Things To Mitigate Dissatisfaction In Thailand For Gf

[Aurelllian]

You say that you work in "conflict zones". Where does your girlfriend stay while you are at work? does she go with you into the conflict zone? If so, is Bangkok really worse than that? She enjoy being in the conflict zone more than here?

If she doesn't go with you, then where does she go? Home to mummy? If she really loves you, she would be happy being anywhere in the world with you, as opposed to home at mommy's house or anywhere else in the world without you.

Someone said earlier that there is probably a deeper issue. I agree. She sounds deeply neurotic and insecure. Breaking out in tears at Cinnabun? She probably caught you staring at the cute waitress / lovely women everywhere here, and figures you're going to go and shag someone hotter than her.

I have not worked since March. We have only been serious for the past year and we essentially saw each other on my R&Rs.

Conflict zones are unaccompanied posts.

I think she likes me a lot, thinks I am a good catch, but she has options and if I don't give her what she wants she will either leave of make my small condo unbearable to live in.

Thanks for your help. heading to bed supperclub now but will prove bonafides tomorrow in person if I have a taker.

[jacktrip]

Let's face reality,

i have not met many 'winners' since moving here (myself excluded, of course).

[Aurelllian]

Hmm, 400 to 700 a month in utilities? Are you running a meth lab? Where in the US are you planning to move to? Don’t you have to buy furniture and a car and insurance anyway when you get there anyway?

" Average cost of utilities in Henderson/Las Vegas?

I was in a forum about Henderson and someone in there said they pay an average of $600/month for electricity, gas and water for a single story home?!?!?! Is this true?

My husband and I have been looking at the Las Vegas area as a place to possibly re-locate to, but even if housing is affordable there right now, there is no way we could afford to pay that much just for utilities .

http://www.city-data...-las-vegas.html

I looked at your link, and as I suspected, all BS. One would think that if you owned a condo there you would have some idea of what the utilities cost there. Even if you’ve been gone for ten years, you'd know that winter is far and away the cheapest time of year in Nevada. I lived in Vegas back in the 70's and I still remember the electric bill would drop 90% when you turn the air conditioner off.

Actually, I did a quick Google search and it appears that utilities in Henderson Nevada are about 8% lower than the US national average.

http://www.areavibes...cost-of-living/

Oh what a wicked web we weave….

Again, you focus on the immaterial and incorrect: This time, "you astutely call BS", because you believe that 400-600 per month is too much for utilities in Vegas

Electric bills can easily run 400 bucks per month in Vegas during the summer. Remember that Vegas is a desert and its hot...very hot..for an extended period of time.

Let's do some basic math, shall we? 200 per month for electricity...110 per month for phone, cable and net through Timewarner, 50-100 bucks a month for gas and water...what's your math say? 360-400 is what mine says. datafeed plans for phone is $89 per phone (two of us)..my my my Sherlock, we are at 600 bucks now.

And this does not even account for the car, insurance, and higher entertainment cost. Vegas is not Bangkok....you can spend 200 bucks at the Marqee and drop another 40 bucks in tips getting from the car to the club.

You made an error. I expect you to acknowledge and say sorry.

Come on dude, 600 bucks for utilities in not really that much in the US anymore. I am shocked you did not cast doubt upon my assertion that I am a former diplomat.

That's much more harder to refute if claim the negative.

Once again, explain the relevance of utility bills in Vegas to a very attractive euro women not liking BKK?

More harder, is that diplo-speak?

It's mid-September, why are you talking about electric bills in the summer?

Regardless, the car the phones the utilities, all of those things you would have to pay for whether you were in a rental or in your condo, so I still don't see how your not able to make this work if you want to.

nah, it's slang:)

dude, vegas was 96 degrees yesterday...there are no real seasons in Vegas...it's hot all the time.

once again, you are off point.

[Aurelllian]

I don't have a problem with his electric bills. But why would you post the same odd topic twice?

Why Do Hot Farangs Dislike It Here?

Because we left for about a month, she had surgery back home and was away for two months, and now she is crying and making my life miserable. That's why.

I thought maybe I can get an answer. I am at wits end.

I think it is obvious to everyone that you wanted to brag about having a hot non Asian woman which you assume would make all of us living here with Asian women jealous. One thread was OK but two is a little much. No one believes you and if they do they don't care. Hot women here are inexpensive and go by the hour, day or lifetime. It is not a big deal. We all live in Thailand. Maybe you should try your luck impressing people who live in the US or UK.

two threads in what six months...four months....I don't care if you believe me...just a hail mary shot at a possible solution.

