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I'Ve Been The Victim Of An Unprovoked Violent Attack.

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You must cut off the head its the only way, preferred way is nail clippers, it takes time and skill................you might not be man enough??

Anyway enough of your monkey business get back to worktongue.png

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gotta be a troll.

Upon evidence what do you come to that conclusion?

Clearly a monkey not a troll!

The monkey was obviously a disgruntled TV poster.

You must cut off the head its the only way, preferred way is nail clippers, it takes time and skill................you might not be man enough??

Anyway enough of your monkey business get back to worktongue.png

Monkey work?

So this is the story GH told the little lady when he came home with a bunch of monkey bites on his neck. Did she go for it or do you sleep on your stomach now?

gotta be a troll.

You don't read this forum enough chum to know the respect the OP has. rolleyes.gif .

+ 1

gotta be a troll.

You don't read this forum enough chum to know the respect the OP has. rolleyes.gif .

doesn't make it any less a troll. he is hoping to catch out those on the board who are stupid enough to comment without reading the whole post.

it is clearly a troll and a good one at that. I personally was unaware he even had a sense of humour.

I've had dogs all my life, I've never ever had a problem with dogs, even out riding they might bark and occasionally give a half hearted chase, but I've never had a real nasty dog attack to deal with.

This monkey attack was viscous.

viscous? like motor oil?

You must cut off the head its the only way, preferred way is nail clippers, it takes time and skill................you might not be man enough??

Anyway enough of your monkey business get back to worktongue.png

Monkey work?

monkey see monkey do

gotta be a troll.

You don't read this forum enough chum to know the respect the OP has. rolleyes.gif .

doesn't make it any less a troll. he is hoping to catch out those on the board who are stupid enough to comment without reading the whole post.

it is clearly a troll and a good one at that. I personally was unaware he even had a sense of humour.

Sense of humour? On this forum? You are joking, aren't you?

You sure this not Karma GH ? I'm reminded of the Indian bus driver who took over a route on which a monkey used to regularly hitch a ride. New driver threw monkey off bus with considerable force. Next day at the same bus stop whole troop of monkeys got on and attacked the driver smile.png

Well I am willing to give GH the benefit of the doubt. If it were Smokes or Thebleth starting this topic, well that's a different story lol

Well I am willing to give GH the benefit of the doubt. If it were Smokes or Thebleth starting this topic, well that's a different story lol

I can't believe you would be so cruel about our caldenonian coposters

SC

EDIT

Ahd'aeken how ye can bear tae sae "Caledonian" whenye'veonlygot wan tiger in the fridge;d'ye no pine for a 70/? Are ye no' sore afflicted wi'a fearsome thurst?

Well I am willing to give GH the benefit of the doubt. If it were Smokes or Thebleth starting this topic, well that's a different story lol

I can't believe you would be so cruel about our caldenonian coposters

SC

EDIT

Ahd'aeken how ye can bear tae sae "Caledonian" whenye'veonlygot wan tiger in the fridge;d'ye no pine for a 70/? Are ye no' sore afflicted wi'a fearsome thurst?

Actually wasnt being cruel to them, just complimentary to the OP ;)

Well I am willing to give GH the benefit of the doubt. If it were Smokes or Thebleth starting this topic, well that's a different story lol

I can't believe you would be so cruel about our caldenonian coposters

SC

EDIT

Ahd'aeken how ye can bear tae sae "Caledonian" whenye'veonlygot wan tiger in the fridge;d'ye no pine for a 70/? Are ye no' sore afflicted wi'a fearsome thurst?

Actually wasnt being cruel to them, just complimentary to the OP wink.png

Yeah I thought it was cleverly done. thumbsup.gif

Oops...that's indefensible to a Manc....tongue.png

It was attempted robbery.

The monkey had overheard 2 bar girls talking and thought that they had said that all farangs have big peanuts.

