I really am!

I would like some help fellow Bedlamites.

Im all in the name of self improvement, and i realise my grammar skills are well under par.(I suspect wont improve much, but one can try, right!)

I was teased in Facebook a little while ago from a friend of a friend, for my bad use of grammar. So, i would like to know where i went wrong.

Please have compassion, those of you who know English well, and help me learn

Where and what are my obvious errors please. I'll take it on the chin!

Your friends friend seems like a tosser

the .. should be 3 dots...

i should be I

It is a FB post for farks sake!

Yeah Eek, yur gramor sPilling adn punctu:ation suks!

Funny thing is, I moonlight as an researcher/editor/proof-reader for a few transcription companies, and some of the jobs that come across my desk are not much better than the above sentence. I shit you not!

Personally I studied FOR a degree in London.

If I had just wanted to study a degree, I would first have had to decide which degree (probably 45^o, but maybe 30^o), then sat for hours just looking at the damned thing. Don't know what the results of the study would have been - these days it may have earned me a doctorate.

(And England will never, ever, be a part of Europe or any other organisation. We led the Empire, we lead the Commonwealth and we guide the UN, the Security Council and NATO with our expertise)

In the post where your friend's friend critisised you, as well as what BookMan has said:

'Its' should have an apostrophe as you are using the contraction of 'it has'.

Your colon should be a semi-colon.

Nothing major, they are just being a tad anal.

the .. should be 3 dots...

i should be I

It is a FB post for farks sake!

The '...' is an ellipsis

Ah! Now I see that you have written within the body of the text of the FB page.

I hate 'gotten' !! It is an Americanism that seems now to have the approval of the lazy, stupid grammarians that draw unspecified amounts of unearned money at some of our greatest universities.

'All day Saturday daytime' seems to be overstated. 'All day Saturday' or 'Saturday daytime' would have been enough, in my (very humble) opinion.

Your final sentence in the entry could be better phrased - I really feel for those students who are worse off now than I was in my day (??)

And in your final entry you claim to have misplaced a colon, which is very careless, especially after you claim you were working it off (figuratively) in the earlier post.

Why huv ye no added me...?

<sniff>

Its one of life's pleasures seeking out and destroying the spelling and grammar police.

(100/100 in all my tests I'll have you know)

No bloody prizes though.

Thanks guys! I appreciate knowing where i have gone wrong (just this thread though please, not all over the forum! )

Chances are, i probably wont improve much, sadly, but ill try! I just wish that when i write something, for my words to come across clear and articulate (literally speaking).

Thing is, when i was young, there was a lot of home issues (which i wont get into!), and with moving around, i ended up in 6 different primary schools and at the end of my primary school education, couldnt even read the time correctly! In order to progress to High School i had to cram in a lot of learning over one summer holiday..and i did, but it wasnt easy.

Anyway, since that summer i have always strived to improve myself. But, there is always an element that remembers being the kid that knew nothing!

Oh..and the Facebook post. The friend of the friend took my retort in a good way actually and its ended up in happy spirits!

..and smokie, you never requested me!

In the post where your friend's friend critisised you, as well as what BookMan has said:

'Its' should have an apostrophe as you are using the contraction of 'it has'.

Your colon should be a semi-colon.

Nothing major, they are just being a tad anal.

critisised

As we are on grammar and I like to go hunting the Grammar Police with a passion, can we continue this thread, if eek doesn't mind, regarding other aspects of grammar that I just can't get my head around,

Are there any simple rules in regard to the apostrophe, because I just don't get it.

Is it Mossy's beer, or moss', or mossies or mossies's ( ok that's a stretch ) or mosses or moss's

Please be gentle

OK, if you want to use your shortened name of Moss then it is Moss' beer.

Any of the others would be acceptable on this forum however.

Edit: Added a comma just in case.

How did you do that editing stuff ?

Anyway , this has just appeared now from a girl my age , who went to uni as well

It's bn a hard week but finaly getin 2geva nw : ) Tnx 2 evry1 hu's bn rnd t c my Dad n also those hu showed concern : ) Gud fing is it's a chance 2 hava reunion wit evry1 agen @ Mum's house : )

All her other posts are more or less the same

In the post where your friend's friend critisised you, as well as what BookMan has said:

'Its' should have an apostrophe as you are using the contraction of 'it has'.

Your colon should be a semi-colon.

Nothing major, they are just being a tad anal.

critisised

Is your friend's friend Mossfinn?

I corresponded with local writer S Tsow for a while and he said that if I genuinely wanted to write properly to read this work.

http://www.bartleby.com/141/

In the post where your friend's friend critisised you, as well as what BookMan has said:

'Its' should have an apostrophe as you are using the contraction of 'it has'.

Your colon should be a semi-colon.

Nothing major, they are just being a tad anal.

In that case, using colons and being anal, means dunny paper required to fix all the crap.

As we are on grammar and I like to go hunting the Grammar Police with a passion, can we continue this thread, if eek doesn't mind, regarding other aspects of grammar that I just can't get my head around,

Are there any simple rules in regard to the apostrophe, because I just don't get it.

Is it Mossy's beer, or moss', or mossies or mossies's ( ok that's a stretch ) or mosses or moss's

Please be gentle

Good idea! Happy to have this as the grammar check thread!

The ' one, i think i have that one sorted (after years ago forever scratching my head over it). Same as Smokie said. Basically any word with ends with an S that you want to make possessive (is thats the right terminology?- arghh!). Or in my laymen terms, anything that you want to make into "belonging to", when it ends with an S.

Ie: Jesus' disciples (sorry to get all religious with my grammar lol..but its all i could think of. Im not religious..)

Moss' mosh pit.

How did you do that editing stuff ?

Photoshop Boater.