[chiangmaikelly]

I don't have a problem with his electric bills. But why would you post the same odd topic twice?

Why Do Hot Farangs Dislike It Here?

Because we left for about a month, she had surgery back home and was away for two months, and now she is crying and making my life miserable. That's why.

I thought maybe I can get an answer. I am at wits end.

I think it is obvious to everyone that you wanted to brag about having a hot non Asian woman which you assume would make all of us living here with Asian women jealous. One thread was OK but two is a little much. No one believes you and if they do they don't care. Hot women here are inexpensive and go by the hour, day or lifetime. It is not a big deal. We all live in Thailand. Maybe you should try your luck impressing people who live in the US or UK.

two threads in what six months...four months....I don't care if you believe me...just a hail mary shot at a possible solution.

Getting romantic advice on how to handle a Western woman from the members of Thai Visa?

[NeverSure]

Now, if it were me, I'd figure that if a woman really loved me she'd sacrifice a lot just to be with me. From my old geezer perspective, it sounds as if you're trying to do all of the changing and accomodating. It sounds like it's hurting your "heart," too.

Just for me, if I were in that situation I'd figure she didn't really care about me that much unless she got her way. I'd be asking myself what it was about me that was making me cling so hard when it sounds so one sided and she sounds so demanding.

I'd get a handle on what the truth is and dump her. I'd just be very happy that I wasn't married to her. Things rarely improve after marriage. If anything they get worse.

I'd be keeping my money in my own pocket until I met a gal who cared enough to go through hail to stay with me.

$.02

[mjj]

To the OP,

Many envious people in Thailand, the world in fact.

How fit your girlfriends is is irrelevant to your predicament.

How much money you have or don't is irrelevant to your predicament.

Do you love her? Does she love you?

If you answer yes, everything else is irrelevant. Do whatever you can to stay that way.

People with happy marriages will know what I'm talking about, those less fortunate may not.

[tinfoilhat]

Getting romantic advice on how to handle a Western woman from the members of Thai Visa?

An attractive one no less, most of these guys are still smarting over the 225 pounder that took half

[chiangmaikelly]

To the OP,

Many envious people in Thailand, the world in fact.

How fit your girlfriends is is irrelevant to your predicament.

How much money you have or don't is irrelevant to your predicament.

Do you love her? Does she love you?

If you answer yes, everything else is irrelevant. Do whatever you can to stay that way.

People with happy marriages will know what I'm talking about, those less fortunate may not.

And those who live in Thailand will smile.

Edited September 18, 2012 by chiangmaikelly

[bino]

Conflict zones are unaccompanied posts.

So- why not send her home to mum or wherever she lives while you are working? Since she doesn't want to be here, and you don't want to go anywhere else / accommodate her, this would be an acceptable solution. After all, she has been accepting this already between your R and R's. Three months will be a good test- she created the situation / need for 3 month separation, so if she is still there when it is over, then she genuinely cares for you. If she isn't, then you will see her for what she is.

Other thing strikes me as odd; you say that you hate it here yourself, and don't like staying more than 3 weeks. She doesn't like it. What I can't help wondering is why you bought a condo here?

[mogandave]

dude, vegas was 96 degrees yesterday...there are no real seasons in Vegas...it's hot all the time.

once again, you are off point.

No real seasons? That's not how I remember it, nor is it how weather.com recorded it.

http://www.weather.c.../graph/USNV0049

Dude, you are nothing if not entertaining.

[taiwangirl]

I have met expat wives who are unhappy with their location, and if they are unhappy, it makes the whole situation unlivable. And that seems to be happening here. Especially since you appear to travel quite a bit, which can only make matters more worse.

As much as you may love Thailand, it is not going to work for you as a couple. If that is true, and you think that there is a future with this girl, then you should give some thought about why keep your condo here. If you say you are keeping for future rent, but being a long distance landlord is not a good idea (in my opinion, especially if you are rarely going to be here).

I would look at selling the condo, using the money from the sale to pay off the remaining mortgage, and use the extra to allow you to short term rent in the US while you evict the tenant in your other condo. It sounds as though your girlfriend would be happier in more familiar surroundings (e.g. the US) than Thailand.

[mogandave]

I have met expat wives who are unhappy with their location, and if they are unhappy, it makes the whole situation unlivable. And that seems to be happening here. Especially since you appear to travel quite a bit, which can only make matters more worse.

As much as you may love Thailand, it is not going to work for you as a couple. If that is true, and you think that there is a future with this girl, then you should give some thought about why keep your condo here. If you say you are keeping for future rent, but being a long distance landlord is not a good idea (in my opinion, especially if you are rarely going to be here).

