I'Ve Been The Victim Of An Unprovoked Violent Attack.

[GuestHouse]

So there was I minding my own business, actually getting ready for a cycle training run, slowly riding along the road checking my setting up my cycle computer and preparing to turn around and head back in the other direction for a timed ride. I was alone.

Out of the blue my assailant came screaming up the road and leapt at me, arms flailing hell bent on doing me some serious damage. I just managed to dodge the attack, but then I'm the wrong end of a dead end road and need to go past my attacker to get to my car.

My assailant standings square in the middle of the road waiting for me to return.

After a quick search I pulled a bloody big piece of wood out of the hedge and armed with this set off back to get past the vicious little b@stard.

When I got closer it turned into a real stand-off, but sense got the better of him, or rather the obvious intent I had to beat his brains in got the better of him.

Once past, I went on my ride, ticked off but thinking that was the end of it. I was wrong.

When I got back to my car (which was a good 200 meters away from where this attack occurred and directly opposite a manned security post) - My attacker spots me putting my bike away and runs down the road towards me - I only just got into the car before he arrives, thumping on the door and window.

The security people came over and chased him off but his intent and the fact that he really has got it in for me was very clear.

I'm not about to put up with this - within the next couple of days I'm gong back and I'm going to kill him.

So folks, what's the best way to kill a monkey - poison, a cross bow, beat the <snip> with a big stick?

[arthurwait]

[arthurwait]

Don't go back he might be tooled up as well.

[transam]

I don't know your physical stature but your two hands will do the job if you are motivated, BUT, big but, if the kid is pissed off and he knows you have pissed him off then all may not be forgiven and he will come back mob handed. Change your exercise venue for a while. Are you near me l wonder.

[StreetCowboy]

Perhaps discretion should be the better part of valour in this instance...

[CharlieH]

gotta be a troll.

[GuestHouse]

gotta be a troll.

Upon evidence what do you come to that conclusion?

[transam]

gotta be a troll.

You don't read this forum enough chum to know the respect the OP has. .

[evadgib]

Seconded, I've been in his fanclub for years:)

BTW GH, I expected the punchline/culprit to have been a soi dog.

[mrtoad]

Good story GH, maybe just take some Bananas with you next time

[nottocus]

Spank the monkey of course.

[GuestHouse]

I've had dogs all my life, I've never ever had a problem with dogs, even out riding they might bark and occasionally give a half hearted chase, but I've never had a real nasty dog attack to deal with.

This monkey attack was viscous.

[chrisinth]

gotta be a troll.

You don't read this forum enough chum to know the respect the OP has. .

Just lost a lot of my respect running from a monkey..................

[David48]

gotta be a troll.

You don't read this forum enough chum to know the respect the OP has. .

+1

[chrisinth]

Second thoughts GH, respect regained.

Apparently been spotted on the p1ss before the prices go up tomorrow.

You be carefull out there......

[Gary A]

Speak softly but carry a big stick. If you are relatively fit he will likely back off. If you have doubts about winning, then it is time to hire a policeman. What is his problem with you?

[brit1984]

GuestHouse... I always imagined you to be more the coercive diplomacy type of guy....

Anyway, do you still have the co-ordinates of the location on your bicycle computer?

If so, report this suspected terrorism to the US embassy so they can organise an air-strike

[GuestHouse]

What is his problem with you?

I don't know, even after nearly 7000 posts on TV I still don't speak 'Monkey'.

[StreetCowboy]

I've had dogs all my life, I've never ever had a problem with dogs, even out riding they might bark and occasionally give a half hearted chase, but I've never had a real nasty dog attack to deal with.

This monkey attack was viscous.

Treacly

[StreetCowboy]

gotta be a troll.

I'm pretty sure GH could tell the difference between a monkey and a troll.

If it had been a troll, he could have quite simply answered the question or paid the toll to get past...

SC

[transam]

What is his problem with you?

I don't know, even after nearly 7000 posts on TV I still don't speak 'Monkey'.

Many do straight off.

[brit1984]

What is his problem with you?

I don't know, even after nearly 7000 posts on TV I still don't speak 'Monkey'.

Well they do say most attackers know their victim... maybe this wasn't unprovoked after all

[StreetCowboy]

What is his problem with you?

I don't know, even after nearly 7000 posts on TV I still don't speak 'Monkey'.

Well they do say most attackers know their victim... maybe this wasn't unprovoked after all

You reckon it could be a family feud?

Or maybe GH has been up to monkey business?

[poanoi]

One of these cost around 500 baht at sunday/tuesday market (talat nat)

http://www.weapons-universe.com/Personal_Defense/Expandable_Batons.shtml

they have a holster that fit to your belt

[BEENTHEREDONETHAT]

GH don't monkey around with it, get a can of pepper spray. Easy to carry and use and will discourage any future return attacks.

[arthurwait]

GuestHouse... I always imagined you to be more the coercive diplomacy type of guy....

Anyway, do you still have the co-ordinates of the location on your bicycle computer?

If so, report this suspected terrorism to the US embassy so they can organise an air-strike

Does the phone have a modern pulse tone or go ling ling ?

[payak]

did you sleep with his sister or something, monkeys a firey little bastards.

[elliss]

gotta be a troll.

You don't read this forum enough chum to know the respect the OP has. .

i second that.

what were the motives for this attack ?

have you fallen out with somebody , revenge , jealousy ,etc

from what you say , he was too fired up , for just a random confrontation.

[Scully]

I got attacked in Gibraltar many years ago by a little hairy git. My fault for smiling at it apparently as it thought I wanted a fight.

I was a kid at the time but still remember the power of its bite.

[chris1dna]

What's a troll? Seriously.