Anyway , this has just appeared now from a girl my age , who went to uni as well

It's bn a hard week but finaly getin 2geva nw : ) Tnx 2 evry1 hu's bn rnd t c my Dad n also those hu showed concern : ) Gud fing is it's a chance 2 hava reunion wit evry1 agen @ Mum's house : )

All her other posts are more or less the same

Ok..wow.... !! I understood it (used to be a gamer, so i comprehend much worse..lol). I have used some shortcuts with text messages but never in general writing.

I corresponded with local writer S Tsow for a while and he said that if I genuinely wanted to write properly to read this work.

http://www.bartleby.com/141/

Great Scea, will read his tips. Very helpful.Thank you!

As we are on grammar and I like to go hunting the Grammar Police with a passion, can we continue this thread, if eek doesn't mind, regarding other aspects of grammar that I just can't get my head around,

Are there any simple rules in regard to the apostrophe, because I just don't get it.

Is it Mossy's beer, or moss', or mossies or mossies's ( ok that's a stretch ) or mosses or moss's

Please be gentle

http://oxforddictionaries.com/words/apostrophe

Is it Mossy's beer, or moss', or mossies or mossies's ( ok that's a stretch ) or mosses or moss's

If you're buying, it can be whichever of the above suits you at the time.

But seriously, I prefer Mossy's beer. And, as it is the first you put in, I suspect it is your preference too.

Just as long as it's Marston Pedigree from the cask.

In the post where your friend's friend critisised you, as well as what BookMan has said:

'Its' should have an apostrophe as you are using the contraction of 'it has'.

Your colon should be a semi-colon.

Nothing major, they are just being a tad anal.

critisised

Is your friend's friend Mossfinn?

Only kidding Morning Star, grammar policing don't exactly count in Bedlam, or else I would be Smoked by '36

Why huv ye no added me...?

<sniff>

Its one of life's pleasures seeking out and destroying the spelling and grammar police.

(100/100 in all my tests I'll have you know)

No bloody prizes though.

Right then........none of you have seen the glaring grammatical faults in the post, so get your act together Mr Smokie, ( and the rest of you ), and identify them!!!

When I first read the thread title, I thought Eek was having trouble with her wayward Gran'ma.

Why huv ye no added me...?

<sniff>

Its one of life's pleasures seeking out and destroying the spelling and grammar police.

(100/100 in all my tests I'll have you know)

No bloody prizes though.

Right then........none of you have seen the glaring grammatical faults in the post, so get your act together Mr Smokie, ( and the rest of you ), and identify them!!!

It's one of life's pleasures seeking out and destroying the spelling and grammar police (100/100 in all my tests, I'll have you know).

No bloody prizes though!

How did I do?

Is it Mossy's beer, or moss', or mossies or mossies's ( ok that's a stretch ) or mosses or moss's

If your name was 'Mossy' and the beer belonged to you, then the possesive 's' would need an apostrophe, so Mossy's beer would be correct.

If your name was 'Moss' and the beer belonged to you, then Moss' beer is correct.

Mossies would be the plural of moss (except, and I haven't checked, I have a feeling moss, as in the plant, is an uncountable noun). The spelling pattern for turning a noun ending in 'y' to a plural would be to drop the 'y' and add an 'i'. For turning a noun ending in 'ss' you would use 'es', therefore Moss's would never be used.

As a disclaimer, in case I am wrong, it's all a test to see if you can spot my errors!

Why huv ye no added me...?

<sniff>

Its one of life's pleasures seeking out and destroying the spelling and grammar police.

(100/100 in all my tests I'll have you know)

No bloody prizes though.

Right then........none of you have seen the glaring grammatical faults in the post, so get your act together Mr Smokie, ( and the rest of you ), and identify them!!!

It's one of life's pleasures seeking out and destroying the spelling and grammar police (100/100 in all my tests, I'll have you know).

No bloody prizes though!

How did I do?

To be honest with you in this internet era speed is off the essence, eek's post on Facebook was easily understandable and as such should stand on it's own merits. We just don't have time to grammatically test every phrase or message.

So yes, attack and destroy the grammar police, and with those big teeth of yours, you can fairly leave a mark

The glaring grammatical fault was in the incorrect use of numbers......this link explains it very well........

http://www.grammarbook.com/numbers/numbers.asp

If you are writing numbers, use the same form for every number as the first form you use. Ad a rule of thumb single digit numbers should be written, anything larger should be numerical, but you shouldn't use both forms of numbering in the same sentence, context, or text.

There were other grammatical faults but I don't want LucidLucifer to bite me so I'll be quiet now

had someone made that comment to me on fb, my response would have been along the "why don't you fuc_k off & get a life you gramma nazi" but then we all know I have a short fuse & rarely tolerate twattishness.

My take on the written word is, as long as it is understandable & the writer has taken normal consideration with spelling & grammar there is little point being anal about it.

This txt spk is the thing I hate, especially when coming from anyone over the age of 20.

Those who comment that 'It's on fb, so spelling/grammar are less important' are, in context, probably correct.

However such an attitude may carry through to other types of communication - especially in the matter of formal letters. Here there would be other considerations, some with legal consequences.

I have spent a large part of my life formulating or defending claims in the construction industry and several have been won or lost on the construction of one or two sentences within the claim. In 2009 I managed to save over 50 million dollars for one client, due solely to a careless slip by the claimant. Made me very popular. The other guy left his company and went to work in Finland.

I deplore all these txt spk and other garbled means of communication, although I am at times guilty of using them. Depends entirely upon circumstances.

formal or legalese should be done by professionals, general communication is done by people with varied levels of education & gramatical understanding. being a &lt;deleted&gt; to about some minor written error is just a way for someone with little else to impress with, try to play the big one.