I would look at selling the condo, using the money from the sale to pay off the remaining mortgage, and use the extra to allow you to short term rent in the US while you evict the tenant in your other condo. It sounds as though your girlfriend would be happier in more familiar surroundings (e.g. the US) than Thailand.

No, he hates it here too, he just can't afford to move back to the US because the utilities are too expensive.

[bino]

I have met expat wives who are unhappy with their location, and if they are unhappy, it makes the whole situation unlivable. And that seems to be happening here. Especially since you appear to travel quite a bit, which can only make matters more worse.

As much as you may love Thailand, it is not going to work for you as a couple. If that is true, and you think that there is a future with this girl, then you should give some thought about why keep your condo here. If you say you are keeping for future rent, but being a long distance landlord is not a good idea (in my opinion, especially if you are rarely going to be here).

I would look at selling the condo, using the money from the sale to pay off the remaining mortgage, and use the extra to allow you to short term rent in the US while you evict the tenant in your other condo. It sounds as though your girlfriend would be happier in more familiar surroundings (e.g. the US) than Thailand.

Good post- that the OP should follow.

OP- you have just been screwed for 7 months rent, and going to be screwed for 3 more. What makes you think Thailand is going to be different? You really should consider doing exactly what TWG suggests. Sell it quick and use the proceeds to move on to a place that your GF wants to be.

[SlyAnimal]

As I find it very difficult to believe that her being "hot" would be the cause of her problem.

Rather I think it'd be the immense boredom she would feel, and lack of friends etc. Since I assume while you're in conflict zones, she is in Thailand, and probably bored out of her mind because she doesn't speak Thai, doesn't have many friends (or even aquaintances) and is probably disgusted/scared of some of the things in the country, as she'd be feeling very out of her depth with the differences in culture etc. Especially, as she's not even single, so she might feel weird going to a nightclub or similar by herself, or scared to go out at night in a big strange city without you there.

When it comes to making friends, I can understand how she'd find it difficult to be friends with Thai girls. They'd probably take her out with their friends, everyone would talk about how beautiful she is and then they'd all lapse into Thai and not speak another word to her until they eventually say bub bye. This isn't because she's beautiful, this is because they prefer to speak Thai (Even if everyone could speak fluent English, they'd still speak Thai lol), and because they all want to comment on beautiful features that people have. But bear in mind, that it's not because she's soo hot that they are saying that, but rather because all westerners are beautiful to them (white skin, a nose which isn't flat, eyes which aren't brown, hair which isn't black, all of these are very beautiful to Thai people.)

When she tries to make friends with farang girls, there aren't many, so she probably can't be very picky on them. And it's unlikely that they have similar interests/personalities, as the farang girls would have come to Thailand by choice, because they want to have this lifestyle. However as she came because of you, she likely wouldn't have the same qualities which are necessary to live here, as I think you do need to be very down to earth, accepting of others, relaxed and adaptable, perhaps her personality differs from this.

To find good friends, I would suggest the following for her:

- Learn Thai if she wants Thai friends. Or at the very least, ensure that she speaks slowly and clearly with Thai people so that they can understand her.

- Find Thai girls who speak English. Then try to spend time with them 1 on 1, rather than in groups, as in groups they'll usually just speak Thai.

- Don't let gender be a barrier. She shouldn't just restrict herself to female friends, as there's little choice and the chance of finding someone who she can talk to will be slim. At least with farang guys, they'll talk to her at the very minimum because she's hot lol. If she's followed you this far, I doubt she'll stray lol, and she could get some good true friends out of it.

- Don't let age be a barrier. If I only looked for friends who were a similar age to me, I'd unfortunately have very few western friends here, as most people are in their 40s/50s/60s. She won't have too many things in common with them, but they will have English and the fact that they live in a foreign country.

Anywho, that's my 2c. If she can't find friends, then she'll need to leave Thailand. After which, you'll have to work out what you are going to do (Maybe she could move to Singapore instead? Or Australia?, both aren't that much further than Thailand for when you come home to visit).

[pigeonjake]

buy her a lap dog, she could take it for nice long walks,

and by the sound of it could give you a rest

[travelmann]

Go home to the US and rent until you can evict your tenants, maybe? ..... or try not to be so apparently obsessed with appearance (ref your comments to "hot" people.... models etc) and look more for a person's inner qualities?

Sorry, this may sound harsh, but your post makes you both sound self-obsessed and shallow, IMHO.