Well I am willing to give GH the benefit of the doubt. If it were Smokes or Thebleth starting this topic, well that's a different story lol

I can't believe you would be so cruel about our caldenonian coposters

SC

EDIT

Ahd'aeken how ye can bear tae sae "Caledonian" whenye'veonlygot wan tiger in the fridge;d'ye no pine for a 70/? Are ye no' sore afflicted wi'a fearsome thurst?

Actually wasnt being cruel to them, just complimentary to the OP wink.png

Yeah I thought it was cleverly done. thumbsup.gif

Oops...that's indefensible to a Manc....tongue.png

Somehow I feel like i have just been attacked (warranted?) by a strange one. Good luck to the OP. BTW how did Beano make out with his condo confrontation the other day?

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My father told me this story, that he told me he overheard in the Empire Club, when he was younger than I am today...

Of course, in those days, Africa was the place to be, and our finest and bravest went to the dark continent to find their fortunes and to make their mark as a man. And, of course, as is now the case in Thailand, many never returned, for one reason or another...

"I say, did you hear about old Carruthers from the 42nd Foot? Spent the last twenty years living with a monkey, up a tree"

"A monkey, d'ye say? What kind of monkey?"

"A female monkey, of course! Nothing funny about old Carruthers!"

Only men under 40...(kg) should wear Lycra. Understandable violent reaction tendencies to those how have to be exposed to these rule breakers.

Either that, or bike envy.

;)

gotta be a troll.

Trolls don't have a 6000 post count, but I digress,

I suspect it may have been pheromone induced, the hapless primate was euphoric at the possibilities then became enraged over the apparent rejection, ... rolleyes.gifhuh.png

All kidding aside monkeys are dangerous, recalling the lady that was almost killed off that island near Patters.

Engage the monkey in a deep conversation about the benefits of various types of pension plans, after a while it'll simply go away.

I got twacked in my butt and pushed in my back by a monkey on the rock of Gibraltar, for a buddy welcome. When I turned around, the molester turned away and gazed up the sky as if saying " I didn't do it" and I almost imagined Cheeta Gibbon start to whistle a mellow tune, Wanna do monkey?

Reading the OP's story, during the first lines I thought it was the Soi dog/ bicyclist encounter. When I lived in Cha Am, I always carried a club along on my rides to defend myself in attacks. I have seldom seen a place more infested with Soi dogs than Cha Am.

Where I live there are no more monkeys, too much rubber and rice fields, nowhere to hide. Very sad.

I would be more afraid of a monkey then of a soi dog. But they told me monkeys are dangerous and strong.

I hate monkeys. Wrecked my brand new car many years ago. Pulled the mirrors off, door seals out, window wipers.

Filthy flea ridden urine soaked inbred bastards.

Don't worry GH....it'll be dead from the rabies in a week

It must have been jealous of your bike , campag box set et al . When you go back take a little bike for it , a tricycle would be best , and a little red fez with Gellatto written on it , and small cymbals , I bet he would love you for ever , you could call him Mr Giggles .

I may have been scammed by a monkey and the owner. I'm still not sure. I parked my car along the beach south of Hua Hin. When I came back to the car a huge monkey was sitting on the hood. Every time I got near the car it would bare its inch long fangs and act like it was ready to jump on me. By a strange coincidence a road vendor across the road was selling bananas. I bough a couple of bananas and threw them on the road in front of my car. He just watched while a couple of juvenile monkeys ran off with them. The banana vendor was laughing at me. He told my wife that I would have to buy a bunch of bananas to get him to move off the car. I was looking for a big rock or a stick and then thought better of that idea. I bought a bunch of bananas and threw them in front of the car. Sure enough it jumped off, grabbed the bunch and disappeared into the trees.

After I was on my way, it occurred to me that the vendor owned the monkey and I was the sucker for falling for the scam. I'm still not sure.

I'll give you the best advice. It's the same one you and your friends give out.

Go home, no monkeys.

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