longer significant so whats the point of talking about it. But because of this, I have never felt that my wife is really close with me, although we have had a really wonderful relationship over the years.

.

Anyway beetlej, I beleive that trying to drag up the past is the wrong thing to do, if a partner want's to tell then up to them but if partner demands to know or becomes insecure or lose trust because a partner don't want to talk about the past they only have themselves to blame if things go wrong

Anyway don't lose too much sleep tonight over what wifey told you, Thai's do have a sense of humour and she's kidding you about 2 murders' just like I know your kidding me about the conversation, but who really knows what a partner has done in the past, some people do have some really dark secrets.

Well, I certainly would not hold anything my wife done pre-beetlejuice days against her.

We are both in our late 50s now and have been together for almost 30 years, so I guess the chances of my wife being invited to participate in any 3 somes or orgies are pretty slim and I think if she were, I would say; bladdy good luck to her and hope she enjoys it with my blessing.

I suppose once we reach into a certain age the past becomes long distant and irrelavant, it`s the future we are looking forward to now.

[MB1]

Quoting Beetlejuice.

And BTW, during dinner my wife told me that before we met, she had murdered her first two husbands by poisoning their food but it was never proven, which may cheer you up.

So it`s true, it`s better not to know the past.

Well yes in this case as you could be the next victim for dragging up the past, but you don't feel your wife is really close to you anyway do you it seems, as you posted in the OP the quoted below..

I think the attitude is, the past is the past and is no longer significant so whats the point of talking about it. But because of this, I have never felt that my wife is really close with me, although we have had a really wonderful relationship over the years.

.

Anyway beetlej, I beleive that trying to drag up the past is the wrong thing to do, if a partner want's to tell then up to them but if partner demands to know or becomes insecure or lose trust because a partner don't want to talk about the past they only have themselves to blame if things go wrong

Anyway don't lose too much sleep tonight over what wifey told you, Thai's do have a sense of humour and she's kidding you about 2 murders' just like I know your kidding me about the conversation, but who really knows what a partner has done in the past, some people do have some really dark secrets.

Well, I certainly would not hold anything my wife done pre-beetlejuice days against her.

We are both in our late 50s now and have been together for almost 30 years, so I guess the chances of my wife being invited to participate in any 3 somes or orgies are pretty slim and I think if she were, I would say; bladdy good luck to her and hope she enjoys it with my blessing.

I suppose once we reach into a certain age the past becomes long distant and irrelavant, it`s the future we are looking forward to now.

Well good luck to you both and if wife get's invited to a 3 some why not make it a four and join in you might enjoy it.

30 years together is along time for any relationship nowadays and for a farang/Thai relationship an even bigger achievment so congratulations and respect to you both.

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Edited June 16, 2012 by MB1

[YipYipYa123]

To all the people that replied to my post I can't be bothered quoting you all. The bit in bold is what I'm refering to. Not what numerous people have misinterpreted my posts as or have tried to make it about.

I don't give a shit how many people a girl has screwed before. It's the vast generalization of this post.

If they were even slightly pretty, then they were probably shagged by more men than you can imagine.

They will all claim to be either virgins or only had one previous boyfriend ...... depending on how gullible they think you look.

Why would you even care about what they did in the past and who they did it with?

A simple:

Lets both go for a HIV test before we move in together, solves all potential problems.

that would depend on ones imagination ...........some people may have very liberal guesstimates about their partners sexual history

and others may be more conservative depending on the individual

:I do think he has a point though ,any woman remotely attractive is getting male attention from the mid teens if not earlier

of course not EVERY girl has been screwed six ways from sunday by her 18th birthday but

SOME of them will whether they will admit or not and the "attractive " ones obviously get more chances to do it than the "lesser attractive "

amongst them

or not