It's not that easy: pay on three places at once...i cant afford it...we both dont like it here but if it saves me 3000 USD per month I will stay here until my tenet is evicted.

i am seeking real strategies to cope with this..not comments on my shallowness or whatever...the girl started crying today when we were in Emporium having a Cinabun.

I have asked her to volunteer but she has not done it.

Slap her round the face................ no better still slap yourself round the face your both as daft as each other

[travelmann]

I had a similar problem, but I just got another girlfriend, a really hot rich red-headed model girlfriend to buy us a big beach house keep my really hot blond airline pilot girlfriend company. Now they can go out and have fun together playing topless volleyball on the beach in the front yard and whatnot while I'm out doing my rich fortune 500 CEO thing. Why not try that?

Or if you're a one-woman guy and all in love and what not you could rent an apartment in the US. But for me, two really hot rich girlfriends is twice as good as one!

I like your style!!!

[GuestHouse]

Take a break from Thailand and spend your next R&R in Italy.

You'll both get different perspective on life (and your relationship).

[travelmann]

oh really http://www.weatheronline.co.uk/weather/maps/city?LANG=en&CEL=C&SI=mph&MAPS=over&CONT=namk&LAND=NV&REGION=0015&WMO=72386&UP=0&R=0&LEVEL=160&NOREGION=1

[travelmann]

OK The answer is take the spoilt self obsessed brat to a Thai home for handicapped people for the day and tell her how lucky she is not to be born or end up like this, then slap her round the face and dump her if she keeps bleating.

Sounds to me like one of those vomit inducing "Orange country real housewives" type I had the misfortune to watch once on the tv.

[Rsquared]

Sounds to me that the OP needs to re-asses his relationship values.

She sounds like the spoilt brat that has always got her way in life, based solely on her looks.

Maybe Travelman's advice about visiting a Thai home for the handicapped is good.....but no need to slap her in the face (I know it was probably not to be taken literally.....then I could be wrong), but if that doesn't stop her "bleating", then yes dump her.

Another option....wear a burka, if she is so upset at people looking at her.

[Sing_Sling]

I have met expat wives who are unhappy with their location, and if they are unhappy, it makes the whole situation unlivable. And that seems to be happening here. Especially since you appear to travel quite a bit, which can only make matters more worse.

As much as you may love Thailand, it is not going to work for you as a couple. If that is true, and you think that there is a future with this girl, then you should give some thought about why keep your condo here. If you say you are keeping for future rent, but being a long distance landlord is not a good idea (in my opinion, especially if you are rarely going to be here).

I would look at selling the condo, using the money from the sale to pay off the remaining mortgage, and use the extra to allow you to short term rent in the US while you evict the tenant in your other condo. It sounds as though your girlfriend would be happier in more familiar surroundings (e.g. the US) than Thailand.

No, he hates it here too, he just can't afford to move back to the US because the utilities are too expensive.

Ah, those utilities bills . . .

I was going to buy a BMW M5 last week but then the water bill arrived and destroyed that . . . electricity bill is due in October - dam_n . . .

[geriatrickid]

Relocate to Singapore or Hong Kong.

[Aurelllian]

To the OP,

Many envious people in Thailand, the world in fact.

How fit your girlfriends is is irrelevant to your predicament.

How much money you have or don't is irrelevant to your predicament.

Do you love her? Does she love you?

If you answer yes, everything else is irrelevant. Do whatever you can to stay that way.

People with happy marriages will know what I'm talking about, those less fortunate may not.

Hi,

Good post. I have a slightly different interpretation re the relevancy of looks and resources. I would also respectfully contend that Jerry Mcguire type inspirational films aside, that love does not trump all and many people make unemotive rational decisions about partners.

I only mentioned that she was a former model and flight attendant to impart two things: she is desirable, has options, and is not economically dependent upon me.

The dynamics would be different if she possessed neither the ability to "upgrade" (or at least switch brands) or lacked the financial resources to leave me.

i was not being a braggart but rather imparting context to the situation.

Money--a better term would be resources-- matters because it helps define the limits of accommodation. i would prefer to live in Vegas as well, but Thailand is a much more affordable option at this juncture for me. I cant afford to maintain three residences while I wait for another contract. It's my money. I worked hard for it, and don't like to throw it away.

if I had unlimited resources I would keep places in Vegas, Bangkok, Dubai, and Cape Town and shuttle between them with her in tow. But I cant, so I must make her happy without breaking the bank.

[Aurelllian]

I don't have a problem with his electric bills. But why would you post the same odd topic twice?

Why Do Hot Farangs Dislike It Here?

Because we left for about a month, she had surgery back home and was away for two months, and now she is crying and making my life miserable. That's why.

I thought maybe I can get an answer. I am at wits end.

I think it is obvious to everyone that you wanted to brag about having a hot non Asian woman which you assume would make all of us living here with Asian women jealous. One thread was OK but two is a little much. No one believes you and if they do they don't care. Hot women here are inexpensive and go by the hour, day or lifetime. It is not a big deal. We all live in Thailand. Maybe you should try your luck impressing people who live in the US or UK.

This was not my intent. I am sorry you feel envious about non-asian women.

[SomTumTiger]

Date a woman who is not a head case. End of story.

[chiangmaikelly]

I don't have a problem with his electric bills. But why would you post the same odd topic twice?

Why Do Hot Farangs Dislike It Here?

Because we left for about a month, she had surgery back home and was away for two months, and now she is crying and making my life miserable. That's why.

I thought maybe I can get an answer. I am at wits end.

I think it is obvious to everyone that you wanted to brag about having a hot non Asian woman which you assume would make all of us living here with Asian women jealous. One thread was OK but two is a little much. No one believes you and if they do they don't care. Hot women here are inexpensive and go by the hour, day or lifetime. It is not a big deal. We all live in Thailand. Maybe you should try your luck impressing people who live in the US or UK.

This was not my intent. I am sorry you feel envious about non-asian women.

I guess English is not your first language. That's OK. People from the sub continent often come on Thai Visa with posts similar to yours. What I said was perhaps another forum outside of Asia would be more appropriate to brag in as the response might be better.

[GuestHouse]

Hot women here are inexpensive and go by the hour, day or lifetime.

For clarity CMK is almost certainly mistaking 'luke warm' for 'hot'.

[Aurelllian]

Conflict zones are unaccompanied posts.

So- why not send her home to mum or wherever she lives while you are working? Since she doesn't want to be here, and you don't want to go anywhere else / accommodate her, this would be an acceptable solution. After all, she has been accepting this already between your R and R's. Three months will be a good test- she created the situation / need for 3 month separation, so if she is still there when it is over, then she genuinely cares for you. If she isn't, then you will see her for what she is.

Other thing strikes me as odd; you say that you hate it here yourself, and don't like staying more than 3 weeks. She doesn't like it. What I can't help wondering is why you bought a condo here?

I am not seeking to impose a respite in our relationship. I like her and want her next to me;it helps make this place bearable for me.

As we both lack visas and are required to leave every 30 days, I previously sent her home every 30 days for a week or so but the cost of sending her to europe or running off to Vegas for a week adds up. I am not working now and cant spend like I am on a 200k a year contract anymore. The days where I would do a 90 day STTA in Afghanistan and come back with 50k are over.

Everything is fine when we are in Vegas or Dubai (where she lived and we met), but once she gets here she becomes depressed and bitchy.

Why I opted to buy a condo here? Thailand, for better or for worse, is the best location for a person like myself to be domiciled at--six hours or so from the middle east and central asia, 2nd world place with first world amenities, smiley non intrusive population, cheap tennis, relatively inexpensive to live the good life, and lack of bureaucratic obstacles. I tried living in Germany for a year and it was a logistical nightmare (I spent days standing in lines when i had only a ten day RRB). I have never had a visa or any problems living in Thailand. I come and go as I wish with no hassle.

I lived in Dubai and loved it, but you cant save money there if you are going out. And real estate there is outrageous.

I considered Cape Town or the Canary Islands but you need a car in Cape Town...no 3 dollar taxis...and its dam_n dangerous. I don't wanna survive a year on a PRT in Buqubah in Iraq and get shot by someone over 30 bucks. No sir.

Another thing that the dude who could not add nor understand that Vegas is a desert failed to consider is that while I am not Ed Saverin, we get out and about here to a level that i could not afford to do in Vegas.

Bottle service at Bed Supperclub is 140 bucks and they save the bottle for two weeks (my cheap butt drinks a third at time which allows me free entrance for three separate times)..bottle service at Pure, Marqee, or Ghost Bar is 500 bucks if you are lucky. And you have to tip in Vegas...not ten percent but 17-20 percent or you get nasty looks.

it's just more expensive to eat out and party and play tennis in Vegas than it is here. I also love strip clubs..can't stay out of them and the clubs in Vegas will max out a credit card in night faster than cairo can put together a protest against the Great Satan.

So, to answer your question, bangkok works for me financially, logistically, and bureaucratically.

It's such a nice place for people in my situation.